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hbag
Feb 13, 2021

piss lord






Hi! This is my first CYOA on SA, but I've made a few of them in the past. Usually I figure things out as I go, as I'm not really the best at pre-planning a whole, entire thing for my players to do. The way this one'll work is you all control one person, and whatever decision gets said the most (including ones that're similar, i.e "kick the guy in the nuts" and "kick the guy in the dick and call him a dweeb" would count as the same) is the decision we go for, sometimes with a combination of several decisions if I think it'd work and/or be entertaining. Should combat happen, I'll be using the Friday Night Firefight system from Cyberpunk 2020, because of course I am. If you die, it's not completely game over - This is the 22nd century!

So, with all that out of the way, let's get started! Wirehead's a Cyberpunk CYOA set somewhere in the early 22nd century. You're someone just trying to make ends meet, be that as a gun-for-hire, neckbeard netrunner, corporate stooge, or whatever else comes to mind. It's totally up to you. I've got a few fun ideas.

----

You wake up with quite possibly the worst headache of your life. At least, you think it is. You can't seem to remember. You manage to roll out of bed and stumble over to your studio apartment's bathroom, knocking over a few carefully discarded bottles of alcohol on your way. Wiping some of the steam off the mirror, you get a good look at yourse-- HEUUURGGCHKK-- you... uh, look back up at the mirror after spewing into the sink, and squint at your reflection.

Who are you, again? You're not even sure what you look like. This mirror sucks.
(Let's have some ideas for our character!)

(More of these boxes might appear as things progress, keep that in mind!)

hbag fucked around with this message at 07:01 on Mar 3, 2021

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gleebster
Dec 16, 2006

Only a howler

Pillbug

>Drink water.

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015



I- I know who I am. The inventor of artificial stupidity.

*turns on dumbbox*

A Fancy Hat
Nov 18, 2016

Always remember that the former President was dumber than the dumbest person you've ever met by a wide margin



We should have a cyborg eye that can pop out and walk around on little spider legs. That way it can crawl around and help us spy on stuff. Also it should be named "Li'l Eye Guy".

Also we need to be grossly overweight and have multiple tubes attached to our internal organs to keep us alive.

Dog Kisser
Mar 30, 2005

But People have fears that beasts do not. Questions, too.


A Fancy Hat posted:

We should have a cyborg eye that can pop out and walk around on little spider legs. That way it can crawl around and help us spy on stuff. Also it should be named "Li'l Eye Guy".
Yes!

quote:

Also we need to be grossly overweight and have multiple tubes attached to our internal organs to keep us alive.
No!

DeadFatDuckFat
Oct 29, 2012

This avatar brought to you by the 'save our dead gay forums' foundation.


We have an expensive cyberdeck because we are a nerd, but are still paying it off in installments because we are poor

The Walrus
Jul 9, 2002




*consider why you discarded empty bottles 'carefully' but not into the trash can*


*call therapist*



*book appointment to discuss hoarding and OCD issues*

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981

MTV




We need a weed vape pen and a plastic water bottle filled with flat Coke in case we rip one too hard

Play
Apr 25, 2006

So I roll with a rolling thunder
And I howl with the howling wind
And I drift downstream for as long as it takes
To get up and around the bend

So we've got a fat, poor, vaping nerd. This wasn't supposed to be self-insertion, guys!

Could've had like, some badass merc with combat augments but nooOOOooo

Bronze Fonz
Feb 14, 2019






I knew I shouldn't have bought all that crypto, you think to yourself out loud. I could probably afford a bathroom and gorilla arms if I wasn't so loving stupid sometimes.

*looks around, desperately searching for that weed vape pen*

Meme Poker Party
Sep 1, 2006

THIS NEW AV WILL LET ME POST LIZARD TITS TWICE AS EFFICIENTLY!

IT'S GIVING ME A FUCKING BONER RIGHT NOW!


Need to eat something to help settle this stomach.


*Check room for floor pizza*

Lieutenant Dan
Oct 27, 2009

Weedlord Bonerhitler


I would very, very, very much like to be a vampire.

Failing that I agree with giving us a weed pen and floor pizza. Do we have a phone? Is there a contact labeled "MOM"?

AshanaCratolus
Feb 26, 2021


I also would like some floor pizza. And maybe finding whatever passes for my wallet in this century so i know if I can afford more booze.

Ass-penny
Jan 18, 2008



Play posted:

So we've got a fat, poor, vaping nerd. This wasn't supposed to be self-insertion, guys!

Could've had like, some badass merc with combat augments but nooOOOooo

You could always vote against the current consensus.

Count this post as a vote for being a person of average build with a cyberarm where the hand can shift aside and we have a machine gun in our forearm. We should also have a weed pen.

Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006

In the cheery brightness of the 41st millennium there is only CHRISTMAS SPIRIT!


> unceasingly poo poo pants while body deflates like old balloon

Ventral EggSac
Dec 3, 2019



A Fancy Hat posted:

Also we need to be grossly overweight and have multiple tubes attached to our internal organs to keep us alive.

As a compromise let's have one (1) colostomy bag.

DarkSoulsTantrum
Apr 6, 2011

this kills the crab

Sure, they're visually impressive, but a lot of posters find large avatars physically uncomfortable. Furthermore, the owners of large avatars often rely on their size alone and don't bother to develop more refined posting techniques.





Heyyy wait a minute...thatís a funny looking mirror...

*turns on monitor*

Badactura
Feb 14, 2019

My wish lives in the future.


Run a comb through my volcanic red neon hair that I got implanted: It looks like poo poo because I bought the cheap plastic version.

Play
Apr 25, 2006

So I roll with a rolling thunder
And I howl with the howling wind
And I drift downstream for as long as it takes
To get up and around the bend

rear end-penny posted:

You could always vote against the current consensus.

Count this post as a vote for being a person of average build with a cyberarm where the hand can shift aside and we have a machine gun in our forearm. We should also have a weed pen.

I thought about it but I kinda like the idea. Cyberpunk goonslob. He's still gotta be good at netrunning though, not a complete piece of poo poo loser. Floor pizza is a-okay

A Fancy Hat
Nov 18, 2016

Always remember that the former President was dumber than the dumbest person you've ever met by a wide margin



We attach our multi-tool hand.

Vape pen, bidet, that flashlight you can freeze in an ice cube and it still works, pizza cutter, and a few "secret weapons" for later all whirr and click into place.

Going to the bathroom is all done digitally now, so we also have a bluetooth device installed in our bowels that instantly transports all waste material to the nearest bluetooth-enabled toilet. No need to slow down on this adventure.

DeadFatDuckFat
Oct 29, 2012

This avatar brought to you by the 'save our dead gay forums' foundation.


Play posted:

I thought about it but I kinda like the idea. Cyberpunk goonslob. He's still gotta be good at netrunning though, not a complete piece of poo poo loser. Floor pizza is a-okay

I mean, we can't really afford to buy tons of booze and pizza so we just use our nice deck to hack the most poorly secured pizza parlors for sustenance

Zeluth
May 12, 2001



>look around

You can't see poo poo

>look for spectacles

You can't see poo poo

>go south

You hear a *crunch*

>look down

You can't see poo poo

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015



> everything is either brittle or goopy, so dark.. something in front of you is solid though, rock hard, jutting into your fingers

> GRAB

> You have 2 rock hard nipples between your thumb and forefinger, you tug them onto solid ground and a light (your old zippo) illuminates the face of a beautiful woman, your grip tightens as she places a joint in your mouth

> TOKE

> now itís dark again, but all the light is not lost.

HugeGrossBurrito
Mar 20, 2018


lol ill sticky this when you are off your cspam probe

staberind
Feb 20, 2008

Klomping endlessly thru the gray void...





Fun Shoe

Are we able to experience joy or loss? is there a lead hanging from the light socket into a transformer, and from there into the inner workings of our brain?
can anyone smell baking bread?

HOMO ERECTUS
Dec 27, 2012

Love Conquers All







more like WEEDHEAD

> Smoke two joints in the morning
> Smoke smoke two joints at night
> Smoke two joints in the afternoon
> Feel all right
> Smoke two joints in time of peace
> Smoke two in time of war
> Smoke two joints before smoking two joints
> Smoke two more

hbag
Feb 13, 2021

piss lord




Well, it's starting to come back to you. You almost wish it didn't. Overall, you seem fine, maybe a little pudgy. You grab your DopeStik from the sink and breathe a sigh of relief that you didn't get vomit on it. This thing wasn't cheap. It wasn't expensive, either, but you're broke. Weed's been legal since the Stoner Uprising of 2087, so there's no need to keep it hidden inside your mattress, or up your rear end, or wherever you sick freaks hide your drugs.

You haven't gotten around to getting any chrome grafted on yet, aside from a mop of volcanic neon red PlastiHair that you regret more and more each day. You could probably find someone to help you out with your other wetware schemes, though. The official, sterile clinics are pretty expensive, but you've heard good things about tetanus-riddled alley surgeons. Of course, you'd still need to get the implants themselves...

You make your way out of your bathroom, grabbing a slice of leftover pizza off the floor, along with your Obelisk - a smooth, black device that the citizens of the Inner System use to hold and transfer their money. Think of it like a debit card, but cooler. Yours seems to have $250 on it. A weirdly rounded number for someone who apparently uses vodka as a sleep medicine.

Sat on your desk, on the other side of your apartment, is your terminal - A Pernell-Harris Cyberlance. Nothing too fancy, but a fairly decent mid-range term. Of course, that's bottlenecked by the fact you don't have a jack - you're stuck to running via the trode net dangling off the edge of the desk, for now. Electrodes, by nature, have much more input lag than plugging an interface cable directly into your nervous system.

Lieutenant Dan
Oct 27, 2009

Weedlord Bonerhitler


I would like to see what happens if we hook ourselves up to all those electrodes and download some extremely buggy upgrades to ourselves. Maybe like a Bonzi Buddy

Mozi
Apr 4, 2004


here he comes
and he's gone again


Nap Ghost

Need to fix that hair - maybe we can melt it to a better shape using the oven?

hbag
Feb 13, 2021

piss lord




Well, you can't download any updates to your body, not yet at least - You've got barely any cyberware. You can, however, install some programs on your terminal.

You sit down at your desk and slip the hood of the trode net over your head, just about covering everything important. You smack the CONNECT button, and a sickening, falling sensation overcomes you as your perspective shifts inward, the retro-futurist clacking of hard disks spooling up just about audible. Once you're lucid again, your surroundings seem to have been replaced by a staticy, infinite void with a neon-green grid visible beneath your feet. You're in the MetaNet - A network of computer networks that's used for everything from grey-market wetware sales to planning corporate galas and video games. Of course, because you're completely detached from your real-world senses, you won't be able to tell what your physical body's carrying until you jack out. You quickly run ls ~/bin and see what software you're running with - just to make sure your hangover didn't gently caress your memory too badly.

pre:
  NAME        TYPE       SIZE        VERSION     DESC
metaav.ex     UTIL       40SU          1.0       metanet avatar config
zippo.ex      ICEB       2.5KS         1.1       \/\/arezKlan ZIPPO icebreaker
kevlar.ex     PICE       1.5KS         1.1       kevlar personal ice - keeping you safe since 2054

Total disk space (this partition): 25GS
Free: 24.9GS

AshanaCratolus
Feb 26, 2021


Edit: Nvm that posted right as you did.

What does the first one on the list do

AshanaCratolus fucked around with this message at 04:51 on Mar 3, 2021

hbag
Feb 13, 2021

piss lord




AshanaCratolus posted:

Should hook up to the terminal so we can look up how to get a better hair job.

ya just did doofus

AshanaCratolus
Feb 26, 2021


hbag posted:

ya just did doofus

Yeah i posted right as you posted smh

Bronze Fonz
Feb 14, 2019






Terminal, do you have any new dancers for me today?

finalellipsis
Mar 23, 2008

You don't own space, so stop acting like you do.


eat dopestik

Tip
Mar 21, 2006

Your move, creep.



Hey, just so you guys know, there's also a CYOA happening in The 1000 Page Thread.

Ours is run by AI.

Here's a small sample:






hbag
Feb 13, 2021

piss lord




Tip posted:

Hey, just so you guys know, there's also a CYOA happening in The 1000 Page Thread.

Ours is run by AI.

Here's a small sample:



thanks for trying to poach my players, i guess?

Tip
Mar 21, 2006

Your move, creep.



hbag posted:

thanks for trying to poach my players, i guess?

I don't think anyone is going to stop going to your thread just because there's a second game in another thread.

Just figured people in here might enjoy what we're doing over there but not know about it.

hbag
Feb 13, 2021

piss lord




Tip posted:

I don't think anyone is going to stop going to your thread just because there's a second game in another thread.

Just figured people in here might enjoy what we're doing over there but not know about it.

fair, i guess

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Meme Poker Party
Sep 1, 2006

THIS NEW AV WILL LET ME POST LIZARD TITS TWICE AS EFFICIENTLY!

IT'S GIVING ME A FUCKING BONER RIGHT NOW!


Tip seems to me like the kinda guy who just gets really excited. So I don't doubt his motive, however imo it is somewhat bad form.


Let's have fun it. Can we use our HACKER SOFTWARE to screw with the shuttle or otherwise play a prank?

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