It's our chance do the dance at the Space Jam (SEQUEL INCOMING)

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > The Sci-Fi Wi-Fi > It's our chance do the dance at the Space Jam (SEQUEL INCOMING)

reignofevil: Nov 7, 2008; Sometimes you gotta break the rules.

Everybody else is talking about it including several large news organizations please drop your hot takes about the seminal science fiction piece known as "Space Jam" here for the world to see.

# ? Mar 5, 2021 17:07

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# ? Apr 17, 2021 09:04

Fantastic Foreskin: Jan 6, 2013; A golden helix streaked skyward from the Helvault. A thunderous explosion shattered the silver monolith and Avacyn emerged, free from her prison at last.

Wrex Ruckus posted:

https://twitter.com/DiscussingFilm/status/1367598700743299072

will they pay a visit to Neo New York?

# ? Mar 5, 2021 19:23

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; #RXT REVOLUTION~!
2000

SHAKE IT

QUAKE IT

SPACE KABOOM!

# ? Mar 5, 2021 21:16

Cease to Hope: Dec 12, 2011; the forum where people post about insurance in case they have to kill someone is mad at this guy again lol

will it be able to live up to the space jam legacy of quality entertainment

# ? Mar 6, 2021 03:19

Edgar Allen Ho: Apr 3, 2017; Quoth James Cameron,

"Nevermore"

I hear a lot of the usual suspects are pissed that the cartoon rabbit wears a sports bra now

# ? Mar 7, 2021 13:07

David D. Davidson: Nov 17, 2012; Orca lady?

Edgar Allen Ho posted:

I hear a lot of the usual suspects are pissed that the cartoon rabbit wears a sports bra now

They're just shitheel chuds being shitheel chuds. Truth is they changed her design like a decade ago and they didn't gripe about it then.

Also no more Pepe LePew too.

# ? Mar 8, 2021 16:04

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; #RXT REVOLUTION~!
2000

David D. Davidson posted:

They're just shitheel chuds being shitheel chuds. Truth is they changed her design like a decade ago and they didn't gripe about it then.

Also no more Pepe LePew too.

Yeah they did. I remember what the online discourse was like when The Looney Tunes Show came out, and it was not pretty.

# ? Mar 8, 2021 16:54

reignofevil: Nov 7, 2008; Sometimes you gotta break the rules.

Pepe LePew just has to be gone.

# ? Mar 8, 2021 17:22

FunkyAl: Mar 28, 2010; Your vitals soar.

Would anyone like to read the outline for this I wrote a couple years ago and registered with the guild?

# ? Mar 9, 2021 14:16

Vizuyos: Jun 17, 2020; Thank U for reading

If you hated it...
FUCK U and never come back

Sanguinia posted:

Yeah they did. I remember what the online discourse was like when The Looney Tunes Show came out, and it was not pretty.

I hate that this is a sentence that anyone anywhere has ever felt the need to type

# ? Mar 9, 2021 15:03

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; #RXT REVOLUTION~!
2000

Vizuyos posted:

I hate that this is a sentence that anyone anywhere has ever felt the need to type

We live in a society

# ? Mar 9, 2021 15:12

reignofevil: Nov 7, 2008; Sometimes you gotta break the rules.

FunkyAl posted:

Would anyone like to read the outline for this I wrote a couple years ago and registered with the guild?

Yeah I'll read it. Jam that space right into me.

# ? Mar 9, 2021 18:37

FunkyAl: Mar 28, 2010; Your vitals soar.

quote:

The Looney Tunes are out of Money! After years of unemployment, their community has become dilapidated, they are themselves tired, stuck in a rut. When the last habitable building is destroyed by a gentle summer breeze, they decide to challenge Moron Mountain to a �Million Dollar Rematch� In order to raise funds for the community. Unknown to them, Moron Mountain is also broke, and accepts the challenge based on the flimsy pretense that our heroes will be able to pay up.

Bugs Bunny, gruff, in a wheelchair, has been spending the last few years relaxing from his book tour in the cigarette smoking hospital. Being in such poor health, he does not play and instead takes on the role of gruff, aging coach. (Think Mickey from Rocky) In his stead, Daffy Duck is named team captain, irritating an already stressed and likely more capable Lola Bunny. Daffy spends practice cajoling the team into producing the most elaborate halftime show ever produced. Sylvester Cat is on his eighth life, and his son Sylvester Jr. joins the team to make sure he doesn�t hurt himself too badly. To afford expensive basketball shoes and equipment, Foghorn Leghorn has to advertise for KFC. And as a final insult, The Tazmanian Devil has been traded to the Monstars, in his place a small and talentless Nerdluck.

Seeing the monumental problems, Lola travels alone to the �Real� world, poses as a limo driver, and kidnaps Lebron James. Lebron James is vocally unhappy about the situation and despite the fact he agrees to help them play he is vocally and outwardly grumpy to have been forced into this adventure with the Looney Tunes. (�I hate it here! This cartoon world. I am a human man, with bones and failings! I belong out there, with them!�)

After a little more practice, the day of the game approaches. The site of the game: MARS. The Looney Tunes all gather together on a ship that Tweety Bird has constructed out of old birdcages. The journey to Mars is portrayed as a light operatic sequence, highlighting the grandeur of space, while also featuring a chase on the outside of the ship between Tasmanian Devil, who has hitched a ride by hanging onto the outside of the ship, and Bugs Bunny, who has been sent outside to fix it.

The gang arrives on Mars and are excitedly welcomed by the impoverished natives, decked out in Looney Tunes attire, waving flags and plush dolls. A parade procession gathers around them and whisks them to the gates of the Imperial Martian Palace, where they and the adjoining Monstars are greeted by the Martian Empress and her loyal consort, Marvin. A grand feast is thrown in their honor, and they are escorted to private rooms the night before the game.

In the course of the night, a mysterious melody can be heard emanating from somewhere within the walls. Daffy and Lola individually wake to investigate the noise, run into each other, and begin exploring together. They are close to the source when an alien creature wandering the halls spots and begins to chase them. The sequence is like a parody of a hammer horror film. After they dispatch of him in an archetypical, Looney Tunes Fashion, they discover the noise has stopped and are escorted by Marvin the Martian back to their rooms. Concurrently, Sylvester and Son hear the noise and investigate on their own. Instead of finding the source, they eavesdrop on a conversation between Swakhammer and the Martian Empress, a discussion about the production and rights to the merchandise being produced as a result of the game. The pair sneak away before they are caught.

The Game begins, at the Porky Pig Memorial Stadium. As expected, the Looney Tunes perform poorly, becoming distracted and flustered by the team's disorganization. Lebron is carrying them. Taz keeps trying to eat Bugs, and the referee will not call a penalty. Daffy is unaffected, focused only on halftime. As the second quarter ends, the lights dim, and the halftime "play within a play" commences. The the surprise of everyone, the show is beautiful, orchestrated almost flawlessly, consisting of an operatic segment, a Romeo and Juliet style-romantic soliloquy, and a guest appearance by the Gorillaz. The piece ends with a grand fireworks display that destroys the set and sets the sprinklers off in the stadium. Wet and dejected, the team returns to the locker room. Daffy is elated, but he is alone. Lola chews him out and the team begins to leave. Daffy holds Lola back, apologizes, and names her the rightful team captain.

The game commences and the team mounts a comeback. Taz has not stopped chasing Bugs, and as the fourth quarter commences he chases bugs into the rafters. Their chase stops as they begin to hear the same melody from the castle the night before. They discover a room full of screens, wires, and lights: it's an elaborate computer. As they try to communicate with it, Taz is accidentally absorbed into the mainframe, creating the "TAZ 9000" computer, a chaotic, powerful being that begins to wreak all sorts of havoc, starting with the weather controls in the game below. A hurricane whips up, and Daffy must fly Lola through the storm in order to score the winning basket.

As Bugs fights and attempts to dismantle Taz 9000, he is vaulted through a field of increasingly chaotic abstractions and situations as reality begins to devolve around him. The game in turn becomes more wild and abstract, computer glitches begin to abound and the film begins to lose characters, background elements and consistency. Daffy is knocked out of the sky by an errant 3D model from "Happy Feet," and Lola must lift herself up with her ears to dunk the final ball, nothing left of her and the world but a pencil drawing, moments before Bugs pierces the heart of the TAZ computer. The computer explodes and reveals a hole in the ceiling of the stadium, where sunlight begins streaming through. Documents, files, electronic shrapnel begins filtering down. The contract Swakhammer signed falls to Sylvester's feet, where it is revealed Swakhammer has attempted to sign the rights to the Looney Tunes themselves to him, hidden in the form of their merchandising rights. The Martian Queen is furious and escorts him away, once again leaving the Monstars a newfound freedom. Lola finds Daffy's still body and begins to recussitate him, before he wakes and it turns into a kiss. Porky Pig, who had been dead, runs onto the screen and declares, "That's All Folks!"

There ya go...We'll see whose is better, this summer

# ? Mar 9, 2021 21:55

Who What Now: Sep 10, 2006; In the cheery brightness of the 41st millennium there is only CHRISTMAS SPIRIT!

I'd get high with a bunch of friends and watch that, sure.

# ? Mar 10, 2021 01:30

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

Ngl if someone at Time Warner manages to smuggle a reference to a "Chaos Dunk" in there and I'd be very happy.

# ? Mar 11, 2021 02:42

nine-gear crow: Aug 10, 2013; low vis

reignofevil posted:

Pepe LePew just has to be gone.

Even as a kid I always hated the Pepe LePew shorts and found them really awkward and uncomfortable. So... good?

# ? Mar 12, 2021 02:55

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; #RXT REVOLUTION~!
2000

I don't think its impossible to update the joke and just make him "French Heart-throb who's into PDA," without the "romanticizing sexual aggression and assault," bit. Just leave the poor cat alone and give him a consensual partner who puts him in his place when he takes it too far. Make it a Gomez Addams and Morticia thing.

# ? Mar 12, 2021 04:19

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

Sanguinia posted:

I don't think its impossible to update the joke and just make him "French Heart-throb who's into PDA," without the "romanticizing sexual aggression and assault," bit. Just leave the poor cat alone and give him a consensual partner who puts him in his place when he takes it too far. Make it a Gomez Addams and Morticia thing.

Not only does this diffuse the whole "making Pepe a martyr" thing but:

1. We're starved for good Gomez/Morticia dynamics anyway.
2. You get a cool new marketable character to make toys out of.
3. You double-dog dare anyone to actually out and say "I prefer Pepe le Pew when he's a pushy sexual predator."
4. It sounds like it could actually be modern and funny.

# ? Mar 12, 2021 05:17

Cease to Hope: Dec 12, 2011; the forum where people post about insurance in case they have to kill someone is mad at this guy again lol

https://twitter.com/zuza_real/status/1378397272740872197

# ? Apr 6, 2021 05:06

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; #RXT REVOLUTION~!
2000

Space Jam 2 looks suspiciously like Ready Player 1

# ? Apr 12, 2021 17:21

karmicknight: Aug 21, 2011; EEEEEEEY YO

Sanguinia posted:

Space Jam 2 looks suspiciously like Ready Player 1

It would be Ready Player 6.

# ? Apr 12, 2021 22:27

Big Beef City: Aug 15, 2013

I'm pretty worried that the good guys won't be able to win a second time re: this space jam

# ? Apr 12, 2021 22:42

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; #RXT REVOLUTION~!
2000

Big Beef City posted:

I'm pretty worried that the good guys won't be able to win a second time re: this space jam

I see through your low-key insult of The G.O.A.T King James, and do not appreciate it

# ? Apr 14, 2021 06:20

Bogus Adventure: Jan 11, 2017; More like "Bulges Adventure"

Forget about that lady rabbit, I'm gonna gently caress that duck!

# ? Apr 14, 2021 06:39

mysterious frankie: Jan 11, 2009; This displeases Dev- ..van. Shut up.

It�s technically a Space Jelly because they strain the space pulp and space peels out with cheesecloth before jarring.

# ? Apr 14, 2021 22:08

Big Beef City: Aug 15, 2013

What if labron tears a patella or something and they agree that without their clear set piece player the team can begin resting starters and looking to the draft and trade deadlines for next season and hope they still have a season or two before the window closes?

# ? Apr 15, 2021 00:08

Sanguinia: Jan 1, 2012; #RXT REVOLUTION~!
2000

Big Beef City posted:

What if labron tears a patella or something and they agree that without their clear set piece player the team can begin resting starters and looking to the draft and trade deadlines for next season and hope they still have a season or two before the window closes?

I think the real question is when the Sports Radio jocks are going to start talking about how nobody wants to see the Tune Squad repeat and what a Cinderella story it would be if the Monstars made it out of the Final Four instead.

# ? Apr 15, 2021 01:22

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# ? Apr 17, 2021 09:04

Stairmaster: Jun 8, 2012; nope just me lain

Why should pepe le pew be brought back when johnny bravo is languishing in obscurity

# ? Apr 17, 2021 05:33

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > The Sci-Fi Wi-Fi > It's our chance do the dance at the Space Jam (SEQUEL INCOMING)