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Rockman Reserve posted:oh also i've posted about this before but one time i was taking a dump in a restroom at the mall and the door on the stall didn't lock very securely and a distressed elderly asian man burst into the bathroom, banged open the stall door and took a huge disgusting diarrhea foam geyser poo poo on the wall next to me as i was freaking out trying to finish and get the gently caress out of there Did you ask what that smell like
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Mar 8, 2021 19:36
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| # ? Apr 19, 2024 08:27 |
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One winter day, snow everywhere very picturesque, I took a stroll through the park to see if I could spot some interesting birds. I come to a bench where someone has cleared half the seat and on the cleared bit placed a large pillow, I think its fabric is some sort of red velvet. On the pillow sits a cat, all alone. I did not meet anyone else duing my trip around the park.
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Mar 8, 2021 19:50
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you met a witch op
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Mar 8, 2021 19:55
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Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:Did you ask what that smell like brother i did not need to ask e: it smelled like vile evil poo poo
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Mar 8, 2021 20:12
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Rockman Reserve posted:brother i did not need to ask I would have thanked him
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Mar 8, 2021 20:23
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When I was in my early teens my father and I would play pool every Friday afternoon. He was pretty decent and I was a child so he gave me a handicap. We played 8 ball, so after sides were determined he would take three of my balls off the table. We played like this for years and every weekend he would utterly smash me, usually something like 8-1 or 9-0. Fast forward almost a decade and I'm in a bar across the country haggling with a guy over a pool match. I became a decent player myself for a while and the guy wants weight if we're going to play for cash. Me, never having played for anything over $20 before and completely over my head, mentions the three balls off the table thing. Unexpectedly my opponent takes great offense. "What am I, a loving shmuck? Did I come down the river of a bicycle? Kid thinks I'm a moron! That's the oldest trick in the book!" I very earnestly explained that was how my dad gave me a handicap and I wasn't trying to gently caress him. The guy laughs at me. "Well your dad made you into a decent player but he didn't give you any brains. He was hustling you. Taking your balls off the table gave him more room to move the cue ball around and made it easier to run out." Now I had been playing pool for a decade and this had never occurred to me, but it in fact made perfect loving sense. After I lost the match I scuttled home and when I called my father, accusing him of hustling his own son for years and causing much frustration, he cackled like a loon for a solid 30 seconds, told me "Life's a bitch ain't it?" and hung up. I ended up beating him 12-1 a couple years later and he wouldn't talk to me for a few days.
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Mar 8, 2021 20:55
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I stopped at a truck stop to take a leak and there were two truckers in there. One was in the stall and the other was at the urinal next to me. Trucker in the stall starts grunting and taking a noisy poo poo. Other trucker says in a concerned southern drawl “diarrhea?”. Guy in the stall answers “yep”. I had to stifle my laughter as I was washing my hands and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Years later I was telling this story to my friend and he stopped me, and laughing he said dude what in the hell are you talking about? That didn’t happen to you, that happened to me. You stole my story! I couldn’t believe what I was hearing and we argued about it for a bit because I clearly remembered the “Diarrhea? Yep.” exchange. As my friend retold his version, which occurred in a mall restroom, not a truck stop, I realized he could recall way more specific details of when and where this happened. He could tell me what the guy looked like. The more I thought about it, the more I realized he was right. Somehow over the years I had convinced myself that a story my friend told me was something that happened to me. It actually frightened me that I could give myself a false memory like that. Even after conceding that I did not witness the diarrhea buddies I still felt like I remembered it. I wondered what other memories I carry around that could in fact be someone else’s.
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Mar 8, 2021 20:56
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Ralph Hurley posted:I stopped at a truck stop to take a leak and there were two truckers in there. One was in the stall and the other was at the urinal next to me. Trucker in the stall starts grunting and taking a noisy poo poo. Other trucker says in a concerned southern drawl “diarrhea?”. Guy in the stall answers “yep”. I had to stifle my laughter as I was washing my hands and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. i've been meaning to bring this up for a while but it's loving weird that you keep coming to my house and acting like you're part of our family. yes, i do remember timmy's birthday party with the clown. no, you weren't there. stop it.
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Mar 8, 2021 20:58
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Ralph Hurley posted:I stopped at a truck stop to take a leak and there were two truckers in there. One was in the stall and the other was at the urinal next to me. Trucker in the stall starts grunting and taking a noisy poo poo. Other trucker says in a concerned southern drawl “diarrhea?”. Guy in the stall answers “yep”. I had to stifle my laughter as I was washing my hands and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I did the same thing but way younger. When I was like 7 my class on a field trip to to some park/trail in the desert and a snake charged at a classmate but years later I had somehow jumbled the memory up so bad that I thought it happened to me brains are a gently caress
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Mar 8, 2021 21:03
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Ralph Hurley posted:I stopped at a truck stop to take a leak and there were two truckers in there. One was in the stall and the other was at the urinal next to me. Trucker in the stall starts grunting and taking a noisy poo poo. Other trucker says in a concerned southern drawl “diarrhea?”. Guy in the stall answers “yep”. I had to stifle my laughter as I was washing my hands and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. The Reading Steiner ability is both a blessing and a curse.
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Mar 8, 2021 21:03
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Critical posted:When I was in my early teens my father and I would play pool every Friday afternoon. He was pretty decent and I was a child so he gave me a handicap. We played 8 ball, so after sides were determined he would take three of my balls off the table. We played like this for years and every weekend he would utterly smash me, usually something like 8-1 or 9-0. This is great lol.
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Mar 8, 2021 21:14
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Ralph Hurley posted:I stopped at a truck stop to take a leak and there were two truckers in there. One was in the stall and the other was at the urinal next to me. Trucker in the stall starts grunting and taking a noisy poo poo. Other trucker says in a concerned southern drawl “diarrhea?”. Guy in the stall answers “yep”. I had to stifle my laughter as I was washing my hands and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Here's an excellent podcast on exactly that: http://revisionisthistory.com/episodes/24-free-brian-williams The mind is weird
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Mar 8, 2021 21:15
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once when i and my family were visiting a lake in Austria when i was four or five, my brother and i were playing in the shallow water, and a little remote-controlled boat approached and started shooting spouts of water at me. i guess it was a toy fire-boat? anyway this annoyed me greatly and i ran out of the lake. then it started to rain, and i was cold, wet, and sad, and started crying on the beach. so of course my dad took a picture. apparently some Austrian remote boat enthusiast got a kick out of spraying a kid, because my mom told me that he approached later and apologized, he thought i would laugh and have fun with it
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Mar 8, 2021 21:38
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Rockman Reserve posted:oh also i've posted about this before but one time i was taking a dump in a restroom at the mall and the door on the stall didn't lock very securely and a distressed elderly asian man burst into the bathroom, banged open the stall door and took a huge disgusting diarrhea foam geyser poo poo on the wall next to me as i was freaking out trying to finish and get the gently caress out of there whoa man that'd be crazy
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Mar 10, 2021 14:11
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Rockman Reserve posted:oh also i've posted about this before but one time i was taking a dump in a restroom at the mall and the door on the stall didn't lock very securely and a distressed elderly asian man burst into the bathroom, banged open the stall door and took a huge disgusting diarrhea foam geyser poo poo on the wall next to me as i was freaking out trying to finish and get the gently caress out of there The mental image of this made me bust out laughing while I myself was making GBS threads
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Mar 10, 2021 14:15
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I was born, I lived, I died. My grave is filled with treasure.
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Mar 10, 2021 14:15
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Dumb Sex-Parrot posted:I once dug a hole that's still visible on google earth. Your mom sounds cool op
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Mar 10, 2021 16:06
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When I was a kid I broke boards and bricks and poo poo in karate class and was on my way to becoming the 2nd or 3rd youngest black belt in my entire US state in Tae Kwon Do when my instructor had to flee back to his country. There is no way I'd do any of that poo poo now. (this one is true, and weird and I really could do cool karate poo poo it was neat)
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Mar 10, 2021 16:13
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Big Beef City posted:When I was a kid I broke boards and bricks and poo poo in karate class and was on my way to becoming the 2nd or 3rd youngest black belt in my entire US state in Tae Kwon Do when my instructor had to flee back to his country. Uh what did your instructor do?
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Mar 10, 2021 16:20
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e: forget it, I'm being a dick at someone for no reason
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Mar 10, 2021 17:03
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I have a second seagull story. Backpacking in the Sierra Nevada's of California. I and 3 friends are spending the morning fishing, spread out around the pristine high mountain lake. Hunting the fish, seeing what we could catch. A friend about 50 yards from me makes a cast, and a seagull swoops down and grabs the lure mid-air. There is a hooked/barbed lure in its beak, and it is trying to fly away. My friend is holding onto his fishing pole because he doesn't want to lose it, and there is a flapping bird on the other end still flying around. He is holding the pole, and 50' out in the air is a bird trying to fly away. He literally had a bird on a string flying around. He is freaking out, the bird is freaking out, and all I can think of is to yell "Reel it in!" I figure I'll smother it with my shirt or something and get the hook out. He is literally reeling in a flying bird and thank god the lure fell loose and the bird flew off. It was pretty surreal to see a flying bird on the end of a fishing line.
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Mar 10, 2021 17:57
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