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reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


Sometimes you gotta break the rules.


I'm happy with this sexy new direction in science fiction.

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Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

More like "Bulges Adventure"

Sci-Fi really stands for "Sexy Fantasies"

The "ci" is invisible.

Lemniscate Blue
Apr 21, 2006

Here we go again.

Enterprise was the horniest Trek. I'm not convinced that makes it the sexiest.

Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

~this is me posting irl~


sexiest is TOS

Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

~this is me posting irl~


i think trek 09 is a dumb movie and i absolutely loathe the bullshit origin story concept* of "here's the epic story of how our epic hero team got together for the very first time, epicly", but i grudgingly grit my teeth and just say "yeah it's good i guess" because a lot of people like it and i don't want to be completely That Trek Nerd


Into Darkness is just bad and doesn't make sense though, i genuinely think it's second-worst only to Nemesis. though unlike Nemesis i could possibly see a rewrite salvaging it into a good movie.


Beyond was the best of the three (even if i still disagree with some of the decisions) to the point where i was kind of interested to see what a fourth movie would look like, until i heard they were optioning chris hemsworth; why the gently caress are the new movies all about kirk's daddy issues?




*yes, i know harve bennett wanted to do this as a 'starfleet academy' movie as the sixth trek movie. i think Paramount was correct to shitcan it. also it's not just star trek, i think origin stories were way overdone, and i still delight in the RDJ sherlock holmes movie not being a loving origin story

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

More like "Bulges Adventure"


This is undeniably true

Lemniscate Blue
Apr 21, 2006

Here we go again.

Bogus Adventure posted:

This is undeniably true



Lookit that poo poo-eating grin.

Isometric Bacon
Jul 24, 2004

Let's get naked!

My favourite part of the 2009 movie is when the Enterprise comes across the huge ship devouring giant mining warship hybrid thing full of genocidal Romulans, and Pike, recently warping into a scene of destruction, opens up a channel of communication to sternly ask 'this is Christopher Pike of the USS Enterprise. Who am I speaking to?'

To which crazed psychopath Eric Bana pleasantly replies "Hi Christopher. I'm Nero."

FunkyAl
Mar 28, 2010

Your vitals soar.


TOS is certainly sexier than Enterprise, but it isn't a star trek prequel! That's a paradox.

It IS sexier than the star wars prequels however, where the only act of sex happens implied in a cartoon

Barudak
May 7, 2007



My memory of the first JJ Trek is the opening sequence writes an emotional check the rest of the film can't cash much less remember it has.

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

More like "Bulges Adventure"

Chris Pine does his best to carry it, though. Dude sells everything, including getting his rear end kicked.

Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

~this is me posting irl~


FunkyAl posted:

TOS is certainly sexier than Enterprise, but it isn't a star trek prequel!

at no point did fellow forums poster Lemniscate Blue make mention of prequels:

Lemniscate Blue posted:

Enterprise was the horniest Trek. I'm not convinced that makes it the sexiest.

Filthy Hans
Jun 27, 2008





Isometric Bacon posted:

My favourite part of the 2009 movie is when the Enterprise comes across the huge ship devouring giant mining warship hybrid thing full of genocidal Romulans, and Pike, recently warping into a scene of destruction, opens up a channel of communication to sternly ask 'this is Christopher Pike of the USS Enterprise. Who am I speaking to?'

To which crazed psychopath Eric Bana pleasantly replies "Hi Christopher. I'm Nero."

the one scene that really stuck out to me was when Eric Bana's evil spaceship was destroying Romulus or w/e and it was a planetary genocide and they had sad music for a few seconds, then cut to Chris Pine's Kirk and he has comically large hands and he's mugging for the camera and he's trying to pick things up but his hands are overinflated and there's a funny undertone to the music then they cut to more planetary genocide, the planet's mantle is exposed and children with pointy ears are falling into the crevasse and cut to Kirk and he just can't seem to get that door open his hands are too thick to operate the handle how funny cut to faces of crewmembers sobbing as they impotently watch the demise of billions cut to Chris Pine he's so frustrated now there's smoke coming out of his ears now we're back to the sturm und drang of genocide and back and forth for a few more minutes


that's what I remember about JJTrek

nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013

low vis





TOS was also the sexist Trek at times

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

More like "Bulges Adventure"

nine-gear crow posted:

TOS was also the sexist Trek at times

Yeah, but not nearly as sexist as Enterprise when you consider the times they were written in.

nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013

low vis




Bogus Adventure posted:

Yeah, but not nearly as sexist as Enterprise when you consider the times they were written in.

Also true.

But seriously Turnabout Intruder and its A-plot of "Starfleet won't let me captain a starship because I don't have a penis, so I'm gonna steal Kirk's" is REALLY loving up there.

FunkyAl
Mar 28, 2010

Your vitals soar.


Farmer Crack-rear end posted:

at no point did fellow forums poster Lemniscate Blue make mention of prequels:

I'm sorry, but it's a prequels only thread in here. My hands are tied. The only TOS episodes we can talk about are "the Cage" and "trials and tribbleations"

We can talk about O' Brien in the war.

BiggestBatman
Aug 23, 2018


nine-gear crow posted:

Also true.

But seriously Turnabout Intruder and its A-plot of "Starfleet won't let me captain a starship because I don't have a penis, so I'm gonna steal Kirk's" is REALLY loving up there.

That's actually a pretty badass way to respond to getting discriminated against

VinylonUnderground
Dec 14, 2020
Probation
Can't post for 3 days!


When Star Trek was first created the Space Race and the Sexual Revolution were in full swing. The possibilities for the future were endless and bright. There was also the Cold War and the constant threat of nuclear annihilation. But the only thing holding humanity back was humanity. Hell, the Cuban Missile Crisis, terrifying as it was, was a clear example that if well-intentioned people just spoke to each other they could solve anything.

Now we live in a weird cyberpunk dystopia. I can get Logan's Run-type sex through my phone but few people call that liberating. There's an app literally called Grindr because it is all a bit of a grind. They've also destroyed cultural centers like bars -- even before Covid gay bars were dying as cultural centers because apps give the sex without the community. There are no well-intentioned people either. Who can sit down to stop global warming? It's a multipolar world where responsibility has been diffused to so many different heads of state and CEOs that no one can make it stop even if we all see where the train is going. And our differences aren't just ideological. It isn't Communism vs Capitalism. Look at Covid. It's insane conspiracy poo poo where people roll coal and will infect themselves with deadly diseases to "own the libs".

How do you go from where Star Trek started to now? How does the vision of Star Trek make sense today?

nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013

low vis




BiggestBatman posted:

That's actually a pretty badass way to respond to getting discriminated against

I mean, also she steals the rest of Kirk to get to his penis AND goes crazy because his man brain is just too powerful for her. So it doesn't exactly work out in practice...

FunkyAl
Mar 28, 2010

Your vitals soar.


I am now "live" blogging what I'm noticing about into darkness.

So far it appears to be about directing. Pike keeps yelling that kirk isn't responsible for "the chair" because he breaks the rules.

When they're walking to pike in their SS uniforms, Kirk asks who else they would send on a five year mission. The background and foreground are full of uniformed cadets. He hits on some lady SS officers.

In Pike's office there's a weird long TV with like Fox news and some graphs and a stock ticker. He doesn't turn this off to yell at kirk and spock.

FunkyAl
Mar 28, 2010

Your vitals soar.


I forgot Mickey form doctor who set up the blood thing with kirk! There's that.

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

More like "Bulges Adventure"

You should take a drink every time a reference to a past Star Trek thing is mentioned out of context and never explained.

Like when Benedict reveals that he. Is. KHAN!!!

FunkyAl
Mar 28, 2010

Your vitals soar.


Bogus Adventure posted:

You should take a drink every time a reference to a past Star Trek thing is mentioned out of context and never explained.

Like when Benedict reveals that he. Is. KHAN!!!

So far it's more visual references to star wars and robocop

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

More like "Bulges Adventure"

FunkyAl posted:

So far it's more visual references to star wars and robocop

I like where Peter Weller glowers at Kirk and says, "Dead or alive, you're coming with me." And then turns and winks right at the camera.

Wait, maybe that was a dream.

FunkyAl
Mar 28, 2010

Your vitals soar.


The klingon post is lit like seti alpha six and the klingon taking a mask off is a reference to kahn doing so. The earlier mention of klingons, who robocop is starting a war with, is that they have conquered two empires and attacked earth ships "half a dozen" times. The city they fly to resembles a denser depiction of the film's san francisco. But importantly, they are also some sort of old sacred ruin.

In this universe, O' Brien is never born, because his grandfather dies fighting a kligon with a knife.

FunkyAl
Mar 28, 2010

Your vitals soar.


Him punching kahn a lot is a 2001 reference. not a great one, but theres a big rock and whistling and primates fighting. The fight scene is really not bad, it's like they're just in a labyrinth and kirk (and you) begins to see why not to incite a war. Every step of the way the characters are like "don't start a war moron" but he proceeds. That's also good.

FunkyAl
Mar 28, 2010

Your vitals soar.


Incidentally, as a bunch of red shirts are escorting kahn, there is a huge red lens flare, cut to the next shot of the same, and there is a man carrying a large red light in the foreground. We see carol marcus (who lives) and a blue light flashes.

FunkyAl
Mar 28, 2010

Your vitals soar.



More 2001!

Fantastic Foreskin
Jan 6, 2013

A golden helix streaked skyward from the Helvault. A thunderous explosion shattered the silver monolith and Avacyn emerged, free from her prison at last.



Hot drat into darkness was a boring and forgettable movie.

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

More like "Bulges Adventure"

It has one good segment

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ldxE2DLZ-tA

The movie should have stopped there

FunkyAl
Mar 28, 2010

Your vitals soar.


I haven't watched this in ten years but I'm enjoying it more than I remember. I don't think Most of the references add up to much more than a fluffy action movie but it ain't bad on those terms.

Up Circle
Apr 3, 2008


VinylonUnderground posted:

When Star Trek was first created the Space Race and the Sexual Revolution were in full swing. The possibilities for the future were endless and bright. There was also the Cold War and the constant threat of nuclear annihilation. But the only thing holding humanity back was humanity. Hell, the Cuban Missile Crisis, terrifying as it was, was a clear example that if well-intentioned people just spoke to each other they could solve anything.

Now we live in a weird cyberpunk dystopia. I can get Logan's Run-type sex through my phone but few people call that liberating. There's an app literally called Grindr because it is all a bit of a grind. They've also destroyed cultural centers like bars -- even before Covid gay bars were dying as cultural centers because apps give the sex without the community. There are no well-intentioned people either. Who can sit down to stop global warming? It's a multipolar world where responsibility has been diffused to so many different heads of state and CEOs that no one can make it stop even if we all see where the train is going. And our differences aren't just ideological. It isn't Communism vs Capitalism. Look at Covid. It's insane conspiracy poo poo where people roll coal and will infect themselves with deadly diseases to "own the libs".

How do you go from where Star Trek started to now? How does the vision of Star Trek make sense today?

it appears from your second paragraph that the only thing holding back humanity is still, in fact, humanity

doing things for express goal of owning the libs is in fact, ideology.

Up Circle
Apr 3, 2008


one last fact: why can't we have star trek without gay bars? I'm a little confused by that part.

FunkyAl
Mar 28, 2010

Your vitals soar.


The thing isn't a remake of Kahn it's a remix of 2001! The end is kirk going into the same thing bowman did (red striped lights and all) and kicking the tv until it works, as opposed to breaking the spaceship. This is a joke but The film is much about how the ship functions as a body. Everything that goes wrong happens after scotty is fired, the "heart" of the enterprise is broken, and chekov can't fix it. The set is v'geresque and the camera is whipping around the pipes like as if the ship were a living organism. Since the gravity is screwy, maybe it would look like that from a fixed perspective. Kirk hasn't been mourning Pike the entire film, and here is where he lets out his anger by kicking and self-sacrifice.

Some pics:


Kirk in the (blue) discovery brain room



Kirk with little red Hal eyeballs





Woosh!


He's climbing it like a tree. It's like if at the end of 2001, a gorilla fixes the ship by hitting it with a bone. I think this is the thesis.

Yvonmukluk
Oct 10, 2012

Everything is Sinister



VinylonUnderground posted:

When Star Trek was first created the Space Race and the Sexual Revolution were in full swing. The possibilities for the future were endless and bright. There was also the Cold War and the constant threat of nuclear annihilation. But the only thing holding humanity back was humanity. Hell, the Cuban Missile Crisis, terrifying as it was, was a clear example that if well-intentioned people just spoke to each other they could solve anything.

Now we live in a weird cyberpunk dystopia. I can get Logan's Run-type sex through my phone but few people call that liberating. There's an app literally called Grindr because it is all a bit of a grind. They've also destroyed cultural centers like bars -- even before Covid gay bars were dying as cultural centers because apps give the sex without the community. There are no well-intentioned people either. Who can sit down to stop global warming? It's a multipolar world where responsibility has been diffused to so many different heads of state and CEOs that no one can make it stop even if we all see where the train is going. And our differences aren't just ideological. It isn't Communism vs Capitalism. Look at Covid. It's insane conspiracy poo poo where people roll coal and will infect themselves with deadly diseases to "own the libs".

How do you go from where Star Trek started to now? How does the vision of Star Trek make sense today?

Given that canonically there's WW3 and then the Vulcans come to help, I guess Full Posadism Now?

FunkyAl
Mar 28, 2010

Your vitals soar.


Some stuff from the end:


Whale-shaped vehicle in the background of the shot with the cable car. The Leviathan!

Neat uniforms. White blood cells? medical stormtroopers?

Lots of stuff whips by in the city chase. I don't know if it's relevant that cars have barcodes, but the sequence is very busy. The part with spock beating kahn is given a little theme similar to the pon farr fight music, which is appropriate. Very pro-punching.

Anyway, more interesting than I remembered. Worth a watch! Better star wars than the force awakens.

Lawman 0
Aug 17, 2010





Bogus Adventure posted:

Ah, I see what you mean. Enterprise is definitely the most "HEY GUYS, CHECK OUT THESE SEXY BODIES!!!" series.









It also includes an alien species where the nipples and the happy trail are mandatorily linked



That one is my favorite by far

Enterprise is genuinely incredibly embarrassing

nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013

low vis




FunkyAl posted:

Some stuff from the end:


Whale-shaped vehicle in the background of the shot with the cable car. The Leviathan!

Neat uniforms. White blood cells? medical stormtroopers?

Lots of stuff whips by in the city chase. I don't know if it's relevant that cars have barcodes, but the sequence is very busy. The part with spock beating kahn is given a little theme similar to the pon farr fight music, which is appropriate. Very pro-punching.

Anyway, more interesting than I remembered. Worth a watch! Better star wars than the force awakens.

Future cars with barcode license plates is a fairly common sci-fi trope. Back to the Future Part II had the cars in 2015 Hill Valley all having bright neon orange plates with silver paint barcodes. I do appreciate during that fight though that Khan straight up no sells the Vulcan neck pinch.

Into Darkness is a fairly serviceable movie until like it's last 20-30 minutes. Especially the part where they redo Wrath of Khan, but in reverse, then it just becomes unsalvagable until it grinds across the finish line.

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VinylonUnderground
Dec 14, 2020
Probation
Can't post for 3 days!


Up Circle posted:

it appears from your second paragraph that the only thing holding back humanity is still, in fact, humanity

doing things for express goal of owning the libs is in fact, ideology.

Yeah but how would you have a sit down discussion to solve it? Who is Kennedy and who is Khrushchev? How do you solve "owning the libs" as an ideology through discussion? TOS also had an answer for Nazis, and that's throwing some old Western-style haymakers.

But what about global warming? There is no Kennedy and no Khrushchev there. There is also no Nazi Germany nor Imperial Japan we can punch into submission. There is a rot inherent to the Neoliberal world order where these insane conspiracy theories make sense. Not because they are real but because they aren't. People want a Kennedy and a Khrushchev so they imagine a bunch of hook-nosed people in a room together conspiring to make the world a worse place. Modern Trek, post-TNG, is grappling with that issue -- even DS9 has shades of it and that is the most progressive Trek. Who causes global warming? Who made Covid? Who made the worldwide response to Covid so terrible?

If you are honest, you end up with a lot of little Eichmanns but we can't say that anymore because of 9/11.

Up Circle posted:

one last fact: why can't we have star trek without gay bars? I'm a little confused by that part.

Quoting this just because LOL.

VinylonUnderground fucked around with this message at 23:25 on Mar 16, 2021

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