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Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

This is your dagger, this is your shortsword, this ones for fighting, this ones for fun? Guys I'm feeling a little self conscious here

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Icochet
Mar 18, 2008

I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~


Grimey Drawer

I heard there'll be battlefield tapestry weavers coming with us today. I'll be wearing my nicest sabatons and I bought these sick plumes for my helmet

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com


poisonpill posted:

*teleports in wearing AI-enchanted power armor, with self-guided antipersonnel missiles and laser rifle*

Oh, man. No, no, it’s okay. I’ll go change. I didn’t realize. I thought... no, no, don’t worry about it. I didn’t know it was like just a swords thing. I’d feel like a sick just blowing everyone away in like two seconds. No, it’s fine, you know what? Maybe I’ll just sit it out today

*makes mental note to friendly fire poisonpill with a dirk and gank that poo poo the minute things get chaotic*

Mr_Companie
Jul 4, 2003

ARE YOU INTERESTED IN AN EXCITING BUISNESS OPPROTUNITY?

Few seem grateful to our Lord and Christian King for ending the dog fighting, gambling, and whoring in the camps - and it's feared some have already deserted and joined the protestants

Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD

I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me!

*my men look around at each other confused, murmuring

What I mean is if I was as scared as you then my heart would... I would lose my courage? I'm sorry I got caught up in the moment and I didn't really think about what I was saying. You guys are right it doesn't make a lick of sense.

Rascar Capac
Aug 31, 2016

Surprisingly nice, for an evil Inca mummy.

Hey guys, are you fighting hard or hardly fighting? Nah, I'm just kidding around, haha.

Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

~*Suck My Balls*~

Fun Shoe

GLAD I BROUGHT A FOOTLONG COLD CUT COMBO FOR HALFTIME!!!!

Professor Shark
May 22, 2012




Funky See Funky Do posted:

I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me!

*my men look around at each other confused, murmuring

What I mean is if I was as scared as you then my heart would... I would lose my courage? I'm sorry I got caught up in the moment and I didn't really think about what I was saying. You guys are right it doesn't make a lick of sense.

Sir, the men have been talking, sir, and your weird speeches are confusing them and they wish you’d stop even though I think they’re great... sir

Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD

Professor Shark posted:

Sir, the men have been talking, sir, and your weird speeches are confusing them and they wish you’d stop even though I think they’re great... sir

You're a good soldier private and a subtle, smooth young man.

naem
May 29, 2011



HugeGrossBurrito posted:

Shits in a ditch with 30 other dudes one of them is eating while making GBS threads

that’s how I paid for college

Xaintrailles
Aug 14, 2015



Hey everyone EVERYONE I think the gopro crashed just give me a minute to get it set up again.

Revins
Nov 2, 2007

the stars are strange and this isn't home


*deep sigh*

mondays, am I right boys?

StarkRavingMad
Sep 27, 2001





Yams Fan

Outrail posted:

Don't stop beating off or we won't know how to march okay?

Fine, but that still doesn't explain what I'm supposed to do with the drum.

Professor Shark
May 22, 2012




Funky See Funky Do posted:

You're a good soldier private and a subtle, smooth young man.

Sir, requesting permission to guard the getaway horses at the back, sir!

Ventral EggSac
Dec 3, 2019



THAT'S MY HORSE, I DON'T KNOW YOU!

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

IN THE GRIM BARKNESS
OF THE FUTURE
THERE ARE ONLY DOGS



Nap Ghost

*sweating profusely because I was supposed to call ahead and make reservations in Hell for us to dine that night but I forgot*

Revins
Nov 2, 2007

the stars are strange and this isn't home


*loudly* Boy oh boy I can't wait to try the hot wings in hell, sure am looking forward to that

Pitdragon
Jan 20, 2004
Just another lurker

Okay so we are fighting against Lothlorian Darkriders today everyone, that means you need to equip your Frostweave Armor pieces otherwise their DPS will bring you down too quickly for our healers to keep up. Make sure you are specced into either
Tooth Smash or Maniac Wallop, unless of course you are caster in which case you need to spec into Dizzy Rings or Wave Rejuvenation (for healers, obviously). At least 20 points. If I see one of you with less that hasn't put 20 points into at least one of those skill trees I'll remove you from the raid. You guys got that? Good, alright.

So when the Lothlorian Squires approach, all our front-line will activate either Cuspid Crusher if you are Tooth Smash specced or Mad Uppercut if you are Maniac Wallop specced. Once DPS has engaged, our Dizzy Ring specced casters need to start casting Fuzzy Circle, then Oblong Confusion Ray, then Iron Bands of Budero, then cycle back to Fuzzy Circle. ONLY CAST THESE SPELLS! If I see one of you casting a different spell, or casting these in the wrong order, I'll remove you from the raid. Got it? Oh, that reminds me, if you aren't a caster you should have an Amulet of Whimsy equipped. It's the best amulet for fighting Lothlorian Darkriders. Now it's not required for you to wear, for now, I know they are pretty expensive and hard to get, but if you don't have one you should be working on getting one. Again, it's not required, for NOW, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't be feeling ashamed of yourself and your lack of dedication to the group if you haven't already got one.

Okay healers, make sure you don't use any of your abilities until our front-liner's health has been reduced by at LEAST 50%. At that point, you must cast Healing Trickle on them, followed by Shimmering Shield. That's all you do here. I know some of you complain that you have dozens of other abilities to use, but that's not your call to make and if I see any of you casting any spells other than those two I'll remove you from the raid. If I see you casting them on a front-liner who hasn't been reduced to 50% health yet, you'll get a warning. If I see you do it again, I'll remove you from the raid. Mana conservation is important.

Okay so anyway, once we defeat the Lothlorian Squires we'll move on to the Lothlorian Knights in the courtyard. If I see ANY of you looting the Squires besides our designated loot collectors you will be removed from the raid and possibly the guild. So once we reach the Lothlorian Knights, first our front-liners specced with Tooth Smash will activate Incisor Adjustment, then Molar Masher, followed by...

GolfHole
Feb 26, 2004



leeroy_jenkins.mp3

Professor Shark
May 22, 2012




Guys I don’t want you to laugh or say anything but watch Brian at the front when he charges because I put a big dong on his spear and he still hasn’t noticed lol

runnypoops
Mar 26, 2016

been there. done that. prove yourself to me.

Volunteers to be the rear guard. Keeps emphasizing “rear” while suggestively wiggling my eyebrows. No one fucks me:(

GolfHole
Feb 26, 2004



ah poo poo i hosed up my animal sacrifice. can i get another?

Bad Purchase
Jun 17, 2019





Time out. I said TIMEOUT. Randy lost a contact. Everyone watch where you’re stepping. Help us look.

HORSE-SLAUGHTERER
Nov 11, 2020

H O R S E - S L A U G H T E R E R



don't look now but i can feel a sally forth coming on

ThePopeOfFun
Feb 15, 2010



Meets your gaze across the fire. Sets jaw.

******slow nod*******

PinheadSlim
Apr 2, 2015

FRIENDS for EVER

Guys I brought like 100 arrows but no bow, can someone lend me a bow I swear to god I'll give it back after war is done. Come on guys this sucks for me too there has to be an extra bow out there, I'll buy you a pizza or something jeez come on!

Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006

In the cheery brightness of the 41st millennium there is only CHRISTMAS SPIRIT!


*gets shot with an arrow that has doodoo on it*

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

Hey are you gonna finish that poo?

Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006

In the cheery brightness of the 41st millennium there is only CHRISTMAS SPIRIT!


Suck the poo poo straight out of my woundhole (so that I don't die of infection)

Ventral EggSac
Dec 3, 2019



I'm wearing a nurse's bonnet, carrying sacks full of leeches with a red cross painted on them

HAmbONE
May 11, 2004

I know where the XBox is!!

Smellrose

CHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAARRRRGGGGE!

* dies alone as everyone else chose sniper

kntfkr
Feb 11, 2019

GOOSE FUCKER


I tried to visualize myself in war recently while watching Platoon with my girl and I couldn't stop laughing because I really think I'd be yelling STOP! STOP! YOU GUYS STOP! I'M SERIOUS STOPPPPP! the whole time and then like run away from all the loud noise and probably fall into a pit full of spikes.

You're on yr own fellas.

HORSE-SLAUGHTERER
Nov 11, 2020

H O R S E - S L A U G H T E R E R

Jose
Jul 24, 2007





What's that rattle

HORSE-SLAUGHTERER
Nov 11, 2020

H O R S E - S L A U G H T E R E R

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XSEU5zHgcTc

Revins
Nov 2, 2007

the stars are strange and this isn't home


*puts on fight song, toxic by britney spears*

Ventral EggSac
Dec 3, 2019



I tentatively start singing Orinoco Flow. The rest of the battalion knows it too, and we all start singing it confidently together

Derpies
Mar 10, 2014

BORN TO AWOO
WORLD IS A TUG
Squatch Em All 1989
I am trash poster
42,069 DEAD WOLFGIRLS




I've died of dysentary ten times today really gotta stop eating all that rear end

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

You eat your fallen enemy hearts to capture their strength and bravery! Why on earth would you eat their rear end?!?

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Bad Purchase
Jun 17, 2019





to capture the nutrients leftover in their waste

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