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Who is your favorite Mario?
Mario Mario
Luigi Mario
Yellow Mario
Mario Lemieux
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The Grimace
Sep 18, 2005

Are you a BigMac of imbeciles!?
It was just yesterday, Mario Mario and his brother Luigi Mario were celebrating their 35th year on this planet. He was so full of life! I can remember it like yesterday, with him jumping around and going, "ha! Hwa! Yahooooo!"

But today is now April 1st and, like Nintendo has been saying for a nearly a year now, Mario's days were numbered.

Mario is dead.

He is survived by King Bowser, Sonic the Hedgehog, and his best friend Rayman.

Mario lived a wonderful life. Born Jump Man, he would go around terrorizing primates until he would be transported to the Mushroom Kingdom, where he would spend the rest of his days.

This is not a time to mourn, but a time to celebrate the Life of Mario!! Please join me by posting your favorite Mario-related things.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qYQTSJOlDQw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvELT5aIo9A

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_oCgefJDilg

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Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.
ha ha april fools!! nintendo got us again!!!!!!!!

My aunt works there and says this is a prank

Rutibex
Sep 9, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
yoshi died too :(
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJbS5PYQudQ

Blurry Gray Thing
Jun 3, 2009
I'm glad he's dead, OP.

EorayMel
May 30, 2015

WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Français.

The Grimace
Sep 18, 2005

Are you a BigMac of imbeciles!?

Rutibex posted:

yoshi died too :(

gently caress, I wasn't expecting 2021 to be even worse than 2020

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

Rest In Pipe, Mario

Ventral EggSac
Dec 3, 2019

I can't believe mario would do taht, disgusting

Raku
Nov 7, 2012

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.

Roll Tide
I mean he went missing in the 90s so it's hardly a surprise

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon
Mario got covid and died

BAGS FLY AT NOON
Apr 6, 2011

Mario died of an overdose of autoerotic asphyxiation.

Mooey Cow
Jan 27, 2018

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Pillbug

low key sex master posted:

ha ha april fools!! nintendo got us again!!!!!!!!

My aunt works there and says this is a prank

It's real

He's dead.

Halloween Liker
Oct 31, 2020

by Fluffdaddy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KXMnhBj4ybk

TontoCorazon
Aug 18, 2007


Colonel Cancer posted:

Mario got covid and died

Well, an italian plumber from brooklyn would be a trumper anti-mask poo poo head

Dumb Sex-Parrot
Dec 25, 2020

TontoCorazon posted:

Well, an italian plumber from brooklyn would be a trumper anti-mask poo poo head

uh, no? what the heck man :mad:

Stex T
Mar 7, 2005

Shut the fuck up and get out. Have fun being a slave of the rich and powerful.
I can't believe he survived cancer just to go out like this :( RIP (rest in power)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cW4Nir6L9kg

Halloween Liker
Oct 31, 2020

by Fluffdaddy

TontoCorazon posted:

Well, an italian plumber from brooklyn would be a trumper anti-mask poo poo head


Plumbers are Union

EorayMel
May 30, 2015

WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Français.
Luigi died while invisible and his friends couldn't find the body

BAGS FLY AT NOON
Apr 6, 2011

So, uh, does this, uh, well I guess maybe it’s kind of soon, but do you think Peach is seeing anyone?

Ventral EggSac
Dec 3, 2019

No who will I get to stomp on my goomba

Stex T
Mar 7, 2005

Shut the fuck up and get out. Have fun being a slave of the rich and powerful.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D8M8I2SYEiA

flavor.flv
Apr 18, 2008

I got a letter from the government the other day
opened it, read it
it said they was bitches




Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

Mario busted a nut so hard in Yoshi that he shouted "Mama MIA" and then collapsed dead so Luigi shot Yoshi then hung himself

TontoCorazon
Aug 18, 2007


Halloween Liker posted:

Plumbers are Union


So are cops

Full Metal Jackass
Jan 22, 2001

Rabid bats are welcome in my home
Imagine how many living creatures mario has killed. He was a monster.

Halloween Liker
Oct 31, 2020

by Fluffdaddy


Everyone knows thats a bullshit union

Ventral EggSac
Dec 3, 2019

Big Beef City posted:

Mario busted a nut so hard in Yoshi that he shouted "Mama MIA" and then collapsed dead so Luigi shot Yoshi then hung himself

all of their dongs fell off after they died and started walking around, this is what Toad is

Bad Purchase
Jun 17, 2019




RIP to a real one. He was 35 years old. Such a shame.

Only registered members can see post attachments!

Linux Pirate
Apr 21, 2012


Here lies Mario

               peperony and chease

TontoCorazon
Aug 18, 2007


Bad Purchase posted:

RIP to a real one. He was 35 years old. Such a shame.



That's a rough 35

Knormal
Nov 11, 2001


No Mario don't say that!

Mooey Cow
Jan 27, 2018

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Pillbug

Ventral EggSac posted:

all of their dongs fell off after they died and started walking around, this is what Toad is

Toad is a choad

The Grimace
Sep 18, 2005

Are you a BigMac of imbeciles!?
I remember a few years ago Nintendo was all like, "no actually Mario isn't a plumber!!" but apparently they walked that back and now he's a plumber again?

This just goes to show that we can't trust Nintendo. First they lied about his job, and then they killed him. Watch out, Link, you're next.

gleebster
Dec 16, 2006

Only a howler
Pillbug
Of course he wasn't a plumber. They were trying to protect his cover, though. But now he's dead.

And personally I never played any of those games, so I don't care.

BAGS FLY AT NOON
Apr 6, 2011

For years Mario has been begging Birdo to fire a big ol’ egg up his plumber hole, but Birdo refused up until recently.

“Comonna, Birdo, poppa da egg right uppa my culo, eh?” Mario would say.

“No, Mario, the eggs, they’re too big!” Birdo would reply.

Finally, tired of the endless pestering, Birdo gave in and blasted an egg directly into Mario’s waiting butthole.

Out of respect for the deceased, the funeral will be closed casket.

Revins
Nov 2, 2007





tune the FM in to static and pretend that its the sea

TontoCorazon posted:

That's a rough 35

spread himself too thin... a cautionary tale

Bad Purchase
Jun 17, 2019




layin' pipe is a hard line of work

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon
I'm sorry your afterlife is on another plane

flavor.flv
Apr 18, 2008

I got a letter from the government the other day
opened it, read it
it said they was bitches




The secret to understanding the Mario canon is to realize there are two Marios.

Mario Sr. and his identical twin brother Luigi were born and raised in Brooklyn. They worked a series of blue collar jobs and eventually discovered a portal to another universe accidentally while working a plumbing job for the city of new york

That Mario had several adventures rescuing the princess of the mushroom kingdom from the evil despot Bowser, the king of the koopas, and eventually retired in a castle in Sarasaland

Mario Jr. and his fraternal twin Luigi Jr. are his sons, who were almost lost in yoshi's island, but they were eventually reunited with their father and unnamed mother after having their own adventure with Bowser's son, Bowser Jr

Bowser Jr. eventually takes over as king of the koopas, while Mario Jr and Luigi Jr grow up to be different in appearance and personality from each other. Bowser Jr runs his kingdom in a much more liberal manner and opens diplomatic and trade borders with the mushroom kingdom (his being the son of the mushroom kingdom's ruler definitely helps with this process)

This second generation of Marios and Bowsers doesn't have the adversarial relationship that their fathers did. They play tennis together. They go karting. When the mushroom kingdom is threatened, Bowser II is happy to help defend it

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Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

Luigi standing outside his brothers house in the mushroom kingdom, with a bottle of cheap gin in hand

"MARIO! Youa fuckin COWARDA! You gone anda leave you brother anna you keeds!! Why YOU DO-A thees to us Mario-o-o ...Peacha, see suckin tha Bowser-eh for two-a coin onna his bigga flyin' boat Mario! Two COIN!"

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