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Do you enjoy frozen shaved meat? Dump trucks full of noodles? Brown sauces that come in opaque and unlabeled gallon jugs? Parenthetical cultural appropriation? If so, it has been scientifically proven* that you will enjoy the warm embrace of the pending death that results in regular consumption of the pageant of flavor that is Great Khan’s Mongolian Festival.  Often imitated by lesser products, Great Khan’s was an innovator in the “smash what was heretofore considered unfathomable amounts of meat into a small bowl that is woefully incapable of holding this volume…plus noodles” market. I first discovered this caloric adventure in the food court of malls, lo those many years ago, in and around Southern California.  Given their proximity to Los Angeles metropolitan area, the inquisitive reader might feel compelled to ask whether I felt pressure to live a healthy lifestyle, inhibited, or shamed into squishing less meat (and two carrots precariously balanced on top to keep up appearances) into the bowl for cooking? Reader, I did not. Upon providing remuneration for a bowl and access to the trough of sustenance, the adventurous glutton is given a free hand to attempt to replicate the Tower of Babel right there in the drat mall. Meat selections generally consist of what ostensibly was once beef, chicken, pork, and possibly lamb. Now, after pickup and extrusion of leftover bits laying around various low margin meat processing facilities, the “meat” is pressure formed, frozen, and sliced for easy cramming into your bowl. Real OGs know to grab an extra napkin at the register to press down the frozen meat layers to enable the piling on of yet more meat.  There’s often a wide variety of vegetables that are available to add to your bowl but, in a moment of clarity, you realize that you’re not here for the vegetables and move down the line to the noodles. Unlike this poor bastard:  Sometimes there are different kinds of noodles available, but as with the Highlander, there can only be one.  Hand your completed pile of unmitigated culinary lunacy to a cook and watch them grab two sticks and a plastic gallon jug that is eerily reminiscent of what bleach comes in full of a dark liquid to dump all over your creation as it goes on the grill. Furious stirring commences in a ceaseless and ultimately losing battle of not burning all your poo poo and making it stick to the grill surface which, incidentally, is remarkably similar to the heat production of a tokamak reactor.  They've changed their name, logo, and endured a significant reduction in the footprint of their franchise system, but it is of no concern to us. All of this and more can be endured for the carnal pleasure of consuming unlabeled chemicals in quantities that do not bear significant contemplation. We do this knowingly, thankfully, and without reservation because if there is death to be had, it should be had because of noodles.  *may not be scientifically proven. Beef Of Ages fucked around with this message at 13:15 on Apr 3, 2021 |
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Apr 2, 2021 21:17
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| # ? Jun 21, 2021 22:53 |
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I have seen people do absolutely insane things to stack as much shaved meat into that bowls as possible. We're talkin' 8 inch tall meat mountains.
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Apr 2, 2021 21:32
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Fartington Butts posted:I have seen people do absolutely insane things to stack as much shaved meat into that bowls as possible. We're talkin' 8 inch tall meat mountains. I salute this master of meat physics.
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Apr 2, 2021 22:06
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lol good post op
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Apr 3, 2021 10:15
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Twenty Four posted:lol good post op 
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Apr 3, 2021 13:13
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I want to like these places but I’m somehow incapable of seasoning my plate of meat and noodles properly 9 out of 10 times I’d just rather get greasy Chinese takeout
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Apr 3, 2021 21:05
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Pakistani Brad Pitt posted:I want to like these places but I’m somehow incapable of seasoning my plate of meat and noodles properly Seasoning yourself is a sure way to ruin. In the context of Great Khan's, the aforementioned house sauce from the random opaque jug is sufficient and helps ensure a low grease factor.
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Apr 3, 2021 21:11
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Pakistani Brad Pitt posted:I want to like these places but I’m somehow incapable of seasoning my plate of meat and noodles properly yeah, I love a mongolian grill (it's Hu-Hot around here) in theory but it seems like I always gently caress it up, somehow. how? but it is fun once in a while.
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Apr 4, 2021 04:31
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The Breakfast Sampler posted:yeah, I love a mongolian grill (it's Hu-Hot around here) in theory but it seems like I always gently caress it up, somehow. how? but it is fun once in a while. So many of the sauces are basically oil with interesting names that don't actually impart the flavor you're hoping for; what the gently caress does Diablo mean other than hot? It's that other bit that ruins everything.
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Apr 4, 2021 19:37
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The place closest to me put a sign up banning stacks too high which is a bummer. Also in the COVID era they switched to premade bowls and they definitely did not have anything that offered what I was looking for from them (giant bowl of meat and noodles in a savory and spicy sauce).
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Apr 8, 2021 04:06
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Los Ingobernables de Onsite BYOB
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Twenty Four posted:lol good post op
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Apr 8, 2021 04:06
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Rick posted:The place closest to me put a sign up banning stacks too high which is a bummer. Also in the COVID era they switched to premade bowls and they definitely did not have anything that offered what I was looking for from them (giant bowl of meat and noodles in a savory and spicy sauce). That would completely defeat the purpose. Also we know that COVID is not transmitted by surface contact very much so this makes even less sense and is sad.
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Apr 8, 2021 21:11
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In the before times at my local chinese buffet there was a mongolian grill area. I would do noodles, shrimp, chicken, onion, pineapple 2x ladle of garlic brown sauce 5x spoonful of chili sambal Very Spicy tangy sweet goodness. The steam coming off the plate would make other people in line cough sometimes
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Apr 8, 2021 22:06
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WITCHCRAFT posted:In the before times at my local chinese buffet there was a mongolian grill area. I would do noodles, shrimp, chicken, onion, pineapple Ah yes, the high rear end burn quotient. I know it well.
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Apr 9, 2021 00:55
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| # ? Jun 21, 2021 22:53 |
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Jalapeno, Pineapple, Chicken noodles if one is feeling simple are a delight.
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Apr 11, 2021 14:05
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