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Besides shitposting, what's your toilet time look like? I need some new suggestions on how to occupy the best part of the day.
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Apr 3, 2021 23:44
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 16:50 |
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I sit on the toilet then I poop, op
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Apr 3, 2021 23:46
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I eat lots of fibre so I take routine shits.
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Apr 3, 2021 23:57
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Food goes in to mouth. When it is ready to come out rear end, I go to toilet and make much take poo poo.
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Apr 4, 2021 00:03
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1. poo poo 2. (Optional) Wipe
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Apr 4, 2021 00:10
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Kilbas posted:1. poo poo Have you considered wiping is emasculating?
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Apr 4, 2021 00:12
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I walk in and feel my blood pressure spike then wake up five hours later with my face in the toilet and a huge poo poo log trailing out of my anus and dipping into a pool of urine below me.
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Apr 4, 2021 00:12
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I sit down when I pee.
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Apr 4, 2021 00:13
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HugeGrossBurrito posted:Have you considered wiping is emasculating? I refrain from wiping to preserve my manhood, ensure a healthy rear end-biome, and to commit a form of my own personal radical eco-terrorism against paper product companies on a daily basis.
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Apr 4, 2021 00:15
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Katamari Democracy posted:I sit down when I pee. anyone who doesnt is a try hard, I aint got time to stand gently caress that
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Apr 4, 2021 00:16
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i leave the seat up on purpose so nobody can accuse me of being the one who peed on it
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Apr 4, 2021 00:17
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Bad Purchase posted:i leave the seat up on purpose so nobody can accuse me of being the one who peed on it In my house we have one rule: Leave the lid down before, during, and after.
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Apr 4, 2021 00:19
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Katamari Democracy posted:I sit down when I pee.
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Apr 4, 2021 00:24
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if I'm feeling reckless I'll just leave everything up and go straight to the porcelain, bare rear end on cold ceramics. it's really unpleasant. also I don't clean often, which makes it even worse. (but usually, I just run the shower and shitpost on my phone.)
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Apr 4, 2021 00:26
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One giant log
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Apr 4, 2021 00:26
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First, I get naked. I look at myself in the bathroom mirror and inspect my belly. I want to see how bulbous and repulsive it is. Then, I sit on the toilet and squeeze out as much peepee and popoo as I possibly can. I wipe myself using about 2 rolls of toilet paper. Then, I use a bidet to get those last stubborn dingleberries. I reexamine myself in the mirror to see if my bowel movement made any difference in awful my stomach looks. It usually doesn't, so I cry for about 5 minutes. I wash my hands, lick them clean, and then head out of the bathroom. I then reenter the bathroom and get dressed because I'm usually too distraught to remember.
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Apr 4, 2021 00:30
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Wash my rear end in a top hat with my expensive japanese toilet seat.
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Apr 4, 2021 00:30
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I get all my wiping done at the start of the week. Solid hour while catching up on podcasts, then I can just poop and go for the rest of the week.
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Apr 4, 2021 00:38
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I go in, poop and/or pee, wipe my bum/willy, and then leave and it all takes about 5 minutes max. I sometimes see people talking about reading or playing games on their phone and I'm like I dunno how people have time to do anything else. I eat a horrible diet of goony processed foods so there's no excuse for hanging out in the poop room imo Basically I'm flexing about how great I am at pooping
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Apr 4, 2021 00:43
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bossy lady posted:Wash my rear end in a top hat with my expensive japanese toilet seat.
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Apr 4, 2021 00:47
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finally... the one thing goons truly love to post about...
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Apr 4, 2021 00:48
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Weird that none of you remove your pants first
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Apr 4, 2021 00:58
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Kilbas posted:In my house we have one rule: Leave the lid down before, during, and after. Do you like sitting in piss?
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Apr 4, 2021 01:20
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Never the same twice. You gotta keep em guessing, op.
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Apr 4, 2021 01:24
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Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:finally... the one thing goons truly love to post about... Don't forget pants making GBS threads and rear end eating. Panic! At The Tesco posted:I go in, poop and/or pee, wipe my bum/willy, and then leave and it all takes about 5 minutes max. I take advantage of the wifi and post on the forums. I'm taking poo poo posting to a whole new level when I do that.
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Apr 4, 2021 01:25
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my routine is just the usual one that involves ballerina shoes, a wet vac and a case of body butter
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Apr 4, 2021 01:26
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7:00am - Wake up. Still a toilet. 7:01am - Breakfast.
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Apr 4, 2021 01:29
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First I find this thread, then I poo poo on it. The reply button acts as the bidet.
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Apr 4, 2021 01:38
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Funky See Funky Do posted:7:00am - Wake up. Still a toilet. Funky see funky do awoke to find himself a toilet
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Apr 4, 2021 01:39
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no pubes yet sorry posted:Funky see funky do awoke to find himself a toilet The Metamorpoopsis
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Apr 4, 2021 01:41
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Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:I walk in and feel my blood pressure spike then wake up five hours later with my face in the toilet and a huge poo poo log trailing out of my anus and dipping into a pool of urine below me. Did you go to Kent State?
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Apr 4, 2021 01:43
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i poop in the dark. i feel ashamed when i'm done.
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Apr 4, 2021 01:43
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You got to hold it in a little bit. Then when you finally go to poop, you can be in & out pretty quick OP. Hope that helps.
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Apr 4, 2021 01:48
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no pubes yet sorry posted:Funky see funky do awoke to find himself a toilet I may have misread the thread title. nevertheless
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Apr 4, 2021 01:49
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I like to wait until the last minute, just really live dangerously to get my morning going.
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Apr 4, 2021 01:52
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Take a poo poo, dig around the bowl and pull it out, inspect it to see if it’s a keeper, toss it back if not. Catalog, use colored flag system to categorize before putting turd in shoebox, finish peeing, flush. Put shoebox in poo freezer. It’s not a perfect system but if I want to look up a memorable poo poo from say, October 2008, takes less than a minute. Occasionally I’ll have ones longer than a shoebox, and I just snip off the ends with scissors and throw the ends back in the toilet. 
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Apr 4, 2021 01:59
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I'm not gonna be part of your fetish op
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Apr 4, 2021 02:02
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I skip the toilet and just poo poo directly into the garbage disposal
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Apr 4, 2021 02:05
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ClamdestineBoyster posted:Take a poo poo, dig around the bowl and pull it out, inspect it to see if it’s a keeper, toss it back if not. Catalog, use colored flag system to categorize before putting turd in shoebox, finish peeing, flush. Put shoebox in poo freezer. It’s not a perfect system but if I want to look up a memorable poo poo from say, October 2008, takes less than a minute. Occasionally I’ll have ones longer than a shoebox, and I just snip off the ends with scissors and throw the ends back in the toilet. How can you truly appreciate a poop with no ends? The ends are the best bit.
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Apr 4, 2021 02:08
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 16:50 |
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Panic! At The Tesco posted:How can you truly appreciate a poop with no ends? The ends are the best bit. He's like a child insisting his mother cut the crust off his peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. It's juvenile.
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Apr 4, 2021 02:09
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