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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Qv25_DFR2k
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Apr 4, 2021 02:10
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| # ? Apr 18, 2024 07:28 |
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I stand up to poop.
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Apr 4, 2021 02:14
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All my clothes come off, even at the urinal.
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Apr 4, 2021 02:17
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Panic! At The Tesco posted:How can you truly appreciate a poop with no ends? The ends are the best bit. You would think, but it’s really more about the feeling and the mood than pure aesthetics. 
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Apr 4, 2021 02:19
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Baseball is the most gbs sport lol
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Apr 4, 2021 02:22
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If you keep your rear end properly stretched, the poop just falls out and no wiping necessary.
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Apr 4, 2021 02:22
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ClamdestineBoyster posted:You would think, but it’s really more about the feeling and the mood than pure aesthetics. These are the things I look for in a good poop, in order of importance: 1. Texture & Colour 2. Shape (chopped off ends would score very low in this category) 3. Smell 4. Size 5. Mouthfeel
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Apr 4, 2021 02:23
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Panic! At The Tesco posted:These are the things I look for in a good poop, in order of importance: Have you been leafing through my notes? 
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Apr 4, 2021 02:25
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SpaceAceJase posted:All my clothes come off, even at the urinal. In middle school, one of the special needs students did this. This is probably why I still get pee-shy to this day.
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Apr 4, 2021 02:26
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I actually have an extremely advanced colostomy, in which I plug a water hose into my stoma port, or "stort". When I turn on the tap, it not only violently blasts all of the poo poo out of my rear end, it also thoroughly cleans my rectum and rear end in a top hat. That's right, folks, the Cinco Colonostort will make toilet paper a thing of the past!
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Apr 4, 2021 02:29
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I take my pants all the way off.
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Apr 4, 2021 03:04
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Im sorry my toilet routine is top secret. if the russians, or god forbid the US, gets this kind of technology there is no telling the damage it would do to global stability
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Apr 4, 2021 03:07
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has anyone posted the hilarious kardi B interview about pooping
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Apr 4, 2021 04:00
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Sjs00 posted:has anyone posted the hilarious kardi B interview about pooping WAP Wet rear end Poopy?
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Apr 4, 2021 05:12
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I both eat a lot of fruits and veggies and drink too much so I'm a pooping speedrunner
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Apr 4, 2021 05:15
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also I vape so the nicotine also expedites the poop flow
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Apr 4, 2021 05:17
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https://i.imgur.com/8ClQaEU.mp4
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Apr 4, 2021 06:11
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Taking a work-from-home poo poo is god level action.
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Apr 4, 2021 06:15
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*furiously taking notes* I have so much to learn
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Apr 4, 2021 06:17
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I am a level 107 grand master in microsoft solitaire on my phone op I spend a LOT of time on the toilet
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Apr 4, 2021 07:12
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I have the bathroom stereo system rigged to play the overworld music from earthbound when the bathroom door opens. sensors in my abdomen detect when my bowel movements start, communicating this wirelessly to the bathroom stereo system, the overworld music fades out and the battle music begins. when the toilet paper roll spins a gyrosensor relays its signal to the bathroom stereo system causing the battle music to fade out and the battle end ditty to play
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Apr 4, 2021 08:36
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r u ready to WALK posted:I am a level 107 grand master in microsoft solitaire on my phone op stay off your phone in the toilet jeez, that thing is probably taken out during meals and pressed up to your face
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Apr 4, 2021 08:38
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OP I meet up with your mom, she kindly lets me in and asks how my day is going, we chit-chat for awhile while dropping subtle digs at her loser child who's still asleep in the basement even though it's 1:30 in the afternoon, I show her some of your posts and she just shakes her head and says "where did I go wrong, I thought I was such a good mother", she says that she wishes you'd do something with your life instead of hanging out in a Taco Bell parking lot doing god knows what but we have to let our children live their lives, we make more small talk and then I make an excuse to leave, as I'm about to go I say "actually, could I use your bathroom real quick", she agrees because we're old friends now, I enter the bathroom, I stare at myself in the mirror for several minutes, I flush the empty toilet, wash my hands, and leave the bathroom, I thank your mom before telling another joke and telling her that I hope we'll be able to catch up like this again soon
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Apr 4, 2021 08:51
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- Crying in despair - Avoiding eye contact with the dude in the mirror - Posting on the forums or Discord
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Apr 4, 2021 08:59
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Caesar Saladin posted:stay off your phone in the toilet jeez, that thing is probably taken out during meals and pressed up to your face lol what kind of weirdo still uses a phone for voice calls
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Apr 4, 2021 09:05
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Last night I dropped a nice long extra wide turd and it was a no wiper. I still remember it and smile. Cue for some idiot goon to tell me how to change my entire diet so every poo poo is a no wiper.
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Apr 4, 2021 09:33
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5 squares, folded. God's chosen ratio.
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Apr 4, 2021 10:49
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Drop trousers, sit down, momentarily stop straining to keep the filth inside, the world turns red for a few seconds, then I spend a minute or two trying to remember yesterday's dinner by the stench of my emanations.
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Apr 4, 2021 11:13
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i sit on the can for half an hour because of my constipation and narrow urethra during this time i read and play vidya games
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Apr 4, 2021 13:10
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I go outside, turn around a few times and pop a squat in the corner of the yard and let fly. Sometimes I like to kick some grass at the pile with my back legs to really show it who’s boss. Then I run around a bunch and go back inside.
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Apr 4, 2021 13:30
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Sorry my dog got ahold of my phone while I was in the bathroom pooping.
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Apr 4, 2021 13:31
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That dog needs practice. Someone post that gif of the guy who gets on all fours in front of the toilet and lets a poo poo misile go and it lands in the bowl. As for me, I'm feeling one brewing and very soon will be making much take poo poo at home. E: Just took a dump, lost a pound and a half. wesleywillis fucked around with this message at 15:01 on Apr 4, 2021 |
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Apr 4, 2021 14:36
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Incredible. This guy is a pooping maestro.
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Apr 4, 2021 17:44
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the bidet is the only way.
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Apr 4, 2021 19:59
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I don’t understand looking at phone/reading materials on the toilet and never have. I sit down, poo poo, and wipe up. How constipated are these people? Also do they keep touching their phone in between/after wiping cause if so ewww.
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Apr 4, 2021 20:27
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Sucrose posted:I don’t understand looking at phone/reading materials on the toilet and never have. I sit down, poo poo, and wipe up. How constipated are these people? Also do they keep touching their phone in between/after wiping cause if so ewww. Wipe with the phone.... Idiot
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Apr 4, 2021 20:42
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You're not supposed to wipe with your hand  Here let me put this incredibly popular library book on the bathroom floor and show you the proper technique
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Apr 4, 2021 20:42
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MakaVillian posted:Wipe with the phone.... Idiot I can't afford the iPhone with the textured glass back. 
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Apr 4, 2021 21:53
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Apr 4, 2021 22:03
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| # ? Apr 18, 2024 07:28 |
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same as elvis's - i assume everyone is familiar with elvis's
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Apr 4, 2021 22:03
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