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cnut posted:I eat lots of fibre so I take routine shits. I straight inject psyllium husk into my viens
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Apr 4, 2021 22:16
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I think this might be the first time I've ever seen that GIF unedited.
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Apr 4, 2021 22:21
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wesleywillis posted:That dog needs practice. Yeah any self respecting doggo would have gobbled those turds before they hit the water.
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Apr 5, 2021 02:43
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Deep Glove Bruno posted:same as elvis's - i assume everyone is familiar with elvis's the two seashell’s?
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Apr 5, 2021 02:45
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What's up with people that go to take a poo poo and it takes them 45 minutes? Like even when I poo poo out a big ole log, two big ole logs, or just have a cases of the squirts, it's like a five minute process, max, in and out. Why would someone even want or need to spend the better part of an hour making GBS threads, I just don't get it.
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Apr 5, 2021 02:57
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Like, I get it if you're at work and you can just pass it off as "Yeah I guess there was some gluten in that breakfast tortilla, really does a number on me, you know?" and get paid to sit for 45 minutes, but why would you need that long to poo poo at home. Fix your drat bowels man.
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Apr 5, 2021 02:59
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I told you already I got constipation
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Apr 5, 2021 03:01
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Real talk for my morning poop I get naked then get on my scale then sit on the toilet and do my business then get on the scale again so I know how much my poop weighted.
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Apr 5, 2021 03:58
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I want to suck on poop
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Apr 5, 2021 03:58
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I go to work at 8 and I’m making GBS threads by 9 usually. Preferably I get my first cup of coffee in before the poo poo hits, otherwise I run the risk of the coffee forcing more out for a second round. Better to just get it all out at once.
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Apr 5, 2021 04:26
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Grab the grease pencil and draw some runes on the bowl for to promote ease, consistency and satisfaction.
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Apr 5, 2021 04:40
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Chief McHeath posted:What's up with people that go to take a poo poo and it takes them 45 minutes? Like even when I poo poo out a big ole log, two big ole logs, or just have a cases of the squirts, it's like a five minute process, max, in and out. Why would someone even want or need to spend the better part of an hour making GBS threads, I just don't get it. When else am I supposed to check on my idle RPGs on my phone?
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Apr 5, 2021 04:41
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I follow the old proverb: "Piss in a bottle, poo poo in a sack; Sell them both, Buy more crack."
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Apr 5, 2021 05:38
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Toilet? Wow, look at all the fancy rich people in here. I use a chamber pot like a regular person.
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Apr 5, 2021 11:52
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Does it have a bidet?
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Apr 5, 2021 13:11
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Connormgs posted:I dropped a brand new tube of toothpaste in the toilet
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Apr 5, 2021 14:22
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Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:I want to suck on poop think v carefully about it booger baby some dude from reddit lol posted:Growing up, I was fascinated with scat sex. I used to download tonnes of scat movies and I always fantasised having a women poo poo on my body and in my mouth one day. After years of fantasising, I finally decided to pay for the professional escort Louise Hunter, who is well known for her scat movies. I turned up at her house and she seemed nice enough. She knew it was my first time experiencing scat, so she knew to take it slow. Louise had laid down some plastic on the floor in her living room, and lots of towels on top of that. I hosed her for a while, before laying on my back and letting her piss on my cock and stomach. Then she was about to start making GBS threads and I asked if she could do it directly into my mouth. She happily shuffled backwards and started making GBS threads in my mouth. As soon as the poo poo touched my tongue, I knew I had made a huge mistake. This was not how I imagined it would be, and at that moment I was simply a normal guy, on his back, with a women's poo poo in his mouth. The thing was I was too polite to tell her to stop. She had already told me she had had clients that asked her to stop and I didn't want to be one of them. So I stuck it out, and just let most of the poo poo fall off my lips onto the towel. I finished myself off by wanking onto her and then she let me take a shower to clean myself up before I left.
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Apr 5, 2021 23:48
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Who What Now posted:When else am I supposed to check on my idle RPGs on my phone?
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Apr 6, 2021 00:24
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Panic! At The Tesco posted:think v carefully about it booger baby Well, reddit dude didn't knock it till he tried it. I just took a poo poo myself, and my place smells like it. I usually take my time on the can and let it fall out. I also like to read on the can. I've learned so much while taking a dump its unbelievable.
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Apr 6, 2021 00:47
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I have different routines for different days. Monday: The standard day, the control day. I sit and poop and sometimes post. Tuesday: Pain and gain. I'll eat an Ultimate Bacon Cheeseburger from Jack on Monday night to get ready for this poop, which is about as hard and large as baseballs. I have to break these up with my designated poop stick or else they wont go down. Wednesday: String cheese day. That is both what it is and what I eat for all of Tuesday. This requires maximum bidet time to clean which is a plus. Thursday: Exercise day. I eat healthy on Wednesday for your standard semi-soft log, but this day is about self-control. I spend most of the day on my knees turtleheading for as long as possible, peaking in and out, before doing the hard part of standing up and walking to the bathroom without doing a reflexive clench that would pinch off the head into my pants. This whole event has taken a lot of practice and I've very proud of it. Friday: An elaboration on Thursday, but just on the toilet. You ever see those guys that can spit a loogie all the way to the floor and then suck it back up? That's basically what I do, but the loogie is poop and the floor is the toilet bowl. I "kiss the bowl" as much as I can before the poop breaks off on it's own. Saturday: Poop fasting day in preparation for Sunday. Sunday: I eat as much as I can on both Friday and Saturday, resisting an urge to poop on Saturday so that my Sunday poop is as large and intense as possible. This one is entirely about mass, and I try to break my personal best every week. I poop onto a weight plate that I can fit in the bowl and measure my progress. I also eat normally on this day so I can have a normal one on Monday. Thanks for asking OP!
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Apr 6, 2021 01:16
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Apr 6, 2021 01:41
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Chief McHeath posted:What's up with people that go to take a poo poo and it takes them 45 minutes? Like even when I poo poo out a big ole log, two big ole logs, or just have a cases of the squirts, it's like a five minute process, max, in and out. Why would someone even want or need to spend the better part of an hour making GBS threads, I just don't get it. You must not have kids.
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Apr 6, 2021 02:59
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I'm at work right now getting paid to make much take poo poo. This is the very definition of poo poo posting.
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Apr 6, 2021 13:24
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You work in the shitmines too huh?
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Apr 6, 2021 13:26
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im a long pooper due to not enough water and fiber in my diet probably. sometimes it feels like that fuckers tryna come out sideways. the amount of distress my rear end is in vs. how big the turd is when i finally get it out is just a goddamn joke sometimes
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Apr 6, 2021 13:29
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I don't use the toilet I just poop on the floor, because of big government OP.
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Apr 6, 2021 13:33
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Sucrose posted:I don’t understand looking at phone/reading materials on the toilet and never have. I sit down, poo poo, and wipe up. How constipated are these people? Also do they keep touching their phone in between/after wiping cause if so ewww. wipe. up??! 
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Apr 6, 2021 13:41
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Sometimes I use the wrong hand and wipe up with my phone instead of a tight wad of TP. It's ok though statistically your phone is dirtier than a toilet so a little bit of poop might even make it cleaner
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Apr 6, 2021 13:44
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i've heard of stories of opiate shits as big as soda cans and have known plenty of people who've probably created them and it is astounding. thank the poop gods for great poops if you've got them.
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Apr 6, 2021 14:10
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semi related to the topic of bathroom stuff: shaving your head feels really really satisfying
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Apr 6, 2021 14:20
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Agreed, although I hope you aren't doing it while pooping
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Apr 6, 2021 14:22
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Revins posted:semi related to the topic of bathroom stuff: shaving your head feels really really satisfying What about your rear end in a top hat and how does that impact your making GBS threads?
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Apr 6, 2021 15:01
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b-holes are for waxing, not shaving. duh
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Apr 6, 2021 15:12
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and idk do you like dingleberries? probably. fuckin dingleberry lover
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Apr 6, 2021 15:13
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Colonel Cancer posted:Agreed, although I hope you aren't doing it while pooping WHY WOULD I WASTE PERFECTLY GOOD MONEY ON SHAVING CREAM WHEN MY rear end PROVIDES?
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Apr 6, 2021 15:50
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i heard that crack wax is a folly which obtains only hardship and repentance, because apparently lacking the body's natural rear end hair you get a build up of sweat and fluids in your rear end which smells of poo poo, and then when your hairs grow back in they poke and scratch at the sensitive skin about one's anus, and you are sore afflicted
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Apr 6, 2021 17:51
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HORSE-SLAUGHTERER posted:i heard that crack wax is a folly which obtains only hardship and repentance, because apparently lacking the body's natural rear end hair you get a build up of sweat and fluids in your rear end which smells of poo poo, and then when your hairs grow back in they poke and scratch at the sensitive skin about one's anus, and you are sore afflicted this tracks. everytime ive shaved my rear end ive had perpetual stanky swamp rear end until it grew back, which is an itchy uncomfortable multi-week process
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Apr 6, 2021 17:54
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I find your anal hygiene lacking
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Apr 6, 2021 23:40
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I take my pants off all the way. Right off the legs
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Apr 6, 2021 23:53
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see those shites where it all comes out as one nice log and you wipe and there's like no poop on your arse? brilliant, love 'em
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Apr 6, 2021 23:54
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