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Literally A Person
May 17, 2017

dissin your fly girl


Sometimes I like to wrap it in a t-shirt, turn it on, and pretend it is a purring kitty.

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Literally A Person
May 17, 2017

dissin your fly girl


runnypoops posted:

the hitachi is now stuck in my rear end i cant stop cumming

Quit bragging.

Literally A Person
May 17, 2017

dissin your fly girl


This thread is getting...uh... pretty pathetic.

Literally A Person
May 17, 2017

dissin your fly girl


Bad Purchase posted:

Sorry, it's because I posted in it.

Well yeah....

Literally A Person
May 17, 2017

dissin your fly girl


xox posted:

Do you know how loving depressing it is that Satan is god of this earth and elite pedophiles run the show, can we just have a little not that srs lighthearted fun once in a while...

No. No fun. It's a rule.

Literally A Person
May 17, 2017

dissin your fly girl


low key sex master posted:

There is nothing pathetic or unnatural about giving your partner mind-blowing orgasms using sexual stimulant toys my goon

Here is my answer to your statement:

Bad Purchase posted:

Yeah, but pretty much everyone is better at crankin their own hog or nib than someone else would be. We're a closed loop system on our own with instant feedback about what feels best, with many years of neural network training to optimize the routine. The reason it's fun to have sex with someone else is the same reason it's fun to play games with old graphics and dated mechanics, like everquest or morrowind or doom. There's a comforting nostalgia in sharing an awkward and unsatisfying nut with someone else like the good old days.

Literally A Person
May 17, 2017

dissin your fly girl


Zil posted:

Bottom left is kinda intimidating not going to lie.

They call that the Mr. Friendly.

Literally A Person
May 17, 2017

dissin your fly girl


Bad Purchase posted:

the 2nd part of what i said was not meant to be taken seriously, apologies for any confusion or goonsay vibes

If it makes you feel better, I know. I just don't care.

Literally A Person
May 17, 2017

dissin your fly girl


You will be associated with this post forever.

Bad Purchase posted:

Yeah, but pretty much everyone is better at crankin their own hog or nib than someone else would be. We're a closed loop system on our own with instant feedback about what feels best, with many years of neural network training to optimize the routine. The reason it's fun to have sex with someone else is the same reason it's fun to play games with old graphics and dated mechanics, like everquest or morrowind or doom. There's a comforting nostalgia in sharing an awkward and unsatisfying nut with someone else like the good old days.

FOREVER

Literally A Person
May 17, 2017

dissin your fly girl


That is the blessing I bestow upon you.

Literally A Person
May 17, 2017

dissin your fly girl


Mozi posted:

feel like laying down a bunt? pinch-hit the magic wand - its obp is over 0.97!

Would it be uncouth to use the term box score?

Literally A Person
May 17, 2017

dissin your fly girl


Bad Purchase posted:

it's nowhere near the worst post i've made

HERE HERE!

Literally A Person
May 17, 2017

dissin your fly girl


Spinz posted:

Ha thread getting good now

I would never use one of those things because yeah guy dick would not cut it afterward

This is a weird take too. We totally have a wand massager but we still both have great orgasms from intercourse. It's just a sex toy. Frankly there is no replacement for flesh be it a tongue, a wang, or a forearm.

Literally A Person
May 17, 2017

dissin your fly girl


Colonel Cancer posted:

You can't call it a wand, that's unmanly. Maybe Prostate Destroyer, in camo, with a pistol grip

Tactical Prostate Destroyer.

Literally A Person
May 17, 2017

dissin your fly girl


Weka posted:

Are you suggesting I jam a magic wand into 3 pounds of ground beef or...?

1.5 beef, 1.5 ground turkey. Keeps it healthy.

Literally A Person
May 17, 2017

dissin your fly girl


AmbassadorofSodomy posted:

Hitachi magic wand for men:



Username/post combo of a power magnitude I've never seen before. I didn't even know these levels were possible.

Literally A Person
May 17, 2017

dissin your fly girl


Do you have any plans for the now detached penis? Asking for a friend.

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Literally A Person
May 17, 2017

dissin your fly girl


Big Beef City posted:

Buy it an account

Detached Dongus is a 5-star user gimmick.

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