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EorayMel

You got the fluffy kitty kitty!


If you bury multiple knives in the ground, with the blades pointing AT the plants, the plants will not escape. They will be constantly intimidated and not attempt to flee.
However, if you also bury multiple knives in the ground, with the blades pointing AWAY at the plants, the plants will not be attacked. Whatever trying to ransack the plants will instead be thwarted by the sharp pieces of metal in the ground dissuading any further action, like spiders in holes but always aware and on the offensive yet not needing to actually move.

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Finger Prince

"I think he's watching us..."

"No, it's just the Mountain Peeks."
(Source)



hasidic scarecrow.

nut


give the crops the love worth staying for

https://thumbs.gfycat.com/BowedParallelAcouchi-mobile.mp4
god bles manifisto for the springtime signature

Heather Papps


hello internet friend




if you show corn episodes of dragon ball z it will learn to fight off the crows


tyvm hbag

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN


I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.




Scarecrow but an actual guy

prepuce repurposed

felt cute, might delete later




Finger Prince posted:

hasidic scarecrow.

sk

(ヤイケス!)




plant them inside


thank you Pot Smoke Phoenix!!
Add to your sig if you're a proud supporter of Local 69!
Check out my Retired Sig Parade!

google THIS



Don't just use pesticide. Also use pestiothercide, pestifront, and pestiback. Surround those pests and they won't stand a chance.

BALLS DILDO

there can be no true peace if you enjoy using the computer




GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

Scarecrow but an actual guy

scarecrow but an actual crow


thanku pot smoke phoenix

BALLS DILDO

there can be no true peace if you enjoy using the computer




a well trained flock of crows collectively wearing a pants and shirt scaring the wild crows


thanku pot smoke phoenix

Buttchocks

No, I like my hat, thanks.


encase them in carbonite

Escape From Noise

Would an advertising executive
Understand where the homeless live?
Would he know about the bubbles in his glass?
Would the bubbles in his glass
Understand what the man's golf cart is?
Do they know you can die frozen underneath an overpass?


Pure, unabashed nude farming 24/7

Finger Prince

"I think he's watching us..."

"No, it's just the Mountain Peeks."
(Source)



Escape From Noise posted:

Pure, unabashed nude farming 24/7

My nude farm brings all the crows to the yard

EorayMel

You got the fluffy kitty kitty!


I have found if I buried all the crops deep in the ground in a place only I know if, then nobody and nothing else can get to them. The ultimate in safety and secrecy!

nut


keep them in ur hands

https://thumbs.gfycat.com/BowedParallelAcouchi-mobile.mp4
god bles manifisto for the springtime signature

nut


germinating an entire bushel of corn with my palmsweat

https://thumbs.gfycat.com/BowedParallelAcouchi-mobile.mp4
god bles manifisto for the springtime signature

xcheopis




Putting up signs in multiple languages, in case the ground mammals and insects don't speak 'bird'

Mormon Nailer

PHANTOM QUEEN



These pigs wanna blow my house down.

aldantefax

ALWAYS BE MECHFISHIN'

Noneuclidean tower defense system with hypercube

Escape From Noise

Would an advertising executive
Understand where the homeless live?
Would he know about the bubbles in his glass?
Would the bubbles in his glass
Understand what the man's golf cart is?
Do they know you can die frozen underneath an overpass?


Teddy Thunders posted:

These pigs wanna blow my house down.

Wow! I'm a huge fan of ur work Dr. Greenthumb

Mormon Nailer

PHANTOM QUEEN



Escape From Noise posted:

Wow! I'm a huge fan of ur work Dr. Greenthumb

These cops wanna try and steal my cross, I will protect the crops by building a wall.

Nosfereefer



Finger Prince posted:

hasidic scarecrow.

Nosfereefer



might as well give it a try op, having a bearded patriarch sprinkle blessed water on them has done little wrt/t the crow situation

Putty


Have mah step-grandson Jimmy Dean buried in the yard with all the plants. Don't worry, e got is shotgun with im, gonna holler and shoot if e see any varmint or that basterd Dale tryna root the crops. Been out there buried in the yard for bout a week now. No hollerin bout food, no need for anythin. Proud of that boy.

Ventral EggSac



Birth and clothe some gremlins. Bathe them gently once a week, let them suckle at my teat so they aren't tempted by the veggies.

frump truck
this is my text



to protect the crops, you first must destroy the crops. it's the only way.

snergle


i made a deal with god to protect my crops although i guess thats pretty orthodox but what makes it unorthodox is i also made a deal with satan to protect my crops. to make it easier i just pray to them both at the same time.

dear god and satan please protect my crops and do not forgive people who trespass on my crops turn them to pillars of salt then blow the wind so the salt salts the earth of my enemies. also you know satan do what ever it is you do to protect my crops.

Buttchocks

No, I like my hat, thanks.


Justice League: Crop Patrol

google THIS



EorayMel posted:

I have found if I buried all the crops deep in the ground in a place only I know if, then nobody and nothing else can get to them. The ultimate in safety and secrecy!

I try this at the beginning of the season but they end up sticking up out of the ground anyway

FutonForensic



shackle chastity belts 'round mah rutabagas

Ventral EggSac



Hug each crop tight and bite anybody that comes near

Nosfereefer



frump truck posted:

to protect the crops, you first must destroy the crops. it's the only way.

that only works against the french, germans, and swedes. burning everything between warzava and moscow has still failed to stop the crow advance

EorayMel

You got the fluffy kitty kitty!


I have one field full of crops, and then I have a second field full of identical crops nearby. Tricking any pillagers into going after that one. Works everytime

frump truck
this is my text



all crops are bastards

frump truck
this is my text



if you tuck in your shirt and then drop an ear of corn down the neck hole you'll have a crop top

EDIT i suppose this would also protect the corn in a way

Nosfereefer



e: the crows have captured moscow. the remaining parts of the government has retreated east of the caucasus. all hope is lost, lest general winter favours us this year

Ventral EggSac



Put each ear of corn in a pokeball. Cover the pokeballs in dirt

Prof. Crocodile



Just drowning people who look 'witchy' as a preemptive measure against being hexed.


thank you heather papps for this historically great sig!
thank you deep dish peat moss for preparing me for The War with dope rhymes!

nut


giving the crops guns

https://thumbs.gfycat.com/BowedParallelAcouchi-mobile.mp4
god bles manifisto for the springtime signature

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Escape From Noise

Would an advertising executive
Understand where the homeless live?
Would he know about the bubbles in his glass?
Would the bubbles in his glass
Understand what the man's golf cart is?
Do they know you can die frozen underneath an overpass?


Changing the "o" to an "a" so nobody wants to take them anymore.

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