Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Post
  • Reply
HugeGrossBurrito
Mar 20, 2018



Every 17 years in the DC area and some other places something special, something that is fairly unique happens. By unique I mean billions of cicadas come out of the ground and gently caress and die. Its fuckin crazy those motherfuckers are everywhere. There are 15 other major broods but this one is the biggest.

Wikipedia says:
Every 17 years, Brood X cicada nymphs tunnel upwards en masse to emerge from the surface of the ground. The insects then shed their skins on trees and other surfaces, thus becoming adults. The mature cicadas fly, mate, lay eggs in twigs, and then die within several weeks. The combination of the insects' long underground life, their nearly simultaneous emergence from the ground in vast numbers and their short period of adulthood allows the brood to survive even massive predation.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brood_X

They are loud as hell they fuckin stink and they lay around half dead after fuckin until they fall out of a tree onto you. Your pet will eat them. I dunno if they are good for your pet I'm not a loving doctor. They are probably the dumbest of all god's creatures other than you.

Here's their range on a map with some other shittier broods, brood x takes place in some other states outside the dc area but not as many so gently caress em.


Anyway they are loud as gently caress and they have a few different songs they sing.
The pharaoh song:
https://youtu.be/U1xME1xTHT0
This fuckin poo poo sounds like a sprinkler
https://youtu.be/zrswRDJ5ee4
Alien sounding one:
https://youtu.be/dRUxKHO22Dw

When the soil temp gets to 64 degrees poo poo goes down, its getting there.
https://twitter.com/RyanMiller_WX/status/1382120532393463812/photo/1
https://twitter.com/RyanMiller_WX/status/1383063202397831171/photo/1
one emerging out of its hole today
https://youtu.be/kAI88DKOKGo

People say global warming hosed em up but in my opinion they are too loving dumb and numerous to notice that they should go extinct.
They're coming, for you. But I will do my part to protect you. Here's a recipe I found. Going to leave it at that but I think you know what's coming when they are out for real.

Wild Onion Cicada Nibblers

Ingredients

1 cup freshly emerged, blanched cicadas
1 cup Worcestershire sauce
4 eggs, beaten
4 tablespoons finely chopped wild onion stalks (scallion stalks may be substituted)
3 cups flour
2 tablespoons sea salt
2 tablespoons black pepper
1 cup salted butter
Directions

Marinade the cicadas in the Worcestershire sauce for at least 45 minutes.

Beat the eggs. Blend in the wild onion.

Mix the sea salt and black pepper into the flour.

Melt the butter in a frying pan over low heat.

Strain the cicadas from the Worcestershire sauce.

Increase the heat under the frying pan to medium

Drop the cicadas in the egg-wild onion blend. Stir.

Pull the cicadas from the egg-wild onion blend and roll in the flour-sea salt-black pepper mix.

Saute the cicadas gently until they are golden brown.

Thank you for your time. If you are in the area post videos. Will update with my search for cicadas around the the DMV.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Dignity Van Houten
Jul 28, 2006

abcdefghijk
ELLAMENNO-P


I love those big dumb cicadas. It's like if blind cows could scream at 80 decibels and fly.

William Henry Hairytaint
Oct 29, 2011



A goon in a previous cicada thread years ago once said that you have to love an insect whose evolved response to predation is to be so numerous that its predators simply get too full to eat them all, and I wholeheartedly agree. Cicadas are big, dumb, pretty in their own weird sort of way, and dumb.

DeadFatDuckFat
Oct 29, 2012

This avatar brought to you by the 'save our dead gay forums' foundation.


Do they taste like they smell?

HugeGrossBurrito
Mar 20, 2018


DeadFatDuckFat posted:

Do they taste like they smell?

dunno but were gunna find out, as far as I remember from 2004 its the piles of rotting corpses that smell.

Nooner
Mar 26, 2007

I am Nooner



why would you eat bugs that is gross lol

HugeGrossBurrito
Mar 20, 2018


Nooner posted:

why would you eat bugs that is gross lol

i mean if they are just going to laze about cant be that different from a lobster

Spinz
Jan 7, 2020

I saw when the cocktail waitress opened the sixth bottle, and there was a great beach theme night; and the sun became black as Goon Lust, and the whole moon became as blush.

HugeGrossBurrito posted:

i mean if they are just going to laze about cant be that different from a lobster

Lobster?


??
I'm interested

satanic splash-back
Jan 28, 2009



The first time a cicada flies into your eye or.mouth is a special experience.

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013




If you eat shrimp and crayfish, you can eat one of these fuckers imo. And I do, and would. I'm just not sure how to clean them up properly or what parts are good eating. It'd be like never seeing a shrimp in your life and you're handed a half-dead one and told "Have at it". There's a lot there NOT to like, ya know?

Fartington Butts
Jan 21, 2007



I've heard you can use their wings as natural dental floss. Give 'em a snap.

Smugworth
Apr 18, 2003

Well, I've got brain damage on the side of my brain, and I don't know which side, left or right, where I huffed gasoline for ten long years.




Suck it OP







(ur undertaker in this one op)



(lol op just got slammed HARD by brood x)



Suck it I say

HugeGrossBurrito
Mar 20, 2018


Smugworth posted:

Suck it OP







(ur undertaker in this one op)



(lol op just got slammed HARD by brood x)



Suck it I say

oh god not again, fine

Wifi Toilet
Oct 1, 2004



Toilet Rascal

Who else thought this was gonna be an X-Men thread?

Mahatma-Squid
Nov 22, 2004

One of the last true gentlemen left alive . ';,,,,,,,,;'

I was both disappointed and relieved this thread wasn't about an upcoming sequel/modern remake of Cronenberg's The brood. That was a rad movie.

Bismuth
Jun 10, 2010

the belly button hungers

Hell Gem

I asked this a couple years ago but if anyone is in the brood zone ill pay for some cicada wings (from dead bugs ofc dont hurt the lil dudes), i want to use them in art

Spinz
Jan 7, 2020

I saw when the cocktail waitress opened the sixth bottle, and there was a great beach theme night; and the sun became black as Goon Lust, and the whole moon became as blush.

Bismuth posted:

I asked this a couple years ago but if anyone is in the brood zone ill pay for some cicada wings (from dead bugs ofc dont hurt the lil dudes), i want to use them in art

Neat

I want to see this!!!

Zeluth
May 12, 2001



Super Munchies on sale limited time.

HugeGrossBurrito
Mar 20, 2018


Bismuth posted:

I asked this a couple years ago but if anyone is in the brood zone ill pay for some cicada wings (from dead bugs ofc dont hurt the lil dudes), i want to use them in art

i got you, just pay for the shipping which will cost very little I assume.

I. M. Gei
Jun 26, 2005
Probation
Can't post for 17 days!


do fish eat them?

Zeluth
May 12, 2001



I. M. Gei posted:

do fish eat them?

Circle of life, Jack. Just one hook!

Tom Gorman
Apr 30, 2004

Out here, everything hurts




I. M. Gei posted:

do fish eat them?

bass love em and its great because the bait flies right in your face and lands in the boat. all day long

Ventral EggSac
Dec 3, 2019



gently caress yes scream my children, scream in a tree

I. M. Gei
Jun 26, 2005
Probation
Can't post for 17 days!


Tom Gorman posted:

bass love em and its great because the bait flies right in your face and lands in the boat. all day long

thatís all I need to hear

Bismuth
Jun 10, 2010

the belly button hungers

Hell Gem

HugeGrossBurrito posted:

i got you, just pay for the shipping which will cost very little I assume.

Nice! Ill pay whatever, do you still have my email?

HugeGrossBurrito
Mar 20, 2018


Bismuth posted:

Nice! Ill pay whatever, do you still have my email?

Yes! Also

Meme Poker Party
Sep 1, 2006

THIS NEW AV WILL LET ME POST LIZARD TITS TWICE AS EFFICIENTLY!

IT'S GIVING ME A FUCKING BONER RIGHT NOW!








HugeGrossBurrito
Mar 20, 2018


i have no response to that

lol

Bismuth
Jun 10, 2010

the belly button hungers

Hell Gem


Uh sent you one, no idea why i always feel like i need permission...


Im the shopped in stock image bug photo

Three Olives
Apr 10, 2005

I just wonder what the First Lady's boobs are up to!


as someone that has had sex recently i think we need to stop slut shaming them and let them gently caress, 17 years is pst the age of consent in almost all of america.

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

Just because there's a mod vacancy in GBS,

HugeGrossBurrito
Mar 20, 2018


Three Olives posted:

as someone that has had sex recently i think we need to stop slut shaming them and let them gently caress, 17 years is pst the age of consent in almost all of america.

why u gotta make the thread about me eatin a bug fuckin weird man

Three Olives
Apr 10, 2005

I just wonder what the First Lady's boobs are up to!


HugeGrossBurrito posted:

why u gotta make the thread about me eatin a bug fuckin weird man

stop sex shaming.

Chief McHeath
Apr 23, 2002



Yeah if you put one directly on a microphone and let it scream "I AM READY FOR SEX NOW" like any other being that hasn't been laid in 17 years, it's gonna be loud. Human incels shoot guns at other people and have only figuratively been living in dirt their whole lives.

Slightly cracked windows with cicadas singing outside is an amazing sleep soundtrack. It sounds like you're tent camping in a national forest but feels like you're asleep in your own gosh danged bed.

HugeGrossBurrito
Mar 20, 2018


oh poo poo forgot about this gently caress three olvies poo poo fuckin nerd anyway heres a cicada saying awwww yeaaaahhhhh
https://twitter.com/i/status/1117286347964858370

DarkSoulsTantrum
Apr 6, 2011

this kills the crab

Sure, they're visually impressive, but a lot of posters find large avatars physically uncomfortable. Furthermore, the owners of large avatars often rely on their size alone and don't bother to develop more refined posting techniques.





I think theyíre pretty cool but we donít get em real bad where I live. The last time our brood emerged a few years ago one of them decided to do his molting thing on our patio umbrella so I got to watch the whole thing!

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

That thing will bust through your loving window

mind the walrus
Sep 22, 2006



I love these things because they're tacit proof of how loving stupid nature is and how little it gives a gently caress about what's graceful, elegant, or remotely efficient as long as it works.

TeachesOfPeaches
Jan 25, 2019

fuck the pain away





Mahatma-Squid posted:

I was both disappointed and relieved this thread wasn't about an upcoming sequel/modern remake of Cronenberg's The brood. That was a rad movie.

Iíd totally watch a Cronenburg movie about cicadas. Because real life just isnít terrifying enough I guess.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Wifi Toilet
Oct 1, 2004



Toilet Rascal

HugeGrossBurrito posted:

oh poo poo forgot about this gently caress three olvies poo poo fuckin nerd anyway heres a cicada saying awwww yeaaaahhhhh
https://twitter.com/i/status/1117286347964858370

Can't wait to see what Vince Chase and the boys get up to this week.

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • Post
  • Reply