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FredMSloniker
Jan 2, 2008

Why, yes, I do like Kirby games.


Creature of Havoc is rightly considered one of the hardest, if not the hardest, Fighting Fantasy gamebooks. It's notorious for, among other things, being able to lose without ever making a meaningful decision, having many ways to be 'walking dead' - including large, interesting sections of the book - and containing an error that makes it impossible to complete unless you take an action the text was supposed to tell you about but doesn't. Being able to beat the book 'legit', even when you know exactly what you're doing, requires more than a little luck.

So let's cheat vigorously at it.

The way this LP works is simple. I'll put up a reference from the book. (I'm working from a kind of grotty scan, so if someone can point me to a text dump or something, I'd appreciate it.) You'll tell me what choice you want to make. To discourage just jumping on bandwagons, I'm going to implement a raffle, randomly selecting one person from everyone who chimes in and using that person's choice. We're going to keep going until we die or run out of references we haven't visited already, at which point I'll ask how far you want to rewind, and we'll pick up from there, using the same raffle system. I'll be keeping track of where we go, so once we've decided there's no point in going a certain direction, I'll take it off the list of choices.

The cheating is as follows: we'll make no rolls for combat, skills, or anything else, and we take no damage from anything. We will ride eternal, shiny and chrome. (Well, until we hit one of the many, many instadeaths or dead ends.) However, we will not cheat when it comes to items or information; if we need a bafomdad to get past the Skull Gate, our path through the book must collect it.

There's about 20 pages of lore at the start of the book, but we start knowing none of it, and it's barely relevant to the adventure, so I'm not going to bother transcribing it. I'm also going to skip character creation, since, as previously noted, our stats are Yes, so let's get stuck right in at:

Reference 1 posted:

The pain is unbearable! Summoning up all your energy, you open your eyes - first one, then the other. They narrow to slits as they adjust themselves to the strain of trying to see once more, then relax as they make out familiar shapes in the dim light: a dirt floor, rocky walls... Then the pain takes over. Your head rocks. Your eyes submit and close tightly in an agonized grimace. Instinctively you raise your hands to cup your face, and a low moan mingles with the rasping sound as your rough fingers rub the scaly skin above your eyes.

After some time the pain begins to ease. You open your eyes once more and peer out from between your gnarled fingers. You seem to be at the dead end of a passageway. Your surroundings are barely visible, but a dull glow is coming from the northern extent of the passageway, which stretches before you. A sound is also coming from this direction - of irregular breathing. Something alive is up there! You heave your great bulky body to its feet. Along your back, the spines bristle. Swinging your heavy head slowly from side to side, your progress is decided: northwards is the only option open to you. Muscles strain and succeed in raising a lumbering foot, which thuds loudly down on the ground in front of you. You repeat the action, first with one foot, then the other. After four steps the motion has become automatic. You are moving more quickly and more quietly up the passage. When you reach the end, your eyes are drawn to a huddled shape lying on the ground in front of you.

The small figure lies on its side, facing away from you. It is shrouded in a dirty brown cape tied around its neck and it lies in a puddle of thick red liquid. Its body rises and falls irregularly with each breath. Some unidentified feeling swells within you. Is it anger? Hate? Fear? Curiosity? Hunger? Or even sympathy? You bend down towards the little creature, uttering a meaningless grunt as you do.

The sound rouses the figure, which rolls slowly over to face you. The creature's dirty face is light-skinned, though barely visible under the thick hair which shades its closed eyes and almost totally obscures its mouth. From its chin the hair rolls abundantly down its chest in a grey, unruly mass. Underneath the body, and now exposed by the creature's movement, is a sharp, shiny shaft and this catches your attention.



As you stand there staring, the creature's eyes flick open! They focus on your bulky shape and a look of terror streaks across the creature's face. In spite of its pain, it fumbles for and grasps the shiny shaft, holding its pointed end out towards you and baring its teeth.

The wounded Dwarf you have found is evidently in need of help. Will you:
  • Show him you mean no harm? Turn to 93. (We haven't read this reference before.)
  • Try to talk to him? Turn to 364. (We haven't read this reference before.)
  • Bring your foot down heavily on his neck? Turn to 185. (We haven't read this reference before.)



Bad Ends so far:
  1. Had our free will taken by a Wizard before we even got it. (392)
  2. Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to work we go for the rest of our lives! (78)
  3. Working as a guard for Zharradan Marr completely of our own free will. (43)
  4. Just when we thought we were out... they pulled us back in! (37)
  5. Drank the wrong potion in Dree and lost our free will. (294)
  6. Trick question! There wasn't a right potion. (196)
  7. Trapped like a rat, then tortured like a simile. (370)
  8. At least this time we weren't mind-controlled into serving Zharradan Marr! (74)

Deaths so far:
  1. Up poo poo Creek without a paddle. (71)
  2. Same poo poo, different reference. (60)
  3. This is not how you make Swiss cheese! (99)
  4. Nibbled to death by the worst Elven marksman ever. (14)
  5. What Dark Elves lack in quality what they make up for in quantity. (260)
  6. WTF is this poo poo? (418)
  7. On the end of Morton's fork: death by floortrap... (80)
  8. ...or death by poisonous slime. (317)
  9. Fell victim to an Acme Portable Hole. (445)
  10. Step into my parlour, said the Chattermatter to the creature. (439)
  11. Floortrap hat trick. (30)
  12. Slow-roasted creature. (339)
  13. When you surrender to something called a Shadow Stalker, you get what you deserve. (135)
  14. A dead end. Geddit? Geddit? (179)
  15. It's a dead man's party. (296)
  16. See how much poo poo we have to put up with? (193)
  17. To defeat an infinite number of Chaos Warriors, you must first defeat an infinite number of Chaos Warriors. (425)
  18. This is the fifth time we've had to deal with this poo poo! (338)
  19. I'm really getting sick of this poo poo! (94)
  20. Mud wrestling is more dangerous than it looks. (108)
  21. I hope you weren't planning on sleeping this week, Jesus! (286)
  22. Deja vu: the feeling you are doing something you have done before. (98)
  23. I thought we were done with this poo poo! (345)
  24. Cannibalistic turnabout is fair play. (175, by way of 57)
  25. Don't mess with the ents. (434)
  26. Stuck like a pig. (278)
  27. You can fight, but you'll only die tired. (36)
  28. This'll dissolve the problem! (214)
  29. It's official. You suck. (175, by way of 431)
  30. Part of a two-course meal. (10)
  31. Klingon Promotion denied! (305)
  32. We aren't Ash, and we can't fight the Army of Darkness. (321)
  33. This secret passage isn't OSHA-compliant! (413)
  34. Got involved in an organ-legging operation in the worst way. (35)
  35. I've got a sinking feeling... (83)
  36. Never trust a Toadman. (68)
  37. Croaked by some Toadmen. (287)
  38. I feel like Creature tonight, like Creature tonight! (336)
  39. By their powers combined, you are Hobgoblined to death! (302)
  40. Killed a starving creature? Became a starving creature. (109)
  41. Everyone complains about the weather, but the Weather Mage did something about it. (47)
  42. "You're dead. We killed you! We killed you!" (105)
  43. I AM THE GOD OF HELLFIRE AND I BRING YOU (194)
  44. A nightmare come true! (228)
  45. An invincible skeleton, and us with no pit to drop it into! (407 <-> 178)

FredMSloniker fucked around with this message at 18:16 on May 9, 2021

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FredMSloniker
Jan 2, 2008

Why, yes, I do like Kirby games.

BraveLittleToaster posted:

I've never heard of this gamebook before, but now I want to see what it pulls off in terms of dick moves.

You're in for a treat.

Sjs00 posted:

Show him we mean no harm

Reference 93 posted:

You reach down with your hand to help him to his feet. But as you move, the little creature strikes and his sword cuts into your forearm. Luckily the tough scales prevent it from doing any real harm, but you must still lose 2 STAMINA points. Considering your size in comparison to his, his action was understandable!

Now, instead of reaching for his arm, your hand opens and grips the Dwarf's neck. You struggle to control your actions, but to no avail. Your sharp talons dig into the unfortunate creature's flesh. His eyes bulge and he tries to scream. Frantically, he hits you again with the sword, but the blow lacks power. Deduct 1 more STAMINA point. Then his body goes limp.

Your tremendous strength put the poor creature out of its misery, but the incident has left you feeling very strange. Although you wished to help the Dwarf, you have helped him only to an early grave. Will you:
  • Put these thoughts out of your mind and leave the area? Turn to 248. (We haven't read this reference before.)
  • Try to hide the body? Turn to 218. (We haven't read this reference before.)
  • Examine the body? Turn to 399. (We haven't read this reference before.)

FredMSloniker fucked around with this message at 18:28 on Apr 24, 2021

FredMSloniker
Jan 2, 2008

Why, yes, I do like Kirby games.

TheGreatEvilKing posted:

Did we just get mind controlled into killing the dwarf? What the gently caress?

Also we have...scales? Are we a mutant lizard dude?

Excellent questions, both! One of the other covers for the book makes us look a bit like a zombie yeti, but I think you're closer to how we're described in the book.

BraveLittleToaster posted:

Examine that dead body.

Reference 399 posted:

Your hands relax and the sharp claws retract into your fingers. You clumsily fumble through the Dwarf's dirty vestments. Your fingers will not fit into the pockets, but you do succeed in snapping the thongs of a large leather pouch which the creature has around its waist. As the ties break, the pouch spills its contents on the ground in front of you. It contained several circular pieces of shiny metal and a piece of hide, which unfolds as it drops out of the pouch. It is light in colour and has markings all over one side. You pick it up awkwardly and look at it, but it makes no sense at all. You become quite fascinated by this piece of leather. You turn it round, rub it with your hands and throw it in the air. You place it on your arm and on your head. You decide to take the leather with you. Unknown to you, the message on the hide may be useful later in your adventure. Turn to 337 to examine the message. If you are carrying this piece of hide, you may return to 337 at any time to re-examine it, but you will need to remember the reference you have come from in order to return and continue.

Reference 337 contains an encoded message. We'll come back to this if and when we learn the code.

Reference 399a posted:

As you may have realized by now, your own wishes have little effect on your reactions as a creature. You have only glimpses of what you are like and what you are capable of. Although this will change as the adventure progresses, at this stage you are at the mercy of your own whims and instincts. You are standing at a junction where you may go either east or west. Roll one die:
  • Roll 1, 2, or 3? Turn to 308. (We haven't read this reference before.)
  • Roll 4, 5, or 6? Turn to 148. (We haven't read this reference before.)
Remember me saying that we can lose without making any meaningful decisions? This is how. Roll wrong on this reference, or one of the following references, and you're doomed. But because we're dirty cheats, I leave the choice, blind as it is, to you!

FredMSloniker fucked around with this message at 18:29 on Apr 24, 2021

FredMSloniker
Jan 2, 2008

Why, yes, I do like Kirby games.

BraveLittleToaster posted:

Roll for the 1-2-3 count page.

Reference 308 posted:

You travel west along a twisting passageway. Several times you bump clumsily into the walls and grunt in annoyance. But your tough scales protect you from damage. The temperature drops noticeably and each breath sends steamy snorts from your nostrils. After narrowing slightly, the passage widens as it leads towards a chamber. A sound from ahead and a flickering light warn you to take care. But rather than making you stop to listen, the prospect of an encounter seems to excite you! You bare your teeth and your claws and stride forward into the chamber. Turn to 205.

Reference 205 posted:

Roaring like an enraged Demon, you rush into the open chamber, ready to take on whatever is inside. Terrified shrieks come from the small party of adventurers huddling around a makeshift campfire in the centre of the area. Three figures are warming themselves by the fire. One wears shiny clothes that clink as he moves. Another is dressed in red and also grows long dark hair from his chin. The third is a tiny creature with polished hide on his chest. He has no hair on his chin, but has plenty on his feet, which he has been holding up to warm at the fire. Your eyes fix on the smallest of the three. Your breathing gets heavier and a feeling of pure hatred grips you. Without hesitating, you stomp across and grab the miserable Hobbit with your claws. The other two are caught off balance and are slow to react. The Hobbit has no weapon and should be an easy victim:

HOBBIT    SKILL 5    STAMINA 6

Do you:
  • Defeat the Hobbit in three or fewer rounds? Turn to 160. (We haven't read this reference before.)
  • Defeat the Hobbit in more than three rounds? Turn to 86. (We haven't read this reference before.)

I'm going to digress a bit to discuss the combat rules in Fighting Fantasy and how they're different in Creature of Havoc. In a Fighting Fantasy book, you typically have three stats: SKILL, STAMINA, and LUCK. (The all-caps is insisted upon.) SKILL is a catch-all competency stat, most often used in combat but also used to complete various tasks. STAMINA is your health; when it hits zero, you're dead. LUCK is used to avoid various dangers and can be spent to reduce incoming damage or increase outgoing damage during a fight.

You roll up your initial stats at the start of the book. Usually you roll one die (Fighting Fantasy books always use standard six-siders) and add six for your SKILL and LUCK each, while STAMINA is two dice plus twelve. Various events can raise and lower your stats, but not above their initial values unless otherwise noted.

Basic combat encounters go like this: roll two dice each for you and your opponent, adding your SKILL and their SKILL to the appropriate rolls. Whoever loses (ties do nothing but waste a round) loses two STAMINA. Rinse and repeat until someone dies. You can Test your Luck (capitalization as given in the book) to change the damage done; if you're successful, you double the damage you deal or avoid damage you receive, but if you're not, you halve the damage you deal or take an additional point of damage. Whether or not you succeed, you lose a point of LUCK.

It's possible to get into combat with more than one opponent at once (though sometimes they'll wait in line like chivalrous mooks or be aggregated into a single entity). You choose who you want to attack before rolling dice, then compare your roll to each opponent's, but you can only damage the one you targeted; beating other opponents merely prevents damage from them.

Because we are a Creature of Havoc, we have a special combat rule: if we roll doubles on our attack roll, our opponent dies instantly. (The original text for this reference doesn't take this into account; the option to turn to 160 actually reads, "If you defeat the creature in three straight Attack Rounds...")

Our chance of beating this guy in a straight fight in three rounds or less, without Testing our Luck, ranges from about 68.78% (with a SKILL of 7) to about 98.72% (with a SKILL of 12). (I didn't calculate the chance that we'd lose this fight, as working out how to handle an arbitrary number of ties is more work than it's worth right now.) That said, we aren't doing a straight fight. But maybe we want to see what happens if we take too long? The choice is yours.

FredMSloniker fucked around with this message at 18:30 on Apr 24, 2021

FredMSloniker
Jan 2, 2008

Why, yes, I do like Kirby games.

Ignatius M. Meen posted:

Hobbits are chumps, we can beat him in less than three rounds.

Reference 160 posted:

As the creature dies, you sink your teeth into its arm to taste its juicy flesh. But then you remember the other two adventurers. The red-robed figure is facing you, pointing hte little finger of each hand at you and mumbling. The shiny human has grabbed a sword - similar, you remember, to the Dwarf's, but larger - and is shouting to the other: "Control its mind, shaman! It may be able to lead us to that Swinebeard cur!" You cannot fight both at once. Which will you direct your attention to? Test your Luck.
  • If you are Lucky, turn to 292. (We haven't read this reference before.)
  • If you are Unlucky, turn to 48. (We haven't read this reference before.)

We can't actually get the code before reaching this reference, incidentally, but I've gone ahead and translated it. I'm also going to go ahead and take the Unlucky path to get it out of the way...

Reference 48 posted:

Ignoring the weaker-looking of the two humans, you face the figure in clinking armour. He holds his ground, his sword poised ready to strike. Resolve your combat with the Knight in plate-armour:

ARMOURED KNIGHT SKILL 8 STAMINA 9

If you defeat him, turn to 392. (We haven't read this reference before.)

Reference 392 posted:

Your final blow sends the Knight flying across the chamber to land in a crumpled heap against one wall. You grunt in satisfaction. Your attention is drawn immediately back to the dead Hobbit lying by the fire and your mouth waters at the thought of its sweet flesh. But you have forgotten the final adventurer. The Wizard has now completed his spell. With a final incantation, he delivers his magic, directed straight at you through his two little fingers. You feel no more than a tingling sensation as his spell takes effect. "You are now under my control, foul creature." A smile spreads across the sorcerer's lips. "All my wishes are your commands. Gather my comrades and follow me!" You intend to step forward and slash him with your claws, but your muscles will not respond. Instead, you step over to the dead Knight, pick him up and carry him over your shoulder. You do the same with the Hobbit. The Wizard then turns and makes his way down the passage. You follow, carrying the rest of his party. And this will be your fate: to spend the rest of your life as a slave to your master, whose Control Creature spell has worked perfectly.

Bad end #1: had our free will taken by a Wizard before we even got it.

So how far do we backtrack, and what do we do from there?
  • From 1, Bring your foot down heavily on his neck to go to 185.
  • From 1, Try to talk to him to go to 364.
  • From 93b, Put these thoughts out of your mind and leave the area to go to 248.
  • From 93b, Try to hide the body to go to 218.
  • From 399a (with Piece of hide with coded message (337)), Roll 4, 5, or 6 to go to 148 (with Piece of hide with coded message (337)).
  • From 205 (with Piece of hide with coded message (337)), Defeat the Hobbit in more than three rounds to go to 86 (with Piece of hide with coded message (337)).
  • From 160 (with Piece of hide with coded message (337)), If you are Lucky to go to 292 (with Piece of hide with coded message (337)).
...okay, quick explanation of the format of this list. I've got a program I'm using to keep track of what we've done, and I've got some ambitions regarding that program. When you see something like '93b', that means that reference has been split into more than one reference internally; in this case, reference 93 is 'lose two STAMINA', which leads to reference 93a ('lose one STAMINA'), which leads to reference 93b ('make a choice freely'). Similarly, reference 399 is 'gain a Piece of hide with coded message (337)', which leads to reference 399a ('make a choice at random'). You don't have to worry about any of that, but if you'd rather I edit stuff like subreferences or inventory items out in future, I can do that.

FredMSloniker fucked around with this message at 18:32 on Apr 24, 2021

FredMSloniker
Jan 2, 2008

Why, yes, I do like Kirby games.

BraveLittleToaster posted:

We have the luck of the Irish Creature of Havoc. Very lucky indeed.

And you're lucky enough to get quoted.

Reference 292 posted:

Your reaction is immediate. The red-robed human is deep in thought and looks an easy target. You step forward and swipe viciously at him with your claws! He screams and falls to the ground, clutching at his face. You look down at the undefended wretch and prepare to deliver the death-blow. But at that moment, you feel a terrible sting in the back, which causes you to bellow and swing round. The remaining adventurer has lunged at you with his sword and succeeded in piercing the scales and flesh on your back! You must lose 2 STAMINA points for the wound, and then you can face the Knight in plate-armour:

ARMOURED KNIGHT    SKILL 8    STAMINA 9

If you defeat the Knight, turn to 446. (We haven't read this reference before.)

Incidentally, there are 460 numbered sections, called 'references' in a few places but largely nameless (hence 'turn to 446' instead of 'turn to reference 446' or 'turn to page 446'.)

Reference 446 posted:

You deliver the death-blow and the Knight drops to the ground. With the danger now over, your thoughts turn to food. The smell of the still-warm Hobbit reaches your nostrils and your mouth begins to water. You snatch the creature in one hand and eagerly sink your teeth into its sweet flesh. But this will merely provide a snack for you. Inside the armour, the Knight is an impossible meal, but the red-robed Wizard groaning on the floor may be a new taste for you to savour. You silence his miserable whimpers with a single deadly slash from your claws. For the tasty meal you may restore your STAMINA to its Initial level.

After you have eaten, you rummage through the adventurers' belongings. Their packs have little to interest you. The Hobbit carried a miniature sword and you find a rolled up piece of thin parchment in the Wizard's robe. All three humans carried odd-shaped lumps of a doughy substance - perhaps food, although it smells of nothing to you. They all also have small hide pouches containing round, flat objects of shiny metal. You cannot think what these may be for, so you toss them aside. You must now continue your journey. Passages lead off from the chamber to the north, east and west.

You decide to take the passageway to the west. You leave the chamber, your way ahead lit by the flickering fire. Eventually, the fire's light becomes too distant to help and you are groping your way in pitch-blackness. Suddenly a high-pitched twittering sound comes from above you, followed by others. You have disturbed a group of flying creatures, which are now squeaking in alarm as they dart about around you! You swipe at them blindly and catch one or two of them as they dive at you and scratch you with sharp claws. But your scales protect you from any serious harm and you are soon further along the passage, where these creatures evidently do not venture. The passage turns north. You follow it around the bend to the right and stop in front of a wooden door. There is no other way forward. Will you heave at the door with your shoulder or is there something else you wish to do?
  • Roll 1 or 2? Turn to 277. (We haven't read this reference before.)
  • Roll 3 - 6? Turn to 101. (We haven't read this reference before.)

I strongly suspect that "is there something else you wish to do" is a hint at another feature of Fighting Fantasy gamebooks: hidden choices. Unlike some gamebooks, which say things like "if you have found the password, turn to Page 47", in Fighting Fantasy gamebooks you'll be told something like "when you are asked for a password, add 20 to the number of the reference you're currently on and turn to that reference".

We don't have that information, however (should it exist), so another blind choice ahoy!

FredMSloniker fucked around with this message at 18:34 on Apr 24, 2021

FredMSloniker
Jan 2, 2008

Why, yes, I do like Kirby games.

Ignatius M. Meen posted:

Gonna pull the other way, what's behind doors 1 & 2?

This wasn't the winner, but I'm going to show it anyway.

Reference 277 posted:

You listen at the door and hear slithering noises followed by chomping sounds. You step back for a moment to consider what you have heard. You decide to turn back in the direction you have just come from. As you feel your way slowly along the pitch-black passage, you are again startled by the high-pitched twittering noise that you remember from your last encounter with the small flying creatures. You swat hopelessly at them and manage to hit a couple. But one swoops down and catches you painfully in the left eye! Fortunately your eye was blinking at the time and it has not been permanently damaged, but the bruise swelling up above your left cheek will keep the eye closed for some time. You must deduct 1 SKILL point. You may restore this SKILL point if at some time in the future you reach daylight. The attacks from the flying creatures continue and you decide to abandon this route and make your way back to the door. Finding it once more closed and barring your way, your jaw tightens and your lips curl back in an angry snarl. Both directions face you with danger and frustration! You step back to take a leap at the door with your fists. Turn to 101. (We haven't read this reference before.)

Roll a 1 or a 2? gently caress you, go in anyway, minus an eye!

BraveLittleToaster posted:

Roll 3-6, turn to corresponding page.

I cannot imagine what failing to bust open the door could unleash upon you other than the indignity of trying again.

There's a section in one of the Lone Wolf gamebooks where you enter combat with a door - just an ordinary, sturdy door - and any Endurance you lose represents how much you got beat up trying to force it open. It is entirely possible for a psychic ninja swordmaster to die from being locked in a room and beating himself to death.

Reference 101 posted:

The door cracks under the force of your blow. A hole appears and you rip the timbers away until it is large enough for you to pass through. Torches are mounted on the wall of the room inside and there are two doors, one to the east and one to the west. There is no furniture to speak of, but some remains - perhaps of a table and chair - litter the floor among a thin covering of dirty straw. The wood has been broken in what appears to have been a furious battle, the result of which lies before you.

In the centre of the room is a familiar sight. Casting your mind back to the battle you have just won, you recognize the figure of an armoured Knight lying face down in the straw. His face is hidden under an elegant helmet decorated with wings coming from above each ear. A dark-bladed sword has entered his body through a gap in his armour between his arm and shoulder. Lying next to the Knight are three other figures. One is similar in stature, but wears a tough leather tunic and helmet. A bloody stain around his belly indicates how this adventurer came to grief. The other two figures are not so familiar. They are shorter than the others, and are dressed in armour of scaly brown hide. They have gnarled, pug-nosed faces with vicious teeth set in their lower jaws. All four bodies are long dead.

You step forward to get a better look. Suddenly you hear a chomping sound coming from somewhere in the room - in fact several places - but you cannot see anything which might make such a noise. Your eyes pass over the adventurer in leather armour and you suddenly freeze: while you are watching, a chunk of flesh disappears from his thigh! You watch incredulously for a few moments more. Not only does more flesh disappear from the adventurer's leg, but you also notice the body of one of the pug-nosed creatures twitch as its forearm suddenly loses a fleshy lump! This scene is worrying and you must decide what to do next. Roll one die:
  • Roll 1-3 and investigate the bodies further? Turn to 234. (We haven't read this reference before.)
  • Roll 4-6 and head quickly for the door to the east? Turn to 168. (We haven't read this reference before.)

Well, at least it's not a blind random choice...

FredMSloniker fucked around with this message at 18:35 on Apr 24, 2021

FredMSloniker
Jan 2, 2008

Why, yes, I do like Kirby games.

Ignatius M. Meen posted:

Let's skedaddle east before whatever's having dinner decides they need another entree.

Reference 168 posted:

You make your way cautiously towards the door, horrified by the sight of the bodies slowly disappearing. As you step across one of the pug-nosed creatures, your foot catches something in the air. A screeching noise from somewhere is followed by a yelp of pain from you, as sharp teeth clamp on to your foot! Lose 2 STAMINA points. The shock causes you to tumble over and this frees your foot. But as you lift yourself up, something is happening in the room. Three shapes are materializing in front of you. Turn to 447. (We haven't read this reference before.)

Reference 447 posted:

Your eyes widen as three scrawny creatures form before you. They are thin and angular and move in quick, jerky motions. Although their bodies are covered in a scraggy dark fur, their bony faces are bald, with tiny eyes. In the centre of each face is an oversized, protruding mouth, rimmed with sharp teeth. These vicious little Flesh-Feeders live on carrion. While feeding they make themselves invisible to avoid being caught unawares. But in between meals they are both visible and quick-tempered.



Reference 447 posted:

They now face you, furious that their meals have been interrupted, and you must battle with the creatures. They attack together:


                     SKILL  STAMINA
First FLESH-FEEDER     6       6
Second FLESH-FEEDER    6       7
Third FLESH-FEEDER     6       6


If you defeat them, turn to 89. (We haven't read this reference before.)

Flesh-Feeders go squish!

Reference 89 posted:

You rest for a few moments to catch your breath and then you survey the room. Your curiosity overcomes you, and you begin to investigate the seven bodies in the room. The pug-faced Orcs are dirty and smelly. You try a mouthful of flesh, but spit it out in disgust. Around their waists they carry small bags which, when ripped open, send a shower of small bones flying across the room. The two adventurers are not much more interesting. Similar pouches contain those round pieces of shiny metal which you came across before. They scatter on the floor and you ignore them. The pack on the back of the adventurer in the winged helmet is decorated and attracts your attention. One of the straps breaks as you rip it off his back and grope clumsily inside; you feel something solid. As you fumble angrily with the rucksack, a hard wooden casket drops to the ground and falls open! Inside is a clear smooth flask which contains swirling purple gas. Your curiosity is captured and your huge clawed hand tries to grasp the delicate flask. But this turns out to be hopeless. Eventually, you pick up the casket and drop it on the ground. As luck would have it, the flask jumps in its cradle and lands in such a way that the stopper flips out of the flask! The purple gas within swirls tempestuously and its vapours seep slowly from the neck of the flask. Turn to 382. (We haven't read this reference before.)

Reference 382 posted:

The gas drifts from the flask, but rather than spreading out, it pulls itself together into a purple cloud and billows up before you. You watch open-mouthed as a shape begins to form in the cloud, and eventually turns into a face, which stares deep into your eyes. The face is human-like, but thin and with jagged features. The pupils of its eyes are not round, but are instead serpent-like. Its thin-lipped mouth opens and speaks: "I am released from my rest. Foul creature, what do you know of the forces with which you tamper? But nonetheless my purpose is ordained. I bestow on you the power of reason. From now on you are in control of your own destiny. And now may I return to my peaceful rest until once more the heavens take their positions."

Your anger mounts and you swipe at the cloud. But your hand passes right through the gas without even disturbing it. The mysterious face blinks slowly and the colour of the cloud flashes momentarily from purple to white, and back to purple again. Then the face disappears and the cloud is sucked down back into its flask. Once safely inside the flask, the stopper replaces itself in the neck and the bottle settles into its cradle in the wooden casket. An instant later, the casket and its contents have faded to nothing!

You decide you have had enough of this room, but you may add 2 LUCK points for your find. Will you:
  • Leave through the door to the east? Turn to 33. (We haven't read this reference before.)
  • Leave through the door to the west? Turn to 51. (We haven't read this reference before.)

...hm. We aren't being asked to roll all of a sudden.

FredMSloniker fucked around with this message at 22:19 on Apr 25, 2021

FredMSloniker
Jan 2, 2008

Why, yes, I do like Kirby games.

Man, I remember the days of :goleft:. Back when I used :downs: like it was going out of style.

Reference 51 posted:

You leave the room along a passageway which runs west, your thoughts still dwelling on the mysterious smoke creature. After a short time, you find that the passage is bending this way and that through the rocky earth. But your progress is aided by the strange blue gemstones which are set into the roof of the passage. As you progress, glowstones ahead of you light up and bathe the area in an eerie blue light. When you look behind, you can see that they magically turn themselves off. Suddenly a distant echo reaches your ears and you stop dead in your tracks. Again you hear the sound - and it is coming closer! Footsteps and muffled voices are heading towards you. You are fortunate in having the advantage that your own footsteps are virtually silent, so you continue ahead, ready for a fight with anything that may come along. You approach a bend...

A shrill scream pierces the air and for an instant you are not sure whether it came from your own throat or that of the terrified adventurer with whom you suddenly found yourself nose to nose, when you turned the bend! But you recover quickly and slash furiously at the hapless human, who is still trying to compose himself after his fright. You catch him across the skimpy leather armour he wears on his chest, and send him crashing into the rocky wall where he loses his grip on the sword he is carrying. His two companions are close behind, so you must finish off the Strongarm without delay:

STRONGARM    SKILL 7    STAMINA 8

If you defeat the warrior, turn to 320. (We haven't read this reference before.)

Reference 320 posted:

As their leader falls, the other two adventurers rush to attack. One is a female warrior and the other is a thief. Both are carrying shields and both attack you at the same time:

         SKILL  STAMINA
WARRIOR    7       7
THIEF      8       6

If you defeat both of them, turn to 281. (We haven't read this reference before.)

Reference 281 posted:

You poke around the bodies of the three dead ruffians. Something shining on the wrist of the third adventurer catches your attention. Clumsily you rip at the clothing of all three, eventually exposing three objects of interest. The leading adventurer wore, around his neck, a pendant made of a dull, dark metal on a leather thong. The third adventurer wore two wrist bracelets of a shining yellow metal. The other carried a pouch containing 12 small flat discs of a shiny metal. Which of these is of the most interest to you:
  • The dull metal pendant? Turn to 306. (We haven't read this reference before.)
  • The pouch containing the discs? Turn to 412. (We haven't read this reference before.)
  • The two wrist bracelets? Turn to 259. (We haven't read this reference before.)

FredMSloniker fucked around with this message at 18:36 on Apr 24, 2021

FredMSloniker
Jan 2, 2008

Why, yes, I do like Kirby games.
Incidentally, I'm implementing a policy change. When we die or get stuck, I'll rewind to the earliest opportunity to get somewhere new rather than asking how far you want to rewind. I'm concerned that you might get lucky and miss some of the carnage. :v:

FredMSloniker
Jan 2, 2008

Why, yes, I do like Kirby games.

Maigius posted:

Let's check out The two wrist bracelets! I like the way you're handling suggestions on this adventure.

Thank you! I've used the raffle format in previous LPs. I feel it encourages people to pick what they want, not what they think will win.

Reference 259 posted:

You wrench the bracelets from the wrists of your foe. They make a tinny clinking sound as you turn them over in your hand and you admire the intricate carvings which decorate them. Even in the meagre light of the glowstones, they shine in an alluring way. You can make them wide enough to fit around your own wrists, and when you have put them on, you proudly hold them up before you and turn them this way and that. You may discover during your travels that these bracelets have a special ability, which will be revealed to you later. Add 1 LUCK point for your find. Now turn to 115. (We haven't read this reference before.)

In case you're wondering, the reason you keep seeing "We haven't read this reference before" is that the program I wrote to keep track of what we've done so far produces one of four messages for each choice we're given:
  • "We haven't read this reference before." We'll be seeing a lot of that, given there are 460 references.
  • "We've read this reference, but not in this state." Something about our situation is different from any other time we've read this reference: different inventory, status ailments, what have you. So we may be able to do something different by going that way.
  • "We've been here on a previous run." We've not only read that reference, but read it in our current state. When this comes up, I'll check if we can get anywhere new from there and add a note to that effect.
  • "We've been here this run." This is a sign that we've gone in a circle. There are many circles in the book, some of which can be escaped, at least one of which cannot. We're not allowed to choose these options; when we get into a situation where we have no options we can choose, it counts as a softlock, and we rewind.

Reference 115 posted:

Before you finally leave the adventurers, you may decide to feed on them. If you do, you gain 4 STAMINA points. Then you continue. All is silent as you walk carefully along the passage. Eventually, your ears pick up the sound of running water, and the air becomes moist and cool. The sensation would be quite refreshing if it were not for an unpleasant smell, which gets stronger as the sound of the water becomes louder. Soon you find yourself on a ledge in the face of a rocky cliff. Looking out, you can see you are high over a vast cavern through which a river flows. Leading down from your ledge into the centre of the cavern is a flight of rough-cut stairs. This precarious staircase spans the river and is the only way onwards, but the thought of descending the stairs is not one which fills you with enthusiasm. The narrow steps have been made for human-sized feet and your large pads will make your descent awkward. The smell, which was unpleasant before, is now horrendous and seems to be coming from the river itself. Its waters are murky brown and the smell of excrement and decay is overpowering. Nevertheless, your only way on is downwards, so down you must go. Test your Luck.
  • If you are Lucky, turn to 166. (We haven't read this reference before.)
  • If you are Unlucky, turn to 71. (We haven't read this reference before.)

Let's stick our metaphorical finger in the reference and see what happens if we're Unlucky, shall we?

Reference 71 posted:

You try to keep your balance as you descend the narrow stairs, but they are damp and slippery. At one point you slip and totter perilously near the edge before regaining your balance and continuing down. But six steps later, you lose your balance once again, and this time you are not lucky enough to regain it. You plunge over the edge of the staircase and down, down into the filthy depths of the Bilgewater River below. The impact is enough to knock you senseless. And, unable to fight against the current, you are swept downstream to oblivion.

Death #1: up poo poo Creek without a paddle.

But that's not how it happened.

Reference 166 posted:

The descent is dangerous and several times you lose your footing and stumble on the slippery steps. But your luck holds out and you finally arrive at the foot of the staircase. The stench of the river is especially foul to your sensitive nostrils and your eyes search desperately for a way out of the cavern. You discover two openings in the rock-face ahead of you. One leads to the west and the other to the north. Will you:
  • Continue north? Turn to 358. (We haven't read this reference before.)
  • Turn west? Turn to 77. (We haven't read this reference before.)

FredMSloniker fucked around with this message at 18:38 on Apr 24, 2021

FredMSloniker
Jan 2, 2008

Why, yes, I do like Kirby games.

BraveLittleToaster posted:

Take the northern passage.

Reference 358 posted:

A passage leads into the opening into the rock-face, and you follow it. But you find that, as you travel north, the light fades rapidly. There are no glowstones in this passage and you must progress carefully, steadying yourself by running your hands along both walls. The ground underfoot is rocky and several times you stub your toes painfully on protruding stones. Later, you can no longer touch both walls at once. Although you are unable to see anything, you sense that you are entering a large chamber. Turn to 257.

I'm gonna stop putting in the 'we've never been here before' stuff. I've changed how that output works anyway.

Reference 257 posted:

You cannot see a thing. Your feet shuffle noisily through the straw which covers the floor, as you grope around the walls for a way out. If this cavern is the lair of another creature, then you may well be walking straight towards it! But you hear no sounds other than your own and eventually you reach a hole in the rock, which is large enough for you to walk through and leads to a passageway. You continue slowly along the passage, still groping your way, but you stop when a blue light flicks on in front of you. The welcome hue of a glowstone makes you blink and turn away until your eyes become accustomed to the light. When you are finally able to take in your surroundings, you find that you are at a junction where you may either:
  • Turn east. Turn to 61.
  • Turn west. Turn to 309.

FredMSloniker fucked around with this message at 18:38 on Apr 24, 2021

FredMSloniker
Jan 2, 2008

Why, yes, I do like Kirby games.

MaskedHuzzah posted:

West, to page 309 please.

Reference 309 posted:

The passage continues west, then turns sharply to the right. A few paces along the corridor you reach a junction where you can either:
  • Go north. Turn to 371.
  • Go west. Turn to 280.

FredMSloniker fucked around with this message at 18:39 on Apr 24, 2021

FredMSloniker
Jan 2, 2008

Why, yes, I do like Kirby games.

Eeepies posted:

West, west, west

Reference 280 posted:

A short distance along the passageway you stop and listen. Distant footsteps and the clanking of metal warn you that creatures of some sort are heading in your direction. Do you wish to:
  • Return to the junction and head north. Turn to 371.
  • Continue in this direction. Turn to 342.

No, we're not going to turn around.

Reference 342 posted:

The footsteps and clanking get louder and louder. You can feel your anger rising and your lips curl back to bare your teeth. Suddenly the footsteps stop and you hear hissing noises. They have heard you approach! The passageway is rough and twisting and you are straining to see any signs of them ahead. You step nearer and nearer; and they are doing likewise. Finally, you reach a length of straight passageway. Ahead you can see the dull light of a glowstone and picked out in the light are two human faces. Evidently they can see you too, as their reaction is similar: you stare at each other for a few moments. They hold their ground. Do you want to:
  • Attack. Turn to 258.
  • Wait and see what they do. Turn to 432.

FredMSloniker fucked around with this message at 18:39 on Apr 24, 2021

FredMSloniker
Jan 2, 2008

Why, yes, I do like Kirby games.

Kobal2 posted:

gently caress 'em up, son. Yer a creature now Harry !

Reference 258 posted:

With bared teeth and claws at the ready, you storm along the passage towards them. They stand their ground, draw their weapons and prepare themselves for battle. The leading adventurer lays a brown sack on the ground and raises his weapon as you approach. You must fight both adventurers one at a time; the passageway is not wide enough for them both to attack:

                    SKILL  STAMINA
WARRIOR               8       9
FIGHTER IN
    LEATHER ARMOUR    7       8

If you defeat them both, turn to 13.

Reference 13 posted:

As the last adventurer falls to the ground and silence once more fills the passageway, you pause to rest from the exertion. You squat on your haunches and look at the two battered humans in front of you. You may now choose to:
  • Feast on the bodies to regain some of your lost strength. Turn to 223.
  • Poke through the sack that the first adventurer laid to one side. Turn to 147.
  • Search the bodies for anything that might be interesting. Turn to 187.

FredMSloniker fucked around with this message at 18:40 on Apr 24, 2021

FredMSloniker
Jan 2, 2008

Why, yes, I do like Kirby games.

bbcisdabomb posted:

Everybody knows the interesting stuff is in the sack.

Reference 147 posted:

There is something solid inside the sack. You fumble with the cloth, but cannot seem to find a way inside. Eventually you become frustrated, pick the sack up and shake it.

A small wooden casket drops out. As it lands on the ground, the catch flips open. Inside is a flask and the bump has loosened the stopper. You watch as a green liquid inside bubbles and boils, turning to a green gas which slowly seeps from the neck of the flask and drifts upwards in the air before you. You are mesmerized by the swirling mists which gradually become recognizable as a face! It is thin, with angular features and is decidedly human. Eventually its eyes open and stare into yours. "I have been awakened from my slumber! Who calls on the vapour of tongues? The heavenly bodies have taken their positions. My gift is granted. For better or for worse my release bestows on you the understanding you desire. May you use your gift wisely." Having said these words, the green gas swirls once more and the face disappears. As if sucked by force, it disappears once more into the flask. Once it is inside, the flask and the casket begin to fade. Moments later they have disappeared! But your unintentional encounter with the Vapour of Tongues has been fortunate. The spirit has bestowed upon you its gift of language. From now on you will understand most languages as spoken or written. You may translate coded speech by turning to reference 283, where you will find the secret of the code.



Reference 283 posted:

You were able to understand the last sentence of the spirit's words as it has passed on its gift. Throughout the book you will find coded speech. Now that you have the gift of understanding, you can translate the code. Otherwise all speech seems incomprehensible to your creature's mind. The secret is this. There are three rules to this code. Firstly, each vowel is replaced by the following letter (thus A becomes B, U becomes V, etc.) Secondly, spaces between words are replaced by the last vowel to have been used. Thus all vowels mean nothing; they only indicate spaces between words. Finally, the actual spaces between words as they appear are entirely random. They mean nothing and serve only to mislead. With this information you may now continue by turning to 137. Add 1 LUCK point for this discovery. But note this reference as you may want to return to it later to translate code.

There are a few issues with the code as given. For one thing, you're given the instructions to encode text, when what you're actually going to want to do is decode text. For that, you need to:
  • Remove all spaces from the text.
  • Replace all vowels with spaces.
  • Replace each of B, F, J, P, and V with A, E, I, O, and U respectively.
    And, most importantly,
  • Try to guess which of those Bs, Fs, Js, Ps, and Vs really were Bs, Fs, Js, Ps, and Vs originally. Because the encoding turns As into Bs, but doesn't change Bs.
At any rate, I won't make you do that. However, if we want to act on information we've received through coded text, we need to have learned this code; we can't carry this knowledge through future runs. (I've also edited the translations of text into earlier posts, in case you're curious.)

Now that we can actually read the hide, let's see what it says:

Reference 337 posted:

"Swinebeard of yore. You have been found guilty of the crime of willful and malicious arson, a most serious offence in the dry regions of Salamonis. As punishment, you are sentenced to undertake a perilous mission of recovery. You must travel northwards and enter the underground domain of Zharradan Marr, there to seek out and recover flasks containing swirling vapours. These are the vapours of Stittle Woad. You must find the three flasks containing these vapours and return them to this court. ON NO ACCOUNT MUST THEY BE OPENED. This is the sentence of the court and the geas has been cast. This is your punishment. You must succeed in your mission or die in the attempt."

Underneath this writing is more, but written in a different style: "Vapour of knowledge / - Flaxenmane of Silverton = / - Winged helmet."

Okay. So the guy we killed right at the beginning had this hide, which tells us that there are three vapours [British sic] of Stittle Woad. I'm guessing that the guy whose body we looted in the room with the Flesh-Feeders was Flaxenmane of Silverton, as he was wearing a winged helmet and had that purple gas on him. Does that make the guy who had this hide Silverbeard? And where's the third vapour of Stittle Woad? Mysterious.

Reference 137 posted:

Bewildered by your experience, you wander off north along a main passageway. You soon reach a junction where you must decide whether to:
  • Continue north. Turn to 144.
  • Turn east. Turn to 204.

FredMSloniker fucked around with this message at 22:18 on Apr 25, 2021

FredMSloniker
Jan 2, 2008

Why, yes, I do like Kirby games.

Ignatius M. Meen posted:

We've been stumbling into the good poo poo so far it seems.

We really have. That doesn't necessarily mean we're on the winning path, though! You thought there'd be a spoiler here, didn't you?

Arcvasti posted:

The book keeps asking us to eat people, so I'm beginning to suspect that eventually there'll be a passage that just says "if you've eaten anyone, you loving lose right here".

Ha! Yes, that's the sort of shenanigans this book would pull, isn't it? No, I'm not spoiling this either.

BraveLittleToaster posted:

Most intriguing. Maybe less intriguing to a Creature such as we.

Once again voting for eastwards.

Reference 204 posted:

The passage runs straight ahead until you reach a solid wooden door. It is locked and looks much too sturdy for you to break down. But in the centre of the door is a huge metal plate with a heavy ball pivoted above it. Will you:
  • Use the ball to hit the plate to attract the attention of whoever is inside. Turn to 435.
  • Return to the junction and take the passage to the north. Turn to 144.

If we wanted to turn to 144, we would have done it before.

Reference 435 posted:

The heavy knocker booms loudly on the metal plate. A grunting noise comes from behind the door and you can hear feet shuffling as some sort of creature responds to your knock. The door slowly creaks open and a long snout appears. Small, pig-like eyes peer out at you from behind the single tusk which stands in the middle of the Rhino-Man's face. The door opens wider and you can see the creature's stout, heavily armed torso and legs. It speaks to you: ""Come on, then. What business have you here? Answer quickly."



Reference 435 posted:

If you can understand the creature, turn immediately to reference sixty two. "Lost your tongue, eh? Then begone. Be off with you before I decide to have a little battle practice." He is closing the door without letting you in. Will you:
  • Perform a hidden action. Turn to 62.
  • Leave, return to the junction and take the northern passage. (You can't do this because you have the gift of knowledge.)
  • Shove the door and step in to attack. (You can't do this because you have the gift of knowledge.)

Oooh, intriguing. (In future, if we hit one of these 'turn immediately to' bits, do you want me to omit the rest of the reference text, or would you rather see what could have happened?)

Reference 62 posted:

"Are you also one of Marr's creatures?" he growls. When you look puzzled, he snorts. "If you don't know, then you must be looking for either the Yellowstone Mines or the Testing Grounds in Knot Oak Wood. Looking at the size of you, I'd reckon the Testing Grounds were more likely. Darramouss will know. He knows everything that happens in these parts. He'll set you right. But don't cross him. Even one of your size cannot hope to tangle with such a foul-tempered lifeless one. And if you make it to the Testing Grounds, oblige me by finding... oh, what was his symbol? They don't have names in the Testing Grounds - except for that foul-breathed weapon-master, Thugruff. Legionnaire twenty-nine, I think: a Rhino-Man like me. If he's still alive, he ought to know this: Gat H'Oulie has escaped with the ring to the Forest of Spiders! But of course, you cannot speak, can you? Here, I'll write it down for you." He hands you the message. If you come across "Legionnaire twenty-nine" later in your adventure, you may pass on the message by adding his number to the reference you are on at the time when you identify him.

You rise to leave the guardroom. The Rhino-Man gives you directions. "Leave through the north door here. When you arrive at the T-junction, turn right and follow the passage." You take his advice. Turn to 298.

Hm. How do we indicate to the Rhino-Man that we understand him? We can't speak, and the text doesn't indicate us performing elaborate charades. At any rate, new information! I'll just jot that down.

Reference 298 posted:

You decide to choose the eastward passage, and you follow it to a sharp bend to the right. Almost immediately after the bend you find yourself at the foot of a staircase and you climb the stairs carefully. Then a corridor leads straight ahead southwards until you reach a T-junction where you may:
  • Turn east. Turn to 373.
  • Turn west. Turn to 401.

Two notes here. One, the text at the beginning of this reference suggests it's possible to get here without getting the Rhino-Man's directions, in which case we would have had to choose blindly. Two, in at least once instance, the directions the book gives are wrong - that is to say, we may want to follow the Rhino-Man's directions and turn east, but 373 may actually be the passage for going west. Or it may not. At any rate, the choice is yours!

FredMSloniker fucked around with this message at 22:20 on Apr 25, 2021

FredMSloniker
Jan 2, 2008

Why, yes, I do like Kirby games.
By the way, while the book normally just says 'turn to n' for choices, the few times it refers to what these numbered sections are, it uses the term 'reference'. I've gone back and edited any instances of 'page' accordingly. (The book does have pages - the rules and lore text are numbered - but those numbers stop once the references start.)

FredMSloniker
Jan 2, 2008

Why, yes, I do like Kirby games.

BraveLittleToaster posted:

Rhino-Man has helpfully provided some context for whatever this place is now, at least.

Continue the quest to go further east.

Well, you know what they say: when there's only one candidate...

Reference 373 posted:

The rocky corridor continues for some time and then turns sharply southwards. Ahead of you, at the end of the passage, is a sturdy wooden door; to your left is another door. Will you:
  • Try the door straight ahead. Turn to 15.
  • Try the door to your left. Turn to 241.

...the Rhino-Man didn't say anything about this.

FredMSloniker
Jan 2, 2008

Why, yes, I do like Kirby games.

BraveLittleToaster posted:

The sturdier the door, the more it means the more important stuff is behind it.

Straight on ahead.

Reference 15 posted:

All is silent as you enter. The room is large, with a high ceiling, and a musty smell permeates the air. There are four doors leading from the room, one in each wall. A long table stands in the middle of the room and on it is a short stick with a metal head lying next to some small spikes. A couple of planks of wood are resting against the table. This is evidently a workroom of some sort. In one corner of the room you find the products of the work carried on here. Two tall and thin wooden boxes, almost as tall as you are, are leaning against the wall. They are standing next to a hole in the wall, just above floor-level, which is wide enough to fit one of the boxes through. You puzzle over this for some time.

What do you want to do:
  • Have a look inside the boxes? Turn to 217.
  • Investigate the hole in the wall? Turn to 319.
  • Ignore what you see? Turn to 436.

FredMSloniker
Jan 2, 2008

Why, yes, I do like Kirby games.

habituallyred posted:

Investigate Boxes

And I would be interested in seeing what we miss in the case of automatic references.

Duly noted!

MaskedHuzzah posted:

Theory about the room: Those are coffins and the hole goes to a crematorium.

Survey says!

Reference 217 posted:

You step over to the two boxes and shake one of them. Something soft and heavy bumps about inside. This arouses your curiosity and you search for a means of opening the box. But none is apparent. In your frustration, you tip the box over and it crashes to the ground. Your attention focuses on the wider end as a splitting sound from within the box gets louder. Suddenly a crack appears in the wood! Then another! Finally, the front of the box smashes apart and your eyes widen as they catch sight of the hideous thing within...

A human shape appears - or rather, something resembling a human corpse. But it is not dead, as its thin lips are slowly curling back to reveal sharp teeth and a forked tongue. In an instant, the creature suddenly sits bolt upright and turns its head towards you! Its eyes flick open.



*ding!*

Reference 217 posted:

"Who disturbs the rest of the cursewitches? Foul creature, you dabble with what you do not understand. None may interfere with our peace save for Zharradan Marr the master. You must be taught to respect the sleep of the undead and you must be made to feel the wrath of the cursewitches."

The creature's eyes fix on to your own. They glow white and you find you cannot break from the gaze. When its eyes finally close, you feel strangely light-headed. As if in a trance, you step away from the corner and head towards the door in the east wall. You open it, step through and it closes behind you. Only then do your thoughts return to normal. But you are far from normal. You have been cursed and, until you are able to find someone who can remove the curse, your Initial SKILL has been reduced by 2 points and your Initial STAMINA by 5. If your current SKILL and STAMINA points exceed these limits, you must reduce them as necessary. Now you may continue by turning to 436.

Ouch. (Note that his speech is encoded, so it's possible to get here without the gift of language.)

Reference 436 posted:

You have four doors to choose from. Will you try the door in:
  • The east wall? Turn to 49.
  • The north wall? Turn to 262.
  • The south wall? Turn to 201.
  • The west wall? Turn to 409.

In case it influences your choice, I peeked; the door in the west wall isn't the same door we just came through.

FredMSloniker fucked around with this message at 22:23 on Apr 25, 2021

FredMSloniker
Jan 2, 2008

Why, yes, I do like Kirby games.
By the way, I've added illustrations for the Flesh-Feeders, the Vapour of Tongues, and the Rhino-Man to previous posts, courtesy of The Fighting Fantasy Project. (That's also where I got the other illustrations.)

FredMSloniker
Jan 2, 2008

Why, yes, I do like Kirby games.
Remember how I said I peeked at the west door?

Reference 409 posted:

You tug at the door and it opens to reveal a storeroom of some kind, with shelves lining the walls. But there is nothing on the shelves and there seems to be no way through. As you peer into the cupboard, a creaking sound startles you. You swing round to see the door in the east wall slowly opening. Glowstones in the passage outside flick on to light up your way. You cannot resist this invitation and leave through the east door. Turn to 49.

I also peeked at the north door...

Reference 262 posted:

You step over to the door in the north wall. But as you grasp the handle, a deep creaking sound comes from behind you. You swing round to see the door in the east wall slowly opening. Glowstones in the passage beyond the door flick on to light up your way. You cannot resist this invitation, and you leave through the east door. Turn to 49.

...and the south door.

Reference 201 posted:

The door in the south wall opens to reveal a short, narrow corridor. But as you are considering whether or not to step through the door, a creaking sound comes from behind you. You swing round to see the door in the east wall slowly opening. Glowstones in the passage outside flick on to light up your way. You cannot resist this invitation, and you leave through the east door. Turn to 49.

So yeah. Unless there's a hidden action on any of those references, we're off to...

Reference 49 posted:

The passage leads east. A short distance ahead, you arrive at a rocky bridge across a deep chasm. Far below you can hear the sloshing of a slow-moving river and you step up to the edge of the bridge to get a better look. A disgusting smell is coming up from the river, and as this hits your nostrils, you stagger a few paces backwards. But this is the only way on. The bridge is narrow and wet from the moisture in the air: no doubt it is slippery too. Nevertheless, you have no choice. You hold your breath and step on to the bridge. But halfway across, you lose your footing on the slippery bridge. Test your Luck. If you are Lucky, turn to 457. If you are Unlucky, turn to 60.

As you might guess, being Unlucky here leads to...

Reference 60 posted:

You try to regain your footing, but the bridge is too slippery. You lose your balance completely and tumble over the edge and down, down towards the stinking waters below. The current drags you down and your lungs fill with the putrid waters of the Bilgewater. Your death is not pleasant...

Death #2: same poo poo, different reference.

Reference 457 posted:

You regain your footing and hurry across the bridge to the other side. Shaken by your near accident, you continue until you arrive at a side passage on the right. You do not like the look of this side passage, so you continue eastwards. Turn to 122.

Reference 122 posted:

You follow the passage eastwards, peering ahead as the glowstones flick on to light your way. Eventually you arrive at two doors and you listen for any clues as to what may be beyond. No noise comes from behind the door in the north wall. But there are definite sounds coming from behind the door in the east wall. A heavy breathing is unmistakable and is interrupted by loud snorts. This sounds ominous. Do you wish to:
  • Charge the door in the east wall? Turn to 263.
  • Try the door in the north wall? Turn to 154.

FredMSloniker
Jan 2, 2008

Why, yes, I do like Kirby games.

someone awful. posted:

Let's avoid ominous things and go north.

Reference 154 posted:

The door is locked. It may be possible to break it down, but you could damage your shoulder, as the timbers are heavy. Do you wish to:
  • Try breaking the door? Turn to 396.
  • Try the door in the east wall? Turn to 263.

In for a penny, in for a pound.

Reference 396 posted:

The door cracks as you charge it and eventually you break into the room, but not before you take 1 STAMINA point of damage for a sore shoulder. The room inside has no occupants. Instead a single desk is surrounded on three sides by racks of parchments, each rolled up neatly and tied with string. A door in the east wall is half hidden behind the untidy racks. Do you want to:
  • Head out through this door? Turn to 365.
  • Pick up a parchment and see what it says? Turn to 100.

FredMSloniker
Jan 2, 2008

Why, yes, I do like Kirby games.

bbcisdabomb posted:

Following the directions on random pieces of parchment has never steered anyone wrong, has it?

Reference 100 posted:

The rolls of parchment are meaningless to you. You step up to the desk and grab one which is open. But as you touch it, a loud noise startles you. You wheel round and your eyes widen as you see a hideous beast taking shape in the corner, materializing out of thin air! It is taller and bulkier than you, and its rough skin looks to be made, not out of living flesh, but out of the rock itself! Its huge fists are covered in irregular bumps and its eyes glare at you in fury from its wide-mouthed face.



Reference 100 posted:

The Rock Demon you are facing takes a step towards you and you must quickly decide what to do. The creature looks much more powerful than you are. Will you:
  • Battle the Demon? Turn to 327.
  • Escape through the door in the east wall? Turn to 365.
  • Escape through the door in the south wall, through which you entered? Turn to 450.

Think fast! I'll take the next choice.

FredMSloniker fucked around with this message at 01:21 on Apr 26, 2021

FredMSloniker
Jan 2, 2008

Why, yes, I do like Kirby games.

Maigius posted:

Go to the East. South seems like the way we came.

It is indeed. I amended that reference entry (since the book does mention that), but it must have been after you decided to cast your vote.

Reference 365 posted:

The door opens into a straight passage leading east, which you follow until you reach a dead end. You growl in frustration and, as if your voice had acted as some kind of trigger, you hear a click and a sliding sound. Part of the rock-face slides aside and reveals another passage running north and south! You step through the secret doorway cautiously, wary of a trap. When you are through, the door grinds shut again. But at the same time there is another sound, which seems to be coming from above you. Just in time you look up to see a heavy portcullis dropping from the roof towards you! You fling yourself forward not an instant too soon. A heavy clang sounds behind you as the portcullis hits the ground. You escaped death by inches!

Since you hurled yourself north, the way to the south is now sealed off by the portcullis, and you pick yourself up and set off north. Soon you reach a crossroads where you may:
  • Continue northwards? Turn to 443.
  • Turn east? Turn to 50.
  • Turn west? Turn to 213.

FredMSloniker
Jan 2, 2008

Why, yes, I do like Kirby games.

Reference 213 posted:

You reach a dead end. The light is dim and it is difficult to see, so you grope around for a possible way onwards. There is none to be found. You turn round and return to the crossroads. Will you now:
  • Continue east? Turn to 50.
  • Continue north? Turn to 443.

Well, that was pointless.


Reference 50 posted:

The passage continues east and you pass under two carved archways before you finally find yourself in a small, circular room with no apparent way onwards. While you are considering what to do, you feel a slight shift in the ground beneath your feet. Almost as if you had pressed some invisible switch, your surroundings have now changed! Frantically, you look round to find the tunnel by which you entered, but it has disappeared. There is now no way out of the room. A rumbling noise from beneath the floor is followed by a fierce roaring. But this is not the roaring of a creature! Smoke seeps from the walls and you begin to sweat as the temperature increases. The room is becoming an oven in which you are beginning to roast! As the temperature becomes unbearable, you search round for any means of escape. Are you wearing a pair of yellow metal bracelets? If so, turn to 202. If not, turn to 339.

As it happens, we are, looted back on 259.

Reference 202 posted:

The heat is becoming unbearable. Your thick scales serve only to make matters worse and you drag yourself round the walls, searching desperately for a way out of the furnace. You pound on the rock, hoping to find a loose stone, but there is none. However, at one point you bash the two bracelets together. The ringing sound becomes unnaturally loud and, as it does so, the roarings of the furnace subside. The vibrations on your wrists increase and eventually all is calm and the temperature has been restored to normal. An opening appears in the west wall and you can leave. You arrive at a familiar crossroads, but this time you choose a different direction. Will you:
  • Continue westwards? Turn to 213.
  • Turn right? Turn to 443.

We've already seen 213, and the only new place we can get from there is 443.

Reference 443 posted:

You follow the passage to the north until you reach a junction. To the left you can see that the passage soon reaches a dead end; but on a ledge in the end wall is a large orb of clear stone. To the right you can see that the passage disappears around a bend heading northwards. Will you:
  • Turn left? Turn to 155.
  • Turn right? Turn to 81.

FredMSloniker
Jan 2, 2008

Why, yes, I do like Kirby games.

MaskedHuzzah posted:

Orbs are typically pretty useful, so Turn left? Turn to 155.

Reference 155 posted:

You approach the orb. Its perch is only slightly above your head and you reach up to take it in your hands. But as your fingers close around it, you suddenly leap away! Although its appearance gives no warning, it feels red hot to the touch! Lose 1 STAMINA point for the burns. Then a shape begins to form in the crystal. Moments later, a shrivelled, death-like human face within the orb opens its eyes and glares at you. Its mouth begins to speak and an eerie voice booms out along the corridor: "Foolish creature. Did you think you could thieve the Orb of Darramouss? None may touch my sacred crystal, for it is my eyes and ears. And my weapons, as you shall see." What will you do now? Do you wish to:
  • Wait and see what the face in the orb does next? Turn to 428.
  • Leave it and take the other branch of this passage? Turn to 81.
  • Return to the crossroads and go east? Turn to 50.
  • Return to the crossroads and go west? Turn to 213.

All going back to the crossroads will do is force us to eventually turn to 81.

FredMSloniker
Jan 2, 2008

Why, yes, I do like Kirby games.

BraveLittleToaster posted:

Wait and see what the shiny orb does to us.

Reference 428 posted:

The face swirls within the murky mist inside the orb and you watch to see what will happen next. Gradually the face re-forms, but this time it looks larger than before and the sightless eyes begin to glow red like hot coals. Suddenly a small fireball shoots from one eye straight towards you! You jump to avoid it but it catches your leg below the knee and makes you howl in pain. The second eye releases its fireball and this one hits you on your arm just above the elbow. Lose 4 STAMINA points for these injuries. Leave quickly by turning to 81.

Reference 81 posted:

The passage turns to the left and you follow it for some time until you feel that perhaps this corridor has no end! Eventually you see a particularly dark area straight ahead. Will you:
  • Go back? Turn to 279.
  • Investigate the area? Turn to 20.

I'm going to go ahead and peek:

Reference 279 posted:

You turn back towards the crossroads. On the way back, you may stop to examine the orb, if you have not done so already, by turning to 155. Otherwise continue on to the crossroads and you may take either:
  • Take the passage to the east? Turn to 50.
  • Take the passage to the west? Turn to 213.

Wandering around will eventually lead to reference 20 being the only new place we can go, so...

Reference 20 posted:

You find yourself at a dead end: there is no way through. You will have to retrace your steps. Turn to 279.

Welp.

Softlock #1: lost underground without a clue.

I'll make another post shortly.

FredMSloniker
Jan 2, 2008

Why, yes, I do like Kirby games.

Kobal2 posted:

EDIT : I forget, was Daramouss mentioned in the 20+ pages backstory?

Here's a quick summary of the lore: let me know if there's anything specific you care about.

Romeena Dree, a hag-witch, was exiled from Salamonis for practicing the forbidden art of marrangha, or magical organ transplants, and attempting to create a hybrid super-creature. Other hag-witches followed her there, and they founded the village of Dree to continue her experiments. Merchants tried to trade with the town, but they were captured and used for those experiments - up until Ganga of Mirewater realized that the trick was to bring things they needed, like herbs that didn't grow in the area, instead of useless fineries. By the time other traders caught on, he'd made a fortune.

Dree is also known for being the birthplace of the Women of Dree, a trio of sisters who like being oracular and giving quests. It's also known for being the birthplace, or perhaps the spawning place (no one knows for sure), of Zharradan Marr. The Women of Dree took him from the village as an infant and raised him in secret; when he was old enough, he studied the dark arts under Volgera Darkstorm. So embarrassed was he by his birth name, REDACTED, that he learned and cast a spell that caused everyone who knew it to forget it and know him by Zharradan Marr instead. That should give you an idea of how powerful, and how petty, he is.

Eventually he and his two fellow pupils joined together to kill Darkstorm once they'd gotten everything they could from him, then went their separate ways. Marr disguised himself as a prospector in order to build an underground stronghold in secret, but surprised himself by actually striking gold! So he set up the Yellowstone Mines, putting someone named Vallaska Roue in charge of both running the mine and building an army. He also hired a wizard named Hannicus as a source of information about the outside world. That's how he learned of the Vapours of Stittle Road.

The Rainbow Ponds are the source of magical waters that contain incredible powers. No one knows where they are, as they're protected by the Elves of Eren Durdinath. However, an Elf by the name of Leeha Falsehope left that village and visited the nearby town of Chalice, where he partied hard and used the power of the vapours to win at everything and be a hit with the lads and ladies. One night, though, he got drunk enough to spill the secrets of his success; when he realized he'd not only told them about the vapours, but where to find them, he quickly attempted to cover his tracks: "Did I say Eren - no, no, the village is named Stittle Woad. (They'll never figure out that's the name of an Elvish dye.)" The damage was done, though, and to this day his descendants bear the shame.

Eren Durdinath is protected by the gods in exchange for having their queens chosen not by birth but by merit: only the most beautiful, witty, and graceful can successfully complete the ritual to make them queen. They always give birth within a year of the communion (ahem hem), and one such queen gave birth not to a kid, but to three vapours, one for each of the Elven gods who had visited her during her communion (*coughcoughcough*): the god of languages, the god of reason, and the god of Elf magic. I wonder if this is at all significant.

Zharradan learned all this from Hannicus and figured he could become invincible if he got his mitts on Elf magic, so he focused on finding 'Stittle Woad' and building his power base. He hired a Half-Troll named Thugruff to set up a hidden training ground, known as the Testing Grounds. (That sounds familiar.) He also ousted Hannicus, who had outlived his usefulness, with a recruit Vallaska Roue turned up:

Page 29 posted:

Marr listened intently as he heard of Darramouss, a Half-Elf and one of the undead. According to Roue, he was a ruthless creature, who was totally without remorse and who took pride in torture and torment. As an officer in the army, he was known as one who would always welcome the order to kill the prisoners. When this order was given he would first torture them for his private pleasure, then kill them.

Marr hired him to run the Yellowstone Mines, which he did by enslaving the workers already there (much more economical to not pay wages, you see) and having Thugruff hunt for more as the ones he had died.

Meanwhile, another Elf, Daga Weaseltongue (cousin of one of the Falsehopes), went a-wandering and met up with some of Marr's goons, who struck up a friendship with him. Marr heard of this and went in disguise as a Rhino-Man (probably not that Rhino-Man) to do likewise. Once Weaseltongue was sufficiently buttered up, Marr used a Control Creature spell to cause Weaseltongue to steal the Vapours from the elves, then set about searching for the Elven village so he could locate the Rainbow Ponds. (Why he didn't just ask Weaseltongue where it was, I don't know.)

In this endeavor, Marr was aided by the Galleykeep, an airship (literally an enormous ship that flew instead of sailing) which he captured in a short but bloody ambush. He knows the general location of Stittle Woad (somewhere in the Forest of Spiders) and is searching for it even now. Various factions are racing to stop him; we've already bumped into a few of them.

The lore ends by mentioning that we don't actually know any of this at the start of the adventure, and some of the information may be misleading. So keep that in mind.

FredMSloniker
Jan 2, 2008

Why, yes, I do like Kirby games.
So. Waaaay back on Reference 1, we had three options:
  • Bring your foot down heavily on his neck? Turn to 185.
  • Show him you mean no harm? Turn to 93. (We've done this before.)
  • Try to talk to him? Turn to 364.
We could turn to 364...

Reference 364 posted:

You greet the Dwarf. At least you try to greet the little creature. But instead of any message coming from your throat, it is silent and your hands reach down to grasp the terrified figure around the chest. He screams and makes a strange sound, which sounds like: "Keep away from me!" You try to answer, but the only sound you are able to make is a grunt of effort as your rough, scaly fingers close tightly around the creature's chest and your sharp claws dig in. Summoning up all its strength, it swipes at you with its sharp sword. The blade digs in under the scales above your knee, but the wound is not too serious - deduct 2 STAMINA points. The blow causes you to roar loudly and to increase the pressure on the creature's chest. Its ribs crack like twigs under the force of your grip and the body falls limp. You drop it to the floor where it lands like the sack of bones it now is.

Your thoughts are confused. Will you:
  • Attempt to hide the body? Turn to 218.
  • Examine this strange little creature? Turn to 399. (We've done that already.)
  • Leave the area immediately? Turn to 248.

...or we could turn to 185...

Reference 185 posted:

The little creature screams in horror as you raise your foot over its head. "Leave me alone!" it squeals, as it swings the sharp sword in its hand towards your leg. But the blow is weak and glances off your tough scales; you feel nothing. A second later you are looking down with mixed feelings at the lifeless form of the Dwarf. Will you:
  • Attempt to hide the body? Turn to 218.
  • Examine this strange little creature? Turn to 399. (We've done that already.)
  • Leave the area immediately? Turn to 248.

...but as you can see, the first choice doesn't make a difference except for how much, if any, STAMINA we lose.

What about this choice? Well, we've tried examining the creature; what about hiding it?

Reference 218 posted:

You plan to drag the body down the short passageway to the south. You bend down to grip the lifeless figure. But instead of responding to your wishes, you find that your body has other ideas of its own. Turn to 399.

Okay, what about just leaving?

Reference 248 posted:

You stand up, ready to leave the area. After glancing left and right to make sure you are alone, you turn towards the westerly passage. At least, you try to turn. But your body will not respond. Instead it is bending down towards the lifeless Dwarf on the ground. Turn to 399.

Fine, we'll examine the body, I guess. (We'll also checkpoint page 399, as all roads lead there regardless.) We get a piece of hide describing Swinebeard's sentence to look for the vapours and then have to roll a die. Last time we 'rolled' 1-3. Let's roll 4-6.

Reference 148 posted:

You decide to follow the passage east, to your right. Your first steps are slow, as you take in the encounter with the Dwarf. After a few paces, the corridor turns north. You approach a stout wooden door and must make a decision. Will you smash the door from its hinges and continue? Or will you give up on this route and return the Dwarf's corps? Roll one die:
  • Roll 1 or 2? Turn to 419. (This is the 'turn around' choice.)
  • Roll 3-6? Turn to 72. (This is the 'break the door down' choice.)

If we turn around...

Reference 419 posted:

You shift your weight and turn your great bulk around. With laboured steps you stomp back the way you came and pass the lifeless body. Turn to 308.

... we go back to a page we've seen before. So let's try 72.

Reference 72 posted:

With one hand you swat the door. The force is great and your fist succeeds in cracking the wood. But the door does not open and your anger rises. A sound stirs within the room! You listen carefully and can hear heavy breathing coming from within, mixed with a shuffling sound, as if something were slowly moving around. A growl, deep and low, comes from your throat. Will you risk facing whatever is beyond the door? Or will you try the safer route, back past the Dwarf? Roll one die:
  • Roll 1? Turn to 419.
  • Roll 2-6? Turn to 170.

At this point, turning back is quite unlikely.

Reference 170 posted:

Fury builds up within you! You step back and with a loud roar you charge the door. The hinges crack and are ripped off as the door crashes inwards. There is no furniture or decoration in the cave that greets your eyes. There is a seat carved out of the stone, but the room is clearly the dwelling of a captive or slave. Your eyes then switch to the room's inhabitant - and your reaction is swift! The huge Clawbeast, whose peace you have disturbed, slashes at you with its deadly talons! You lurch back and avoid the creature's onslaught. But this attack serves only to fuel your rage. Your own sharp claws slide out and you turn to the Clawbeast. Resolve this combat:

CLAWBEAST    SKILL 9    STAMINA 14

If you defeat the creature, turn to 389.

I was gonna calculate the odds of us winning this fight, but I was running into bugs in the program and I didn't want to delay the update any longer. Suffice to say, we'd probably win - our SKILL can be between 7 and 12, and our STAMINA between 14 and 24, plus we have the Instant Death rule - but not unbloodied.

Reference 389 posted:

Your foe is defeated and you feel justifiably proud. Your gaze passes from the dead creature to its lair. But there is nothing of interest, and the sickening stench of Clawbeast makes you want to leave quickly. There are three ways onwards: the passage behind you, a cave entrance in the western wall and another in the northern wall. What will your next action be? Roll one die:
  • Roll 1-4? Turn to 230.
  • Roll 5 or 6? Turn to 165.

This is another fake choice, because:

Reference 230 posted:

Your vengeance on the Clawbeast is not yet complete. You must satisfy your lust for the spoils of victory! You kneel by its side and feast on the flesh of your victim. You may add 2 STAMINA points for the meal; then turn to 165.

Reference 165 posted:

Roll one die. If you roll 1-3, you decide to head north into the wide cave entrance ahead of you (turn to 408). If you roll 4-6, you take the narrower cave entrance which leads west (turn to 344).

I went ahead and peeked to the west...

Reference 344 posted:

The passage continues westwards but begins to narrow after a few paces. It bends first to the left, then to the right. At one point you disturb a group of rats feasting on some partially decomposed remains, but they scurry off into the blackness as you pass by. Suddenly, sounds in the distance alert you and you stop. Ahead there is a sharp bend to the south, and flickering light and dancing shadows warn you of danger. For a few moments you hesitate. But your emotions take over. A raging storm seems to be gathering within. Your eyes narrow; your lips curl back to reveal your sharp teeth; you flex your powerful muscles and step forward. Fearlessly you step round the corner to face whatever awaits you. Turn to 205.

...and saw that it leads to the Hobbit fight. In the interest of getting more quickly to new content, I'm taking us north.

Reference 408 posted:

The cave leads north to a large tunnel in the rock which runs from east to west. It is large enough for you to walk along. Roll one die. If you roll 1-3, you decide to turn west (turn to 282). If you roll 4-6, you turn east (turn to 372).

Finally, an actual choice. I can't guarantee either choice is a good choice, though.

FredMSloniker
Jan 2, 2008

Why, yes, I do like Kirby games.

Reference 282 posted:

The walls of the tunnel become damp and glisten in the odd half-light. You follow the passage until you reach a point where it turns sharply southwards. Continuing round the corner, you find that the light has now almost totally faded, and you must feel your way along the wall. Several paces down the slimy corridor, you reach a dead end. The wall is rocky and pocked with many nooks and crannies. There is also a musty smell in the air of animal decay - perhaps simply dead rats or maybe the remains of something larger. Around your feet there are several loose stones. At least you assume they are stones, but some are too long, thin and brittle to be shards of rock. Your groping hand touches a length of rope, which may be a clue to a way out of this dead end. Will you pull it? Roll one die. If the result is 1-3, you close your hand around the rope and pull it out towards you (turn to 99). If you roll 4-6, you ignore the rope, turn round and follow the corridor back the way you came, continuing straight on past the Clawbeast's cave (turn to 372). If you wish, you may, before rolling the die, decide to Test your Luck. If you are Lucky, you may choose which of the above options you will opt for. If you are Unlucky, you must roll the die to decide in the normal way.

So we have to pay a point of Luck to be allowed to roll to determine whether we can make a blind choice instead of having it be made for us. Okaaaay. Anyway, we didn't choose not to go east to turn back now!

Reference 99 posted:

Angry and frustrated, you snatch the rope and jerk it towards yourself. It offers little resistance, although the faint click you hear would have warned an astute human adventurer. It was caused by the hair-trigger springing on the deadly trap which has now taken you by surprise. The trigger has released razor-edged spears from the two side walls. Even your tough scaly skin cannot defend you against them, and your body is riddled with a dozen spears.

As quickly as they appeared, the spears slide neatly out of your lifeless body and disappear back into the walls. You slump to the ground. Eventually your blood will dry and your flesh will decompose like that of the previous victims of the Dark Elves' grim Deathspear Trap.

Death #3: this is not how you make Swiss cheese!

So yeah. We're asked to make a roll to see if we're allowed to skip a roll to see which way we go when one way is instant death and one way is the way we went on the previous roll. Let's try going east instead.

Reference 372 posted:

The passage heads east. The rough stone floor begins to feel different underfoot and you look down to see that it has been laid with flat stones of irregular sizes. The light seems to be better, although with a definite bluish tint, and you look up to see blue glowstones in the ceiling, lighting your way. Mysteriously, their glow appears only as you approach; when you look behind you see the light has faded. There are a number of crevices, and small passages lead off from the main one, but you ignore these as they are far too narrow for you to enter. A sound from ahead catches your attention - the soft thump of something landing on the ground. Further on, you discover that it was a tied-up sack. Something inside the sack is struggling, but cannot get out. In size, the lump is similar to the Dwarf you killed earlier. Will you investigate the sack or continue along the passageway? Roll one die:
  • Roll 1-4 and stop to study the sack more carefully? Turn to 186.
  • Roll 5 or 6 and ignore the sack? Turn to 440.

Loot? Loot.

Reference 186 posted:

You cannot resist the temptation to find out what is bound inside the sack. You squat down next to the squirming figure and prod it with your hand. It squeals pitifully and its hopeless attempts to wriggle free become frantic. Suddenly the creature's smell hits your nostrils. This smell has a curious effect on you. You are spoiling for battle. But alongside this, your mouth is watering; you have the compelling desire to sink your teeth into a large chunk of flesh to satisfy your appetite. Thus your craving is both hunger and rage, and your passion is uncontrollable!

Your talons slide from your fingertips and you slash furiously at the ropes binding the sack. They fray and snap, and out falls a battered and bloodied little human-like creature. It is clean-shaven, with brown hair on its head, its hands and even on its feet, which are not covered with footwear. The creature's weary head rolls around towards you and its eyes gaze into yours as if to plead for pity. But when it realizes what you are, a look of stark horror spreads across its face! It screams in anguish and fights desperately to break free. But it is no use. You have the little fellow securely in your grip. Your fangs sink first of all into its neck to quell the struggles. Then you feast greedily on its soft body. You may restore your STAMINA to its Initial value. When you are finished with the Hobbit, you look up along the passageway. You are startled to discover that you are being watched! In the darkness down the passage is a mysterious figure. Turn to 63.

Reference 63 posted:

Standing before you is a tall, thin figure. It is dark and humanoid in appearance, although you cannot make out much in the dim light. You can, however, clearly make out two large green eyes. The figure is shrouded in a brightly coloured cape and its hair is gathered on top of its head in a tight knot. It steps towards you and flings its cape back to reveal its left hand, which grips a short bow. Reaching over its back, it draws an arrow from a quiver, aims at you and shoots you in the shoulder! Lose 2 STAMINA points. You howl with pain and turn towards the bowman, baring your teeth. But he has yet another arrow poised to fire. This second arrow rips into your forearm with such force that it comes out the other side and clatters off the wall behind. Lose another 2 STAMINA points. Your fury is now uncontrollable. Will you unsheathe your claws and advance on your attacker? Or will you retreat from this deadly foe? Roll one die. If you roll 1-4, you are so enraged that you blunder ahead towards the Dark Elf bowman without a thought of the danger (turn to 14). If you roll a 5 or 6, fear for your life takes over from your anger and you retreat (turn to 260). You may Test your Luck if you wish, but you must do so before you roll the die. If you are Lucky, you may choose your own option. If you are Unlucky, you must let your instincts decide and roll the die as normal.

Oh, not this mechanic again!

On a side note, if you've read the GrailQuest series of gamebooks, you may recall that Page 14 is the page you turn to if you've died; it contains instructions for how to start over (since sometimes the instructions aren't just 'start over'). Seeing a page direct you to 14 is a sign that you've just had a bad day.

Reference 14 posted:

You storm ahead up the passageway towards the Dark Elf, roaring loudly and with claws ready to strike. But the Elf does not budge. He merely notches another arrow and looses it towards you. This time the arrow sinks deep into your stomach and you clutch at the wound. Lose 3 STAMINA points. Tears of pain flood your eyes, but you will not hold back. Again you advance, and again the Elf notches his arrow. But this time the bowman's aim is true. The arrow is fired higher, at your face. Before you have time to react, his shaft has pierced your eye and lodged in your brain. Mercifully, your death is instantaneous.

Death #4: nibbled to death by the worst Elven marksman ever.

You're no Legolas, buddy. Okay, first off, taking off STAMINA on a page that then just kills us outright? That's taking realism a bit too far. (Similarly the pages that have had us lose STAMINA, then lose more STAMINA. You couldn't roll those losses together?) Second... well, at least this time there's a clear 'well don't do that' option on reference 63? So let's take it.

Reference 260 posted:

Some inner instinct of self-preservation takes over from your fury and tells you that this Elf bowman is not to be trifled with. You turn from him and speed back down the corridor. However, you manage no more than five steps before you realize that your attempts to escape are futile. Ahead of you, four more Dark Elves bar the passageway, all with bows drawn and aimed at your chest. You are confused! Which way should you turn? But your confusion is short-lived. At a signal from their leader, arrows zing from all four bows. Their aim is good. Three of the four shafts pierce your heart...

Death #5: what Dark Elves lack in quality what they make up for in quantity.

Okay, so investigating the hobbit sack got us killed. Maybe we can not investigate it?

Reference 440 posted:

Your curiosity has been aroused but not captured by the creature squirming within the sack. You give it a heavy kick as you pass, and send it scuttling across the floor. Whatever is inside squeals for mercy but falls silent after colliding painfully with the stony wall. You continue past it along the passage, your way still lit by eerie blue glowstones. Suddenly, you hear a footstep. You stop to listen hard. A shape forms in the passageway before you! Turn to 63.

WELP

So! We've learned some important information. In order to successfully complete Creature of Havoc, we must:
  • Choose to murder a Dwarf on 1. (This isn't strictly necessary, but it'd leave us with the most Stamina on 399 if we were playing this legit.)
  • Roll 1-3 on 399; failing that, roll 1 or 2 on 148; failing that, roll 1 on 72; failing that, survive combat with the Clawbeast on 170, then roll 4-6 on 165. Any of these will take us to the hobbit fight on 205; If we reach 408, we're doomed. Assuming we can beat the Clawbeast without dying, which is not a trivial assumption, we have about an 86% chance of passing these checks or, in other words, a 14% chance of losing the book before we make a meaningful decision.
  • Survive combat with a Hobbit on 205.

What we don't yet know if we have to do it without losing a single round. Let's find out.

Reference 86 posted:

When you have finally killed the little creature, you must turn your attention to the other two humans. While you have been battling their companion, they have been preparing to attack. The red-robed figure is facing you, pointing the little finger of each hand at you and mumbling. The shiny human has grabbed a sword - similar, you remember, to the Dwarf's, but larger - and is shouting to the other: "Control its mind, shaman! It may be able to lead us to that Swinebeard cur!" You cannot fight both at once. Which will you direct your attention towards? Roll one die. If you roll 1-4, you decide to take on the shining figure (turn to 48). If you roll 5 or 6, you turn towards the man in the red robes (turn to 292).

The only difference between this and 160 is that our odds of fighting the shaman first (and thus avoiding getting mind-controlled by the shaman immediately after killing the Armoured Knight) are a flat 1/3 rather than a Test of Luck.

Amending our list, we can add:
  • Either succeed in a Test of Luck on 160 (if we beat the Hobbit without losing a round) or pass a flat 1/3 chance on 86 (if we didn't).
  • Survive combat with an Armoured Knight on 292.
After beating the Armoured Knight, we get a free meal, but we also get a 1/3 chance of getting a bat in the eye before winding up here again:

Reference 101 posted:

The door cracks under the force of your blow. A hole appears and you rip the timbers away until it is large enough for you to pass through. Torches are mounted on the wall of the room inside and there are two doors, one to the east and one to the west. There is no furniture to speak of, but some remains - perhaps of a table and chair - litter the floor among a thin covering of dirty straw. The wood has been broken in what appears to have been a furious battle, the result of which lies before you.

In the centre of the room is a familiar sight. Casting your mind back to the battle you have just won, you recognize the figure of an armoured Knight lying face down in the straw. His face is hidden under an elegant helmet decorated with wings coming from above each ear. A dark-bladed sword has entered his body through a gap in his armour between his arm and shoulder. Lying next to the Knight are three other figures. One is similar in stature, but wears a tough leather tunic and helmet. A bloody stain around his belly indicates how this adventurer came to grief. The other two figures are not so familiar. They are shorter than the others, and are dressed in armour of scaly brown hide. They have gnarled, pug-nosed faces with vicious teeth set in their lower jaws. All four bodies are long dead.

You step forward to get a better look. Suddenly you hear a chomping sound coming from somewhere in the room - in fact several places - but you cannot see anything which might make such a noise. Your eyes pass over the adventurer in leather armour and you suddenly freeze: while you are watching, a chunk of flesh disappears from his thigh! You watch incredulously for a few moments more. Not only does more flesh disappear from the adventurer's leg, but you also notice the body of one of the pug-nosed creatures twitch as its forearm suddenly loses a fleshy lump! This scene is worrying and you must decide what to do next. Roll one die:
  • Roll 1-3 and investigate the bodies further? Turn to 234.
  • Roll 4-6 and head quickly for the door to the east? Turn to 168. (We've done this before.)

Reference 234 posted:

You approach the smaller of the two pug-nosed creatures and prod it with your foot. Its lifeless body shrugs and lies still. But a similar prod on the leather-armoured adventurer's leg produces a startlingly different result. A shrill screeching sound shocks you to attention! As if this were some kind of signal, something starts to happen in the room. Three shapes begin to materialize in front of you. Turn to 447.

This gets us to the Flesh-Feeder fight without a bite taken out of us, which is nice. (Though add 'Survive combat with three Flesh-Feeders on 447' to our to-do list.) From there we get exposed to the vapour of reason and can finally, actually, legitimately make a potentially meaningful choice!

And it's a blind left-right choice on 382. Sigh. We went west last time, so let's try east. (We aren't done with the west path, though, so we'll make 382 our new checkpoint.)

Reference 33 posted:

You leave the room along a dusty corridor. A strange bluish light comes from glowstones set in the ceiling to light your way. With every step you take, a glowstone ahead of you lights up and one behind you fades to darkness; it is almost as if your progress were being monitored by some unseen entity. As you wait for your eyes to adjust to the light, you pause to consider the strange events in the previous room. You retract your claws and rub your rough, scaly belly thoughtfully. You can make no sense of what has happened. Eventually you set off once more and after a few paces you come to a junction. Will you:
  • Take the passageway to the north? Turn to 311.
  • Continue in an easterly direction? Turn to 390.

We haven't been to either of these pages before, and this update has gotten super long, so I'm not peeking. Pays your money and makes your choice!

FredMSloniker
Jan 2, 2008

Why, yes, I do like Kirby games.

Not The Wendigo posted:

This looked like a fun problem, so I went and did the simulation for you:



Line is probability you take that much damage or less. For skill 7, there's a ~12% chance the clawbeast does at least 14 damage to you, so this encounter could kill a weaker player. Even at maximum stamina, there's still a 5% chance of this killing you. For skill 12 you're almost guaranteed to take less than 5 damage.

And that takes into account the special 'if you roll doubles, you just win' rule?

someone awful. posted:

north passageway could be promising.

Reference 311 posted:

The glowstones once more light your way as you plod slowly north up the passageway. After a short distance you see a shape ahead, slumped motionless on the ground. When you reach the spot, you can see that these are the remains of a small furry creature - about the size of the Dwarf you came across earlier. It has probably been dead for some time, but if you are hungry you may wish to feed on it. If so, turn to 363. If you ignore it and continue, turn to 75.

Sure, we could eat.

Reference 363 posted:

The dead Hellhound would no doubt have made a tasty meal had you arrived several days ago. But now its rotten flesh gives you severe stomach cramps. You double over and your claws scrape on the rocky walls as you try to support yourself. You must lose 4 STAMINA points and wait for a while before you continue. When you are ready, turn to 75.

But maybe we shouldn't.

Reference 75 posted:

The passage heads straight for some time until you finally reach its end at a junction. You may turn either east or west here. If you wish to go east, turn to 326. If you wish to go west, turn to 353.

Another blind choice ahoy!

FredMSloniker
Jan 2, 2008

Why, yes, I do like Kirby games.

In future, would you mind not just quoting yourself, so if I pick your vote, it doesn't look like this?

BraveLittleToaster posted:

Another East vote.

Reference 326 posted:

As you march on eastwards, you reach a bend where the passage turns to the north. A creaking sound from around the corner alerts you and you stop just before the bend. The sound is a slow, repeating creak. You peer round the corner to find out whether you can see anything. But the glowstones are not alight and all you can see is blackness. Will you:
  • Continue round the corner? Turn to 441.
  • Return to the junction and head west instead? Turn to 353.

This creature's not for turning.

Reference 441 posted:

You rush boldly round the corner to face whatever is making the creaking. Glowstones in the ceiling blink quickly on in front of you, trying to keep up with your progress. After a few steps, you reach a junction with another passage, which runs from east to west. And on the left-hand wall you discover the source of the creaking - a sign, suspended on a short pole. A cool breeze is wafting through the passage and this is causing the sign to creak as it swings backwards and forwards. You study the sign, which reads: "Yellowstone Mines this way". Underneath the letters, there is a large arrow pointing eastwards. You glare angrily at the sign for worrying you and swipe at it with your claw. But it is too high up for you to reach. Will you:
  • Go west? Turn to 208.
  • Take the sign's advice and turn to the east? Turn to 122.

We don't have the gift of language currently, so we can't, technically, understand the sign. We've been to 122 before, but 208 is new.

Reference 208 posted:

Once more the glowstones light your way as you tramp along the passage. The walls begin to glisten and from ahead you can hear the splashings of an underground river. As you approach, a strong smell begins to waft towards you. The disgusting smell, which comes from the river itself, causes you to stop for a moment to catch your breath. After a few more paces, you reach a rocky bridge. Steep chasm walls stretch down to the bubbling river below and you look over the edge to get some idea of the distance. The bridge is narrow, and wet from the moisture in the air; no doubt it is slippery, too. Do you want to:
  • Risk crossing the bridge? Turn to 265.
  • Turn back and take the easterly passage? Turn to 122.

No turning back!

Reference 265 posted:

Holding your breath to avoid the awful stink coming from the river below, you step on to the bridge and test its strength with your weight. The bridge seems strong enough. You take a few paces across. Eventually you are forced to breathe again and in the centre of the bridge you take a quick breath. The smell of the river once more hits you and you stagger. Your foot slips on the edge of the bridge and you must Test your Luck. If you are Lucky, turn to 418. If you are Unlucky, turn to 60.

We've seen 60 before; it's death from falling into the Bilgewater.

Reference 418 posted:

Your foot slides back over the edge of the bridge, and you tumble through the air towards the river below! You shudder with horror at the thought of landing in the filthy waters. But fate is kind to you. Before you reach the water, your head cracks hard against a protruding rock. You are senseless when you hit the river and you never know the unpleasantness of your death in the filthy stream that is the Bilgewater.

Death #6: WTF is this poo poo?

So yeah, we get 'lucky' by dying instantly instead of drowning.

Rewinding to 382 (where we got free will), the fastest way for us to get somewhere new is to take the door to the east (turn to 33), then continue east instead of turning north.

Reference 390 posted:

You head off eastwards. After a few steps, the passage begins to widen and you can hear distant sounds ahead. As you get closer, you recognize them - and your mouth waters! For the sound you can hear is the unmistakable chatter of tasty Hobbits! Without any consideration of the consequences, you make your way quickly towards the noises. The glowstones light your way to a wide chamber. The passage enters it around a bend and you stop to survey the scene. Marble flooring marks the entrance to this meeting-chamber which is decorated with carvings and dark archways. Three Hobbits, wearing none of that obstructive metal armour, are engaged in a heated discussion in the centre of the chamber. They have their backs towards you, but they are concerned about their safety and one of them keeps on looking around the chamber for any signs of danger. Will you:
  • Wait until this one is occupied before rushing in to attack? Turn to 288.
  • Ignore the advantage of surprise and simply rush in? Turn to 42.
  • Ignore the Hobbits and head across the chamber to a passage opposite which continues to the east? Turn to 378.

FredMSloniker
Jan 2, 2008

Why, yes, I do like Kirby games.

Kobal2 posted:

If I've followed correctly we can't speak/understand language right now, so no point in waiting.

You're right twice. First, we don't have the gift of language in our current state. Second, it turns out this is a false choice, because:

Reference 288 posted:

You keep your eyes on the Hobbit and wait for him either to give up his watching or to become involved in the conversation. But after no more than five seconds, the waiting is unbearable! Your mouth is now slobbering in excitement and your limbs are twitching with the promise of the battle to come. Though your mind wills your body to wait for a safer moment, your body will not listen. Turn to 42.

And:

Reference 378 posted:

You step forward to make your way past the Hobbits. But even as you take the first step, you know that you cannot carry out your intention. Though you may wish to ignore the Hobbits, you cannot pass by your favourite food. Turn to 42.

So...

Reference 42 posted:

The excitement is too much. Your blood boils with the fire of battle and the promise of feasting on the juicy bodies of the three Hobbits. You cannot control yourself and you launch yourself into the chamber, claws poised to strike. As you rush towards them, the Hobbits shriek in terror and draw their shortswords to defend themselves. Resolve the battle:

               SKILL  STAMINA
First HOBBIT     6       6
Second HOBBIT    5       6
Third HOBBIT     6       7

The Hobbits will all attack at the same time. If you defeat them all, turn to 2.

Reference 2 posted:

You sit down between the three Hobbits, licking your lips as you remember the tender taste of their flesh. Grabbing the nearest one, you sink your teeth ravenously into its meaty rump and let out a soft, low growl of contentment. For a short while you feast messily on the hapless creatures. Each Hobbit was carrying a small pouch of those flat, round, shiny pieces of metal and you may take these with you if you wish. They are, in fact, Gold Pieces and if you decided to take them, you are now carrying 12 with you. You may restore your STAMINA to its Initial value for the tasty meal and may add a LUCK point for your victory.

You must now leave the chamber. Do you wish to continue east along a passage opposite the one you entered by? If so, turn to 153. If you wish to retrace your steps to the junction and take the northerly passageway, turn to 311.

I see no reason not to collect the Gold Pieces. Hopefully there's no 'you have too much gold gently caress you' moment in the book.

We've been to 311 before (it's where we found the rotten Hellhound), so let's keep going.

Reference 153 posted:

The easterly passage leads you down a slight incline and along a narrow route which is cold and wet underfoot. The glowstones light your way once more. You soon find yourself sloshing and splashing along the corridor, and you look down to find that your feet are walking, not through ordinary mud, but through a thick, jelly-like substance which appears to be dark blue in colour. The passage bends sharply round to the north, and you plod onwards. Your progress may be unpleasant, but you feel no ill effects from the slime. Eventually, you reach a junction. Ahead, straight up the corridor, the slime changes to an even darker shade of blue. To the right, a single step upwards leads to a dry passageway heading east. If you wish to continue heading north, turn to 232. If you step out of the slime and head east, turn to 84.

Kobal2 reminded me that I have a lot of behind-the-scenes info I'm not showing you. At any given time, I know our current game state (in this case, it's "We're at Reference 153, with a piece of hide with a coded message and 12 Gold Pieces"); our current checkpoint ("Reference 382, with a piece of hide with a coded message"); a list of the deaths, bad ends, and softlocks we've encountered (six deaths, one bad end, and one softlock); our to-do list for beating the gamebook (seven steps so far, two of which are optional but improve our odds); and a list of new places, if any, we can get to from any given game state (most commonly, I check either our current game state or the checkpoint game state). I can also determine whether we can win, lose, find new areas, and/or wind up in a loop (endless or not) from any given game state. Would you like any of that information either at the end of posts or in the first post?

FredMSloniker
Jan 2, 2008

Why, yes, I do like Kirby games.

Foxfire_ posted:

Are these brand name hobbits and did Steve Jackson get a strongly worded letter from the Tolkien estate?

To my knowledge, no, though apparently The Warlock of Firetop Mountain, the first in the series, was offered to the publishers of The Lord of the Rings, who turned it down. There's also a series of Middle Earth gamebooks, about which I know little.

BraveLittleToaster posted:

Hurry on east.

Personally I would be fine with some of that information being in the first post, so one could refer to it whenever needed.

What in particular would you like to know?

Reference 84 posted:

Though particularly rocky underfoot, the passage is far preferable to the cold, muddy slime. A short distance along the corridor, you come to a door which is firmly closed. Although its timbers do not look too strong, a quick shove from your elbow has no effect. From slight gaps both underneath the door and in the timber panels you can see a flashing light coming from within the room. The flashing is irregular and is accompanied by no sound. Will you smash the door to investigate (turn to 268), or would you prefer to return to the main passageway and head north through the dark slime instead (turn to 232)?

Never give up! Never surrender!

Reference 268 posted:

The door splinters and you stumble forward into a dark room. As your eyes try to become accustomed to the darkness, you hear a high-pitched clicking noise coming from one corner. An instant later, the same sound is coming from another corner. By now your eyes are just about used to the low light and you can make out two shapes, outlined in blue. One is the door by which you entered, lit by the glowstones. The other is the rough shape of another door in the north wall. The light around both these doors is fading. Do you wish to step over to the north door before the light fades (turn to 285), or would you prefer to investigate the clicking sounds (turn to 383)?

FredMSloniker
Jan 2, 2008

Why, yes, I do like Kirby games.

BraveLittleToaster posted:

The list of deaths and bad ends and soft locks would be fine, as well as the to-do list.

Investigate the clicking sounds like the curious Creature we are.

Okay, I'll update the OP shortly.

Reference 383 posted:

You turn towards the corner where you last heard the clicking noise and let out a deep growl. As you step into the corner, the clicking starts again! This time it becomes quite frantic. To your complete astonishment, the sound darts across the room in front of you and heads for an opposite corner! As you were virtually in the corner, and there was no room for anything of any size to pass you, you realize that whatever is making the noise must be very small. Your head turns to the other corner. The pitch of the noise has increased and there seem to be two - if not three - distinct creatures clicking away. Your curiosity has been aroused and you step towards the corner. Only then do you appreciate the danger you have been facing. The flashes of light coming from behind the door before you entered were emanating from a small group of Blinding Beetles. These large insects have the power to emit extremely bright flashes of light, which are powerful enough to blind all but magically protected creatures. Your harassment has finally angered them to their flash-point. Three intense bursts of light explode before your eyes, followed by complete blackness. The Blinding Beetles' attack has been effective: you have now lost your sight. You rub your eyes with your scaly hands to try to wipe away the blackness, but there is nothing you can do. In desperation, you bellow pitifully and stumble around the room as if there were some way out of the sightless world which is now yours. As you grope along the wall, you come across a door. You give it a yank, feel it open and a rush of air hits you. Roll one die. If you roll 1, 2 or 3, turn to 80. If you roll 4, 5 or 6, turn to 317.

Reference 80 posted:

You step through the door and your claws clatter along the rocky walls as you feel your way. Staggering slowly along the passageway, you shake your head from side to side in an attempt to rid yourself of the affliction. You reach a bend in the passage where the wall turns to the right. Suddenly your foot steps forward onto nothing! Before you can stop yourself, you are falling uncontrollably down, down into what seems to be a deep pit. You prepare yourself for a heavy landing, but instead you continue to fall. Eventually the speed becomes too much for you. Consciousness fades and you never awaken. Your life has mercifully ended here before you were able to discover who - or what - lay in store for you at the bottom of the Blackmouth Floortrap...

Reference 317 posted:

You step through the door and reach out to feel what sort of a place you are in now. Your scales brush against rocky walls. It seems you are in a passageway, and you step forward, steadying yourself against the walls, and shuffle along the passage. A snort of contempt comes from your nostrils, in anger at your predicament. Your pace quickens as your anger builds, until suddenly you trip over. You spit out the foul taste of a mouthful of the jelly-like slime into which you have fallen head first. Then you raise yourself to your feet and lean against the wall. Something is not right. A sharp pain comes from your belly and you grip yourself with a grunt of pain. Minutes later you are writhing in agony on the floor, thrashing around in the slime! Your thrashings are causing the poisonous slime to fly all around you, and you cannot help but catch more globs of the deadly substance in your mouth. There is no escape from this lingering death...

Deaths #7 and #8: On the end of Morton's fork: death by floortrap or death by poisonous slime.

As the doctor said, well, don't do that, then.

Reference 285 posted:

As you move across to the door, the clicking sound seems to dart away from you and travel to the far side of the room. Your sharp claws slide from your fingertips, and you are ready to attack whatever is on the other side of the door. Something must have activated the glowstones! You grasp the handle, yank the door open and peer around. But the passage in which you find yourself is empty. It heads on northwards and widens out at a bend where it turns to the east. You follow it slowly until you reach the bend, the glowstones lighting your way. Then you stop dead in your tracks! On the ground ahead of you, in the centre of the bend, is a dark area which seems to be shimmering in the blue light. Perhaps it is a pool of liquid? Or perhaps it is some sort of dark metallic substance? You may investigate if you wish by turning to 445. If you would prefer to skirt the dark circle, turn to 164.

FredMSloniker
Jan 2, 2008

Why, yes, I do like Kirby games.
If you chose:

someone awful. posted:

let's avoid the stuff that's probably poison.

Reference 445 posted:

You retract your claws, so you may feel the strange shape with your fingertips, and you step up close to it. But as you bend down to touch the dark circle, it moves much more swiftly than ever you could. In an instant, it has expanded to engulf the very ground on which you are standing. You suddenly find that you are standing, not on solid rock, but on... nothing! Down you fall, through the void, until the journey becomes too much for you. You pass out in the blackness and will never know the gruesome fate which awaits you in the depths of the Blackmouth Floortrap.

...you made the call!

Death #9: fell victim to an Acme Portable Hole.

Reference 164 posted:

You creep cautiously and somewhat clumsily around the outside wall, keeping well out of the way of the black circle. It continues to shimmer mysteriously as you edge round it, but nothing happens. When you have passed it, the passageway narrows again to a moderate size and heads due east. You follow it until you reach another bend, this time to the north. But this passageway is quite short and ends at a wooden door. When you listen at the door, you can hear voices - either two or three different ones. The conversation rises and falls in pitch as if the creatures (or humans) were locked into a long discussion. This is your only way onwards. Will you try the door and attempt to creep slowly into the room (turn to 276), or will you attempt to surprise whatever is inside by charging into the room with claws drawn (turn to 66)?

This is yet another pointless choice:

Reference 276 posted:

You carefully try the door. It creaks on its hinges but opens easily, allowing you into the room. You are ready for the creatures inside and hope to surprise them. But when you enter, it is you who are surprised at what you see. Turn to 161.

Reference 66 posted:

You fling open the door and rush into the room, snarling viciously, ready to take on the creatures you heard inside. But the scene within is not what you expect. Turn to 161.

Reference 161 posted:

The room is roughly circular, with doors in the north, south and west walls. Around the walls, in between the doors, are dark arches - a total of six - which are large enough for you to enter. But from your position it is impossible to know how deep they are. The voices which you heard earlier have stopped, as if your entrance has surprised whoever - or whatever - was talking. There is no sign of any living creature in the room. You step into the centre and you are startled when the door slams shut behind you! You must now decide what to do. Will you leave the room through one of the doors (turn to 405) or stay to investigate the room further (turn to 104)?

FredMSloniker
Jan 2, 2008

Why, yes, I do like Kirby games.

BraveLittleToaster posted:

You appear to have mixed things up with the choices in your last post.

Keep investigatin' rooms.

What Leraika said; I rolled someone awful's ("someone awful.'s"?) choice, but I wanted to show the bad end anyway.

Reference 104 posted:

You glance from arch to arch, trying to decide whether to investigate them. The stillness is unnerving. Whatever happened to the voices you heard? As if in answer to your question, a sound drifts out from one of the alcoves: "Over here! Come over here if you want to learn of great riches in these parts. Do you not understand the human tongue? Perhaps then you speak the troll language. C'rgga gvonusoog mg pa'sthwag ig thaan'g. Va n'oigg? What about this? Is that better? Ah, yes. I can tell you understand me. Look, I can help you. Maybe you would like me to direct you to a tasty morsel? Two fat Hobbits? Or shall I tell you about he who knows all your secrets? I speak, of course, of Zharradan Marr. Come, talk to me."

I don't know what the deal is with the encoded trollspeak; among other things, it has doubled vowels, which means it comes out as "C'rgg gu n s  gmgo 'sthw g gth  n'g.U n'  gg?".

Reference 104 posted:

Your are stunned to silence by the voice speaking to you in your own tongue. It is inviting you towards one of the arches. Will you enter and speak to the being within? Or are you suspicious of this strange voice? If you enter the arch and talk to the owner of the voice, turn to 323. If you wish to leave, turn to 405.

We're all about doubling down on questionable decisions here!

Reference 323 posted:

You are intrigued by the voice and find yourself strangely attracted to it. It guides you towards one of the central arches in the east wall. "Come closer, so I may speak to you in private. No, not that arch, this one. That's right. Have no fear. I will tell you of the all-knowing one and tell you where you will find some juicy Hobbits. Just a little further. It is so long since I have enjoyed company and I do so love to find out what happens in the outside world..." You pass through the arch and look around. When your eyes have adjusted to the light, you can see that you are standing in a short tunnel which ends several paces ahead in a dead end. There are no glowstones, but a glistening sheen covers the ceiling. At the end of the short passage is a shape which you can just make out. It appears to be a human, sitting on the floor and leaning against the wall, a tattered cowl over its head. A leather flagon stands at its feet. "Come closer," says the voice. "My hearing is not good. Can I offer you drink?" Will you approach the figure (turn to 439), or will you try another arch (turn to 220)?



Hm. Well, it's a new reference...

FredMSloniker fucked around with this message at 05:04 on Apr 28, 2021

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FredMSloniker
Jan 2, 2008

Why, yes, I do like Kirby games.

BraveLittleToaster posted:

Approach the mysterious figure and see what's up.

Reference 439 posted:

You growl suspiciously and step closer to the figure. The spines on your back are bristling and every muscle is tense. You extend one arm just far enough to hook a claw under the ragged cowl and flick it aside. But beneath the cowl is not what you were expecting! The sight of the rotten head with its gaping eye-sockets makes you stagger back in fright! An evil laugh resounds through the air, coming not from the figure, but from the glistening Chattermatter hanging from the ceiling. Having snared you into its lair with its ability to speak in many tongues, it now drops from its perch to cover you with its sticky, web-like body. While you struggle in vain inside the living slime, it releases its deadly poison, which will paralyse you. As your struggles subside, the Chattermatter begins to digest your tasty body. You will get no further!

Death #10: Step into my parlour, said the Chattermatter to the creature.

As the Fighting Fantasy Project notes, there's nice attention to detail here:



Reference 220 posted:

You are suspicious of this mysterious figure. You back out of the arch and poke your head into the one next to it. This one is also dark. But from somewhere in the darkness you can see a faint glittering, as if tiny raindrops are sparkling as they fall. You cautiously step in to investigate. You reach a pile of rubble lying on the ground. Stones are scattered about as if from a wall which has recently collapsed. You could easily cross the rubble and make for the twinkling lights. While you are considering whether or not to do so, a crash is followed by a shower of dust as a rock falls from the ceiling! Will you climb through regardless, to investigate the glittering lights (turn to 56), or will you leave this alcove and try another (turn to 85)?

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