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Armitag3
Mar 15, 2020

Forget it Jake, it's cybertown.


I'm pretty addicted to energy drinks, have been drinking them pretty often for years now to the point where I've built up a tolerance to them. They still gently caress me up, but I don't get giddy anymore. I'm also into finding new (sometimes white-) brands and see what spin they put in on it. Most of the time it's a worse piss-flavor version of Red Bull.

Red Bull



The piss-gold standard, the most pure distilled taste of energy drink. It's an inscrutable flavor, but I think I've landed on sort of fruity battery acid. Decent carbonation and the body isn't too syrupy. Piss-gold in color. Best served chilled. loving expensive. Four lightnings out of five.


Monster Energy Green



The gamer favorite. It has a darker, less sour taste than Red Bull. Where Red Bull is associated with XXXtreme sports midlife crisis startup CEOs, Monster is forever stained with the mud of super hardcore gamers. Take your pick. Decent carbonation, heavier body, honey colored. Three lightnings out of five.


Burn



An interesting take on the energy drink flavor - it sets itself apart by being much fruitier, with sharp tangs of pineapple. It's a thick swallow, though, even stickier than Monster, and doesn't quench thirst - like they make these fuckers with sea water or something. Slightly higher carbonation, piss yellow hue. Three lightnings out of five, definitely more of a dessert experience.


Coca-Cola Energy



loving vile. It tastes like Coke laced with chemical cherry - which I thought was a patented evil from the mind of one Dr Pepper. The energy tang does not mix well with the classic Coke taste, like they just took Coke and dumped off-brand energy drink into the vat. Lighter carbonation, lighter thinner body, coke-brown color. Two lightnings out of five.


These are just a few off the top of my head. I thought about collecting a can of every kind of energy drink I've ever had, but then I realize I have to work towards not being a loving idiot.
What energy drinks are you sipping on, goons?

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Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981

MTV




Energy drank stankin, what the gently caress you thankin, is you stupid yo rear end need a spankin, whole dick and caboose wankin

Armitag3
Mar 15, 2020

Forget it Jake, it's cybertown.


Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:

Energy drank stankin, what the gently caress you thankin, is you stupid yo rear end need a spankin, whole dick and caboose wankin

Can you hook me up with some Liquid Ice, Mr Tea?

Stevie Lee
Oct 8, 2007


the non-carbonated rockstar orangeade/lemonades are my go-to when i want to avoid a caffeine withdrawal headache. they're usually 2/$3 at most, are chuggable and they don't make me feel gross after

Inexplicable Humblebrag
Sep 20, 2003




i find Stamin X and Tauriner charge up my heat bar the most effectively, OP, allowing me to summon a dominatrix or chef to assist in defeating my enemies depending on my physical location

A Strange Aeon
Mar 26, 2010

You are now a slimy little toad


The Great Twist

I get these generic Red Bulls called Red Thunder from Aldi, usually the sugar free kind. They don't taste great but they do the job when I need to stay up a bit later on a Friday night.

Have you tried those 5 Hour Energy drinks? They're small in volume but high in potency--I'd chug one when I had to do a long drive at night. I ended up staying up all night after drinking one and playing Fallout New Vegas when it came out. Use with caution!

Armitag3
Mar 15, 2020

Forget it Jake, it's cybertown.


Stevie Lee posted:

the non-carbonated rockstar orangeade/lemonades are my go-to when i want to avoid a caffeine withdrawal headache. they're usually 2/$3 at most, are chuggable and they don't make me feel gross after

Ah yes, I sometimes dip into the Rehab Monster line so they go down smoother. Tea and energy they call it.

Armitag3
Mar 15, 2020

Forget it Jake, it's cybertown.


A Strange Aeon posted:

I get these generic Red Bulls called Red Thunder from Aldi, usually the sugar free kind. They don't taste great but they do the job when I need to stay up a bit later on a Friday night.

Have you tried those 5 Hour Energy drinks? They're small in volume but high in potency--I'd chug one when I had to do a long drive at night. I ended up staying up all night after drinking one and playing Fallout New Vegas when it came out. Use with caution!

Haven't had the chance to find those, but I'm definitely on the lookout. Maybe I've finally found my match.

tripwood
Jul 21, 2003

"Cuno can see you're trying to shit him, but Cuno's unshittable, so fuck does Cuno care?"

Hint: He doesn't care.


truck stop coffee gives me all the diarreah I need without any of the sugar and lovely artificial fruit taste

pro starcraft loser
Jan 23, 2006

Stand back, this could get messy.



No NOS?

A Strange Aeon
Mar 26, 2010

You are now a slimy little toad


The Great Twist

Armitag3 posted:

Haven't had the chance to find those, but I'm definitely on the lookout. Maybe I've finally found my match.

"The FDA says it's received reports of 13 deaths over the last four years citing 5-Hour Energy as a potential cause. And it's not just deaths: Since 2009, the drink has been mentioned in 92 "adverse event" filings with the FDA, 33 of which involved serious or life-threatening injuries like heart attacks."

That's an interesting fact and from 2012, so may well be even more reported dangers in the past decade!

There was also this drink called 4 Loko, which was alcoholic and energy drink combined but I think they got taken off the market for health reasons.

Full Metal Jackass
Jan 22, 2001

Rabid bats are welcome in my home

A Strange Aeon posted:

"The FDA says it's received reports of 13 deaths over the last four years citing 5-Hour Energy as a potential cause. And it's not just deaths: Since 2009, the drink has been mentioned in 92 "adverse event" filings with the FDA, 33 of which involved serious or life-threatening injuries like heart attacks."

That's an interesting fact and from 2012, so may well be even more reported dangers in the past decade!

There was also this drink called 4 Loko, which was alcoholic and energy drink combined but I think they got taken off the market for health reasons.

I can only drink half of a five hour energy or I don't feel well.

Loden Taylor
Aug 11, 2003










you're going to die of heart attack while your urethra is getting shredded by kidney stones fyi

anyway, there's only one true energy drink



wake up, hit the gym, shower, go to the DFAC, slam down some omelets and 1-2 rip its, you're good to go for another beautiful day in Afghanistan

Armitag3
Mar 15, 2020

Forget it Jake, it's cybertown.


Holy poo poo, grip it and rip it.

What are those little baby cans? Are they the real urethra busters?

Into The Mild
Mar 4, 2003







I haven’t drank an energy drink in years. Mostly cause my heart feels like it wants to escape my body.

I stick to coffee enemas. Nothing gets you goin like a cup of Joe up the butt.

beer gas canister
Oct 30, 2007

W E L C O M E T O M Y C U S T O M T I T L E ! ! !


Plaster Town Cop

Rockstar has the worst flavor hands down

DarkSoulsTantrum
Apr 6, 2011

this kills the crab

Sure, they're visually impressive, but a lot of posters find large avatars physically uncomfortable. Furthermore, the owners of large avatars often rely on their size alone and don't bother to develop more refined posting techniques.





The only energy drink I need is JESUS

wilfredmerriweathr
Jul 11, 2005


I used to take my Adderall with a jolt cola every morning in high school (the real jolt that was cola flavored) but as an adult I dropped caffeine because with rx amphetamines it's kinda unnecessary.

What I'm saying is, do speed.

Armitag3
Mar 15, 2020

Forget it Jake, it's cybertown.


beer gas canister posted:

Rockstar has the worst flavor hands down

I find Rockstar's flavor comparable to Red Bull. It creeps up there in terms of tang, but doesn't quite hit the levels of piss from the bull. The apple and sourberry flavors can gently caress right off though.

Head Bee Guy
Jun 12, 2011

Retarded for Busting

Grimey Drawer

i used to gently caress with MONSTER ASSAULT when i’d go go-karting as a kid. It had like a digital camo can and Call of Duty tie-ins.

Stevie Lee
Oct 8, 2007


Head Bee Guy posted:

i used to gently caress with MONSTER ASSAULT when i’d go go-karting as a kid. It had like a digital camo can and Call of Duty tie-ins.

assault and this stuff ruined my life teen years

Inzombiac
Mar 19, 2007

PARTY ALL NIGHT

EAT BRAINS ALL DAY


The sugar/calorie free Monsters are really good. I'm trying to not drink so much coffee and they're a lifesaver.

itry
Aug 23, 2019






A Strange Aeon posted:

There was also this drink called 4 Loko, which was alcoholic and energy drink combined but I think they got taken off the market for health reasons.

Armitag3
Mar 15, 2020

Forget it Jake, it's cybertown.


Head Bee Guy posted:

i used to gently caress with MONSTER ASSAULT when i’d go go-karting as a kid. It had like a digital camo can and Call of Duty tie-ins.

Ah yes, that's probably my favorite out of the Monster cans.

Monster Assault (Red)



The most palatable of the Monster carbonated line, discounting taste in video games. The flavor is a classic coke taste, tinged with a soft piss tang just so you know you're getting energized. Decent carbonation, body more on the syrupy side with a reddish-brown color profile. Definitely a four out of five lightnings. Also, their official blurb for Monster Assault is so stupidly corpo-non-commital that I can't help but find it hilarious.

Monster Assault marketing team posted:

At Monster we don’t get too hung up on politics. We’re not for “the War”, against “the War” or any war for that matter.
We put the “camo” pattern on our new Monster Assault can because we think it looks cool. Plus it helps fire us up to fight the big multi-national companies who dominate the beverage business.
We’ll leave politics to the politicians and just keep doing what we do best – make the meanest energy drinks on the planet!
Declare war on the ordinary! Grab a Monster Assault and Viva La Revolution!

I'm a little bit country - well I'm a little bit rock'n'roll!

satanic splash-back
Jan 28, 2009



The 300+ mg caffeine pre workout ones reslly give your colon a good workout.

Armitag3
Mar 15, 2020

Forget it Jake, it's cybertown.


Inzombiac posted:

The sugar/calorie free Monsters are really good. I'm trying to not drink so much coffee and they're a lifesaver.

I cannot stand the Ultra White flavor, it's like I'm drinking a glass of water with three or four effervescent tablets.

Wii Spawn Camper
Nov 25, 2005

ICU? MORE LIKE ICURSOUL

I had a coffee flavored Monster yesterday and it was really tasty.

beer gas canister
Oct 30, 2007

W E L C O M E T O M Y C U S T O M T I T L E ! ! !


Plaster Town Cop

I take it back, Bomba has the worst flavor. I think it used to come in a glass grenade and it was just cooled dog piss full of caffeine

!Klams
Dec 25, 2005

Squid Squad


A Strange Aeon posted:

There was also this drink called 4 Loko, which was alcoholic and energy drink combined but I think they got taken off the market for health reasons.

There was some stuff like this we had called Krunk Juice, that was like a whole night out in a can.

At loads of clubs in Brighton they try and push this energy drink called Pussy, and it's probably the best tasting of all of them, but I just think it's such a stupid name I can't really get behind it. The design is all artsy too, so it's not like they're going for toilet humour, but it also doesn't have a cat on it so.... Wtf

fat bossy gerbil
Jul 1, 2007



One of the managers at my work has two tattoos. The first is the logo for emo band All Time Low. The second is the Monster logo. He drinks six of them a day and I don’t think he has had a single sip of water in at least fifteen years. I don’t understand how he is still alive.

Armitag3
Mar 15, 2020

Forget it Jake, it's cybertown.


!Klams posted:

There was some stuff like this we had called Krunk Juice, that was like a whole night out in a can.

At loads of clubs in Brighton they try and push this energy drink called Pussy, and it's probably the best tasting of all of them, but I just think it's such a stupid name I can't really get behind it. The design is all artsy too, so it's not like they're going for toilet humour, but it also doesn't have a cat on it so.... Wtf

Maybe it's an insult, because you need an energy drink to stay up all night. I'm so tired all the time

Tom Gorman
Apr 30, 2004

Out here, everything hurts




i get these sometimes because Great Buy! 99˘ and it also says CAUTION and looks like I'm drinking industrial waste

A Strange Aeon
Mar 26, 2010

You are now a slimy little toad


The Great Twist

Someone mentioned Jolt which made me think of Surge! It's probably been a decade or two since I tasted one, but iirc, it was kind of Mountain Dewy. Not sure how it would compare to the modern energy drinks of today, though.

Ardemia
Jan 2, 2004

IT IS MY RIGHT TO GET BEHIND THE WHEEL WHEN I'VE PUT BACK SIX SHIRLEY TEMPLES OK



Armitag3 posted:

piss-flavor version of Red Bull.

The piss-gold standard,

Piss-gold in color.


piss yellow hue.


OP would you like to invest in my energy drink startup? Its a formula I think you'll find appealing.

its urine but we crush up caffeine pills in it and sell it at 3 dollars a can

Dixville
Nov 4, 2008

Your Best Paw Forward

Ham Wrangler

Bang is the best energy drink. Especially the piña colada flavor which for some reason i can never find. The rainbow unicorn flavor is absolutely disgusting though, it tastes exactly like some antibiotic i had to take as a kid. But otherwise it's fine. Blue razz, power punch, sour heads are all solid flavors.
Edit i also love the peach nectarine flavor red bull but it has sugar so i don't drink it often.

beggar
Mar 6, 2008

Smoking Makes You Impotent




Bang has like 100 flavors and all of them that I've tried are gross but this one is really good IMO, tastes like cream soda. The people I have intrigued by this comparison have came back to me and said it was gross and not cream soday at all so YMMV

e: ^^ Bang bros

Dixville
Nov 4, 2008

Your Best Paw Forward

Ham Wrangler

beggar posted:



Bang has like 100 flavors and all of them that I've tried are gross but this one is really good IMO, tastes like cream soda. The people I have intrigued by this comparison have came back to me and said it was gross and not cream soday at all so YMMV

e: ^^ Bang bros

Seriously if you haven't tried the piña colada flavor you are missing out. I could only find it at Walmart and now i don't see it there either. Hopefully it wasn't discontinued

Chief McHeath
Apr 23, 2002



A former co-worker of mine once said "Rockstar is like the RC Cola of energy drinks" and I think of that often.

Dandywalken
Feb 11, 2014

I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation. I actually named my daughter after the Pink ranger and will provide proof if challenged.


Inzombiac posted:

The sugar/calorie free Monsters are really good. I'm trying to not drink so much coffee and they're a lifesaver.

Yes they are my fave

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Inzombiac
Mar 19, 2007

PARTY ALL NIGHT

EAT BRAINS ALL DAY


beggar posted:



Bang has like 100 flavors and all of them that I've tried are gross but this one is really good IMO, tastes like cream soda. The people I have intrigued by this comparison have came back to me and said it was gross and not cream soday at all so YMMV

e: ^^ Bang bros

Isn't the CEO a big Trump supporter?

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