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cops can have tasers but they taze the cop at the same time they can have guns to heroically save the day but the gun has 2 bullets and one shoots them too so they better really mean it
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Apr 29, 2021 21:01
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cops can suck teh steaming hot liquid poo poo directly out of my own rear end in a top hat
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Apr 29, 2021 21:03
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Guns need to be issued only to reckless loose cannons who get the job done. But like, the other kind of reckless loose cannon. Everyone else must do things by the book 
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Apr 29, 2021 21:09
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Sid Vicious posted:they have to tuck everyone into bed every night with a gentle kiss on the forehead  cops can have unions but the dues are donating a pint of blood once a week
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Apr 29, 2021 21:09
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Feline Mind Meld posted:
This is going to require an addendum that stipulates that the blood must come from the cop in question's body and not from suspects they detain/arrest.
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Apr 29, 2021 21:13
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Cops can shoot tear gas but a very strong clown will try to pants them every time, and they aren't allowed to shoot if their pants are down
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Apr 29, 2021 21:17
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Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:OP is a cop Cops can be cops but they have to moderate an ancient internet forum?
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Apr 29, 2021 21:17
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The Bloop posted:cops can have tasers but they taze the cop at the same time been saying this about SA mods and probations...
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Apr 29, 2021 21:17
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cops can be cops, but if you take their badge you can cop them back
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Apr 29, 2021 21:20
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They can be cops but they have to blaze up before their shift, tell you they are cops, and hand out free blunts. At 4:20 (every day) The only function their sidearm serves is to be a bong; it's not a functional weapon, of course- and it has a carb. Tasers are lighters. For the bong. Their patrol cars are now repurposed ice cream trucks made out of weed. Retroactive: All prisoners are issued a custom designed Real Doll
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Apr 29, 2021 21:20
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Pot Smoke Phoenix posted:They can be cops but they have to blaze up before their shift, tell you they are cops, and hand out free blunts. pictured: cop w/ service weapon and uniform 
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Apr 29, 2021 21:22
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I am literally copper, so they call me cop. I cop people. Also I'm electrically and thermally conductive.
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Apr 29, 2021 21:23
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cops can be cops but any crimes they do get double the usual punishment instead of none at all enforcement of police crime is handled by the Ultracops, who have chainsaws
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Apr 29, 2021 21:23
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Feline Mind Meld posted:pictured: cop w/ service weapon and uniform 
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Apr 29, 2021 21:23
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Anytime cops have to go out into their car, they need to do a double dare physical challenge and succeed against another cop who wants to do similarly. if it’s multiple cars it’s the obstacle course. they gotta do it in the time allotted and succeed. then they can go assault
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Apr 29, 2021 21:28
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cops can be cops but their bodycams livestream to twitch and if they don't meet the minimum viewership standards they get fired. all of the chat is text-to-speeched
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Apr 29, 2021 21:28
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teen witch posted:Anytime cops have to go out into their car, they need to do a double dare physical challenge and succeed against another cop who wants to do similarly. oooooo or that game with the tennis ball cannon from american gladiators, and then we hire a bunch of new sexy gladiators to follow them around
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Apr 29, 2021 21:29
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cops can be cops but when they pull out their gun there is a loud speaker that announces their penis size (if male) or how much water weight they are retaining and how many visible pores they aren't addressing (if female)
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Apr 29, 2021 21:29
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fingerless mittens
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Apr 29, 2021 21:32
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All transpiration methods are now zorbs
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Apr 29, 2021 21:32
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if you anticipate what a cop is about to say and say it before them, they have to be silent until you let them speak and you can slap them every time they say anything
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Apr 29, 2021 21:34
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cops can be cops but when they clock in they have a belt that locks their pants on so they have to piss and poo poo in their pants. all shifts are 12 hours
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Apr 29, 2021 21:35
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the correct mode of address for a police officer is no longer "officer", but rather "cupcake"
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Apr 29, 2021 21:38
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Cops can be cops but I'm allowed to pull them over and tell them all about my opinions on warhammer 40k lore and they can't leave until i'm done
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Apr 29, 2021 21:39
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each cop has to have a patch on the seat of their pants representing a thing that they like or are good at, like a my little pony
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Apr 29, 2021 21:42
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PinheadSlim posted:Cops can be cops but I'm allowed to pull them over and tell them all about my opinions on warhammer 40k lore and they can't leave until i'm done waiting for the cop at the speed trap to flip on his lights and siren so I can dive onto his hood and splay on his windshield while screaming "DID YOU KNOW THE LAND SPEEDER WAS ACTUALLY NAMED AFTER MAGOS ARKHAN LAND?"
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Apr 29, 2021 21:45
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cops can ride horses, but only sidesaddle
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Apr 29, 2021 21:46
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Hammerite posted:the correct mode of address for a police officer is no longer "officer", but rather "cupcake" Rhyming with bukkake
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Apr 29, 2021 21:51
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They have to abide by all the sovereign citizen nonsense
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Apr 29, 2021 21:52
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they can be cops but they have to eat the eggs
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Apr 29, 2021 21:53
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Get this, they have to protect and serve our communities. Too outlandish?
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Apr 29, 2021 21:56
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Chinatown posted:cops can suck teh steaming hot liquid poo poo directly out of my own rear end in a top hat
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Apr 29, 2021 21:57
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one of the cops has to take me and my son for drives in the cop car whenever we want and let us touch his gun
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Apr 29, 2021 22:01
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No patrolling. Cops can't leave the station on their 49cc mopeds without a 911 call.
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Apr 29, 2021 22:01
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Cops can be cops but they have to give me compliments and tell me I'm pretty. Also everyone is a cop.
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Apr 29, 2021 22:06
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Cops can be cops but I'm allowed to put their personal cell phone numbers as references on my resume and they have to say incredibly flattering but realistic things about me
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Apr 29, 2021 22:07
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Cops, well known for being good at "My Little Pony", I think i missed the bit where applejack stood on someones neck until they died. Anyway, Cops can be Cops, But: if they shoot a family pet, they have to take the place of that pet, they gotta learn all the pets tricks, and answer when called. enjoy your Kibble. ociffer Dibble. DeadFatDuckFat posted:they have to all live on the same tiny island as a reality show And their only reading matter is The National Enquiterer, delivered about 3 months out of date. staberind fucked around with this message at 22:27 on Apr 29, 2021 |
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Apr 29, 2021 22:14
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cops can be cop's butt
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Apr 29, 2021 22:19
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cops can be cops but no thank you
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Apr 29, 2021 22:37
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My neighbor is a cop
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Apr 29, 2021 22:42
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