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E.G.G.S.
Apr 15, 2006



I think Iíll start this challenge with Winterbeast.

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E.G.G.S.
Apr 15, 2006



Iron Crowned posted:

Lucky, FedEx still hasn't delivered my latest VinSyn drop, USPS did much better

Youíre the lucky one, Canadian orders havenít even shipped yet so Iím watching it via YouTube.

Iím going to shoot for 13 titles, and theyíre all gonna be whatever pops up in the pile.

E.G.G.S.
Apr 15, 2006



1. Edge of the Axe (1988)
Opens with a killer car wash scene in broad daylight that sets your expectations high for the rest of the movie - and the kills deliver, they donít cut away from the axe thwacks but ... they take a total backseat to the wild amount of subplots and characters this throws at you.

Thereís a guy married to a cougar who is having an affair with the daughter of the man who is maybe having an affair with his wife and who cares about that when some nerd gets a new talking computer. The best scene in the movie has the nerd bringing a girl into his room to show off his computer and has her ask the computer anything - she types in a question and it crashes. ďI asked it if you were gayĒ

The movieís finale is a wild jump to conclusions - always clear your search history.

.5/5

2. Winterbeast (1992 lol)
The Black Lodge has nothing on the bullshit of the Wild Goose Lodge. An immensely frustrating watch - the more you explain it to someone, the dumber you come off. This movie is a great piece of nonsense.

/5

E.G.G.S. fucked around with this message at 23:48 on May 1, 2021

E.G.G.S.
Apr 15, 2006



3. Suspiria (1977)
Goblin and Tangerine Dream duking it out over who does the moodier soundtracks for cult 70s/80s hits. The lighting in this movie is gorgeous and my eyes are still bleeding from the colours, I am pretty confident Iím the first person to notice this. The story is dumb but who cares when itís this slick. Suspiria is an experience.

The Synapse 4K disc melted my television.

/5

E.G.G.S. fucked around with this message at 13:48 on May 12, 2021

E.G.G.S.
Apr 15, 2006



I saw Neon Demon during an afternoon matinee , everyone but me and someoneís cool grandma walked out of it right before the necrophilia scene, the exit door slammed for the last walk outs and that part unfolded. Hooting. I need to revisit that movie.

E.G.G.S.
Apr 15, 2006



4. Suspiria (2018)
Drops the bright lurid colours of the original for a freezing dull and drab palette. They go all in on the dance scenes, the original the dance scenes just looked like people doing what I think ballet is around a room, these people look like theyíve devoted their lives to me not really paying attention to them in the background during a stage musical. We have gone from Giallo nonsense to look how political my movie can be having witches laugh at small penises. Thereís an extra hour of story here and Iím still treading water over the witchy dance school. The finale is incredible.

/5

Fran Challenge 7. Mother's Day

E.G.G.S. fucked around with this message at 13:48 on May 12, 2021

E.G.G.S.
Apr 15, 2006



5. Wacko (1982)
It spoofs Halloween, The Omen, Psycho and a bunch of other classic horror films and it's just as funny as them. Almost none of the gags land and some just keep on going and going until you maybe show a hint of a smirk for the briefest second.

.5 /5

E.G.G.S.
Apr 15, 2006



6. Hšxan: Witchcraft Through the Ages (1922)
A stunning achievement, itís just about two hours and doesnít feel it at all, the sets and the majority of the scenes are wild. Haxan is a terrible entry point into silent cinema, nothing else is like it, itís so good, gonna be always chasing that dragon. You sometimes forget nudity existed in 1922. ďHey did that movie just call me a slut?Ē

/5

E.G.G.S. fucked around with this message at 02:35 on May 5, 2021

E.G.G.S.
Apr 15, 2006



7. The Cremator (1969)
Going to honk the way ahead of it's time horn here. Fantastic editing and transitions throughout, I had to keep checking when this was made. Mr K is a terrifying presence , he just does not stop and when he starts talking into the camera at me I'm trying to get out of the room to escape. This is a suffocating movie.

/5

Fran Challenge 4. Movie of the Month

E.G.G.S. fucked around with this message at 13:45 on May 12, 2021

E.G.G.S.
Apr 15, 2006



8. Hell Night (1981)
Yes it was.

/5

9. Shakma (1990)
The pitch meeting for this was just "Wanna see how loving mad we can make a monkey"
It plays out like a standard slasher but ... it's a baboon! The thing smashing against doors is horrifying

/5

E.G.G.S.
Apr 15, 2006



10. Tremors (1990)
A fantastic creature feature that plays out how you wanted those 50s schlock movies to play - it graboids your attention immediately. Jaws in the desert.

.5 /5

Are any of the sequels good?

E.G.G.S.
Apr 15, 2006



11. Cruising (1980)
I can still hear all the leather. This is one of the sweatiest grimiest slashers there is. Joe Spinell at his absolute sleaziest which should be impossible. The jockstrap and hankie budget on this mustíve been astronomical.

The new audio commentary track on the Arrow release is wilder than the movie.

/5

Fran Challenge 9. Scream, Queen!

E.G.G.S. fucked around with this message at 13:49 on May 12, 2021

E.G.G.S.
Apr 15, 2006



Dolly Parton's cover of 'Save the Last Dance for Me's opening note sounds just like Cannibal Holocaust music.

E.G.G.S.
Apr 15, 2006



12. Amityville: Dollhouse (1996)
A hoot of 90s DTV nonsense. I'm almost certain they ran with the dollhouse angle because some set designer got Spinal Tap'd over feet and inches. Remember in the first movie when that family was terrorized by the house they just moved into well how about this time we move that house into ... another house.

/5

E.G.G.S.
Apr 15, 2006



13. Dawn of the Dead (2004)
A great remake, it doesnít get bogged down with just redoing stuff with the original but goes where it wants. If this kept the pacing of the opening ten minutes it would easily be superior. Running zombie apocalypse? Just end me now.

/5

E.G.G.S. fucked around with this message at 03:21 on May 17, 2021

E.G.G.S.
Apr 15, 2006



14. Patrick (1978)
This was so slow and boring that even the slightest movement by Patrick came off as thrilling. Patrick perfectly captures all the nuances and excitement of being in a vegetative state.
Favourite part has a man who devoted over a decade of his life to become a doctor just slap Patrick really hard across his face. "Well I'm all outta ideas

/5

E.G.G.S.
Apr 15, 2006



15. Lurking Fear (1994)
Some of the creature effects are neat which is pretty much just me writing ďthatís nice dearĒ. A Full Moon production under 80 minutes might as well be 3+ hours, it sure feels like it. Jeffrey Combs carries this to the finish but just barely.

.5/5

E.G.G.S.
Apr 15, 2006



16. Mosquito (1994)
Its called Mosquito and there are mosquitoes, this goes above and beyond any expectations. Gunnar Hansen picked up a chainsaw and said "I haven't handled one of these in about 20 years", its enjoyable.

/5

E.G.G.S.
Apr 15, 2006



17. All-American Murder (1991)
Fire. Walken ... with me.

Kid, Iíve knocked off more undergrads than Kent State. Just a taste of the dialogue this tonal monstrosity dumps all over you, then it drops a really fun Christopher Walken dressed as a detective character. There is almost zero warning of the bloodbath it turn so into, but donít worry the quips never end. It really canít be stated enough how wrong this movies tone is - and how wonderful it is because of it. Thank you, Potsie.

.5/5

E.G.G.S.
Apr 15, 2006



18. Urban Legend (1998)
Suffers from too slick 90s obnoxiousness but it's all forgiven with the goth girls goth chat room. Honey we are all on a similar dark path.

/5

E.G.G.S.
Apr 15, 2006



19. Humongous (1982)
As one does I raced to check the imdb trivia section and came across this gem
Director Paul Lynch was inspired to make this film after he heard a kid use the word "humongous."

100% certain it was followed by - waste of time.

A bunch of super horny teens crash their boat into buzzkill island and a whole bunch of who cares happens. It's too dull to be memorable outside of spooky VHS horror aisle browsing memories.

.5/5

E.G.G.S.
Apr 15, 2006



20. Grave Secrets (1989)
The haunts are all really cutesy floating eggs , books, transparent phantoms and killer axes - if this didnít suddenly drop a rape angle on you it couldíve been Disneyís Haunted Mansion. Some really funny nonsense within - our professor character suddenly starts writing in a never before seen journal while we can hear his thoughts, the only time this happens and him and his brain suggest maybe it has something to do with the lady who owns the house and without skipping a beat the camera cuts to the lady and we get a ďI wonder what heís thinking aboutĒ.

/5

E.G.G.S.
Apr 15, 2006



21. Army of the Dead (2021)
Snyder back in good opening credit sequence form. I fully embrace replacing problematic sex pest actors with a dry wise cracking Tig Notaro from now on.

.5/5

E.G.G.S.
Apr 15, 2006



22. One Dark Night (1982)
Another one of those things that disappointed me greatly about high school: not once was there a clique of sassy girls who all wore custom made jackets with their stupid group name on the back. Yeah, hi, i expected my secondary education years to be like Grease. Adam West was a prisoner of his own voice, every time he does anything Iím laughing.

This really should be rated lower but the last 20 minutes are so relentless with the spookies it gets kinda good, it's like that scene in Poltergeist when the neighbourhood goes "gently caress this" and just starts launching corpses but it just doesn't stop! Other than that this is so boring that I forgot Adam West was in it until his character showed up again. You could fast forward to the final reel and be totally fine.

.5/5

23. Hack-O-Lantern (1988)
An elderly teenager satanic panic thrill ride. This is kinda great but because of all the wrong reasons: there's a sudden dream sequence music video where our lead dreams he isnt even the lead performer which rules, a bad standup act, a lady dancing with snakes, and it gets super lewd for no reason. Too much happens in this movie. Sleazy wonderful nonsense.

.5/5

E.G.G.S. fucked around with this message at 13:13 on May 22, 2021

E.G.G.S.
Apr 15, 2006



24. The Ruins (2008)
A bunch of wooden blocks are stalked by killer vines (the plant not the once popular video app - I apologize in advance for conjuring the idea for another awful Ring sequel). This is a well shot piece of trash that gets quite gooey but the characters for the most part aren't likeable so who cares.

/5

E.G.G.S.
Apr 15, 2006



25. Moontrap (1989)
It is a movie starring Chekov of course thereís going to be no budget. Thereís a few amusing parts, no not the monster stuff but they added a look how many pushups Walter Koenig can do scene. In space no one can hear your sighs of boredom.

.5/5

E.G.G.S.
Apr 15, 2006



26. Panic in Year Zero! (1962)
Things go to poo poo just as fast as they restore order. What it lacks in terrifying nuclear holocaust it makes up for in people getting slugged in the face.

/5

E.G.G.S.
Apr 15, 2006



27. Basket Case (1982)
Frank Henenlotter is probably my favourite genre filmmaker who would be absolutely horrible with a real budget. Flourishes in grime. Belial trashing that hotel room gives Charles Foster Kane a run for his money.

/5

E.G.G.S.
Apr 15, 2006



28. The Johnsons (1992)
The Johnsons is referring to the storm of penises within this movie, it's relentless. I like these movies where someone is thrown in over their head in investigating a gross spooky ritual. It drags hard in the middle but the ending is worth it. The crystal embryo demon thing looks like a little Lance Henriksen puppet.

.5/5

E.G.G.S.
Apr 15, 2006



29. Brahms: The Boy II (2020)
The boy do I never learn my lessons. William Brent Bell should only be directing people to their seats, good lord,

.5/5

E.G.G.S.
Apr 15, 2006



30. Scanners (1981)
What Stephen Lack lacks in acting chops he makes up for in spooky Scanner style staring. The sound design in this movie is menacing, whenever someone is about to scan it gets thumping. Next to JFK probably my favourite movie centred around a head exploding.

/5

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E.G.G.S.
Apr 15, 2006



31. C.H.U.D. (1984)
There's a real lack of C.H.U.Ds in this until the last half hour, just fast forward till then you aren't missing anything but a bunch of characters not interacting with C.H.U.Ds

/5

Top 5
The Cremator
Haxan
Tremors
All-American Murder
Cruising

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