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HUGE PUBES A PLUS
Apr 30, 2005





The Exorcist Bishop Bryan Ouellette, ladies, and gentlemen.



The first time I heard of this guy was when my chud cousin made me sit through an episode of this bullshit paranormal show called Ghost Adventures. The show consisted of performing an exorcism on a man in his living room because he was possessed by a demon who looked like a little girl.



Thanks to the pandemic, the bishop hasn't had many chances to earn talent fees appearing on Ghost Adventures. In the meantime, he holds mass every Saturday night in his basement and posts a weekly call-in show live on youtube where he talks about godly topics like the real reason we were forced through a lockdown last year was so we didn't notice the aliens visiting Earth. His church website gift shop offers blessing kits, glow-in-the-dark rosaries, and exorcist blend tea.

Ever since facebook put him in facebook jail because he posted a picture of Hitler on his profile he decided to abandon mainstream social media and start his own. It's full of people chatting about the paranormal, aliens, and plenty of anti-masker QAnon bullshit.

More recently, Bishop Bryan Oullette has become pretty fed up that the pandemic is keeping us from seeing the aliens and exorcising demons. He's taking drastic steps to make it end.

https://twitter.com/ExorcistBishop/status/1386165408261197824

https://twitter.com/ExorcistBishop/status/1386852671139819520

Last week he decided to get his flock involved in ensuring the pandemic ends before his New Year's Eve Las Vegas holiday and he doesn't have to waste his $260 bottle of Elijah Craig

https://twitter.com/ExorcistBishop/status/1387604757368410114

Why did I spend a perfectly good Saturday morning typing this garbage up? Because the exorcist bishop needs your help! He needs everyone to visualize the pandemic ending before New Year's Eve at 3:00 PM every day until May 4th.

So, will you help?

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HUGE PUBES A PLUS
Apr 30, 2005





Gazpacho posted:

disappointed that this thread isn't about bishop the aliens robot

Agreed, I would meditate for the rest of my life it saved his bottle of bourbon



Instead, this is the bishop who we're talking about. He performs the mass in his basement.



HUGE PUBES A PLUS
Apr 30, 2005





SMILLENNIALSMILLEN posted:

did it relaly take you all morning to write the op

yes







































no

HUGE PUBES A PLUS
Apr 30, 2005





Venomous posted:

lmao, I was wondering how the church gave him a diocese. Turns out they didn't lmaooooooooo

then again, it's not too surprising that a fake bishop would be into fake paranormal bullshit

Church membership consists of himself and the two women you see in the videos with him performing mass in the basement. And then there are the 20 or so people who watch his mass live on Youtube.

HUGE PUBES A PLUS
Apr 30, 2005





babypolis posted:

i definitely read the title as being about two very different kinds of "smashing" and "bourbon"

He means smash the bottle and waste perfectly good bourbon.

Basement church has started.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npGdo5fTTAA

HUGE PUBES A PLUS
Apr 30, 2005





Today's homily at Basement Church is supposed to be from the gospel of John but there's been a long tirade about Adam's fall and that the Jewish and Pagan version of hell is flawed because they don't have original sin. Also, salvation is freedom, and that makes the gubberment Satan.


It all goes back to that doomed bottle of bourbon

HUGE PUBES A PLUS
Apr 30, 2005





He's ending basement church tonight begging for money and please buy the blessing kits on the website we need cash.

HUGE PUBES A PLUS
Apr 30, 2005





F Stop Fitzgerald posted:

thats chris cillizza

You're not the first to think that.

From his personal social media:



Good for him

HUGE PUBES A PLUS
Apr 30, 2005





IT'S WORKING GOOD JOB EVERYBODY



https://nicholean.mn.co/posts/13914862?utm_source=manual

HUGE PUBES A PLUS
Apr 30, 2005





The Bishop's weekly paranormal call-in show is about to start.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qXPmojWXOdc

You can hear him mumbling to himself as he gets ready

HUGE PUBES A PLUS has issued a correction as of 23:56 on May 4, 2021

HUGE PUBES A PLUS
Apr 30, 2005





hard to say. few weeks ago he went off on a tirade about how the pandemic lockdown was forced on us because the aliens arrived and the government wanted us inside so we didn't notice.

last week he talked about Gnostism and false gods.

people do call in though and talk about their houses being haunted and could it be a demon?

HUGE PUBES A PLUS
Apr 30, 2005





they have to get their money's worth. he's really pushing people to call in

HUGE PUBES A PLUS
Apr 30, 2005





they have to fill time up talking about something.

HUGE PUBES A PLUS
Apr 30, 2005





lmao in the chat people are talking about movies and tv shows they've never watched


Hooray! Another week of wishing the pandemic away!

HUGE PUBES A PLUS has issued a correction as of 00:18 on May 5, 2021

HUGE PUBES A PLUS
Apr 30, 2005





these stories are pretty wild. I'm laughing at the woman talking about a guy vomiting up black stuff - clearly a sign of demonic possession

HUGE PUBES A PLUS
Apr 30, 2005





Good soup! posted:

Bryan Dick Omelette

HUGE PUBES A PLUS
Apr 30, 2005





Holy poo poo he just admitted they will trick people into letting them come to perform an exorcism because they try to back out.

HUGE PUBES A PLUS
Apr 30, 2005







HUGE PUBES A PLUS
Apr 30, 2005





https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_YGuw800REQ

HUGE PUBES A PLUS
Apr 30, 2005







Basement church has begun

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sguGw8bcnFY

HUGE PUBES A PLUS
Apr 30, 2005





Foo Diddley posted:

most ppl just have normal poo poo in their basements like sex dungeons and meth labs

but this fuckin' guy

you have no idea.

The call in paranormal show is on again tonight.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RE2JVQpE7To

Once again talking about false gods who get in the way of worshiping the true god and gnosticism. Also, sign up for my class and I will teach you how to avoid these false gods.

HUGE PUBES A PLUS
Apr 30, 2005





If you take his class you will learn how to put an end to the bullshit of worshiping false gods that make you live in fear and stop you from enjoying the freedom of restrictions from the pandemic.

He really needs your help to save his expensive bottle of bourbon guys

HUGE PUBES A PLUS
Apr 30, 2005





breadnsucc posted:

so the witches were right?

Part of the podcast was about why you should avoid ouija boards so a good possibility.

HUGE PUBES A PLUS
Apr 30, 2005





breadnsucc posted:

today is a day of rights being proven, first fema concentration camps, now this I'm not sure I can go on

but we have to otherwise the good guys win





https://www.straitstimes.com/asia/east-asia/mask-appeal

Published in 2017

HUGE PUBES A PLUS
Apr 30, 2005





I wanted to ask him what he thought about hijab but meh

HUGE PUBES A PLUS
Apr 30, 2005





dads friend steve posted:

if you subtract cspam goons itís gotta be single-digit numbers of ppl watching his basement masses

And his vestiges show. literally, nobody called his show last week. one person did, but as soon as he announced there was a caller they hung up lol

HUGE PUBES A PLUS
Apr 30, 2005









I'm rather shocked he posted this image with his phone number visible.

Here's his what 2020 taught me post on twitter



https://twitter.com/ExorcistBishop/status/1394150310743093250

HUGE PUBES A PLUS has issued a correction as of 10:57 on May 17, 2021

HUGE PUBES A PLUS
Apr 30, 2005





Another round of nobody calling the call-in show this week. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nbV-spJIpgo Starts in 10 minutes.

HUGE PUBES A PLUS
Apr 30, 2005





The past hour a caller has been talking about how she's basically whoopi goldberg in Ghost and she has dead people bothering her day and night

HUGE PUBES A PLUS
Apr 30, 2005





Atrocious Joe posted:

shocked to find out this guy is into astrology

edits: since astrology is based on "spiritual genetics," other ghosts and ghouls have astrological signs as well

astrology, tarot cards, carl jung, although he was into pagan stuff and orgies but the Christians ignore that part.

HUGE PUBES A PLUS
Apr 30, 2005





Been too busy to pay attention to what the good bishop is up to. He appears to be eating and drinking well. Has expensive tastes in cuts of meat and alcohol. Buy those blessing kits, folks!

Meanwhile, still pissing and moaning about mask mandates and now ... that drat vaccine nobody needs.

HUGE PUBES A PLUS
Apr 30, 2005





Basement church is back.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ROIn1lksoM

HUGE PUBES A PLUS
Apr 30, 2005





HUGE PUBES A PLUS
Apr 30, 2005





Good point.

today's homily is about how God didn't give us all the info because we only needed what we do have for salvation. This is why there are no aliens or ghosts mentioned in scripture

HUGE PUBES A PLUS
Apr 30, 2005





Buck Wildman posted:

are we talking about the knife trick robot what's happening here

Unfortunately, no. We are talking about a man in Atlanta Georgia who routinely tricks people into having exorcisms performed by him and his two sisters and appearing on cable ghost hunting shows. He created his own Catholic Church and performs mass in the basement of his house.

HUGE PUBES A PLUS
Apr 30, 2005





HUGE PUBES A PLUS
Apr 30, 2005





Buck Wildman posted:

he sounds cool af op

Except he's an anti-vaxer anti-masker asking his flock to pray the pandemic restrictions are lifted so he can go to Vegas on New Year's Eve. Oh, and if they don't pray hard enough to make it happen he's going to smash his overpriced bottle of maker's mark bourbon and we don't want that to happen, do we now

HUGE PUBES A PLUS
Apr 30, 2005





Zeroisanumber posted:

Elijah Craig

And if he really wanted me to be concerned about a bottle of bourbon he'd have bought Pappy Van Winkle.

correct, it is a bottle of Elijah Craig. It's not the bourbon he's concerned about. he's like every other chud who's mad that a piece of cloth and closing down places where groups of people spread a deadly disease takes away his freedom

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HUGE PUBES A PLUS
Apr 30, 2005





Another installment of the call-in show

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lv0AWJcQQgA






quote:

Join Bishop Bryan Ouellette and Sr. Mary Joan as they welcome new guest Michael Grosso, Ph.D. to the show. They will be discussing the nature of reality and how reality builds itself around our collective perceptions. They will also explore how the paranormal relates to the function of consciousness, using UFO's, miracles, ghosts, and demons as a template for analysis. Do these things exist at all? Do they exist the way believers in them think they do? Is there even more to paranormal experience than any one of us can possibly imagine?

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