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You do not have poo poo on your hands, so you improvise. "Ensign Cogsworth, where is the head?" He points you toward it. You go to the restroom and find some poo poo-covered TP, which you carry up to the top of the superstructure, and use the poo poo to draw a weed leaf on the flag in the middle of a smiley face, then raise it. Some of the mutinous crewmen try to stop you. You draw your glock and shoot their dicks off. Some fall off the ship, two others writhe around in agony. You take their rifles and leave them there. At the bridge once again, you order Cpt. Frida to contact the Coast Guard, and to tell them that the SS Boipussy has sunk. She sends the message and informs HQ that Dauntless will conduct search and rescue operations. One of the crewmen shouts for you. You go out to the deck and see many people leaping off the rickety boats and attempting to swim toward Dauntless. The speedboat is racing around them, before turning and gunning it towards you. A man on the bow of the speedboat loads an RPG.. >_
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May 11, 2021 03:54
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>Burn a bunch of weed to create a smoke screen and make a hard turn >Open fire on the speed boat with the 25mm cannon >Open fire on the swimmers with the .50 cal MGs >Grab an AR and a bottle of rum to get ready for boarders
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May 11, 2021 06:31
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Burn some joints in your beard like Blackbeard
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May 11, 2021 14:44
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You have an old surfboard and some road flares, can the flares be used as propulsion for the surfboard to deliver some kind of payload to the Dauntless?* *idk what the payload would be
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May 11, 2021 14:50
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You radio Shoggath to ignite three pounds of weed on SS Boipussy to create an intoxicating smoke screen, then order him to send the old surfboard over with the remaining weed, using the flares as propulsion. That doesn't work at all, so Shoggath has a guardsman paddle the supplies over. You then order Captain Frida to make a hard turn to port. An RPG strikes the bow of Dauntless, causing minimal damage. "Ensign Cogsworth," you shout, "open up on that bitch!" As the ship lists hard to port, the 25mm opens on the speedboat, blasting its crew into flesh chunks and the boat into shards of fiberglass. As Dauntless and the towed SS Boipussy turn in a circle, the .50 cal on the starboard side starts firing blind into the smoke screen. After a few moments, people emerge in the water in life vests or clinging to foam pillows, begging to be let onboard. You dispatch sailor Greenwood to deploy the Zodiac boat to look for survivors and inspect the vessels for the good stuff. Greenwood finds 13 people still on the wood boats, high as poo poo, with 105 pounds of cocaine and 363 pounds of marijuana. As you have the boat slowly turn in circles, some of the swimmers are able to climb onto SS Boipussy, where you order them to be put in custody, 19 all told. The drugs are split among yourself and the crew. The few surviving sailors whom you shot the dicks off of, you kick overboard. The radio crackles again. It is Doctor Snappers. "Hey fucker, why aren't you here yet? You're only a few miles away, I'm waiting." You grab the radio. "We ran into a thing, Doc. We'll be there by evening." "Roger. Over and out." As sun lowers over the horizon of the Gulf of Mexico, you do a line of coke and blaze. Bellefontaine Point is within view from the bridge, and you can see the Betsy Ann anchored near the pier. Captain Frida informs you that an anomalous object has been spotted half a mile to the south. You stuff a couple blunts in your beard and light 'em as Dauntless plows the briny seas. Inventory: 9mm glock with 8 rounds, 3 M16 rifles with 160 rounds, old surfboard, 8 pounds of weed (for you personally + 1 and 1 half pounds of coke) SS Boipussy and everything on it (vw van, box truck, large tarp, 50 feet of rope, full bar), the Coast Guard Cutter USCGC Dauntless >___
Zippy the Bummer fucked around with this message at 02:26 on May 12, 2021 |
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May 12, 2021 02:21
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I dunno the next move, but Dr Snappers better bite this guy's dick off for great justice by the end of the CYOA.
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May 12, 2021 05:47
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>turn the survivors into a human centipede >Try to get binoculars onto the object to the south > Warn Dr snappers we may have more company
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May 12, 2021 07:16
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 just some context. i'll be back. a tree branch fell on my fence
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May 12, 2021 23:08
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The 19 swimmers prove to be migrants from central America. You radio Shoggath and order him to give them a half-pound of cocaine. He does so, and reports that they have started an rear end-mouth chain gang in the bar area of the SS Boipussy*. Fortunately there are no children involved since they all died in the ocean. Captain Frida has been monitoring the strange object to the south east. You get Dr. Snappers on the horn. "Yo Doc, is it normal for an emerald-greed pyramid to be in the ocean?" "What the gently caress do you think, idiot? Send Shoggath to investigate, and bring Dauntless to Bellefontaine Point. Out." With your binoculars, you can see the water around the pyramidal object frothing and churning. The pyramid is taller than the ships by several feet/meters. You order Ensign Cogsworth to detach SS Boipussy, and radio Shoggath to pilot that ship to take a look at the strange object. Dauntless continues on course to Bellefontaine Point. It is now evening. *I hate this, but that's ok. ------------------------------------------------------------------ You are now commanding the character Shoggath. >___
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May 13, 2021 01:09
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I dunno how to investigate an ocean pyramid, but take some diving gear just in case. And some gifts just in case its filled with aliens or something, so maybe some drugs and the surfboard?
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May 13, 2021 01:23
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>as a cryptid yourself, open diplomatic channels by offering who / whatever is inside the pyramid the finest drugs. and maybe a little human sacrifice if you're feeling saucy.
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May 13, 2021 01:52
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>comb your hair a little with your fingers before they put you on their viewscreen so you look nice
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May 13, 2021 18:16
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You order Ensign Cadiz, the young woman at the helm, to turn hard to the southeast. Eleven sailors under your command take up positions on the deck, with one other watching the migrants cavort in the bar area. You open up the laptop on the bridge, and fumble around trying to get some sort of uplink with someone. You furiously comb your hair with your paws in case someone appears on the screen-- always best to keep up appearances. SS Boipussy surges through the surf toward the emerald pyramid. Suddenly on the screen appears a blurry, murky image of what appear to be mermaids. At this point, you light a joint and blaze. "What's up and who are all yall?" A dozen sonorous voices sing through your computer screen in very poor audio quality. "We come bearing dire portents for the land-dwellers. The sea is angry and intends to punish you," the harmonic chorus announces, "repent your ways and aid us in the Great Healing, or you will all be destroyed." You puff a little. "Uh huh. Gimme a sec." You mute the computer and close it. "Cadiz, bust out those charts and tell me how deep this water is." You point to another sailor whose name you don't know. "Find a set of scuba gear that would fit a six-foot-tall skunk ape, just in case. And bring all the poo poo in the van up to the bridge." Meanwhile the radio crackles. Doc Snappers radios to you and Dauntless to steer far south of Bellefontaine Point. "Motherfucking poo poo is --- a ---to---ing shallow. Don n-- app-- out." You light up another joint and open the computer, greeted with the visage of a crab the size of an elephant, in a large green-lit room filled with stone pedestals and altars. Next to the crab is a Deer Man, whom you recognize. "Holy poo poo, Jammers is that you?" you cough. "I know some who might be looking for you." The crab roars. "Silence, ape! Hear our terms or be destroyed." "My name ain't ape, son, its...well its Shoggath to you." "I AM N'JJSAR THE MIGHTY. KNEEL." You toke. "I ain't calling you that. Come up with a better one." The crab looks nonplussed. "Uh...XBox360." "No. Try again. Third time's the charm dude." Ensign Cadiz whispers, "Sir, the seabed is about 20 feet below." The crab dons some glasses and flips through a leather-bound book. "Umm....ok...Aristotle. Call me that." "Ok Aristotle, I'm coming over. Out." You order Cadiz to full stop and drop anchor. You don your scuba gear and bring along 2lbs of coke and 3lbs of weed, along with a lighter, and swim to the base of the pyramid, where you find a hatch that you can enter. The lower levels are full of water, where the mermaids greet you and help you to the upper levels above the water line. There you climb out of the floor and see Aristotle and Jammers in the weird Grecian-styled room. "Jammers, dude, its been a while," you say as you strip off your mask and shake hands in the cryptid fashion. You toss the drugs onto the floor, and turn to Aristotle. "A gesture of good faith. What is it that you want exactly?" He begins to chow down on an entire pound of weed. "Let's see. The mermaids want human men to gently caress, and I want the destruction of the Church of Scientology and Mormonism. And I want a space ship. This one stopped working eons ago. But I'll haggle, if you're in the mood for it. And some taquitos," he adds. "Hundreds of thousands of years ago my ancestors--" "Stop. Jammers, how did you end up with this dude?" Jammers shrugs. "He's been recruiting cryptids for over a century to do various poo poo. Its a better gig than hanging out in the woods and eating raw flesh." >_____ ------------------------------------------- gently caress that took forever
Zippy the Bummer fucked around with this message at 03:53 on May 14, 2021 |
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May 14, 2021 03:44
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We got ourselves a primo party boat...err.. pyramid. Can't be that hard to get these mermaids some dudes to gently caress once we get the word out. And I bet they can hook up Doc with some sea turtle babes. I dunno about crab dude's needs though. Ask if he will settle for some taco bell catered to the Party Pyramid for now. Also at some point we gotta hotbox the whole pyramid. Not necessarily now. Just for the future DeadFatDuckFat fucked around with this message at 04:52 on May 14, 2021 |
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May 14, 2021 04:50
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Ask if none of those sailors know how to fix this pyramid spaceship? what do they even teach them at sailing school if they don't. Tell them they get to gently caress merpeople if they can get it up and running I love Shoggath
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May 14, 2021 14:38
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While Aristotle is high as balls and singing to himself on the floor, you rip open another pound of weed and blaze with Jammers. You find the weird alien computer screen thing and get a zoom call going with Doc Snappers, John Joe, and Ensign Cadiz. "Ok so, here's the thing," you say as you cough a bit, "wait, no, I'll try to make it short. I'm at the bridge of an alien pyramid space ship that parked here, like, way back. And there are mermaids lookin to bang human dudes, and this giant rear end crab who is currently high as gently caress, and a humanoid deer monster. What are yall's thoughts?" John Joe clouds his screen with smoke. "Dude, that's wild. Hell yeah. Doc said we had to go.....uh....away or something." Doc chimes in. "Ensign Cogsworth, are you there?" He appears on the screen. "Y-yes sir." "Set a course for the Florida Keys. And if that moron next to you fucks it up, tell him I will bite his dick off. And ask the mermaids if they know any sea turtles" "Yes sir absolutely sir." Ensign Cadiz adjusts her mic. "Excuse me, but what am I supposed to do? We have a lot of people on board, high and doing rear end to mouth, and the stern is somewhat damaged where the truck drove in-" "Who is this?" Doc snaps. You edge closer to the screen. "Doc, this is Ensign Cadiz, acting commander of Boipussy." "Alright Cadiz," Doc says, "You send some of your sailors over to the pyramid and make them hyper-gently caress those mermaids. If that is even possible. And get that pyramid working. Otherwise I'll have Cogsworth and John Joe come about and hammer your rear end with the 25mm like it was Christmas at the gimp orgy. Out." He hangs up. You finish your blunt. "You have your orders, Cadiz. Let's get to it." Four coast guardsmen set off from Boipussy to the pyramid, and lash the boat onto it. Jammers opens a window near the top to let them in. As the sailors clamber on, the mermaids sing harmoniously: "The sea will kill you, for you have betrayed her, you are destined for death. And you have such shapely muscles, and nearly hairless bodies." You and Jammers blaze in the bridge of the pyramid as you listen to the sounds of aquatic carnal union in the shallow water beneath the floor. "How many other cryptids did Aristotle hustle up?" you ask him. "Hmm. Besides the mermaids, we have a Cajun 'Squatch, and a chupacabra, but they spend most of their time getting shitfaced on rum on the second level. We had a kraken once, but when she realized the pyramid didn't work, she left for New England." A while later, one of the sailors emerges, water-soaked, onto the bridge. "Sir, Mr. Shoggath, we've looked at what we think are the engines. They seem like they are powered by some magnetic force, but we don't know how to start them. Also we are all stoned as poo poo." The screen lights up. "Sir? Capn' Shoggath? Ensign Cadiz. There is a Coast Guard cutter inbound from the west. It is not Dauntless, and they are issuing hostile challenge. What should I do? Over." >__
Zippy the Bummer fucked around with this message at 05:13 on May 15, 2021 |
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May 15, 2021 05:10
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>Send the coast guard some mermaid thirst traps to get them horned up >Have the mermaids drown them >Take their ship to the university of southern Mississippi gulf coast research laboratory and steal all the magnetic equipment
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May 15, 2021 08:47
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 I'll be back later. i have to pen the sheep
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May 16, 2021 01:04
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As you do a line of coke, you ponder what may be done, then go down to the second level of the pyramid, passing the comatose forms of the cajun sasquatch and chupacabra. The lower levels slosh with water. Three of the sailors are obscenely engaged with mermaids while the fourth is trying to figure out some kind of equipment you don't bother trying to understand. "Yo, mermaids, any that aren't currently fuckin," you call out. Nine surface from below, and begin singing before you cut them off. "Shut your traps. Lissen. I have a proposition for you. I don't have enough dudes for all you merfolk to bang at once, BUT there is a ship a few miles to the west with what I gotta assume has considerable amounts of man-meat. Swim over there-- shouldn't be hard for you-- and lure them all into the sea. Have your way with them or whatever, but when you're done, drown the fuckers." You toss one mermaid a pound of cocaine. "There, that should help." The mermaids leave with ten others. It is night-time. You spend a couple of hours blazing and playing poker with Jammers and Aristotle on what you can describe as the "bridge" of the pyramid, listening to the alien computers relay correspondence between Doc Snappers and John Joe. Doc sounds very irate and drunk, and John Joe very stoned. Both are moving their ships southeast to "get out of this shallow bullshit" as Doc describes it. Around 3AM, you get a radio call from Ensign Cadiz. "Sir, a, uh....well a mermaid just showed up here at Boispussy, saying that all the sailors on board that cutter are dead.....I suppose I'm requesting orders." "Roger that, stay where you are. The dudes are still working on the magnetic space engine poo poo over here. Is there still weed in the van? I suggest you and the boys roll some fat blunts and take it easy. Me an' Jammers are going to take the life boat over to that cutter, and leave Aristotle in command here." "Sir? Jammers? Who is that?" "He's a deer-man-monster. Don't worry about it. Out." You fold your hand and tell Aristotle, "Stick with us and you will never be sober again. And I'll fix your busted poo poo." You and Jammers climb into the boat the guardsmen used, and motor a couple miles over to the cutter, and clamber on board. It proves to be USCGC Bertholf. As the crew is all dead, you work the helm while Jammers handles navigation and the radio. You look over some maps. "Dude, a plan is forming in my brain," you say as you blaze. "First, cut our GPS or whatever. Then get Cadiz on the horn and ask if she can tow the pyramid to the east. If not, just call Aristotle and have him hotbox the fucker. drat, we should have brought that chupacabra with us." "Why?" "They're squirrely little fuckers, good at climbing and breaking in. We're going to the gulf coast lab of USM. Gonna steal the gently caress out of some tech for the pyramid." Jammers looks at his charts. "We won't be able to get very close, the water is too shallow." >___
Zippy the Bummer fucked around with this message at 04:32 on May 16, 2021 |
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May 16, 2021 04:28
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Send a party to New England to recruit (or at least to establish contact with) the kraken. I think Mario the sasquatch can handle that with a couple of the most well spoken sailors
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May 16, 2021 11:59
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>Get as close as we can, get a poo poo load of guns. >Take some zodiac boats with the mermaids as escorts to hit the marine lab
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May 17, 2021 00:14
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You radio Doc. "Hey man, we need some engineers to pilot this boat. Me an Jammers are going ashore and the ship can't get close." You take a long toke. "Also I want to send an expedition to Cape Cod." "What? Why?" "To find that kraken and get her on our team. Oh, and Jammers and I want to steal some poo poo. But it is just us here and the mermaids can't live out of the water--" "John Joe! Are you there?" Doc shouts. "Yeah Doc what's up man?" "Do you have a pilot on board?" "I think so, yeah. Wow man, you sound worked up." "Send them with your helicopter to pick up a helmsman from the pyramid and bring them to Bertholf so they can drive the thing." "Why can't Shoggath just drive it himself?" "BECAUSE, YOU STUPID SHITBIRD, THEY ARE GOING TO STEAL ENGINE TECH FOR THE ALIEN PYRAMID, AND I'M DRUNK AS PISS. JUST DO IT. Out." You radio Ensign Cadiz, who reports that Boipussy cannot tow the pyramid. You tell her to haul anchor and head due east. At around 7AM as the sun is rising, the MH-65 Dolphin chopper arrives, bearing a young officer, fresh from coital mayhem with numerous mermaids. He introduces himself as Lieutenant Rains. "Rains, take the helm of this cutter, son, and cruise due east. Don't do anything stupid, and refuse contact with any Coast Guard sources. There is enough guzzoline, and the ship seems ok, so you should be able to pilot it alone. Here, take this," as you hand him a dime-bag, "Get to the Florida Keys, and wait for me there. Or if you get chased, go full speed to Cape Cod. This ship has the range for it. Suck a dick and stay frosty." Rains salutes and takes the helm. You and Jammers put to sea on a zodiac boat, and steer north in the breaking dawn. Inventory: 3 pounds of weed, 1/2 pound of cocaine, Zodiac boat, two M16 rifles with 200 rounds of ammo. Part 1
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May 17, 2021 01:38
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Part 2 The helicopter thunders back overhead to Dauntless, as three mermaids swim alongside your zodiac boat. Jammers keeps an eye out while you steer. As the sun rises and the gulls and pelicans wheel about, the two of you put ashore just south of Eagle Nest Road. You drag the boat onto the sand hills and take your gear. "We should have done this at night," says Jammers, "I think we're gonna be conspicuous." "Nah man, it'll be fine. Carry the drugs, let's head inland." You trek across marshland to Gollot Avenue, then head north alongside the road, keeping to the trees and shrubs. You end up just south of Laurel Oak Drive, only a bit away from the lab. There is a fair amount of traffic, and people walking around the complex. The two of you set up camp (you sit down under a tree and blaze), and wait for nightfall. Around 11PM, you sneak across the road and through the woods to the lab. It is well lit in the empty parking lot, and you and Jammers hunch-jog through the light-wells cast by the lamps, until you find a steel door to the basement. As you try to rip the door open with brute strength, a flashlight shines on you. A couple of rent-a-cops shout, "Hey there, what the hell yall up to-- oh God what the gently caress?!" >___
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May 18, 2021 00:12
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>Explain that you're here for the annual Biloxi Furcon Orgy >Ask if they have any poppers and want to join >Offer them weed Pinche Rudo fucked around with this message at 05:12 on May 18, 2021 |
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May 18, 2021 01:17
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"My dudes, we're jus' here to set up for the furcon. Chill." The guards exchange looks. "What con? We don't hold cons here, this a research lab." One guard reaches for his radio. You take some weed from Jammers. "Look, man, let's just blaze a bit and talk this over. I know you can't afford it, you must get paid in dog poo poo." The first guard looks hesitant. The second, an older grey-haired man, asks, "No one told us about any con. You got ID?" "Well," you say, "we like to stay in character, so we ain't got any wallets or whatever." You roll a joint, toke, and offer it. "We are only humble furries looking to get an early start at setting up for the convention. We don't want any trouble." The first guard accepts the joint, but the second one asks, "Why do you have rifles, if you're here to set up for a convention? Why do you have so much weed? How did you even get here? I didn't see any car but ours in the lot." He turns and runs out of the stairwell toward the parking lot. You can hear his radio crackling. The other guard is pretty calm by now. As the three of you swap the rest of the joint, Jammers finishes busting the door open. The guard uses her flash-light to find a switch. You are in a concrete basement lined with dim lightbulbs. You make your way to a junction of three corridors. There is a muffled humming sound. You can go any direction >___
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May 19, 2021 03:15
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bite the nearest object
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May 19, 2021 03:17
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>mark your territory liberally. If questioned, say it's a furry thing.
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May 19, 2021 05:12
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Up.
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May 19, 2021 06:44
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Turn on a big magnet to disable the snitch guard's radio
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May 19, 2021 12:46
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You take a corridor that leads to a moldy ladder. You bite the M16 in your jaws, and use your cryptid strength to help Deer Man and the guard up. The three of you emerge into a large open space, filled with equipment you do not recognize. The guard uses her flashlight to find a control panel. Jammers takes a look at it, and presses a green button while you all blaze. "There is a button over here that is labeled 'Activate'", Jammers says. "The cables are hooked up to a thing over there that kinda looks like a beer keg." You toke. "Press the button and see what happens." Jammers does so. A loud THRUM vibrates throughout the building, as all the lights abruptly turn off. The basement is dead silent. You take this moment to piss all over the room, blindly, and rub your armpit glands on various concrete pillars. Jammers takes out the lighter since the guard's flashlight won't work. "Here, take my redneck vest and light it on fire," you say, "and we'll use the light to unhinge whatever the gently caress this is, and bring it out of the building." With considerable effort, this is done. As the three of you drag the device out of the basement and into the balmy night air, the gray-haired guard confronts you. He waves his own makeshift torch around, and shouts for you all to stop. No one else seems to be around; the lamps are out, and the night is eerily silent. >__
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May 20, 2021 02:45
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>crush this man's mind by showing him how truly terrifying cryptids can be. Leave him a sobbing mess
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May 20, 2021 05:10
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>spitroast guard
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May 20, 2021 05:35
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Geemer posted:>crush this man's mind by showing him how truly terrifying cryptids can be. Leave him a sobbing mess Do this, but just cause him to have an existential crisis. If cryptids are real...then maybe everything he knew up till now has been a lie. Who can say what is real or fake anymore.
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May 20, 2021 14:28
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Geemer posted:>crush this man's mind by showing him how truly terrifying cryptids can be. Leave him a sobbing mess >This plus whisper in his ear "Yiff...."
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May 20, 2021 17:50
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You turn to Jammers. "Dude, change into your human form." As the grey-haired guard watches, Jammers begins to twist and writhe, his limbs shrinking or enlarging at turns, with crunching noises at the joints. The long snout and antlers shrink into his skull, and the fur vanishes, until a naked old bearded man is standing before the rest of you. The guard's mouth gapes open in a noiseless scream, as the rest of you puff. He faints. You throw him over your shoulder, then order Jammers and the other guard to load the EMP into a nearby wheelbarrow. You take turns pushing it down the lane until you reach the beach where you find the zodiac. You encounter no-one else, and there are no lights. The stars are quite brilliant. The guard tries to fiddle with the engine, which will not start. You and Jammers start a fire on the beach with a torch, and erect a spit-roasting apparatus. You strip the grey-hair of his clothes, and use his underwear to tie him to the spit. The rent-a-cop uniform you don. As the flames begin to lick his flesh, he wakes up, and starts screaming. You clasp a hand over his mouth, lean close, and whisper "Yiff..." before breaking his neck with one hand. A few hours later, the sky begins to have a dull light and a soft rain is falling. You and Jammers are gnawing at some bones while the other guard blazes. "Yo Shoggath," says Jammers, "I'm seeing cars with headlights on driving along the road, and electrical company trucks. I think we should bail back to the pyramid with this machine." "Boat ain't working, though." "We can use these pelvic bones as paddles. The waters' shallow here." Though the rain increases, it is easy going for the three of you, and you arrive back at the alien pyramid, and from a distance, find it surrounded by three coast guard patrol boats, with a news chopper circling overhead. There are a few guardsmen attempting to board the pyramid, but they can't seem to find an entrance. Inventory: 2 M16s with 200 rounds, a radio and flashlight that don't work, 2 pounds of weed, 1/2 pound cocaine, human pelvic bones, zodiac boat with defective engine, rent-a-cop uniform >___
Zippy the Bummer fucked around with this message at 03:35 on May 21, 2021 |
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May 21, 2021 03:32
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>break open a few bullets and mix some of the gunpowder and cocaine to make brown-brown >Snort the brown-brown >Have jammers go into his human form and put on the rent a cop outfit >Have a mermaid take him close to the coast guard cutters/news chopper and act like he's drowning to distract them. >have the rest of the mermaids help you sneak back into the pyramid
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May 21, 2021 21:08
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>EMP the gently caress out of that news chopper
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May 21, 2021 22:09
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Get some more bones
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May 22, 2021 02:10
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From about half a mile away, your boat is still very hard to see in the early dawn. You bust open two rounds of 5.56 and mix the powder with some coke. The three of you snort it, and feel alive as hell. "Jammers, get human again and put this guard uniform on. I have an idea." As he does so and struggles with the clothes, you ask the guard, "Who the hell are you anyway?" "Lucy O'Doole. Why?" "I wanted a way to call for you instead of pointing and grunting. Help me get this EMP to the front of the boat." Jammers strains to fasten his pants. "These are crushing my sack, man." "Good. It will give you a deece moose-knuckle and keep you pissed off." You stick your head overboard and shout for the mermaids. Three emerge. When they start singing, you cut them off. "Take Jammers here over near those boats and splash around a bit. Maybe shove his head underwater so that he coughs real authentic like." Jammers rears up. "What the gently caress man? I ain't drowning for this poo poo--" "Trust me, fellow cryptid. Trust the plan. BELIEVE in the pyramid. Also give me your gun." You rip it out of his hands despite his strong objections, and sling it over your back as two mermaids pull him over the side and begin hauling him toward the boats. "O'Doole, take my gun an' the drugs. Yo mermaid, tow us to the pyramid." The aquatic cryptid does so, as Jammers thrashes around in the surf, drawing the attention of the boats and the news chopper, which has been joined by a Coast Guard SAR chopper. As the zodiac bumps against the alien vessel, you see a man crouched on the side with his back to you. Quick as a fox you hop out, grab him and crush his neck with your jaws before a single scream can be uttered from his smashed throat. Aristotle cracks a hatch open, and you throw the dead dude in. You and O'Doole manhandle the EMP into the pyramid. The sun is well up by now. "What happened to the deer dude?" the crab asks as you all blaze. "We'll have to get him later, if he's alive. Have your people get this EMP in place, and turn that poo poo on." The cajun 'squatch and the chupacabra maneuver the device into the engine room and hook it up. Choops hits the "Activate" button. The device, and then the whole pyramid, starts to vibrate and hum like thunder. You gnaw on a human leg as your bloodshot eyes contemplate these events. The pyramid, now fully powered up and exerting an EMP pulse, disables all the surrounding craft. As you strip the leg down to the bone, you flip through news channels.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0wPrf6aCBU The pyramid rises into the sky. >___
Zippy the Bummer fucked around with this message at 05:04 on May 22, 2021 |
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May 22, 2021 04:58
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 03:21 |
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>snort more brown-brown >Drop some ropes for jammers and the mermaids >Go pick up the rest of the crew and head to Florida
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May 22, 2021 05:06
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