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Songbearer
Jul 12, 2007




Fuck you say?


My hanzo steel just can't be sharp enough to fend off all these fffffeeeeemaaaaleeess

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Songbearer
Jul 12, 2007




Fuck you say?


Spinz posted:

CONSTANT lovely SNIPING

mom and dad fight a lot
Sep 21, 2006

twenty-six characters long



I accidentally gave money to a serial wife abuser!!!!!!!!!!!

zgrowler2 posted:

waffleimages being dead and this leading to death of context in innumerable goldmine threads
I still think about the JC TenTon thread from time to time.

Elentor posted:

I had people stalking me on dating apps trying to hookup with me because of a let's play I wrote 11 years ago.

I wish this was a joke and that I could have said "a person" instead of "people".

Story time.

mom and dad fight a lot fucked around with this message at 14:39 on May 3, 2021

Icochet
Mar 18, 2008

I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~


Grimey Drawer

Knives for hands

DarkSoulsTantrum
Apr 6, 2011

this kills the crab

Sure, they're visually impressive, but a lot of posters find large avatars physically uncomfortable. Furthermore, the owners of large avatars often rely on their size alone and don't bother to develop more refined posting techniques.





Elentor posted:

I had people stalking me on dating apps trying to hookup with me because of a let's play I wrote 11 years ago.

I wish this was a joke and that I could have said "a person" instead of "people".

Iím guessing FFVII?

Was that really 11 years ago?!

Derpies
Mar 10, 2014

BORN TO AWOO
WORLD IS A TUG
Squatch Em All 1989
I am trash poster
42,069 DEAD WOLFGIRLS




My gimmicks have taken on a life of their own and now I can't ever stop tuggin

Literally A Person
May 17, 2017

dissin your fly girl


Derpies posted:

My gimmicks have taken on a life of their own and now I can't ever stop tuggin

Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006

In the cheery brightness of the 41st millennium there is only CHRISTMAS SPIRIT!


So, Elentor, did you take advantage of the FF7 strange or...?

Grumblepuff
Dec 29, 2018

You think you taught me a lesson, babe
Betcha think you "got through to me"
No one gets through here anymore
Right


Listening to Garbage's The World is Not Enough as you sip a Mountain Dew Code Red from a novelty Medieval Times flagon and agonizing over what to craft next in Terraria.

Literally A Person
May 17, 2017

dissin your fly girl


Who What Now posted:

So, Elentor, did you take advantage of the FF7 strange or...?

Imagine having seventy-five nerds with some variation of the name Sepiroth contacting you. Just brutal.

Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006

In the cheery brightness of the 41st millennium there is only CHRISTMAS SPIRIT!


Literally A Person posted:

Imagine having seventy-five nerds with some variation of the name Sepiroth contacting you. Just brutal.

Just make a girl character in any MMO.

Grumblepuff
Dec 29, 2018

You think you taught me a lesson, babe
Betcha think you "got through to me"
No one gets through here anymore
Right


Literally A Person posted:

Imagine having seventy-five nerds with some variation of the name Sepiroth contacting you. Just brutal.

The horror...
SephirothIRA has sent you a message!
AerithSephlovestory has sent you a video message!
ChocoboConsent90 has sent you a message!

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013




Literally A Person posted:

Imagine having seventy-five nerds with some variation of the name Sepiroth contacting you. Just brutal.

Haha yeah and imagine if you invited all of them to your hotel room over the period of 3-4 hours with a sign on the door that read "line em up" I mean could you imagine that like what would that even SMELL like I wonder wow?~!

The Bloop
Jul 5, 2004




Ultra Carp

Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006

In the cheery brightness of the 41st millennium there is only CHRISTMAS SPIRIT!



Actually a real problem I come across all the time is not being able to use SA emotes outside of SA

Waterbed Wendy
Jan 29, 2009


I can't find a tailor to make quarantine-related weight gain adjustments to my dress balldo that I need immediately for all the goon weddings I have been e-vited to.

Fantastic Foreskin
Jan 6, 2013

A golden helix streaked skyward from the Helvault. A thunderous explosion shattered the silver monolith and Avacyn emerged, free from her prison at last.



Who What Now posted:

Actually a real problem I come across all the time is not being able to use SA emotes outside of SA

The inability to use in texts is a serious problem.

Fashionable Jorts
Jan 18, 2010

Maybe if I'm busy it could keep me from you





having to deal with horror of nesting comments on other websites.

aegof
Mar 2, 2011



Recognizing goatse and loss but not Simpsons jokes.

Meme Poker Party
Sep 1, 2006

THIS NEW AV WILL LET ME POST LIZARD TITS TWICE AS EFFICIENTLY!

IT'S GIVING ME A FUCKING BONER RIGHT NOW!


https://i.imgur.com/GY3x07n.mp4

Meme Poker Party fucked around with this message at 17:09 on May 3, 2021

DeadFatDuckFat
Oct 29, 2012

This avatar brought to you by the 'save our dead gay forums' foundation.


Forums slow

Shishkahuben
Mar 5, 2009






all the interesting threads are filled with posters who are banned for being pedophiles, the nazis keep escaping their quarantine and making GBS threads up normal threads, the smilies are non-intuitive and I've acquired a lamia fetish from posting in general too much

okay so all of these are message board-specific, not goon-specific. I have no goon complaints

GABA ghoul
Oct 29, 2011

You're all I think, this thing set troublin


Being able to tell different animes apart

DarkSoulsTantrum
Apr 6, 2011

this kills the crab

Sure, they're visually impressive, but a lot of posters find large avatars physically uncomfortable. Furthermore, the owners of large avatars often rely on their size alone and don't bother to develop more refined posting techniques.





Shishkahuben posted:

acquired a lamia fetish from posting in general too much


Binary Badger
Oct 11, 2005

Trolling Link for a decade




Giving away all my Christmas money so a racist trucker from 'bama can blow it all on vent hoods, cold babies, and WalMart HB steaks

BIG TIT LIL NIP
Oct 5, 2005






my toes are too big

Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006

In the cheery brightness of the 41st millennium there is only CHRISTMAS SPIRIT!



Everybody thinks they have a Lamia fetish until they find the cloaca

Sid Vicious
Jan 1, 1970




BIG TIT LIL NIP posted:

my toes are too big

sand them down my good friend

The Butcher
Apr 20, 2005

and it was all going so well...


Nap Ghost

When asked about my accomplishments, I say I hosted a goatse mirror for several years out of my own pocket, about a thousand hits a day, then sold the domain to another goon when I got bored of wasting money on a giant gaping anus.

This is met with either:

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

The job search is going poorly.

Elentor
Dec 14, 2004


Nooner posted:

uhh this I feel deserves it's own thread

low key sex master posted:

Yeah this needs a thread please

DarkSoulsTantrum posted:

Iím guessing FFVII?

Was that really 11 years ago?!

Who What Now posted:

So, Elentor, did you take advantage of the FF7 strange or...?

Literally A Person posted:

Imagine having seventy-five nerds with some variation of the name Sepiroth contacting you. Just brutal.

Over the years I've shared this story a few times. It's not thread-worthy because I just want not to draw any attention to me anymore and I'm sort of glad that no one gives a poo poo about me anymore minus the kind souls who still support me on my patreon.

Long story short, it was really easy to find me in any dating app if you know how I look. So the first person to contact me was some chick who was 23, I was 25, she looked good and had a fun conversation. After I showed interest she was very forward. We met, she was extremely forward, we hooked up, etc. During none of this she even talked about the game.
Before ghosting me she told me that she was a fan and had a bet ongoing with her university class that who apparently was a bunch of nerds who read my LP in one of those offsites. Since I mentioned constantly I lived in Rio as a huge part of my LP early on was drawing parallels between the game and the slums, and she was also in Rio, the bet was "I bet I can get find and get laid with them". Which means she must have looked profile by profile to find me and searching for keywords wouldn't work because I don't really mention games in my dating profiles.

The other two stories are more of the same. One is fairly benign - I don't think the person knew who I was until after we started dating. The other involved someone getting my Skype, pretending to be someone who just added it by mistake and trying to chat with me, but being really horny and wanting to talk about the game. She basically did not attempt to be subtle at all. After I blocked her she kept showing up under different accounts pretending to be a different person but with the same obvious modus operandi. This poo poo went on for 2 years.

Edit: Not one of these people had an account on SA, they all read on off-sites.

Elentor
Dec 14, 2004


While we're at it I once heard a loving cursed flirt, completely unrelated to any of those stories, that was "if I dress like Aeris will you impale me" and I don't wish upon anyone to hear such loving cursed words irl.

Vim Fuego
Jun 1, 2000

I just had an epiphany: the internet is useless!





Ultra Carp

lmao

Valko
Sep 17, 2015


FFVII is like the Star Trek of video games. Nothing wrong with it, lots of people like it, myself included. It just attracts some really weird people.

Nooner
Mar 26, 2007
Probation
Can't post for 3 hours!


Valko posted:

FFVII is like the Star Trek of video games. Nothing wrong with it, lots of people like it, myself included. It just attracts some really weird people.

Makes me think of that quote a goon posted forever ago they heard from someone in LE who busted pedos, was something like "not all star trek fans are child molesters, but all child molesters are star trek fans"

PinheadSlim
Apr 2, 2015

FRIENDS for EVER

Elentor posted:

While we're at it I once heard a loving cursed flirt, completely unrelated to any of those stories, that was "if I dress like Aeris will you impale me" and I don't wish upon anyone to hear such loving cursed words irl.

When I was around 13-15 I was a huge weaboo and my entire social circle at school was also weebs. A girl who was interested in me asked me to "be her Goku"

I was destined to be a goon

Fantastic Foreskin
Jan 6, 2013

A golden helix streaked skyward from the Helvault. A thunderous explosion shattered the silver monolith and Avacyn emerged, free from her prison at last.



Elentor posted:

While we're at it I once heard a loving cursed flirt, completely unrelated to any of those stories, that was "if I dress like Aeris will you impale me" and I don't wish upon anyone to hear such loving cursed words irl.

Lmao. That's just... terrible.

Play
Apr 25, 2006

So I roll with a rolling thunder
And I howl with the howling wind
And I drift downstream for as long as it takes
To get up and around the bend

Elentor posted:

While we're at it I once heard a loving cursed flirt, completely unrelated to any of those stories, that was "if I dress like Aeris will you impale me" and I don't wish upon anyone to hear such loving cursed words irl.

Haha can't believe someone actually said that seriously!! Everyone knows Tifa is way better

Nooner
Mar 26, 2007
Probation
Can't post for 3 hours!


*quickly crumples up and hides the Yuffie themed "You STOLE my heart" valentine card I made for Elentor*
heh..hehe, yeah, what uh, what losers, heheheh

AlphariusOmegon
May 11, 2020





Who What Now posted:

Just make a girl character in any MMO.

Actually not as easy as you think it is, given most of them have girl characters too - At least in modern times these individuals have largely turned their creepiness at each other resulting in some of just the most degenerate behavior to technically take place in public (If behind the closed doors of PMs).

I know because my MMORPG strategy has long been making girl characters and having people give me free poo poo and that well has been running dry for YEARS now.

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super sweet best pal
Nov 18, 2009



Who What Now posted:

Everybody thinks they have a Lamia fetish until they find the cloaca

Up the bum, still make baby.

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