Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Post
  • Reply
numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014



bring me a whole pitcher of ceasars

extra picante por favor

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

The Walrus
Jul 9, 2002




Sid Vicious posted:

im really high and just keep ordering more and more party platters, i eat half of the things from each and the rest get cold so i dont want to eat them and the half full party platters just pile up and pile up and eventually the virtual reality we are all coexisting in crashes from all the particles and polygons etc and other computer terms, another brunch ruined, this time for the last time

a guy I know was once out tripping on lsd with another friend of mine and went into a shawarma place. my pal was tripping out outside and lost track of time when all of a sudden guy 1 comes running out of the restaurant with an arm full of shawarmas and the guy running the shop behind screaming at him 'get the gently caress out, just get the gently caress out of here, get the gently caress out'

turns out he'd been in there for 45 minutes, labourously ordering a shawarma, paying for it, and then ordering another one, and then another one, and on and on and on.



I tell this story at brunches all the time cause its amusing

my dog died im sad
Jun 29, 2015


Pockets all the loose sugar and creamer packets.

Sid Vicious
Jan 1, 1970




that's loving awesome lmao i can't even eat when im tripping he's heroic

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014



wow look at all this kooky poo poo on the walls!!!!

DarkSoulsTantrum
Apr 6, 2011

this kills the crab

Sure, they're visually impressive, but a lot of posters find large avatars physically uncomfortable. Furthermore, the owners of large avatars often rely on their size alone and don't bother to develop more refined posting techniques.





So weíre splitting this evenly? Weeeellll, I only had the burger and 2 mimosas, I think you guys had at least 3?

No, nah, never mind, itís ok I guess. Whatever.

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014



ill take an order of the shredded hash browns...oh...you only have cubed hash browns? do you have a cheese grater back there? bring that and the potatoes out here and ill do it myself.

Spinz
Jan 7, 2020

I saw when the cocktail waitress opened the sixth bottle, and there was a great beach theme night; and the sun became black as Goon Lust, and the whole moon became as blush.

Derpies posted:

*Gives you a casual hand wave*

Excuse me miss, I asked for the gluten free fresh biscuits and these clearly are the gluten free *SOY* fresh biscuits little Jaeydin here can't eat that.

"Oh I'm sorry, let me see what we have!"
It's all fuckin Sysco and I don't gaf so I just won't come back to your table now, dipshit

Glutenbooshees will tip 10 percent out of guilt even after anaphylaxis

Derpies
Mar 10, 2014

BORN TO AWOO
WORLD IS A TUG
Squatch Em All 1989
I am trash poster
42,069 DEAD WOLFGIRLS




wtf does artenesinial mean? Ill just have a mcmuffin thank you

paranoid randroid
Mar 4, 2007


Sid Vicious posted:

im really high and just keep ordering more and more party platters, i eat half of the things from each and the rest get cold so i dont want to eat them and the half full party platters just pile up and pile up and eventually the virtual reality we are all coexisting in crashes from all the particles and polygons etc and other computer terms, another brunch ruined, this time for the last time

im embedded halfway inside the wall two tables over, vibrating & t posing

Sid Vicious
Jan 1, 1970




paranoid randroid posted:

im embedded halfway inside the wall two tables over, vibrating & t posing

this makes me so uncomfortable lol

Bonzo
Mar 11, 2004

Just like Mama used to make it!


*is having a hangover diarrhea poo poo in the men's room*

Derpies
Mar 10, 2014

BORN TO AWOO
WORLD IS A TUG
Squatch Em All 1989
I am trash poster
42,069 DEAD WOLFGIRLS




Bonzo posted:

*is having a hangover diarrhea poo poo in the men's room*

*is in the next stall and *

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013




*follows one of you nonchalantly up to the small buffet or omlette station, whatever*
...yo. Dude they got pinball table out over on the side of the where the old main entrance or food court or whatever it was. It's still ON dude, you got any change? I got like 2.50, you wanna go?

DarkSoulsTantrum
Apr 6, 2011

this kills the crab

Sure, they're visually impressive, but a lot of posters find large avatars physically uncomfortable. Furthermore, the owners of large avatars often rely on their size alone and don't bother to develop more refined posting techniques.





What about brunch at a strip club?

Derpies
Mar 10, 2014

BORN TO AWOO
WORLD IS A TUG
Squatch Em All 1989
I am trash poster
42,069 DEAD WOLFGIRLS




DarkSoulsTantrum posted:

What about brunch at a strip club?

Woah way to close to mixing the tuggin and brunching streams

OMFG FURRY
Jul 10, 2006

[snarky comment]

willfully mispronounces carafe every time I order one, everyone else at the table has long since giving up asking me to pass it down

beer gas canister
Oct 30, 2007

W E L C O M E T O M Y C U S T O M T I T L E ! ! !


Plaster Town Cop

Feeling blessed because the waitress left a whole pot of coffee at our table

bagmonkey
May 13, 2003




Grimey Drawer

I'm the "oh poo poo I must've left my card at the bar last night, you got me?" guy who's with every 30-something brunch party

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013




bagmonkey posted:

I'm the "oh poo poo I must've left my card at the bar last night, you got me?" guy who's with every 30-something brunch party

Yeah dude, you left it at my place.
*hands you your card in front of everyone*

Spinz
Jan 7, 2020

I saw when the cocktail waitress opened the sixth bottle, and there was a great beach theme night; and the sun became black as Goon Lust, and the whole moon became as blush.

Derpies posted:

Woah way to close to mixing the tuggin and brunching streams

Lol

ikanreed
Sep 25, 2009

Rise and shine, master leprechaun.





This is so much sexier then the mall where they keep their clothes on. Pass me the ketchup

Full Metal Jackass
Jan 22, 2001

Rabid bats are welcome in my home

Hmm I've noticed that couple came after us and received their food first. I'm just saying....

*Keeps eye on every guest that came after*

*audibly scoffs when waiter takes another later groups drink order, and gestures at nobody in particular*

Full Metal Jackass
Jan 22, 2001

Rabid bats are welcome in my home

Do you have sweet and low? Only Splenda? Oh umm

*10 second pause while I overthink sugar substitutes*

Full Metal Jackass
Jan 22, 2001

Rabid bats are welcome in my home

Is it just me or does this water taste like tap water?

Derpies
Mar 10, 2014

BORN TO AWOO
WORLD IS A TUG
Squatch Em All 1989
I am trash poster
42,069 DEAD WOLFGIRLS




Excuse me waitress, uh Ms spins, running low on coffee here!

Armitag3
Mar 15, 2020

Forget it Jake, it's cybertown.


I insist on pulling my eyeglasses down to the tip of my nose and calling them egg bennies.

Into The Mild
Mar 4, 2003







i would like to order more beers

or do i have to drink mimmosas?

DarkSoulsTantrum
Apr 6, 2011

this kills the crab

Sure, they're visually impressive, but a lot of posters find large avatars physically uncomfortable. Furthermore, the owners of large avatars often rely on their size alone and don't bother to develop more refined posting techniques.





Derpies posted:

Excuse me waitress, uh Ms spins, running low on coffee here!

Snap your fingers to get her attention

Grumblepuff
Dec 29, 2018

You think you taught me a lesson, babe
Betcha think you "got through to me"
No one gets through here anymore
Right


She forgot my water, but I already started eating and it's been at least ten minutes and I'm not sure if I can flag her down because she seems busy today but I would really like to drink some water but how can I say it without sounding like a jackass "oh excuse me did I order a water?" "could I get a water, please?" like you know I did and you forgot but how can I say that like I forgot my own order it sounds passive aggressive as gently caress but I should have some water soon so just ask her like a regular loving human being but now I'm all worked up about it and she'll hear that in my voice and really I don't want to be a dick about it but drat this could have been avoided if we'd just agreed about the water situation from the start and oh god here she comes

"Doing okay here, folks?

"Yes, thanks! Great eggs!"


God dammit. She left again.

ProperGanderPusher
Jan 13, 2012






After I toast to the foreverial defeat of racism following the Chauvin verdict with my mimosa made from bottom shelf champagne and Minute Maid orange juice that costs ten dollars a pop, Iíll usually order the Benedict. Iím usually a biscuits and gravy guy but very few restaurants can make them right because everyoneís too fuckin stingy to use enough sausage or pepper.

Grumblepuff
Dec 29, 2018

You think you taught me a lesson, babe
Betcha think you "got through to me"
No one gets through here anymore
Right


ProperGanderPusher posted:

After I toast to the foreverial defeat of racism following the Chauvin verdict with my mimosa made from bottom shelf champagne and Minute Maid orange juice that costs ten dollars a pop, Iíll usually order the Benedict. Iím usually a biscuits and gravy guy but very few restaurants can make them right because everyoneís too fuckin stingy to use enough sausage or pepper.

I am genuinely thrilled at the amount of people eating eggs benedict at our brunch. Is this a bit, or do you all love egg bennies as much as I do?

ikanreed
Sep 25, 2009

Rise and shine, master leprechaun.





Hey I'm trying to save up for another new car, they don't need a tip.

Bonzo
Mar 11, 2004

Just like Mama used to make it!


I love you Hunny Bunny.

ALRIGHT EVERYBODY BE COOL THIS IS A ROBBERY!

Grumblepuff
Dec 29, 2018

You think you taught me a lesson, babe
Betcha think you "got through to me"
No one gets through here anymore
Right


"Excuse me, miss? Could I

Bonzo posted:


ALRIGHT EVERYBODY BE COOL THIS IS A ROBBERY!

- oh loving hell c'mon!"

ProperGanderPusher
Jan 13, 2012






Grumblepuff posted:

I am genuinely thrilled at the amount of people eating eggs benedict at our brunch. Is this a bit, or do you all love egg bennies as much as I do?

In my experience the floor and ceiling are high compared to other brunch items, and itís one of those dishes I canít just make at home easily.

BigDaddyDuck
Dec 23, 2018



Bonzo posted:

I love you Hunny Bunny.

ALRIGHT EVERYBODY BE COOL THIS IS A ROBBERY!

Awkwardly walks in mid robbery.
Patiently waits to grab a table.

Full Metal Jackass
Jan 22, 2001

Rabid bats are welcome in my home

These menus are filthy

Grumblepuff
Dec 29, 2018

You think you taught me a lesson, babe
Betcha think you "got through to me"
No one gets through here anymore
Right


I get up to stop the robbery with a handful of hot egg in my hand. At that moment the waitress swings around the corner to bring my water. I get a serving tray to the face and fall on the floor covered in water and eggs.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Universe Master
Jun 20, 2005

Darn Fine Pie



I'll have eggs george, because I don't eat traitor's eggs.

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • Post
  • Reply