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CommonShore
Jun 6, 2014

A true renaissance man


poo poo I might be able to get some custom rashguards made for super duper cheap soon and I might get an oildome one made for myself.

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CommonShore
Jun 6, 2014

A true renaissance man


Marching Powder posted:

lol if you have excess stock i'll paypal you whatever. i'd probably pay up to 150 if you get this quote printed on the back:

I'll keep this in mind and if I do it I'll just ship them at cost to anyone else who wants one. I'll need the right logo, though.

This might turn into a SAGK pipe dream, keep in mind. I have too many dumbass projects on the go already. In fact, at this moment I'm posting instead of working on my dumbass projects.

CommonShore
Jun 6, 2014

A true renaissance man


Marching Powder posted:

noted, because here is literally you in the oildome thread:


you may yet become the man you dreamed of

Holy poo poo. One of my personal rules is if I realize that I had the same idea multiple times, I need to follow through on it.

CommonShore
Jun 6, 2014

A true renaissance man


I was envisioning a mashup of a stereotypical b-league mma logo and a baby oil logo

CommonShore
Jun 6, 2014

A true renaissance man


Fight Night Rodriguez vs Waterson Breakdown


Disclaimer for gamblers – I am not a gambler. I talk about odds, but I use them as a talking point. When I highlight an underdog I’m not endorsing any kind of bet. Rather, I’m asserting that a fight looks more competitive to me than the betting line suggests. You’re responsible for your own decisions.

Holy poo poo this card is a shell of its former self. The headline was supposed to be Dillashaw vs Sandhagen, but instead we get a headline that really should be on the prelims somewhere. Is Michelle Waterson a draw? Anyway…

Flyweight Marina Rodriguez vs Michelle Waterson
At flyweight? Really? For those of you who don’t know, Michelle Waterson was the second Invicta atomweight (105 lb) champion and has long been judged undersized at strawweight. The “Karate Hottie” is coming off of a surprisingly fun split decision over Angela Hill in September, and losses to top contenders Esparza and Jedrzejczyk before that. Her fights are often bad, but they’re fun when her opponent presses the action. Rodriguez is also a strawweight, and she just had a very impressive win over fellow prospect Amanda Ribas (it had the weird stoppage where the ref kinda bumped into her but didn’t stop it). Rodriguez has some great muay thai and hits quite hard for her weight class. Actually a decent fight.

Welterweight Donald Cerrone vs Alex Morono
Diego Sanchez was supposed to be here, but he got fired and Morono is in (google “Diego Sanchez drama” for details). Morono is a Texan BJJ black belt with pretty heavy hands and some decent aggression. He’s coming off of a decision loss to Pettis, where he was outclassed but still stuck in there. He’s 7-4 1NC in the UFC. Do I need to break down Cerrone? He’s coming off a majority draw-cum-NC with Niko Price.

:siren:Welterweight Neil Magny vs Geoff Neal
Hey this is fun! Geoff Neal is a prospect coming off of a headliner loss to Wonderboy. He’s a good boxer but he was exposed as not having a great corner or great fight IQ. He’s now 5-1 in the UFC. Magny is tied for the most wins as a welterweight in the UFC. Do I need to break him down and introduce him? He’s coming off of a 5 round decision loss to Chiesa.

Heavyweight Marcos Rogerio de Lima vs Maurice Greene
MRdL is making his 12th UFC walk. He’s best known for being submitted by forearm choke (Romanov) and getting Von Flued. He also lost to Struve in 2019. Heh. Mo Green is the crochet guy with weird eyes. He arm triangled Gian Villante from the bottom but then got TKOed by Greg Hardy.

:siren:Lightweight Carlos Diego Ferreira vs Gregor Gillespie
Ferreira had a 6 fight streak going on but then dropped a FOTN split decision to Dariush in February. He’s quite good and well-rounded with a BJJ base. Gillespie is a chud who is a great wrestler but he got Bernie Sandersed in November 2019 by Kevin Lee. I think he had a fight booked but caught covid, if you track this kind of thing. This could be an excellent grapple fight.

:siren:Strawweight Amanda Ribas vs Angela Hill
Ooh I like both of them. Ribas is a great BJJ champ who has good offensive muay thai, but her defense, or at least striking under pressure, got exposed by Marina Rodriguez last time out. She has a win over Mackenzie Dern. Angela Hill is a veteran muay thai based fighter and a super cool person. She bounced back to her split decision loss to Michelle Waterson with a one-sided decision win over Ashley Yoder.

Prelims
Heavyweight Ben Rothwell vs Philipe Lins
Lol why is this on the undercard when the even trashier heavyweights are on the main? “Of Mice and” Ben Rothwell is a veteran with some top-tier wins. His last two fights are less than top tier – he squeaked by OSP and then lost a decision to Tybura. Lins is 0-2 in the UFC with losses to Arlovski and Tanner Boser.

Middleweight Phil Hawes vs Kyle Daukaus
Hawes is a good looking prospect right now. He’s a DWCS guy with a quick KO over Jacob Malkoun and then a good decision win over Imavov after that. He’s a punchy wrestleman. Daukaus is the younger brother of that cop heavyweight, and he’s 1-1 in the UFC with a loss to Brendan Allen.

Featherweight L’udovit Klein vs Michael Trizano
Trizano… I recognize… is… uhh… oh poo poo he’s a TUF winner. Lol. He’s a wrestler and he has fought only twice since winning then, going 1-1. Klein is a Slovak going by “Mr Highlight” who had a great debut back in September, getting a quick KO.

Flyweight Ryan Benoit vs Zarrukh Adashev
Benoit is 3-5 in the UFC. Adashev is an uzbek who is 0-2 in the UFC and 3-3 overall. Tyson Nam put him away violently back in June. I think he’s a famous kickboxer or something? But he seems like he’s poo poo at MMA. Who here is the can?

:frogsiren:Middleweight Jun Yong Park vs Tafon Nchukwi
Park is a Korean who is 2-1 in the UFC (consecutive fights on Zombie cards) – he’s the Iron Turtle! He’s basically a bald Asian guy who wades forward and throws haymakers. He’s the guy who lost a fight because of wrestling and then just decided to become a wrestler and then wrestled the poo poo out of a Welsh guy. Nchukwi is a 5-0 Cameroonian fighter who comes in with an impressive DWCS appearance and a UFC decision.

Welterweight Christian Aguilera vs Carlston Harris
Aguilera is 1-1 in the UFC. Harris is a Guyanan-born Brazil-based fighter with a 14-4 record, making his UFC debut.

CommonShore
Jun 6, 2014

A true renaissance man


kimbo305 posted:

If commissions do their job and are strict about preventing fighters from fighting when they gently caress themselves up with cuts, it's about all we can hope for.

This is an imperfect system but you're right - if the commissioners used their power to kill a fight when someone subjectively looks like Benoit, or like Aspen Ladd, or Travis Lutter, or whoever on the scale. And it would likely do a better job than any supposedly "objective" system ever could, because an objective system can be gamed.

CommonShore
Jun 6, 2014

A true renaissance man


Same day weigh in would just lead to fighters cutting the same and rehydrating less.

And Benoit is like 2-5 in the UFC. He was getting destroyed anyway.

CommonShore
Jun 6, 2014

A true renaissance man


Untrustable posted:

All my favorite fighters are getting old. It sucks in a way to be a fan for so long because after awhile you have to find new favorites. I've been fortunate that Arlovski is fighting well past his retirement. Even though he should absolutely stop.

This is why I watch b-league and write breakdowns. Because I watch 60% of LFA/Cage Warriors/Invicta cards I often have an idea of who new fighters are when they're making their debut, and the little notes I make every time give me just a bit more continuity so I can remember who they are in through their first 2-3 fights.

so e.g. I'm waiting for Michael "Jon Jones" Moraeles to make his big league debut.

CommonShore
Jun 6, 2014

A true renaissance man



He's extremely good for a 20 year old.

CommonShore
Jun 6, 2014

A true renaissance man


Cerrone should fight Guida because a) they've never fought, somehow, and b) Guida is unlikely to concuss him, and c) Cerrone actually kinda matches up favourably with him

CommonShore
Jun 6, 2014

A true renaissance man


Also I noticed just now that the UFC released a bunch of fighters in the last couple days. Notably Woodley is on the "recent releases" section on Wikipedia's active fighters list (which is more up-to-date usually than the official UFC page):

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_current_UFC_fighters#Recent_releases

CommonShore
Jun 6, 2014

A true renaissance man


Even the basic premise - that Fabia would have Dana's number - isn't plausible

CommonShore
Jun 6, 2014

A true renaissance man




Well plenty of time for this to fall apart between now and Saturday. Let’s see what we have

:frogsiren:Lightweight Championship Charles Oliveira vs Michael Chandler
It’s a vacant title. I’ve seen a few commentators describe this matchmaking as “the best guys who Khabib never beat up.” Oliveira and Chandler are opposites in like every way I can think of. “Aloe” Do Bronx “Vera” is a Brazilian BJJ whiz who came into the UFC very young and has been around for ages. After an unsuccessful run at featherweight, he returned to lightweight and has been just tearing up opponents since then with just a more complete game. His striking looks good, and his wrestling is improved, but his grappling is the main event – he has more submission wins and more wins by different submissions than any other UFC fighter. Last time out he just trounced Tony Ferguson, and Kevin Lee before that. Chandler comes into the UFC in the twilight of his career after a long time in Bellator, where he became famous for an exciting title fight series with Eddie Alvarez. He won and lost the title a few times, most recently getting KOed by the smaller Pitbull brother. He made his UFC debut on a 1-win streak and KOed top contender Dan Hooker in the first round. He’s a great wrestler with powerful and accurate, if unsophisticated, striking.

It's a great fight and the winner will probably fight the winner of McGregor-Poirier III, with Justin Gaethje floating around as well.

Main Card PPV
:siren:Lightweight Tony Ferguson vs Beniel Dariush
Tony just can’t get an easy fight. He’s the former interim champion who once boasted a 12-fight winning streak. He’s crazy and fights with combat rolls and elbows and blood. But he got beaten up really bad by Justin Gaethje, and then pretty bad by Charles Oliveira. Meanwhile, Dariush is streaking, again. He’s a habitual streaker. He’s an Assyrian (seriously) elite grappler with big hands. He’s hittable, but more than once he has KOed an opponent either while hurt or in an exchange. Last time out he had a great fight with Carlos Diego Feirrera. This fight has lots of potential for crazy poo poo to happen. The outcome really depends on how much Ferguson has aged and lost a step.

Flyweight Katlyn Chookagian vs Viviane Araujo
Katlyn “Blonde Fighter” is the former #1 contender. She got stopped via TKO cuts to Valentina in a one-sided beating, and then she got body-shot TKOed by Jessica Andrade. There might have been another fight in there – I can’t remember and it doesn’t really matter. For the most part, when Chookagian wins, she outpoints her opponents with not-especially-threatening striking, though she has shown off a great BJJ top game once or twice. Araujo is 4-1 in the UFC, with her lone loss being to Jessica Eye. Last time out she took a decision over Roxy. I can’t remember really much for details of that fight (or for Araujo) but I do remember it was one-sided.

:siren:Featherweight Shane Burgos vs Edson Barboza
Yessssss. Burgos is a solid striker who has good technique but goes into the fire. He has been floating around the edges of contendership for sometime, but has lost some key fights to guys like Calvin Kattar. He’s fun to watch and pretty good. Barboza is a veteran known for kickfighting. He is one of the best kickers ever in the sport. He kicks heads, he kicks legs. He snaps them, he spins them, and is fun. He has lost a step though and is trying to reinvigorate his career by moving down in weight. Last time out he took a pretty fun decision win over Amirkani.

Bantamweight Matt Schnell vs Rogerio Bontorin
I don’t know these dudes. Schnell has a 5-3 UFC record with wins over Smolka, Espinosa, and Tyson Nam, bouncing between bantamweight and flyweight. His most recent loss is to Alexandre Pantoja. Botnorin is a DWCS (Brazil) product who is 2-2 UFC and got walk away KOed by Kai Kara-France in March

Prelims ESPN/ESPN+
Middleweight Ronaldo Souza vs Andre Muniz
It’s Jacare. He’s good at fighting but getting old – he’s one of the all-time-great BJJ champions, and the former Strikeforce champ. He’s on a 3-fight skid, most recently being loving bizarro world KOed by Kevin Holland, but before that taking current Light Heavyweight champion to a split decision. Muniz is a DWCS product who submitted Bartosz Fabinski by a pretty sweet arm bar in September.

Featherweight Lando Vannata vs Mike Grundy
Groovy Lando is a pure action fighter who has been around for a few years racking up draws and split decisions. He has a few KOs, but he’s better known for gritty decisions. This is his featherweight debut. Mike Grundy is a Brit who is 1-1 UFC with lots of submission wins. He lost to Evloev in July. That might have been the fight where Evloev suplexed the poo poo out of him over and over.

Flyweight Andrea Lee vs Antonina Shevchenko
The lesser of their names. Andrea “KGB” Lee (not to be confused with One FC champ Angela Lee) is a Texan kickboxer. She’s long and rangy but not really threatening in her power. She’s on a 3-fight skid but is around because she’s ~marketable~ and wears a cowboy hat. Shevchenko is the less effective sister of the divisional champion. She has a pretty shallow game imo, but decent striking fundamentals. She’s coming off of a TKO win over Ariane Lipski for a 3-2 UFC record. Don’t expect fireworks out of this fight, but we might be treated to some blood if the stars align.

Just as an editorial aside it really bothers me that a fighter can be lovely and on a 3 fight skid and keep her job because she’s conventionally attractive, but a fighter like Lauren Murphy has to win like 7 in a row to get considered for a title shot, or Liz Carmouche can be released with like 1 loss.

Middleweight Jordan Wright vs Jamie Pickett
Jordan Wright came off of DWCS with a cut TKO of Ike Villanueva but he was KOed really badly by Joaquim Buckley. Pickett is a DWCS guy who I think had the storyline of making it to the UFC on his third attempt. He lost his debut to Nchukwi, who we saw lose to Iron Turtle last weekend.

Early Prelims (Fight Pass)
Flyweight Gina Mazany vs Priscilla Cachoeira
Cachoeira came in off of a huge streak of wins in Brazilian regional promotions and then got so smashed by Valentina Shevchenko that a ref lost his job over it. She KOed Shana Dobson in her last fight, to bring her to 1-3 in the UFC. Mazany is 2-4 UFC and TKOed Rachael Ostovich in her first flyweight fight. This is a pretty scrub-tier fight and it should be in Invicta.

Kevin Aguilar vs Tucker Lutz
Huh. That’s his real name. He’s 11-1 and coming in from two consecutive DWCS fights. Aguilar is a DWCS guy who is 2-3 in the UFC. He’s probably still around despite a 3-fight skid because the DWCS guys get roped into poo poo contracts and they get paid peanuts.

Lightweight Christos Giagos vs Sean Soriano
Giagos is 3-2 in the UFC in his second run here, though those two losses are to Charles Oliveira and Drakkar Klose. Soriano is 0-3 in the UFC and is coming back for a second run. What a fart of a fight. I’d happily watch a fight like this on an LFA card but why is this on a PPV?


Snack Rating: An ice cream sundae with a whole shitload of really good toppings on top of c-tier ice cream that melts too fast as you eat it.

CommonShore fucked around with this message at 04:42 on May 13, 2021

CommonShore
Jun 6, 2014

A true renaissance man


When Tyrone Spong broke his leg his facial expression was like "oh bother."

CommonShore
Jun 6, 2014

A true renaissance man


Screama posted:

I wouldn't say I agree with this, but I don't practice BJJ so I also don't know who else I would put forward as #1 lol

Even if we go quantitatively, he has more submission wins, and more wins by different submissions than any other fighter in UFC history. You can look at someone like Diego Ferreira who is a 3rd degree black belt or whatever, but he only has two submission wins. There are tons of BJJ heroes who come to MMA and just don't put their grappling together for MMA and end up winging hooks like bums or gassing out and getting subbed by nobodies etc. Qualitatively, he takes dudes down, controls them, chews them up, and takes them out with an extremely diverse game of attacks. It's loving awesome.

I rarely try to single out the absolute #1 in any qualitative category, but the only other fighters who come to mind who are on Do Bronx's level for (modern) MMA submission grappling results are Maia and Werdum.

CommonShore
Jun 6, 2014

A true renaissance man


mewse posted:

That's really odd. It kinda looks like a dive but maybe he just slowly lost his balance :shrug:

I looks like he had a stroke

CommonShore
Jun 6, 2014

A true renaissance man


Another thing is that apparently nobody knew what his nickname meant until he was in a title fight.

Do Bronx joins the pantheon of coolest fighters with Poirier, Holloway, and TKZ.

CommonShore
Jun 6, 2014

A true renaissance man


moctopus posted:

Sorry if this was already posted.

Someone on reddit made, or linked, to a collection of delayed knockouts.

Figured it would be neat since there was some extra discussion about it.

https://thumbs.gfycat.com/CraftyClassicIndianhare-mobile.mp4

Why would you apologize for posting a cool video? Post more.

CommonShore
Jun 6, 2014

A true renaissance man


Marching Powder posted:

lol who was that hobo who was on a tuf that wore supermarket board shorts in an actual fight forcing herb dean to rip off the tag mid fight

Cody McKenzie lol he owns

CommonShore
Jun 6, 2014

A true renaissance man


Johny Hendricks and the Mcdonalds manager

CommonShore
Jun 6, 2014

A true renaissance man


LobsterMobster posted:

Sincere Chael, especially on TUF, was always very amazing.

The secret to LouTrition was that Johny Hendricks was allowed to go to Whataburger, but not get fries or a soda. I think the Dolce Diet was strictly roids and diuretics

It was also a super secret breakfast meal (oatmeal + berries)

CommonShore
Jun 6, 2014

A true renaissance man


Want a breakdown?



I’m going to level with you – I almost didn’t do this one because this card is so dire, but I was bored and found half an hour here so lets do it. I’m going to do most of this from memory without looking up the fighters’ pages unless I need to.

Main Card – all of this is ESPN+
Bantamweight Main Event Rob Font vs Cody Garbrandt
Font is a pretty good punch-centric bantamweight, with solid power. He put away Marlon Moraes in December, leaving him on a 3-fight winning streak. Cody Garbrandt is the former divisional champion who just recovered from a 3-fight skid by loving decapitating long-time top contender Raphael Assuncao in one of the best KOs you’ll ever see. Oh and now he’s recovering from Covid, which cost him a shot at 125 lb champ Devi Figgs. Cody’s strength is that he is possibly the fastest puncher in the sport; his weakness is that he has a questionable chin.

Strawweight Yan Xiaonan vs Carla Esparza
Yan is the other ranked Chinese strawweight. She’s undefeated in the UFC but she hasn’t finished anyone. She’s basically a kickboxer and she has gotten past opponents like Angie Hill and Claudia Gadelha. Esparza is the division’s first champion, and as of this week she’s probably the best wrestler in the division by a wide margin. She’s on a 4 fight streak having squeezed out some split decisions over Marina Rodriguez and Michelle Waterson. Oh and she has a win over the current champion.

Heavyweight Justin Tafa vs Jared Vanderaa
Tafa has nowhere near enough fights, but he’s Mark Hunt’s protégé and he has a sweet moustache. He is 1-2 in the ufc and looked like dogshit in a decision loss to Carlos Felipe in January. He has room to develop though, and he’s basically a baby for a heavyweight, so it’s worth watching him to see if he levels up. Vanderaa is a DWCS guy who lost to Spivak in his UFC debut.

Featherweight Felicia Spencer vs Norma Dumont Viana
Spencer is a Canadian grappler who was given an opportunity to show how tough, game, and brave she is against Amanda Nunes. She’s actually a decent fighter, and cool and likeable, but she unfortunately doesn’t have a division. I suspect that they brought in Viana just because they’re contractually obligated to give her a fight or something. She lost to Megan Anderson, went down to Bantamweight, missed weight, won a fight, and then is back at featherweight. Don’t be surprised if both fighters get released after this. Unionize, ladies.

Flyweight David Dvorak vs Raulian Paiva
Making me actually look at Wikipedia pages and tapology here. I’ve definitely seen Dvorak fight twice but I don’t remember him. He’s a Czech with a 2-0 UFC record, most recently beating Jordan Espinosa. No idea. Paiva is a Brazilian who came from DWCS to take surging Kai Kara-France to a split decision. I remember that being a good fight. He’s now on a two fight winning streak, though he missed weight last time.

Middleweight Jack Hermansson vs Edmen Shahbazyan
I hate this matchup from a divisional development perspective but it’s a good fight nonetheless. Shahbazyan is the other Glendale Fight Club fighter. He’s an extremely young striker who is good at fighting but bad at not getting beaten up by Derek Brunson. Hermansson is a Norwegian grappler, now fringe contender, who lost his momentum to Marvin Vettori in his last fight. He’s very tough and game and does cool grapple poo poo.

Prelims
Bantamweight Ricardo Ramos vs Bill Algeo
Ramos is a hot-cold fighter best known for his spinning back elbow poo poo HE’S DEAD KO of Aiemann Zahabi. He got KOed by Lerone Murphy in July. Algeo the guy who fought Lamas in Lamas’s retirement fight and looked decent in a loss. He outworked Spike Carlyle after that. He’s a pretty well-rounded fighter with an inflection towards wrestling and looking like he eats corn. Note that both fighters are making their bantamweight debuts here, I think, moving down from featherweight.

:frogsiren:Ben Rothwell vs Chris Barnett
Of Mice and Ben is back – his last fight got cancelled for some reason I don’t even remember. He’s big and he’s dumb and he walks forward like a zombie winging punches. He draws late replacement Chris “Huggy Bear” Barnett, a 5’9” former super heavyweight who is way too agile and hilarious for a guy his size. He does like spinning kicks and back flips and stuff. Most of his wins are in Road FC in China, but he’s a darling of those of us who follow z-tier international MMA.

Welterweight Court McGee vs Claudio Silva
Court McGee is still around eh? Should I even check what happened in his last fight? Sigh I better. Oh he lost to Carlos Condit to end up on a 3-fight skid, and now he’s 3-7 in his last 8. Ok. He’s a former TUF winner who is basically a grinder and he apparently has some kind of Dana White Privilege. Silva is an older grappler with really embarrassingly bad striking technique who put together a long winning streak, including Leon Edwards, and who got outpointed by James Krause in October for his first UFC loss.

Flyweight Bruno Gustavo da Silva vs Victor Rodriguez
Best name on the card! Bruno Gustavo is a Brazilian who is 1-2 1NC in the UFC. He KOed JP Buys in March. No idea, though I recognize his picture on Tapology. Victor Rodriguez is an American who got KOed by hot prospect Adrian Yanez in October. He has wins in Alaska FC and something called “Blood Sweat & Beers.” I think he’s moving down from bantamweight.

Featherweight Josh Culibao vs Sha Yilan (aka Shayilan Nuerdanbieke?)
Culibao is an Aussie who is 0-1-1 UFC with a Draw to Charles Jourdain. Shayilan is a Chinese fighter who is 19-6 and making his UFC debut. He is tagged as a grappler and has a 2-1 series with “Yibugele” and several fights in something called WLF W.A.R.S.


Lightweight Damir Hadzovic vs Yancy Medeiros
Hey Yancy is still around! He’s an action fighter – lanky kickboxer – who is worth watching. He lost a decision to Lando Vannata in February 2020, apparently, and that leaves him on a 3-fight losing streak. Hadzovic is Bosnian-Danish and has apparently been around for a while. His best win is to Marcin Held. He got stormed by Renato Moicano in Mocano’s Lightweight debut. Probably a pink slip fight.

Lightweight Rafael Alves vs Damir Ismagulov
Ismagulov is 3-0 in the UFC with 3 unanimous decisions, notably over Thiago Moises. He came from M-1. Alves is a Brazilian journeyman who fought his way in through DWCS and is making his UFC debut.

CommonShore
Jun 6, 2014

A true renaissance man


The power of crows

CommonShore
Jun 6, 2014

A true renaissance man



:negative:

CommonShore
Jun 6, 2014

A true renaissance man


Not that I'm defending the fouls in that fight, but didn't Rivera's corner say some pretty awful poo poo about Bisping's family in the lead up to it? IIRC he was angry at them not because of the trash talk, but because they dragged his wife and kids into it.

CommonShore
Jun 6, 2014

A true renaissance man


Bisping used to brag that he had a resting heart rate that was in the 20s or 30s or something

CommonShore
Jun 6, 2014

A true renaissance man


I'm surprised that more fighters haven't popped for EPO over the years.

CommonShore
Jun 6, 2014

A true renaissance man


Mysterious blue Thai penis water

CommonShore
Jun 6, 2014

A true renaissance man


Mekchu posted:

Thats just red bull

No I actually saw a dude selling it in Bangkok's Chinatown.

CommonShore
Jun 6, 2014

A true renaissance man


I guess this also means that Woodley was released

CommonShore
Jun 6, 2014

A true renaissance man




FAT NIGHT Rozenstruik vs Sakai

This card doesn’t have a lot of name recognition but there are some peanuts in this turd, so shall we dig in? Tastes great.

Main Card ESPN+ (all of this is on ESPN plus actually)

Heavyweight Main Event Jairzinho Rozenstruik vs Augusto Sakai
I’m not sure why out of the 6 heavyweights on this card that these guys are the two who are in the main event. Jairzinho “Bigi Boi” is a high-level kickboxer with some smoking power, and decent strategic patience, but he has also demonstrated some lack of creativity or a plan B. He has had his highs and lows – he murdered the poo poo out of Overeem’s face after losing 4.90 rounds to him. Last time he got embarrassed by Cyril Gane in a UD loss. Sakai hasn’t fought since getting brutally dominated and TKOed by Overeem in September. The MMA math here strongly favours Rozenstruik, and I don’t think that Sakai has shown the footwork, speed, or technical acumen to replicate Gane’s (or even Overeem’s) game plan of outside striking and mobility. It’s honestly not that interesting of a fight.

Heavyweight Walt Harris vs Marcin Tybura
Yeesh give Harris a softball after last year’s marketing campaign. He went 0-2 in 2020 losing to Overeem and Volkov. He’s a big dude who can throw some kicks and stuff. He has shown some moments of promise, but he has also shown that he has bad cardio, even for Heavyweight. Tybura well, has shown good cardio. He’s on the longest winning streak at Heavyweight right now I think (not going to double check that, someone can :actually: me if they want) but his best win in that streak is Ben Rothwell. Tybura is a dreadfully boring heavyweight who has an extremely crushing top game, if he can get there.

Middleweight Roman Dolidze vs Laureando Staropoli
Dolidze is a crazy Georgian who was undefeated as a light heavyweight until he dropped to 85 and lost a close decision to Trevin Giles back in March. His fights have been fun so far. Argentinian Staropoli is a late replacement for Di Chiciro. His only fight in recent memory was a UD loss to Tim Means, where he missed weight – and now he has moved up.

:frogsiren:Welterweight Santiago Ponzinibbio vs Miguel Baeza
Really this should be the main event – it’s not as if there’s significantly less name recognition here anyway. Ponzinibbio was a top welterweight contender until he broke the seal on an ancient cursed tomb and then he got staph, then covid, then blew up some ligaments in whatever order and spent forever on the shelf. He is one of the best boxers in the division, maybe in the whole UFC. In his last fight his long winning streak came to an end when he got KOed by The Leech. This is not an easy rebound fight. Baeza is one of the top prospects out there right now and this is a big jump for him, too. He came in from DWCS and he has gone 3-0 in the UFC so far, including a loving smashing of Matt Brown and a submission of Takashi Sato. He’s a grappler. Don’t miss this.

:siren:Middleweight Dusko Todorovic vs Gregory Rodrigues
Replacing Maki Pitolo, Rodriguez is a Brazilian striker who just won an LFA championship tournament in impressive fashion, KOing two other prospects in upsets en route. He’s a powerful striker and pretty good at setting things up either on lead or counter. Todorovic is a Serbian striker who came in from DWCS but he got KOed in January. His fights have all been fun and violent, too.

Middleweight Tom Breese vs Antonio Arroyo
Cmon maybe this time will be when Breese starts to put it together. Breese is a very good striker but he just can’t get on the right track, running a 5-3 UFC record with alternating wins and losses for the last while. He completely outclassed and KOed KB Bhullar in October, but then in January got ground and clowned by Omari Akhmedov in a submission loss. Arroyo is a DWCS guy who hasn’t picked up a win in the UFC yet. He lost to Deron Winn, so front-runner Breese is probably going to show some good poo poo here.

Prelims
Flyweight Montana de la Rosa vs Ariane Lipski
De la Rosa is a forgettable flyweight fighter who is extremely mediocre. She came in from TUF, and is 4-2-1 in the UFC now. All of her stoppages are by submission. Lipski is a Brazillian who got TKOed by Antonina Shevchenko.

Heavyweight Tanner Boser vs Ilir Latifi
The world’s strongest man Ilir Latifi seems to have settled in at heavyweight. He’s a big strong guy with big punch and Sweden. No shirt; horse. Leather. Boser is a Canadian who looks like he just came in from hosing down the ice. He’s an extremely mobile and fast heavyweight, which makes this interesting, because Latifi was until recently a lumbering light heavyweight. It’s tall fast guy vs short strong man.

:siren:Welterweight Francisco Trinaldo vs Muslim Salikhov
This is 42 year old Trinaldo’s welterwewight debut. Believe it or not he’s 16-6 in the UFC and presently on a 3-fight winning streak. His fighting style is being big and Brazilian. Salikhov (36 yrs old, so this is the oldest fight on the card) is a Dagestani Sanda fighter. He throws spinnin’ poo poo and is actually good at it. This fight is almost guaranteed to be dumb in the best possible ways.

:siren:Featherweight Makwan Amirkhani vs Kamuela Kirk
Mr Finland is back! In October Amirkhani lost a fun decision to Barboza (so his stock has gone up by proxy recently). He’s a high activity low-defense grappler who throws big loving flying knees sometimes. Kirk is a LFA product (and DWCS loser). I must have seen some of his fights since I watch a lot of LFA but I don’t have a clear memory of him I’m sorry. His last win was a “tko retirement” which I kinda remember. He doesn’t have many decisions on his record, so this is probably going to be fun

:siren:Lightweight Alan Patrick vs Mason Jones
Alan Patrick is a weird looking Brazilian striker who has been around the UFC forever and a day but with a low activity rate. He’s on a two fight skid to Bobby Green and Scott Holtzman. Mason Jones is a Cage Warriors champion who came in as an undefeated 26-year old prospect and lost a decision to (surging) Mike Davis in a respectable fight. Could be fun.

:siren:Featherweight Sean Woodson vs Youssef Zalal
Augh Dangit I like both of these guys but they both need a win. Zalal is a Tunisian striker whose UFC career so far has been a series of close, competitive decisions. He’s fun to watch. Sean Woodson is an extremely strange looking and gangly prospect who came in from DWCS and got caught by a late-fight D’Arce choke by Julian Erosa after dominating most of the rest of the fight. This should be a fun fight.

:siren:Lightweight Claudio Puelles vs Jordan Leavitt
Jordan Leavitt is that DWCS prospect who left Matt Wiman in a heap on the floor. He is extremely good and a possible future elite fighter. Don’t miss this. Claudio Puelles is a young Peruvian with a 2-1 UFC record, with no notable names. He hasn’t fought since 2019.

Flyweight Manon Fiorot vs Tabatha Ricci
Fiorot is a French flyweight who won her debut with a sweet standing TKO. She’s a decent striker. Ricci is a late replacement for Maryna Moroz. She’s a 4-0 LFA veteran and again, sorry, I don’t clearly remember her. Her record has a whole assload of wins in something called SEI*ZA but which is recorded as “Custom Rules Bout” – anyone know anything about this?

Snack Rating: a big bowl of ice cream with caramel sauce and pecans – eat it fast! The first few bites are going to be amazing, but the longer it sticks around the more it’s just going to be a bowl of lukewarm fat (that you’ll consume anyway).

CommonShore
Jun 6, 2014

A true renaissance man


LobsterMobster posted:

the only thing i know about Gregory Rodrigues is he goes by Gregory Robocop

I dug into Sei-Za and I'm at a loss. I see that Julija Stoliarenko main evented all 4 cards and there are some pro wrestler names I recognize on the cards

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C9vpHqDKLHY

It is MMA on an open mat with pinfalls? The subtitle seems to be "Girl's Budo Entertainment" which feels weird to type into a search engine.

Wow those sure are some rules. Did you notice that the ref had nothing to say about black grabbing red's gi while striking? And early on something happened that seemed like a point for striking to me.

I think with a little bit of fog added to the mix and maybe some more professional camera work that this could become extremely our thing...

CommonShore
Jun 6, 2014

A true renaissance man


https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3969847

First fight starting right now. Tune in right away for Jordan Leavitt!

CommonShore
Jun 6, 2014

A true renaissance man


Mekchu posted:

Oh it's June isn't it? gently caress...

just get the thread title changed to UFC Long May: Oh it's June Isn't it? gently caress...

CommonShore
Jun 6, 2014

A true renaissance man


LobsterMobster posted:

only make a new thread when we get a new champion, imo

CommonShore
Jun 6, 2014

A true renaissance man


Gon break this down.



Rematches rematches rematches

Main Card (PPV)
Middleweight Championship Israel Adesanya vs Marvin Vettori
I do not remember much of the first fight and I don’t plan to rewatch it, but it’s on the basis that one judge gave the first fight to Vettori that he’s getting his title shot. Really, even if the judge who gave it to Vettori was a nut (Chris Lee, he sucks poo poo at judging), and despite that only two media scores went to Vettori, the first fight was competitive and that’s more than can be said about any of Adesanya’s other opponents before he got to the title picture. Adesanya is an A+ striker with enough wrestling to make it count. His last time out he got beaten up and outworked by light heavyweight champ Jan Blachowicz, Izzy moving up. Vettori is a decent striker (A-boxing maybe?) and has shown decent wrestling too. His last two fights have been against Kevin Holland and Jack Hermansson, and in both of those fights he basically showed that he’s there to fight and that he can outwork his opponent. That gritty toughness is probably Vettori’s top characteristic, and his most likely path to victory is trying to replicate Jan’s game plan: make the champ work, make him wrestle, and concentrate on winning rounds, especially late in the fight.

:frogsiren:Flyweight Championship Deiveson Figueiredo vs Brandon Moreno
Do I need to break this down? Just watch this fight. The first fight was some insane short notice title fight for both men. It was an explosive and amazing barn burner, and the best fight ever at 125 lb in the UFC, ending in a majority draw that immediately demanded a rematch. Go watch it. Deiveson is a dangerous everywhere fighter – powerful strikes and a good guillotine. Moreno is a grappling-based fighter but he has shown good striking as well. Both of these guys are super cool, and who knows how this will look with both of them having a full camp. The x-factor is how Deivison’s psychology will be given that he has had only limited access to his best friend Ferdinand, who he allegedly on the no-fly list and banned from the venue.

Welterweight Leon Edwards vs Nate Diaz
This is a 5-round non-headliner non-title fight. Leon Edwards is the welterweight title-contender in waiting, and he has been for a year. Covid has screwed him over badly resulting in tons of cancelled fights. His last time out he poked Belal Muhammad in the eye so bad that the fight ended and we were worried that Belal might have suffered permanent damage (he didn’t, allegedly). Nate Diaz makes his first appearance since the TKO cuts loss to Masvidal in the BMF belt thing. Do I need to break him down? He’s an antisocial crank with great hands and great jits, but also with glaringly obvious holes in his game. This match seems to exist to give Edwards some name recognition going into a rematch against Usman.

Welterweight Demian Maia vs Belal Muhammad
Maia is one of the greatest grapplers in MMA history, eclipsed in the UFC only by Charles Oliviera. His game plan is typically to work single legs to back takes and RNC them. He has won fights without landing strikes. Muhammad is a rounded fighter who is trying to punch through to the top tier. His last fight was an NC to Leon Edwards (noted above) but before that he was on a 4 fight streak.

Light Heavyweight Paul Craig vs Jamahal Hill
Craig is a Scottish grappler who has been good at pulling some wins out of his rear end over the years. He’s best known for his series with Shogun (that should tell you a lot about Craig’s level) and his 3-4:59 triangle of Ankalaev, who is good. Jamahal Hill is one of the surging and undefeated DWCS products. He knocked OSP silly last time. This is very clearly a gatekeeper fight for Hill.

Prelims ESPN/ESPN+
:siren:Lightweight Drew Dober vs Brad Riddell
Dober is a decent striker but he has a lot of work to do to convince anyone that he’ll ever be a title challenger. Last time out he showed that he is deeply flawed, as Islam Makachev just tossed him around like a toy and choked him out. Dober is good where he’s good, but he needs the right kind of opponent, someone who will be willing to strike with him even though he tends to KO other strikers. Brad Riddell is an Kiwi striker who loves to bang and has been in some fights of the night. What else do you want?

Light Heavyweight Eryk Anders vs Darren Stewart
Is this a rematch too? It is. This was an NC (Illegal knee) on the same one where Leon Edwards removed Wozzname’s cataracts. That fight was at middleweight; this one is at “I don’t feel like cutting” weight. Last time Anders was winning but like a moron KOed Stewart while he was grounded. Anders is a football based guy, and Stewart is a British banger.

Flyweight Lauren Murphy vs Joanne Calderwood
Anything to avoid giving Murphy a title shot. She is now on a 4-fight streak, last time just trouncing some late replacement with big BJJ credentials. Jojo is coming off of a win over Jessica Eye after losing her title shot to Jennifer Maia. Oh Murphy is pretty much a wrestler, whereas Jojo is a clinch-heavy muay thai striker.

:siren:Featherweight Movsar Evloev vs Hakeen Dawodu
This fight owns. Evloev is an undefeated Russian suplex machine. Dawodu is a Canadian striker on a 5 fight streak with some wins against grapplers.

Early Prelims (ESPN+/Fight Pass)
Bantamweight Pannie Kianzad vs Alexis Davis
Kianzad is a Swede who was the runner up on the featherweight TUF season. She has fought in Invicta and stuff too. She punches ok, and is on a streak of mostly forgettable decision wins. Alexis Davis is one of the big veterans of the women’s divisions at this point. She’s a BJJ black belt but she also brawls. She beat Sabina Mazo in February, snapping a 3 fight skid.

Featherweight Chase Hooper vs Steven Peterson
Hooper is mini Askren. He’s a lanky gumbly grapple kid who has scored a head kick KO but got outworked and outclassed by Alex Caceres. His last fight was a heel hook win in December. Peterson is a LFA/DWCS guy who is 2-3 in the UFC, but he scored a back fist KO that I don’t remember seeing back in 2019. Might be a good fight.

Fares Ziam vs Luigi Vendramini
One of my two tapology fights. Oh I remember Ziam. He’s a very young French kickboxer who is reasonably likeable. He won a decision over Jamie Mullarkey which some people disputed. Vendramini is a Brazilian with a 1-1 UFC record: a 2018 loss to Elizu Zaleski and a 71 second KO this past October

:btroll:Carlos Felipe vs Jake Collier
They call Collier Fatboy Fat. He was a tall lanky middleweight who said gently caress it and went up to the heavyweight limit. He brawls and often looks embarrassing. His last fight was a sloppy trash fight win over Gian Villante. Felipe is a Brazilian who weighed like 340 lb at age 14 and now manages to make 265. He is also a loving trashweight. His last fight was a lackluster decision win over Justin Tafa after which he celebrated as if he had won the world cup instead of apologizing to the world for having made us watch it. Trashweights.

:siren:Lighteweight Matt Frevola vs Terrance Mckinney
Mckinney is a late replacement here but he has won some very impressive KOs on LFA. Frevola is a boxing-based striker who I like and who has been in some good fights, especially against Lando Vanatta. I have no idea where on the card this is going to take place, but it’ll be a fireworks fight.

CommonShore
Jun 6, 2014

A true renaissance man


Orange Carlisle posted:

Thanks CommonShore for taking the time to do those breakdowns for cards good or bad

This one looks rad

No problem! I look up every card beforehand, and if you keep reading them, I'll keep sharing them.


And as always if I made a mistake let me know.

CommonShore
Jun 6, 2014

A true renaissance man


Let's turn the SA front page into an MMA blog

CommonShore
Jun 6, 2014

A true renaissance man


To be honest I'd be up for making them more public for others to read, which even in a vaccuum would be more work because then I'd have to edit them and I don't mind doing that. But there are a few factors stopping me

1) I don't want to go to the work of setting anything up or marketing it.

2) I don't want to deal with the open web people. They can read what I write, fine, but I don't want to hear their opinions or talk to them.

3) Without a patreon I'd be making the exact amount of money I'm making from it now.

If some platform said "Hey CS we'll give you $x if you polish up the prose on your breakdowns and post them regularly on our platform on Wednesdays" I'd say yes and continue to do them pseudonymously.

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CommonShore
Jun 6, 2014

A true renaissance man


Mekchu posted:

I shot a pitch to fluffdaddy to at least have any PSP person do a primer for the big fightcards as an article but idk if he has read it yet

Well if that comes to pass, I'd be happy to write a breakdown for the thread for tuesday or wednesday, take feedback, and then send it along to Fluffdaddy. If money ends up getting involved I don't mind buying avs for people who help a lot or smilies for psp

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