Big Beef City posted:

I've never actually gone to a strip club, so imagine that I show up extremely begrudgingly and totally expecting the worst food.
Find it.
And then sit, transfixed while holding a corn dog while staring at 'Jenny' because she looks like a girl I knew from High School, but in that "I didn't have a crush on her, and didn't know her at all, but recognized her in the hall way once in a while" kind of way? But my face has this mixture of "IS that Jenny and vague disgust/fascination" on it. All of which the bouncer sees and mistakes me as some freak-o stroking a corn dog with a mortis grin and tries to throw me out while you guys are just shooting the poo poo. And then I have to try and explain this entire situation to him, which he lets slide, but keeps staring at our entire group for the rest of the time we're there and we get just awful service now because of it and everyone wants to leave early and is now pissed at me for.