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Revins
Nov 2, 2007

the stars are strange and this isn't home


Pets are great! I have a cat, and he is my favorite little dude in the world. Except when he isn't.



I just got home from work an hour ago and in that time I have scooped his box after it was freshly changed yesterday, given him his AM half can of wet food, put fresh dry food and and water out, and have given him plenty of attention and some catnip. and yet he keeps going to sit in the middle of the apt to whine loudly. he is going to wake my roommate up and I wish he would stop I don't know what he wants at this point

we all hate our pets sometimes, post your frustrations with yours itt

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McGavin
Sep 18, 2012

av paid for by the firensd of lowtax spine foundation

, you flithy pig


He wants lasagna, John.

DeadFatDuckFat
Oct 29, 2012

This avatar brought to you by the 'save our dead gay forums' foundation.


He wants to wake your roommate up

DarkSoulsTantrum
Apr 6, 2011

this kills the crab

Sure, they're visually impressive, but a lot of posters find large avatars physically uncomfortable. Furthermore, the owners of large avatars often rely on their size alone and don't bother to develop more refined posting techniques.






Lookit this drat alcoholic! She’s always drinkin my brews!

gimme the GOD DAMN candy
Jul 1, 2007


he wants to yowl in the middle of your apartment. what, is this the first time you've met a cat?

Inexplicable Humblebrag
Sep 20, 2003




he wants to be mercilessly thrashed with a bundled-up rubber hose, op

The Bramble
Mar 16, 2004



My work laptop started chiming that I had a meeting so I rushed over to it only to find I had '''''''''''''jjjjjjkddddddddssssss++ scheduled from 10 to 1030 and it was clearly because my dumbass cat had sat on the keyboard at some point while I had my calendar open. At least she didn't invite anyone else to the meeting.

meat glitter
Nov 12, 2019




my cat is ok as far as cats go but when he finally, peacefully kicks the bucket of old age many years from now i will be able to wear black again and that is an exciting prospect

kntfkr
Feb 11, 2019

GOOSE FUCKER


I hate your pets

Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006

In the cheery brightness of the 41st millennium there is only CHRISTMAS SPIRIT!


My cat keeps eating the dog's food and it gives her intestinal blockage that needs laxatives to dislodge

Look



In this photo she is, in a very literal sense, completely full of poo poo

marshmallow creep
Dec 10, 2008

I've been sitting here for 5 mins trying to think of a joke to make but I just realised the animators of Mass Effect already did it for me



My cat is hormonal right now.

So she pissed in my computer chair.

Cat piss posting from the cat piss chair.

Ventral EggSac
Dec 3, 2019



My dog jizzed into a coffee mug and I drank it in front of my girlfriend

A Wizard of Goatse
Dec 14, 2014




Things this dog has eaten recently:

• two laying hens
• every dog toy in the house
• an incredible quantity of poo poo
• the house's old phone lines
• his own collar
• (attempted) the other dog
• an 18th-century musket
• the chain link fence, apparently?

we've had him for, like, a month

A Wizard of Goatse fucked around with this message at 15:42 on May 7, 2021

HONG KONG SLUMLORD
Apr 21, 2003




Pillbug

Ventral EggSac posted:

My dog jizzed into a coffee mug and I drank it in front of my girlfriend

I thought you were gay lovers with Layman, and you killed him in a fit of passion before hiding the body and never speaking of him again.

Also my one cat has pure urine concentration and is 10,000 years old, so his big sloppy pisses and the other cat’s mega-shits have damaged their self cleaning litter box beyond repair. Cats suck!

Caesar Saladin
Aug 15, 2004



earlier tonight my cat scratched at the door to be let out of my room but when i walked over she doubled back and took my chair

Nooner
Mar 26, 2007

an A+ poster (:

my dog has very recently decided that 3am is when he has to go to the bathroom no matter how late I take him out before going to bed. I am not a fan of that at all

Chief McHeath
Apr 23, 2002



When I get in my computer chair my cat does this stupid thing where she jumps in my lap, where she is welcome, but instead of laying down, goes into like a 2/3 of the way down crouch, purrs super loud and aggressively sniffs my arms. This will continue until I put a hand on her back and push her down.

Just lay down idiot!

e: also she has a strange obsession with chewing the lids of fountain drinks, which has led to many an unattended drink decide to die of suicide by mysteriously jumping to the floor. She just chews on them, doesn't eat them, so every fountain drink lid is a rinse away from being a ten minute toy.

Chief McHeath fucked around with this message at 16:06 on May 7, 2021

Chief McHeath
Apr 23, 2002



The only thing I can think of, Nooner, is that the turtles hate you and are communicating with the dog to ruin your sleep.

Aardvark!
Mar 3, 2002



this guy is a big piece of poo poo



he'll lay beside me in bed happily all night while I'm reading but the second the lights go out he has to go gently caress with every single thing in the room

marshmallow creep
Dec 10, 2008

I've been sitting here for 5 mins trying to think of a joke to make but I just realised the animators of Mass Effect already did it for me



HONG KONG SLUMLORD posted:

I thought you were gay lovers with Layman, and you killed him in a fit of passion before hiding the body and never speaking of him again.

And where did he hide the body?

In a lasagna.

Das Boo
Jun 9, 2011

There was a GHOST here. It's gone now.






Boxer is the sweetest, cuddliest pumpkin head. He sleeps in the (fully outfitted) garage at night and roams the farm during the day.

He isn't allowed in the house because he'll still spray poo poo 10 years after being neutered. He'll also steal bread and once, stole a baked potato.

Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006

In the cheery brightness of the 41st millennium there is only CHRISTMAS SPIRIT!


Give the man his potato!

Das Boo
Jun 9, 2011

There was a GHOST here. It's gone now.




HE HAS IT. HE COULDN'T BE STOPPED.

Johnny-on-the-Spot
Apr 17, 2015

That feeling when he opens
the door for you


I was fooling around with my significant other, and my cat Boo-Boo decided then was the best time to lay a steamy pile on the floor in front of us.

Weka
May 5, 2019

And if you gaze long into an abyss, you will say `look, no ring.`

Hello and happy opposite day. My dog rules and basically does nothing wrong. Occasionally she stands in my way for like a second I guess. She poops in the morning like a civilized person.

VivaLa Eeveelution
Apr 3, 2011





This dingus, pictured here asking me if I can hear the ocean, will only make biscuits on my left side. This is the side where I have some kind of bat-hosed-up mystery neuralgia-type chronic pain, and his weight pushed down into his widdle paws doesn't help. He disemboweled an unopened bag of dry food to raid it because I no longer buy cheese crackers, which he will also raid. Last night he licked my pizza while I was on the toilet.

He can also unlock one of my screen doors and wrapped his paws around the handle a few days ago.

Spinz
Jan 7, 2020



Revins posted:

Pets are great! I have a cat, and he is my favorite little dude in the world. Except when he isn't.



I just got home from work an hour ago and in that time I have scooped his box after it was freshly changed yesterday, given him his AM half can of wet food, put fresh dry food and and water out, and have given him plenty of attention and some catnip. and yet he keeps going to sit in the middle of the apt to whine loudly. he is going to wake my roommate up and I wish he would stop I don't know what he wants at this point

we all hate our pets sometimes, post your frustrations with yours itt
Are you sure it's a boy?

Female cats in heat do this

Dixville
Nov 4, 2008

Your Best Paw Forward

Ham Wrangler

Spinz posted:

Are you sure it's a boy?

Female cats in heat do this

Lol my cat is a boy and he definitely yowls when he wants food. Every day when I come home he screams until i feed him. On my days off he comes and finds me and walks all over me and lightly bites me until I feed him. He used to be fat but now is healthy/on a stricter diet. So he'll live to annoy the crap out of me every day for at least a few more years, if I'm lucky. Actually maybe I should've just left him fat and let him die earlier so he won't annoy me anymore lmao
Here he is sticking his rear end in my face like a jerk

Fuckin cat

Revins
Nov 2, 2007

the stars are strange and this isn't home


I'm tryna get a pic of my cats dick but its not going well

Revins
Nov 2, 2007

the stars are strange and this isn't home


Dixville posted:

Lol my cat is a boy and he definitely yowls when he wants food. Every day when I come home he screams until i feed him. On my days off he comes and finds me and walks all over me and lightly bites me until I feed him. He used to be fat but now is healthy/on a stricter diet. So he'll live to annoy the crap out of me every day for at least a few more years, if I'm lucky. Actually maybe I should've just left him fat and let him die earlier so he won't annoy me anymore lmao
Here he is sticking his rear end in my face like a jerk

Fuckin cat

you love the poo poo out of him tho

Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006

In the cheery brightness of the 41st millennium there is only CHRISTMAS SPIRIT!


Revins posted:

I'm tryna get a pic of my cats dick but its not going well

You, uhhh, you dont gotta do that

Dixville
Nov 4, 2008

Your Best Paw Forward

Ham Wrangler

Good luck buddy cat dicks are elusive as hell. Sometimes vets have to take a close look to tell if it's male or female. They're sneaky little spiny things

Play
Apr 25, 2006

So I roll with a rolling thunder
And I howl with the howling wind
And I drift downstream for as long as it takes
To get up and around the bend

My dog is old (20) so he often shits on the floor. I obviously don't hate him for it, in fact I love him more than anything in the world (don't tell my girlfriend I said that).

This dog is the best dog ever in existence, he's been with me since I was 13 years old and even went to college with me where he was the most popular dog in town (probably the most popular creature, honestly). He's the kind of dog that never needed to be trained, smart enough to pick up what I want from him and do it from that day forward. Super quiet, some friends even named him the Silent Ghost because he basically never made a sound but was always lurking around somewhere.

Sometimes it does annoy me when he is whining for food even though he's gotten plenty. I can never tell if he's actually hungry, just bored, or if he has dementia and doesn't realize that he already ate plenty.

Play fucked around with this message at 21:07 on May 7, 2021

marshmallow creep
Dec 10, 2008

I've been sitting here for 5 mins trying to think of a joke to make but I just realised the animators of Mass Effect already did it for me



My dog no longer shits on the floor. This is because she wakes me up at 2 in the morning so she can do it outside, regardless of when we let her out to poop before bed.

Knot My President!
Jan 10, 2005





My cat refuses to eat food with chunks in it, even the tiny ones. He only likes gravy. I have to mash everything into paste so he'll eat it. Then of course my other cat started following suit and now I have to do it for both.

I bought a loving nutribullet to blend their food. It worked, but come the gently caress on

rear end in a top hat 1:


rear end in a top hat 2:










Dear Watson
Jun 25, 2005




Hell Gem

marshmallow creep posted:

My dog no longer shits on the floor. This is because she wakes me up at 2 in the morning so she can do it outside, regardless of when we let her out to poop before bed.

I joined this club about a week ago. Can’t complain though, the vet made it sound like she’d only live a month or so from her last bloodwork and that was like 6 months ago. Every moment is precious, even 3 am poops and pees

Play
Apr 25, 2006

So I roll with a rolling thunder
And I howl with the howling wind
And I drift downstream for as long as it takes
To get up and around the bend

marshmallow creep posted:

My dog no longer shits on the floor. This is because she wakes me up at 2 in the morning so she can do it outside, regardless of when we let her out to poop before bed.

Bud, between my girlfriend and I many nights we have to get up 5-7 times to let him out. lol. Sometimes it's less but pretty much never below 2. And if we're extra tired and don't wake up quick we're not gonna have a fun time

He shits on the floor mainly while we are at work, even though we come home for lunch for exactly that reason.

Thankfully we have these plastic fake wood floors that a nuclear meltdown couldn't damage

Dixville
Nov 4, 2008

Your Best Paw Forward

Ham Wrangler


He cries every time a tiny dog barks at him on walks. Literally dogs 1/10th of his size. Cries like a wounded puppy. He's an 85 lb german shepherd mix, he's supposed to be this big tough guardian but he's a big ol pussy. poo poo rear end dog

beer gas canister
Oct 30, 2007

W E L C O M E T O M Y C U S T O M T I T L E ! ! !


Plaster Town Cop



thank you yes, he is incredibly beautiful and photogenic. No you cannot ever pet him or he might get scared and try to bite your hand while he runs away. Also he will constantly stare at you and get in your face if he wants to play, and prevent you from standing or sitting next to me because he thinks I'm simultaneously his caretaker and a sheep. He also steals things occasionally if he wants to get my attention

beer gas canister fucked around with this message at 04:48 on May 8, 2021

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Nuts and Gum
Mar 15, 2010

Age 18 to 49

DeadFatDuckFat posted:

He wants to wake your roommate up

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