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EA Sports
Feb 10, 2007

by Azathoth
So with the recent news about the kentucky derby winning horse testing positive for roids, i got to thinking. it's not like horses wear underwear, right? what's to stop a curious gentlemen such as myself from simply scouting out the competitors testicles before a race? 500 on small eggs please!

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Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.
How about you put in an honest days WORK op and grow your own testicles?

STABASS
Apr 18, 2009

Fun Shoe
I don't wear underwear either, would you like to look at my testicles op?

Bronze Fonz
Feb 14, 2019




Woah are you the real EA Sports®?

Ventral EggSac
Dec 3, 2019

What prevents me jacking off all of the males and selling the stud cum?

Molentik
Apr 30, 2013

Ventral EggSac posted:

What prevents me jacking off all of the males and selling the stud cum?

The Big Horse Cum industry of course.

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost
If you buy up all the cobalt in the system and fly to the next system, dump all your cobalt and buy it back (plus whatever cobalt was on sale in the system already), you make a small profit after each sale. Aggregated over time each cobalt run will net you millions of credits.

Universe Master
Jun 20, 2005

Darn Fine Pie

Ventral EggSac posted:

What prevents me jacking off all of the males and selling the stud cum?

Racing horse owners insist on natural insemination. They will fly horses around the world for it.

Zeluth
May 12, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
Anything that helps soaks up my leaks.

Full Metal Jackass
Jan 22, 2001

Rabid bats are welcome in my home
If anyone knows how to make money off dumbasses it's EA Sports.

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015
Probation
Can't post for 10 years!
So you’ve been sucking hitlers corpses dick and talking about his balls on the internet.. :shepspends:

Linux Pirate
Apr 21, 2012


What level rung is Horse ball inspector considered at the dick sucking factory?

Mooey Cow
Jan 27, 2018

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Pillbug
OP you may as well just keep working at the dick sucking factory. Sure it won't make you rich but it's a steady job and an honest day's work and it won't make you sick (unless you count aids, herpes or gonorrhea as sicknesses).

BAGS FLY AT NOON
Apr 6, 2011

Time was you could make a lot of money at the dick sucking factory because they paid out a bonus for any piece work over rate. Once CockCo bought em out though they got rid of the bonus and now you just get your hourly rate and a summer cookout.

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015
Probation
Can't post for 10 years!

DarkSoulsTantrum posted:

Time was you could make a lot of money at the dick sucking factory because they paid out a bonus for any piece work over rate. Once CockCo bought em out though they got rid of the bonus and now you just get your hourly rate and a summer cookout.

I don’t trust big cock. :colbert:

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon
I only trust small local independent cock :hai:

Hell Yeah
Dec 25, 2012

try making money off of weed :whatup:

wesleywillis
Dec 30, 2016

SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!
I figured out a good way to make money too OP.

I just go to the mall where there is a bathroom. Inside one stall there is a hole that looks in to the other stall. I go in there, and pretend to take a poo poo. THen someone will go in to the stall on the other side of the hole. They gently knock on the wall and pass some money through.
I take it and leave.

Can you imagine that?

I get paid to pretend to take a poo poo!!

Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD
This is one of those things I'm almost positive already happens. I'd go as far as to say that the urine, blood, and faeces of race horses is regularly stolen.

aaaand of course that was the correct thing to assume.

https://apnews.com/e763983f1b2444cdb2db4870deb22f76

Nooner
Mar 26, 2011

AN A+ OPSTER (:
if ur a lady you can post puictures of ur butthole or also vaginea hole online and people will pay you money and also boobz or even ur feet lol

The Bloop
Jul 5, 2004

by Fluffdaddy

Nooner posted:

if ur a lady you can post puictures of ur butthole or also vaginea hole online and people will pay you money and also boobz or even ur feet lol

And if you have FEET HOLES they will pay even more

Sophy Wackles
Dec 17, 2000

> access main security grid
access: PERMISSION DENIED.





Horse piss with steroids has a very distinct taste OP.

mysterious frankie
Jan 11, 2009

This displeases Dev- ..van. Shut up.
I walk off trail through forests hoping to find the scene of a drug deal gone wrong where everyone shot each other, so I can take the bowling bag full of money. It's sort of like studying the Torah, where your wife has to put up with it and take care of you, because it's very important.

wesleywillis
Dec 30, 2016

SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!

Pawn 17 posted:

Horse piss with steroids has a very distinct taste OP.

Much more refreshing if you ask me.

Zil
Jun 4, 2011

Satanically Summoned Citrus


The Bloop posted:

And if you have FEET HOLES they will pay even more

OnlyStigmata

Katamari Democracy
Jan 19, 2010

Guess what! :love:
Guess what this is? :love:
A Post, Just for you! :love:
Wedge Regret
People pay me to keep my clothes on

funeral home DJ
Apr 21, 2003


Pillbug
What if the horse is a gelding though?

Mozi
Apr 4, 2004

Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die
Nap Ghost

AmbassadorofSodomy posted:

Much more refreshing if you ask me.

if you haven't tried it in your sodastream, you're missing out

Bad Purchase
Jun 17, 2019




why does storing less pee mean the horse will be faster on race day? besides, i bet they make all the horses pee right before the race, fully emptying their balls.

Weka
May 5, 2019

That child totally had it coming. Nobody should be able to be out at dusk except cars.
A big saggy ballbag that can hold a lot of pee might trip up the horse, plus there's wind resistance.

E: I read the story about horse blood theft and it seems obvious the racing commission is fixing the races.

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015
Probation
Can't post for 10 years!

Nooner posted:

if ur a lady you can post puictures of ur butthole or also vaginea hole online and people will pay you money and also boobz or even ur feet lol

Prove it. :crossarms:

SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001

Hey Hey Let's Go! 喧嘩する
大切な物を protect my balls


ClamdestineBoyster posted:

I don’t trust big cock. :colbert:

No, you thrust it. right into your rear end in a top hat.

SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001

Hey Hey Let's Go! 喧嘩する
大切な物を protect my balls


I've got a cool way to make money OP. Get a bunch of $1 bills, bleach them, then print $100 bills on the paper. Get rich quick.

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015
Probation
Can't post for 10 years!

SLICK GOKU BABY posted:

No, you thrust it. right into your rear end in a top hat.

Rapey. :shuckyes:

EA Sports
Feb 10, 2007

by Azathoth

AmbassadorofSodomy posted:

I figured out a good way to make money too OP.

I just go to the mall where there is a bathroom. Inside one stall there is a hole that looks in to the other stall. I go in there, and pretend to take a poo poo. THen someone will go in to the stall on the other side of the hole. They gently knock on the wall and pass some money through.
I take it and leave.

Can you imagine that?

I get paid to pretend to take a poo poo!!

Dude I believe they paid you for oral sex, and are surely miffed about being denied their service rendered. to keep you from getting sued ill suck their dicks for you but i was atleast 50%. namaste

Dang It Bhabhi!
May 27, 2004



ASK ME ABOUT
BEING
ESCULA GRIND'S
#1 SIMP

I make money suckin' dick. Pay isn't that great but it's reliable. Very reliable.

Very. Reliable.

wesleywillis
Dec 30, 2016

SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!

EA Sports posted:

Dude I believe they paid you for oral sex, and are surely miffed about being denied their service rendered. to keep you from getting sued ill suck their dicks for you but i was atleast 50%. namaste

The most I'll give you is 40% and a hand job.

BigBadSteve
Apr 29, 2009

Seĺl your dirty panties online. Get them nice and smelly first by wearing them a couple of days without washing your man "lady" parts.

Pro-tip: State "NOT dirty panties" on your eBay ad to avoid it being "pulled".

BigBadSteve fucked around with this message at 07:15 on May 12, 2021

Knot My President!
Jan 10, 2005

i made an onlyfeet

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Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon
BJ factory is always hiring bucko

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