4chan Disability Sensitivity Training: Let's Play Katawa Shoujo!

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Tulip: Jun 3, 2008; yeah thats pretty good

I think that vanilla has a lot to offer as a flavor profile, rather complex and fascinating flavor, but I think I didn't really appreciate it until I started baking and learned that vanilla is the garlic of baking - the ingredient where you see the recipe and laugh, doubling or tripling the called for quantity in a reckless pursuit of flavor.

# ? Jan 19, 2022 23:19

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 15:17

Funktor: May 17, 2009; Burnin' down the disco floor...
Fear the wrath of the mighty FUNKTOR!

Falconier111 posted:

I am a Chicagoan, sir. I am simply a gourmand of the highest order, as local custom dictates.

I spent a decade in Evanston myself and miss it every day. I salute your Chicagoness and bemoan the fact that I can't get a proper chardog on the east coast. When I find myself in the area I try to pop into Herm's Palace on Dempster - and they definitely have the tomato slices there.

# ? Jan 20, 2022 16:06

Falconier111: Jul 18, 2012; S T A R M E T A L C A S T E

Update 111: A Brief History of Thyme (Act 2, Scene 6)

Katawa Shoujo OST ~ Passing of Time

(Silence)

MISHA: "Hicchan~."

HISAO: "Go away."

MISHA: "Hicchan~."

HISAO: "Leave me alone."

MISHA: "Come on, Hicchan~."

HISAO: "Hmph, let me sleep."

After two nights of not being able to sleep at all, the last thing I want is to be woken when I finally manage to. It may be the last period of class, with a textbook as my pillow, but I'll take whatever sleep I can get by this point.

MISHA: "See Hicchan, even Shicchan wants you to get up~!"

I don't care what Shizune wants, leave me alone.

MISHA: "Geez, Hicchan, I'll just have to wake..."

Wait, Misha's going to...?

MISHA: "...you..."

This is bad!

Katawa Shoujo OST - Hokabi

HISAO: "I'M UP!, I'M UP! YOU DON'T... have to..."

I can feel my face flowering into a scarlet red blush. The students still in class are sitting bolt upright and staring at the shouting fool who was sleeping just moments before.

HISAO: "...Dammit."

I let my head smack back down on the table with a noticeable thud.

MISHA: "Wahahahahaha~!"

Misha's trademark uncontrolled laughter reverberates through the classroom. As I turn my mournful eyes to the bespectacled Shizune beside her, she carefully adjusts her glasses, desperately trying to maintain a look of serious disapproval. Narrowing my eyes, I can see the badly-hidden grin spreading across her face.

HISAO: "Et tu, Shizune?"

Shizune looks away quickly as she crosses her arms tightly, barely on the edge of her control.

MISHA: "Wahahahahahaha~!"

Misha's laughter doubles in volume as she glances at Shizune. All I can do is drag my hand down my face in resignation.

HISAO: "You two..."

MISHA: "Who was the one who slept in class, Hicchan~?"

HISAO: "Yeah, yeah, it was me."

MISHA: "Poor Shicchan was having a fit trying to wake you up. Weren't you?"

I move my eyes back to the standoffish Shizune, who with a single huff of confirmation returns to looking away with her arms crossed.

HISAO: "Why was Shizune trying to wake me up?"

MISHA: "Shicchan wanted to give you the handouts the substitute teacher gave out while Hicchan was sleeping."

HISAO: "Handouts?"

I suddenly find two sheets of paper thrust down in front of my face.

Following the hand holding them, I see the still-pouting figure looking down at me with a distinct scowl. I guess I really am in the wrong here.

HISAO: "...Ah. Um, sorry about that."

No dice. Her irritated face still holds. I clasp my hands together and flick my head downwards in apology.

HISAO: "Very, very sorry."

(Silence)

She huffs and simply drops the papers on the desk.

HISAO: "drat."

I look up over my hands to see Shizune and Misha signing frantically to each other, a look of frustration on Shizune's face.

SHIZUNE: "...!"

It looks to be less of a dialogue and more of a tirade, punctuated with sidelong glances at me. To say it's unsettling is an understatement.

HISAO: "Um..."

The two suddenly stop signing and look at me in unison, both having exactly the same look of disapproval. In one fluid motion, Misha's hand suddenly extends high above me and comes rocketing down.

Katawa Shoujo OST - Hokabi

Before I can even hope to react, my head is sent bouncing up and down like a jack-in-the-box. I quickly bring my hands to my head, more out of reflex than actual pain.

HISAO: "Ow! What was that for!?"

I open my eyes to see the two grinning at each other while exchanging an enthusiastic thumbs-up.

MISHA: "Shicchan says she forgives you now, Hicchan~!"

HISAO: "Could you forgive me with a little less force next time?"

MISHA: "Wahahahaha~!"

I look at the two with a blank face. Misha and Shizune: one, Hisao: nil.

SHIZUNE: "..."

MISHA: "Oh, Shicchan also says that you should check your student mail more often~!"

She produces a bright yellow envelope and hands it over with an exuberant grin. Strange. Who could have written me a letter? Now is not the time and most definitely not the place to find out, though. Giving up on the nap so cruelly stolen from me, I rub my forehead and slowly get up, putting the sheets and envelope in my bag before swinging it over my shoulder. I take a step back and move to depart with a small bow, while Misha clutches her sides laughing and Shizune nods back in a curt farewell.

(Silence, Crowd Sounds)

I join the flow of students exiting the open door, and turn the corner into the hallway.

...only to end up face to face with Hanako.

HISAO: "Woah. Uh, hey Hanako."

HANAKO: "Good afternoon... Hisao."

Silence falls between us as busily chatting students pass us by. She's fidgeting constantly, her eyes drawn to her rather unremarkable footwear. I take the bridge of my nose in my fingers while I blink my eyes heavily in an attempt to make things seem clearer. I'm barely staying awake as it is.

HISAO: "Hanako, you want to say something. What is it?"

HANAKO: "U-um... I wanted to... give you this..."

HISAO: "Hmm?"

She holds out a small rectangular piece of paper. I blink again to make out the text through barely open eyes, slowly starting to make out what's written.

List posted:

Eggs x2
Bread loaf x1
Whole-grain cereal x1
Thyme x1

HISAO: "...A shopping list?�

Katawa Shoujo OST - Fripperies (Crowd Sounds Continue)

I look upwards, raising an eyebrow.

HANAKO: "I usually go shopping with Lilly but I can't come, so..."

HISAO: "You want me to run errands for you?"

HANAKO: "I-it's okay if you don't want to! I just thought that, maybe, um..."

She's panicking. I sigh. Yet another battle lost, though this time by a weakly-fought surrender. I smile tiredly and rest a hand on her head to calm her down.

HISAO: "It's fine, I was going to go anyway. Just the stuff on this list?"

She nods then bows deeply, twice, as if to make her gratitude perfectly clear.

HANAKO: "W-we were going to meet outside the school gates at six... thank you, I was going to get it, but I need to study for the test tomorrow."

HISAO: "Test? Ah, that's right, science. How're you doing with it?"

She brightens ever so slightly.

HANAKO: "I've been... spending more time on it than before. I think I can do... okay."

HISAO: "Good work, then."

She too starts smiling, and much more earnestly than I at that. I have full confidence that I can do fine in it without any extra studying, but the fact that she's putting in the effort instead of just reading in the library is heartening.

HISAO: "I'll grab your stuff and take it to your dorm in the evening. Seeya."

(Silence, Crowd Sounds Continue)

With a small wave, we part ways. I'll go do my homework before meeting Lilly. I should be able to take care of it in time.

Katawa Shoujo OST - Air Guitar

Wrangling with a particularly complicated math problem has caused me to be a little bit late for my meeting with Lilly. Only a couple of minutes, but enough to make me step smartly out into the courtyard and to the school gate. I make a right turn and start my way towards the small town below, leaving a few students turning the other way to the bus station. I slip my right hand into my pocket as I walk in the orange sunlight of dusk. Thankfully the sweltering summer heat's started to die down, making way for a pleasant cool breeze.

When I stretch my hands high above my head, a familiar figure takes form, cane in her right hand.

HISAO: "Ah, Lilly."

She stops and turns around, swiveling her head slightly to try and work out exactly where the voice came from.

HISAO: "Hey. It's me."

I quickly catch up to her, coming in beside her and matching her slow pace as we resume walking.

LILLY: "Good afternoon, Hisao."

HISAO: "Hi there."

I glance up at the sky. A distinct tinge of orange discolors the clouds, washing the footpath in its light. Long shadows from the trees fall across the wide road down the hill.

LILLY: "So, Hisao, what brings you here?"

HISAO: "Just going to town to grab some groceries. Hanako sent me."

LILLY: "Hanako sent you?"

HISAO: "Yeah, said she needed to study for a test tomorrow. I was going to come down anyway, so I'll just buy her stuff as well."

Unspoken is that Lilly really could use some help to get food, but it's an obvious fact that neither of us needs to state.

LILLY: "It's good to hear she's studying for it."

HISAO: "I thought the same thing when she asked me to come with you."

"We continue walking down the street, the familiar sound of her cane echoing through the air as we go. Except for the occasional passing car and the leaves whispering in the branches, there's a blissful silence. Thank God I can finally relax for the first time today.

I glance over at Lilly. That porcelain face of hers never seems to lack that air of relaxed confidence. I guess the same could be said of her personality, too. As she silently walks, her face remaining pointed to the street ahead of her, I look ahead and savor the cool air blowing over my face. This is probably the calmest moment I've had since the about-face my life took so recently. To have it while walking to get some groceries. What a weird life. I feel the crumpled-up note rubbing against my hand in my pocket, and pull it out to check its contents.

HISAO: "Let's see here... eggs, bread, cereal, thyme, lettuce, shaved ham..."

LILLY: "That sounds like quite a bit to carry back along with your own."

HISAO: "Yeah. Just how much does this girl eat anyway?"

My mind suddenly clicks that yes, there actually is a person beside me."

HISAO: "W-wait, I mean..."

She laughs wholeheartedly.

LILLY: "My my, Hisao."

Her giggles punctuate her words, though she's making little effort to suppress them.

LILLY: "Quite direct today, aren't we?"

HISAO: "Yeah, you got me there. Still, it is quite a bit."

LILLY: "Usually I go shopping with Hanako, so I know what she buys. It's the same thing every week."

HISAO: "Huh. She a good cook?"

She gives a nervous giggle.

LILLY: "It's usually me who ends up cooking. I used to do so for Akira, so it's no problem doing it for Hanako as well."

HISAO: "You can cook? But..."

A short hum with an amused lilt emanates from beside me. I wonder if the fact that she seems amused by my comments so often is actually genuine, or rather just from a want to make me more comfortable in addressing her blindness?

LILLY: "There are ways around it. Some meals are more difficult to cook than others because of being unable to see what I'm doing, but it usually only takes a little more time. Fingers can double as very useful measurement tools, for example."

It makes sense, but she'd have to be pretty careful not to hurt herself. I wonder how many times that's happened, given that it sounds like she's cooked alone for possibly years while Akira worked and her parents were gone. With that, the conversation trails off. Compared to the awkward silences of Hanako, Lilly seems genuinely content to say what she thinks and stay quiet when there's nothing to say.

The slick road under my feet is bathed in an orange glow, the occasional fallen leaf crunching underfoot as we walk. I let out a deep yawn, my lack of sleep coming back to haunt me.

LILLY: "Did you not get much sleep last night?"

HISAO: "I couldn't sleep at all for the last two nights. Probably insomnia."

(Sudden Silence)

Lilly's face suddenly becomes worried. It feels like a personal failure every time she gets worried about my well-being, even if it's genuinely nice to know someone cares.

LILLY: "You have insomnia? Aren't you going to see the nurse about it?"

HISAO: "Nah, no real need. It's happened before a few times. My meds screw with my sleeping occasionally."

LILLY: "...Ah. I'm... sorry."

HISAO: "Come on, it's not your fault. At least I shouldn't have any trouble getting to sleep tonight."

LILLY: "You do worry me sometimes."

HISAO: "I... worry you?"

I reach around and scratch the back of my neck. I kind of want to address this.

HISAO: "Hey, Lilly..."

LILLY: "Hmm?"

HISAO: "I don't mean to sound weird, but... please try to forget about my heart condition."

She looks kind of lost. I hardly blame her.

HISAO: "I guess what I'm trying to get at is... just don't treat me differently because of it."

She bows her head slightly, her white cheeks reddening almost imperceptibly.

LILLY: "It's only natural to worry about those around you..."

HISAO: "Well, it's still nice to know there's someone like that out there."

It may be somewhat embarrassing to say, but it's the truth. Lilly takes a breath to regain her composure and manages a gentle smile, though her cheeks remain flushed. The final downhill walk to the store passes in silence.

Katawa Shoujo OST - Daylight

STOREWOMAN: "Welcome!"

HISAO: "I suppose I'll get my stuff first and Hanako's on the second round."

I grab two well-worn red baskets from the stack beside the entrance and pass one to Lilly. Just as she did before, she lays it on the ground and slides her retracted cane between the basket's handles before picking it back up with her right hand. When she takes hold of my arm in her own, I'm surprised at just how fast this kind of casual contact became so natural. Mostly due to necessity, no doubt.

LILLY: "Shall we?"

HISAO: "Sure."

While we navigate around the store, the odd person occasionally passing us pays us no heed at all. It's nice, compared to the stares and whispers around the city. As we reach each aisle, I quickly check with Lilly what she needs and grab it along with what I want, putting our items into their respective baskets. It's an odd feeling, to be depended on so much for something so basic as shopping. Hanako would be practically a necessity for her to pick out what she wants, after all.

HISAO: "Right, I'm pretty much done with both my stuff and Hanako's. You needing anything else, Lilly?"

LILLY: "No, this should be everything."

HISAO: "Off we go, then."

Oddly, there's a queue a mile long. Considering the store's only large enough to warrant one counter, seems like it'll take a while.

HISAO: "drat."

Lilly gives an inquisitive look, unable to see the reason for my complaint.

HISAO: "The queue's really long. Looks like we'll have to wait."

LILLY: "How strange."

Sharing the same mood of resignation, we reluctantly take our place at the end of the line. One person finishes, the line moves up. Another person finishes, the line moves up. By the time we finally reach the head of the line, I'm so close to dozing off that Lilly has to gently pat me on the back for me to move up.

LILLY: "Hisao... Hisao!"

HISAO: "Hmm? Ah, sorry."

She gives a short sigh of consternation as I move up, getting the groceries for Hanako and I put into separate bags.

STOREWOMAN: "Thank you, please come again!"

(Silence)

By the time we emerge from the store, Lilly's holding a single bag while I struggle to carry four, both hands well and truly full. It's a lot of work, but thankfully the items in them are light. Even without looking skyward it's obvious that a surprising amount of time's passed, the road outside being dark and lit by streetlamps. Once Lilly retrieves her cane, we set out back to the dormitories the way we came, leaving the welcoming warm glow of the store.

Katawa Shoujo OST - Raindrops and Puddles

Despite the road being empty of cars, the full bags abundantly make up for the lack of noise, constantly clunking and squeaking together.

LILLY: "My my, Hisao, it's good to find that you're eating well."

HISAO: "I'm a growing guy after all, I need to eat all I can!"

LILLY: "Hmm... it must be nice, being a man."

HISAO: "W-what?"

Seemingly not noticing, or ignoring, my surprise at the completely out-of-left-field comment, she continues on without missing a beat.

LILLY: "Weight doesn't really bother you when eating, most of the time."

HISAO: "I get what you mean. Women tend to worry about stuff like that more than we do, I guess."

LILLY: "Exactly. It makes me somewhat envious, to be honest."

HISAO: "Well, it's not like we can outright ignore it."

With an affirmative nod, we continue on our walk.

HISAO: "Huh, that's right."

LILLY: "What is it?"

HISAO: "Hanako mentioned your birthday was earlier this year. Do anything special for it?"

She gives a long pause, lost in thought for a few seconds as she recalls the event.

LILLY: "Not really. It was just Hanako and I having a little party during the night after school."

HISAO: "Your birthday's supposed to be a big event, you know."

Sounds like a pretty lonely way to spend a birthday, just she and Hanako staying overnight. Birthdays always felt like a family occasion for me. They were a time when, in spite of their full-time jobs, both my parents would make an effort to be there for the day or at least for a party beforehand. It reminds me of how Lilly mentioned she hadn't seen her family in such a long time, and even ended up moving away from Akira's house afterwards. But I guess it's the same in situations as mundane as these. Considering her inability to read the packaging, just getting groceries would be a pain without somebody else around. In the end, she just has Hanako and I, and Akira when she's off from work. Be that as it may, she still seems to have many more distant friends among the students, not to mention people like Yuuko. It seems to be her own choice that there's such a separation between those who are close to her, and those who she only socializes with. It humbles me a little to see how much Lilly seems to have her life set up and going just as she wants. Yet Hanako is there for her to celebrate her birthday, and I'm here helping her with shopping.

It's a weird kind of symbiosis, I suppose.

LILLY: "Are you all right, Hisao?"

HISAO: "Sorry?"

LILLY: "You just seemed to go very quiet, that's all."

HISAO: "Ah, sorry. I was just thinking."

LILLY: "Oh?"

Ah, now I've piqued her curiosity. It feels kind of overly personal to talk about though...

>Avoid the subject.
>Tell the truth.

:eng101:

While last route was the most complicated in the game, this one is structurally the simplest, even more of a straight shot then Shizune�s. That doesn�t mean it�s simple to get through. Lilly�s route has more choices than any other in the game, each a simple binary that alters the next few hundred words before merging you back onto the main trunk. Thing is, some of these choices have options that trip flags, and you have to trip EVERY available flag to get the Good Ending � no Emi or Rin-style Hail Marys, no chance to gather information before making your decision at the end like with Shizune or Hanako, you have to get everything important right on the first try. They call it the hardest route in the game for a reason.

So with that in mind, let�s think about this. We have two options here. First, we can keep whatever�s troubling us to ourselves � well within our rights to do so. But opening up to Lilly in the same place at the same rough time of day was what got us on this route in the first place. Lilly�s proven herself nothing but compassionate, supportive, and trustworthy, and while we know from a prior route she isn�t always discreet or on the ball with her assumptions, we haven�t seen that here. We also know she�s pretty blatantly interested in us AND the closer she gets the more she tells us about herself and her past, comfortable or not. She�s offering us honesty and directness, even if it�s uncomfortable for her. So why shouldn�t we return the favor? :eng101:

>Tell the truth.

HISAO: "It was just kind of... I was thinking about how you seem to have everything so sorted out, even with Hanako relying on you. I can admit that even I kind of relied on you when I first transferred in. I think it's a good quality to have."

(Sudden Silence)

I turn to Lilly, surveying her reaction. She's forcing herself to look forward and furrowing her brow quite a bit. Her face looks a bit awkward, as if she was trying to find just the right words.

HISAO: "...Lilly?"

LILLY: "I would thank you, but... assuming that I don't rely on the presence of others is too much. You'd be wrong to think that Hanako simply depends on me with nothing in return."

She seems to have a bit of trouble saying it, even though it's largely what I'd thought already. If she's tried so hard to maintain her independence, as anyone would have had to in her position, sighted or not, maybe she finds it hard to talk about her own needs. It's only now that I realize an omission in what she says, though. I decide to follow it up, largely in jest, to avoid things getting too personal.

HISAO: "Oh? And what about me?"

Katawa Shoujo OST - Concord (Lilly�s Theme)

She suddenly runs ahead of me and turns, blocking me off.

With a smile, she holds her hands behind her as she leans forwards.

LILLY: "You're different."

And with that, she turns back and continues to walk ahead of me, a newfound spring in her step. All I can do is raise an eyebrow and give a dazed grin. I don't think I've ever seen this playful and teasing side of her before. So... I'm �different�. It's hard to work out the exact context, but knowing her, this ambiguity was intended. Our relationship has been changing, at the very least simply because I've begun to stand on my own feet more and started getting more curious about the situation of those around me. As to why... probably a mix of personal curiosity, and a want to try and work out how to deal with my situation. I'm less sure of Lilly, though. That's why her own statement, so similar to my own feelings towards her, throws me off so much. Watching her make her way up the street, cane tapping from left to right, I decide to settle the matter later, and just smile. This is a nice side to her, and I don't want to forget it.

Katawa Shoujo OST - School Days

Eventually we get to the girl's dormitories, both my arms aching from the weight of two sets of groceries.

HISAO: "Hah... we're finally here. Phew."

I bend down to wipe my forehead with the back of my hand. Lilly stops in front of her door and sets down her bag, fishing around in her pocket for the key.

LILLY: "Thank you, Hisao. I really appreciate your help."

HISAO: "Ah, this is nothing."

LILLY: "It might be nothing to you, but it's... definitely something for me."

And with that, she steps through her door, closing it behind her. I blink. Those were nothing but honest thanks, but I can't help feeling something different about them. Anyway, I have something else to do before I can mull on that at my leisure.

I turn back to the door to Hanako's room and proceed to knock twice in quick succession, the bags still in my hand rustling together.

After a couple of seconds, the door slowly opens. If one weren't looking closely, they could be forgiven for thinking it hadn't moved at all. I twist my head to the side to try and peer through the tiny sliver of a gap between the door and the doorframe.

HISAO: "Hey Hanako, I've got your stuff."

HANAKO: "Ah!"

With that, she opens the door completely, making her plain room visible over her shoulder. Sparsely decorated, it's probably even more unremarkable than my room. I hold out my right arm, both bags almost pulling it straight back down with their weight.

HANAKO: "Th-thank you, Hisao. I'm sorry to make you... carry them all this way."

HISAO: "It's fine, don't worry. Just don't make me do it every day, okay?"

I pass the bags to her as I give a lighthearted chuckle. After the initial transfer of weight she manages to take them easily.

HISAO: "I'll be off then. 'Night, Hanako."

HANAKO: "Good night. Um, s-see you in class... tomorrow..."

With a deep bow, her groceries still held in both hands, she steps back and shuts the door.

(Silence)

Making my way back to my own dorm, I put one bag into my other hand to balance them out. Even as I do so, I can't get Lilly's lighthearted smile out of my mind. When I'd first met her, it would have been nearly impossible to imagine her like that. Indeed, it feels like we've become closer in the past few weeks since I first got to know both she and Hanako. The time that I spend with her each day. The small exchanges of happiness we share. Those small moments of joy as I get closer to her. I'm far from certain, but I don't think these are just the normal feelings of friendship.

Once I return to my room, I store away my groceries and begin getting ready for the night. I swap the school books in my bag for those I'll need tomorrow, pulling out the yellow envelope Misha gave me earlier in the process.

I got so sidetracked by one thing after another that I couldn't deal with it earlier. Who could have written me, I wonder? The name neatly adorning the back of the envelope freezes me in my tracks. It's been so long since I've seen her writing, there's little chance I could have identified it as hers otherwise.

�Iwanako.�

Why... should she have written me? I can't think of any good reason for her to do this. I almost don't open the letter, but there'd be little point to that. If I just left it alone, its mere existence would gnaw at me until I did something about it.

Katawa Shoujo OST - Caged Heart

I look down at the piece of paper on my desk, its bright and summery decoration beaming happily at me. The lettering is in pink, jarring badly with the yellow sunflower border or the card. The handwriting is neat, the characters having been written thoughtfully and with an unusual amount of care. I'd barely given the letter a second thought when it was given to me, but now I can't get its contents out of my mind.

While I'd like to say that I don't know why she used such an old-fashioned method of communication, considering a phone call or an email would be both much faster and easier, the answer feels obvious enough given the content. A letter leaves a comfortable distance between the sender and the recipient. Unlike a phone, it isn't required that you engage in conversation, and unlike email, there is less expectation of an immediate reply. Statements such as �the third-years seem to be very anxious about the final exams,� and �it's so weird to think we are already seniors, isn't it?� are just smalltalk. Smalltalk that could have been achieved by simply replying to any of the messages I'd sent her while in hospital.

The ending, though, is the true reason she sent this. The last couple of lines, added almost as an afterthought. �I wonder if we will meet again. Perhaps it's for the best if we don't?� It's a statement that should hurt. I've always heard breakups are nasty stuff, but it feels like this is simply a reaffirmation of what we both already knew instead. It's the preceding text, no more than smalltalk, that makes me feel most uneasy. I can't figure out why, no matter how long I sit here and look down at this bright and summery piece of paper. �If you would like to correspond with me, by all means write me back.� It's plainly obvious that this is not the type of letter to be replied to. In the end, this letter is no more than a simple abdication of responsibility; a final statement to reassure herself that our relationship is over.

(Silence)

As such, I find I have little problem in scrunching the letter and envelope into a ball and tossing it into the wastebin, ridding myself of its existence. I go to bed with mixed feelings, cheated out of a pleasant evening by this intruder from the past.

Ironically, it takes a while before I can manage to sleep.

# ? Jan 21, 2022 18:42

Dirk the Average: Feb 7, 2012; "This may have been a mistake."

Falconier111 posted:

HANAKO: "I usually go shopping with Lilly but I can't come, so..."

Is this transcribed correctly? It's a very odd sentence.

Overall I'm liking this story quite a bit. It's interesting that it's considered to be one of the more difficult routes, but I guess it's kind of a similar dynamic to Hanako's route, where Lilly has to think of Hisao as a partner rather than as someone to care for.

# ? Jan 21, 2022 19:22

Cobalt-60: Oct 11, 2016; by Azathoth

Falconier111 posted:

LILLY: "I would thank you, but... assuming that I don't rely on the presence of others is too much. You'd be wrong to think that Hanako simply depends on me with nothing in return."

She seems to have a bit of trouble saying it, even though it's largely what I'd thought already. If she's tried so hard to maintain her independence, as anyone would have had to in her position, sighted or not, maybe she finds it hard to talk about her own needs. It's only now that I realize an omission in what she says, though. I decide to follow it up, largely in jest, to avoid things getting too personal.

HISAO: "Oh? And what about me?"

Katawa Shoujo OST - Concord (Lilly�s Theme)

She suddenly runs ahead of me and turns, blocking me off.

With a smile, she holds her hands behind her as she leans forwards.

LILLY: "You're different."

Ah, now I remember when i first fell in love with Lilly.

I feel like Hisao dodged a bullet there, but I'm not certain exactly what...

# ? Jan 22, 2022 00:03

Antistar01: Oct 20, 2013

Falconier111 posted:

[i]While last route was the most complicated in the game, this one is structurally the simplest, even more of a straight shot then Shizune�s. That doesn�t mean it�s simple to get through. Lilly�s route has more choices than any other in the game, each a simple binary that alters the next few hundred words before merging you back onto the main trunk. Thing is, some of these choices have options that trip flags, and you have to trip EVERY available flag to get the Good Ending � no Emi or Rin-style Hail Marys, no chance to gather information before making your decision at the end like with Shizune or Hanako, you have to get everything important right on the first try. They call it the hardest route in the game for a reason.

Huh. I had no idea. I would have thought that would be Rin's route. I don't remember struggling with any of the options in Lilly's route. Maybe I was just lucky.

# ? Jan 22, 2022 10:05

Falconier111: Jul 18, 2012; S T A R M E T A L C A S T E

Dirk the Average posted:

Is this transcribed correctly? It's a very odd sentence.

As far as I can tell, yes. I think she's busy? Or maybe it's something else.

# ? Jan 23, 2022 01:46

citybeatnik: Mar 1, 2013; You Are All
WEIRDOS

Falconier111 posted:

As far as I can tell, yes. I think she's busy? Or maybe it's something else.

She's busy studying for a test, Hisao tells Lily that later on. And/or being a wing (wo)man.

# ? Jan 23, 2022 16:40

Dirk the Average: Feb 7, 2012; "This may have been a mistake."

Fair enough - the meaning is clear, it's just not said the way I would expect anyone to say it.

We're talking about a meetup that is outside of their living area; usually when someone says they can come somewhere, it's either to come along with someone else or to come over to a where someone already is. If you're leaving to go out somewhere, like to a store, then the phrasing tends to change to not being able to make it or not being able to go with that person.

It's really minor but it stuck out to me when I read the sentence. Might just be a regional thing.

# ? Jan 23, 2022 20:27

Nidoking: Jan 27, 2009; I fought the lava, and the lava won.

One of the few useful things I remember from my Japanese studies is that come/go work a bit differently. In English, they're from the perspective of the listener, but in Japanese, they're from the perspective of the speaker. The main distinction would be traveling to visit someone you're talking to on the phone - in English, you might say "May I come to your house?" but in Japanese, it would always be "May I go to your house?" I don't think that's what happened with this particular sentence - I also had to read it a few times to realize that Hanako was saying she wasn't able to accompany Lilly to the store.

# ? Jan 23, 2022 21:33

Evil Kit: May 29, 2013; I'm viable ladies.

Maybe it's just me but that sentence seems natural and pretty clear? Hanako is just cutting off the part after "can't come with..." you'd normally add in to be more explicit in your meaning. I'm pretty sure I've also used and/or heard similar statements myself IRL so might be a regional thing. :shrug:

# ? Jan 24, 2022 00:03

Karia: Mar 27, 2013; Self-portrait, Snake on a Plane
Oil painting, c. 1482-1484
Leonardo DaVinci (1452-1591)

I ended up replaying Lilly's route over this weekend, and it's overall my favorite. It's not perfect, there's one particular section which uses a writing style I'm not very fond of, but there are a few things which I think it communicates better than the other routes. I'd been writing a post on that based on what Falconier's shown so far, but it turns out that the rest of the story makes them pretty explicit so I may as well hold off.

On a different note, here's an interesting video I ran across. It's about a late 90s children's TV show called The Puzzle Place, which was funded by the PBS to raise awareness about diversity. Most of it focuses on race and gender, but there are a couple episodes talking about disabilities. It's heartening that the showmakers thought to include disabilities, and I wonder if that would have grown if the show had continued. Some episodes are available on Youtube, including the last episode, "I'm Talking to You", where one of the main characters meets a deaf girl. I'll probably try to watch a couple this week.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2wnZzCLL1qs

# ? Jan 24, 2022 03:15

Falconier111: Jul 18, 2012; S T A R M E T A L C A S T E

Update 112: Bon Voyage (Act 2, Scenes 7-8)

Katawa Shoujo OST ~ Passing of Time

(Silence)

I sweat profusely, awaiting the dreaded moment. Each tick of the clock tenses my muscles that much more, every minute making more hairs stand on end. It's coming for me, I can feel it.

Katawa Shoujo OST #19 - High Tension

------------Death.

:eng101:

That last line is bright red. :eng101:

Death in the form of a single sheet of paper. I take the small pile of papers from the student in front of me and pass it backwards after plucking off the top piece. Looking to the top right of the page, I find my fears realized within that small red circle.

(Sudden Silence, Lightning Sound)

Forty-three. I hang my head and sigh in resignation. Cursing under my breath, I can feel the aura of a similar sentiment rising from the entire class. It's strange, but that fact lifts my mood by a minuscule amount. Misery loves company, I suppose. As the teacher opens his mouth, the room braces for the inevitable onslaught...

Katawa Shoujo OST - School Days (Bell Sound)

...only to be saved at the last minute. We quickly move to collect our bags and leave for lunch post-haste, but the teacher delivers a parting broadside.

TEACHER: �We'll be discussing the class' test scores next lesson. Needless to say, there will be quite some discussion to be had.�

A collective groan resounds from the class, now reduced to shuffling out dejectedly. I push the sheet into my bag as I walk along the hallway, crumpling it in the process. It's enough that such a troublesome letter ended up on my desk yesterday, and now this.

HISAO: "I hate English..."

Katawa Shoujo OST #19 - High Tension

???: "HI� SA� O!"

A stern female voice gruffly calls out from behind me. I freeze on the spot, my face becoming like stone. It's as if I can feel my brain disconnecting from my body. My eyes slowly shift right, trying to catch a glimpse of the disembodied voice.

(Silence)

...nothing? My face begins to slip as time passes, and I decide to risk turning my head. Ever so slowly, I twist it to the�

HISAO: "GYAAAAH!"

I jump into the air and drop my bag, yelling out in surprise. As I recover and regain my composure, I turn to see... I should have known.

Emi.

Katawa Shoujo OST - Hokabi

EMI: "Gotcha, Hisao."

She stands there with a mischievous grin on her face, hands forward and fingers pointed inwards. She was the one who jabbed my ribs with her fingers. I look down at her with a grimace, rubbing my hair in frustration.

HISAO: "That's no way to greet someone, you know."

EMI: "You have no sense of humor."

HISAO: "I left my sense of humor in my English class. Complain to the teacher if you want it given back to me."

She pulls her best puppy-dog eyes on me as she pouts. Lilly's managed to build up my resistance to the tactic, but Emi's short stature adds enough to the effect to make me relent.

HISAO: "So, how are things? I haven't seen you around for a while."

EMI: "Same old, same old. I run so fast, nobody wants to join me on my morning runs. It's a real pain."

Her modesty never fails to amuse me.

EMI: "Although..."

Uh oh.

EMI: "You know what I'm thinking, don't you Hisao?"

Wearing my emotions on my sleeve is one of my worst habits. She's seen right through me. Fortunately, I see somebody else approaching us that will give me an out.

HISAO: "Oh, hi Hanako."

I give her a welcoming wave, and try my best at looking like I haven't noticed Emi's pouting face. She gives a small wave back.

HANAKO: "H-hello, Hisao... Emi."

EMI: "Hey Hanako."

HISAO: "I'll join you and Lilly in a sec. Actually, speaking of lunchtime company, it's odd to see you without Rin, Emi."

EMI: "Ah! Rin!"

(Sudden Silence)

Without a second word, she forgets all about us and bolts off up the hallway. She must've forgotten she was waiting for her. Hanako and I stand speechless, only able to helplessly stand and watch this ball of seemingly boundless energy dash off.

Katawa Shoujo OST - Hokabi

EMI: "Oh yeah, Hisao..."

She suddenly stops herself just before vanishing around the corner to the rooftop staircase, spinning around to meet our bemused faces.

EMI: "I hate English too."

(Silence)

And with that, she disappears. All I can do is hang my head and give a long sigh, thoroughly left in the dust. As I hear a short giggle coming from behind me, I turn to see Hanako smiling at the corner my attacker rounded. I pick up my dropped bag from the floor and quickly dust it off.

Katawa Shoujo OST - Daylight

HISAO: "'Afternoon. Been busy?"

HANAKO: "You don't... like English?"

HISAO: "Hmm? Oh, uh, nah. I had a test on it a while back, and Emi caught me brooding about the results."

HANAKO: "Ah, sorry..."

She averts her gaze, guilt written onto her face. A casual observer would think she'd just accidentally reminded me of a dead relative.

HISAO: "Come on, it's not your fault. How're you doing in it?"

She looks up, though still avoids meeting my eyes.

HANAKO: "All right, I... suppose."

An awkward silence passes. They seem all too common around Hanako.

HANAKO: "Oh, Lilly asked if... you'd like to join us for lunch on the roof."

I guess I don't exactly have any pressing engagements to attend to.

HISAO: "Sure, I'll be right up."

HANAKO: "Um, I'll... go get my lunch from the cafeteria now... then."

HISAO: "Go on. You don't need my approval to leave, you know."

HANAKO: "O-okay. I'll... be going then."

She gives a skittish reply, a small nod and quickly makes off towards the cafeteria. I guess she must've forgotten to bring lunch today.

(Silence, Crowd Sounds)

As I walk through the hallways, more and more students start to come out of classrooms and pass me, going in the same direction as Hanako went. By the time I manage to make it to the stairs, I'm having to push my way past a busily chatting throng of students.

(Silence, Crowd Sounds Stop)

I finally manage to get past the last of the crowd and round the staircase, slumping slightly in relief and slowing my pace before I open the door to the roof.

HISAO: "Ah, drat!"

I momentarily avert my eyes, all but blinded by the harsh summer sun.

???: "Hmm?"

As I slowly regain my vision, the surroundings finally take form. Lilly, Emi and Rin sit together on the rooftop, the top of the hilltop forest around Yamaku visible past the fence around them, as if to frame the view.

Katawa Shoujo OST - Air Guitar

EMI: "Ah, Hisao!"

Lilly and Rin give a quick nod of acknowledgment and a deep nod of greeting respectively. I start walking towards the rather mismatched trio, and can't help marveling at the speed with which Emi devours the rest of her half-eaten banana.

HISAO: "Hey. Strange to see you three together like this."

LILLY: "It seems to have been quite the day of coincidences; Emi and Rin decided to eat on the roof just as Hanako and I decided to."

EMI: "You stole it! This spot was ours!"

HISAO: "Simmer down, you can't steal a place in the school."

I plonk myself down beside Lilly, the four of us creating a semicircle.

RIN: "I think she is right."

HISAO: "You too?"

RIN: "The butterfly is her accomplice."

HISAO: "The butter..."

As I glance around, sure enough, a small yellow butterfly floats across my field of vision.

HISAO: "So tell me, how did this butterfly help Lilly �steal� this spot?"

RIN: "It scouted out our conversation and told her."

I should've known better than to expect sound reasoning from Rin. Regardless, I guess it wouldn't hurt to play along.

HISAO: "You're telling me she can talk to butterflies?"

RIN: "There are people who can talk to horses, called horse whisperers. Lilly must be a butterfly whisperer."

I bury my head in my hands as Emi rounds on her strange companion. She doesn't seem to share Rin's sense of humor.

EMI: "Whisperers don't work like that."

Emi and Rin continue their banter as I turn to Lilly, who's busily finishing off her small box of curry and rice with a pair of wooden chopsticks.

HISAO: "So what brought you up here, anyway?"

LILLY: "A little fresh air every now and again doesn't hurt."

EMI: "Ah!"

Emi breaks off from her vain attempts to introduce the concept of logic to Rin.

EMI: "That was why we came up here too!"

Something tells me it was her idea alone, and that Rin only got dragged up here on Emi's whim. Then again, the same could probably be said of Lilly and Hanako.

LILLY: "Now, now. We can share."

(Silence)

The creaking of the door to the roof can be heard as soon as she says the words. A moment of silence falls over us as everyone's attention focuses on the figure appearing from it.

Hanako slowly walks over to us, her eyes pinned to the ground, silently ruing the attention she's attracting. She tenses, just barely, when her eyes meet Rin's. I can't help raising an eyebrow as she walks over to us and sits next to me, doing her utmost to avoid looking up even as she brings her cafeteria bread to her mouth.

HISAO: "So how do you and Emi know each other, anyways?"

Katawa Shoujo OST - Air Guitar

LILLY: "Emi's somewhat well known around the school for her athletic ability. She's the fastest member of the track and field club by some margin, even beating Miki Miura at the track meet last week."

Miki Miura... ah, that tanned girl from the front of my class. Considering her height and toned body, being able to beat her is quite an accomplishment. Looking over to Emi, it's very clear she's well aware of this fact as she beams proudly.

EMI: "So, Hisao. What was your score in English?"

Ouch.

HISAO: "No comment."

EMI: "Boo~."

She puffs her cheeks and pouts, but it doesn't take long for her to bounce back.

EMI: "All right, if I tell you mine, you have to tell me yours. Deal?"

HISAO: "Fine, fine."

(Silence)

EMI: "Okay, on the count of three, we both say our results. One... Two... Three!"

HISAO: "..."

EMI: "Thirty-two!"

I beam a mischievous grin.

Katawa Shoujo OST - Katawa Shoujo OST - Generic Happy Music

EMI: "Ah! Evil! Evil, evil, evil, evil!"

HISAO: "You said it, not me. Still, the fact that you managed an even lower score than me is kind of amazing."

EMI: "Grr~!"

She looks and sounds like a small terrier growling at an intruder. I can't say it's the most threatening sight I've seen.

LILLY: "Either way, scoring higher than thirty-two isn't something to boast about, much less scoring below it. For any subject."

HISAO: "Yes, Lilly."

EMI: "Sorry, Lilly."

LILLY: "I could help you with your English, if you'd like. It would be my pleasure to�"

EMI: "No, no, that's fine. But I appreciate the thought. Really."

Lilly looks slightly deflated, her hopes of imparting her knowledge dashed. Judging from the badly hidden laughter of the rest of us, neither she nor Emi seem to have garnered too much pity.

(Sudden Silence, Heartbeat)

As I sit happily laughing though, I feel my voice suddenly cut off as my chest clenches. I sit in silence for a few seconds, all my concentration forced on my heartbeat.

Katawa Shoujo OST - Cold Iron (Heartbeats Continue)

It's only a small pain, but the ache feels like it's growing. Breathe deeply... breathe deeply... I glance upward to try and keep at least some of my attention on my surroundings, to see Emi suddenly freezing when she notices the expression of pain on my face out of the corner of her eye.

EMI: "Hey, Hisao... are you okay?"

HISAO: "Yeah, I'm... fine..."

I look back down and redouble my efforts to try and stay calm, clenching my fists to try and dull the pain. It takes a short time, but the pain, thankfully, begins to fade.

(Silence)

When I look back up, there's only silence and pensive faces to be seen. I guess I'd better explain myself.

[]caged iron

HISAO: "Arrhythmia. I'm fine, it's... just a heart flutter."

LILLY: "Are you sure? Should we get the nurse?"

Taking her cue, Hanako quickly picks herself up and begins to dash to the door.

HISAO: "Hanako, stop. Lilly, I'm fine."

RIN: "You look like a wet, wrinkled tomato."

HISAO: "Huh?"

As I bring my hand to my forehead, I can feel the beads of sweat gathered on it and dab them off with my cuff.

HISAO: "Thanks. I told you, I'm fine. I'm just kind of... fragile, I guess."

The entire atmosphere's changed from one of gaiety to downcast faces, the situation being too awkward for anyone to know exactly how to react. And of course, the whole thing is thanks to me. It just had to happen now, around others.

(Silence)

LILLY: "Oh, Emi?"

EMI: "Hmm?"

She looks up, a box of juice halfway to her mouth.

LILLY: "I haven't told you of my score yet, have I?"

EMI: "Yeah, well. You're half-foreign, so your score doesn't count anyway."

Lifting an eyebrow, I inquisitively turn to Lilly.

HISAO: "What was your test result, anyway?"

She gives a cheeky grin.

Katawa Shoujo OST - Concord (Lilly�s Theme)

LILLY: "One hundred percent. Perfect score."

No way. All I can do is hang my mouth open in wonder. Considering those tests are insane even for some native speakers, I can only imagine she's gone and done something like committing to mind part of the dictionary. A gift for rote memorization, maybe.

HISAO: "That's..."

EMI: "See! Only someone part-foreign could get a score that good."

HISAO: "�See�..."

EMI: "Er..."

Lilly and I grin at Emi's expense, her reaction identical to mine when I'd first tripped on that little landmine. Lilly's foreign ancestry does raise a point, though.

HISAO: "Ah, that's right. You leave tomorrow for Scotland, don't you?"

LILLY: "That's correct. Emi heard some rumors about it; it seems word's spreading quickly, considering I only told a friend in my class a couple of days ago."

EMI: "It must be so nice to go halfway around the world on a holiday. Hey, could you buy me something while you're there?"

HISAO: "Don't be too shy now."

Lilly gives a lighthearted giggle, evidently fully expecting Emi's bluntness. The rest of the lunch continues much the same as before, the jauntiness from before my heart flutter thankfully returning in full.

(Silence)

As everyone files off with the appropriate farewells, only Lilly and I are left.

HISAO: "Hey, Lilly?"

She packs the last of her things into her bag and clips it shut, before perking her head up slightly.

LILLY: "Hmm?"

HISAO: "Um... thanks for breaking the silence back there. I kind of wanted to stop it, but didn't really know how to."

As much as I'd like to sound less morose about it, the letter from yesterday, screwing up a test so badly in class, and now my heart make things very hard indeed. She gives an indulgent smile and nods. I hope she hasn't picked up on it, but knowing her, it's unlikely that she hasn't.

LILLY: "Emi's strong, but only human. We do worry about you, Hisao."

HISAO: "Hold on, why would I worry you?"

Her smiling face collapses, becoming uncomfortably serious.

LILLY: "Hisao, we are not ignorant of your situation. Unli..."

Katawa Shoujo OST - Aria De l�Etoile

She suddenly cuts herself short, unsure of whether she should say what she intends to. I give a weak smile and rest my hand on her shoulder.

HISAO: "Don't. It's enough that I worry about it. I don't want you all to shoulder my burden."

LILLY: "But..."

HISAO: "If you all worry about it, I have to worry about your worrying. If... that makes sense. I'm fine, okay?"

For a moment she looks to be lost in thought, carefully pondering how to react.

LILLY: "Hisao, do you have any paper left from your food's packaging?"

HISAO: "I... think so? I'll just check."

I rummage around in my bag for the leftovers from lunch, eventually finding a paper square from my sandwich's package. My eyebrow raised and my expression rather quizzical, I gently place the square into Lilly's hand. Without another word, she brings her fingers around it to feel out its edges.

LILLY: "This should be large enough..."

With both of us seated on the roof, the minutes to the lesson ticking away, she proceeds to lay the item on the ground and begin her work in earnest. Wrapped in silence, I watch her fingers move about on the small square with amazing dexterity. A small fold here, a larger fold there, her fingertips keep a slow but sure pace. Looking up, her expression is calm and placid. The fact her face is pointed well above the sheet in front of her makes the sight of her work all the more curious.

Her shoulder slump a bit after finishing one final fold, her work apparently done. It's only when she holds the item up in her hands that I realize what it is.

A small origami crane. Light brown thanks to the packaging used, the result looks quite delicate and precise.

HISAO: "You can do origami?"

LILLY: "I taught myself how to do it when I was younger. It improved my dexterity a bit."

HISAO: "Huh..."

A little baffled, I carefully take the small bird from her pale cupped hands as if it would break from the slightest breath. It seems to be folded quite well, and holds its shape easily. We both grab our bags and head out the door, Lilly extending her cane as she does so. I hold Lilly's handiwork up to my face for further inspection while we walk down the hallway, her hand running along the silver handrails for orientation. If she taught herself origami to improve her dexterity, with the use of her hands meaning so much to her given her condition... ah, so that's it. I smile as I realize the bird's meaning. �Everyone here has had to find their own ways of dealing with their conditions. You aren't alone here when you have problems.�

HISAO: "Thanks, Lilly. I appreciate this."

She gives a sweet smile and a nod, not using words where none need be used, in her typical manner.

LILLY: "All I ask is that you take care of yourself, Hisao."

HISAO: "Don't worry, I will."

LILLY: "Promise?"

HISAO: "Promise."

And with that, we part ways.

(Silence)

To be honest, I don't know what annoys me more - the fact that I could die at any moment, or the fact that everyone knows that. I guess I'll just take each day as it comes. As the unexpected present in my hand reminds me, I'm not alone here. Even though I may be like this, I'm not alone. If they worry, if anyone worries, I'll smile. I'll smile enough for all their worries to go away.

Katawa Shoujo OST ~ Passing of Time

(Silence)

The moment the bell rings out, a collective sigh of relief comes from everyone. Much of the morning's been taken up by a droning lecture on stoichiometry, a topic entirely unbefitting of the insufferable heat permeating the classroom.

Katawa Shoujo OST - Fripperies

Knowing that attempting to teach anything more would be an exercise in futility, Mutou gives up and begins clearing the teaching materials from his desk for the day.

As meaningless banter starts filling the classroom, I notice Hanako getting up and coming to my desk. She's been a lot less withdrawn lately, something which gives me a small measure of satisfaction.

HANAKO: "Hello, Hisao."

HISAO: "Hey. Want to go pick up Lilly, then? It's close to the time when she'd need to get going if she's going to make the flight."

HANAKO: "Um... about that... She said she might be held up a bit by her classmates."

I suppose that makes sense. Her class usually gets off a little earlier than ours, so Lilly would normally have just come to our classroom. Her class must be sending her off.

HISAO: "Well, never mind. We can wait outside her classroom for once, right?"

She gives a small giggle before nodding, the two of us taking our things and leaving for 3-2's classroom.

When we reach our destination, I stop in idle amusement at the scene inside. One of the shorter girls from the class has Lilly wrapped in an enthusiastic hug, her head no higher than Lilly's chin. Her other friends, of which there are several, are gathered around her as well. Lilly simply smiles kindly and hugs her back. I guess Lilly must be pretty popular. Compared to Shizune's harsh but fair dictatorship of 3-3, Lilly seems more like a mother figure for 3-2, to say nothing of her height and looks. Kenji's pointedly cool demeanor as he packs up his things at his seat in the back corner of the classroom is expected. He's no doubt far from a fan of the fuss being made about Lilly's leaving. Looking beside me and seeing Hanako following my gaze, I decide to finally enter the room.

Katawa Shoujo OST - Fripperies (Crowd Sounds)

HISAO: "'Afternoon, Lilly. It's just me and Hanako."

Hanako withers noticeably when exposed to the din being made around Lilly. Try as she might, I doubt she'll ever completely get over her social anxiety.

HANAKO: "Hello..."

Lilly manages to work out our position reasonably well, her classmate detaching herself without a second word. A look of slight exasperation is written on Lilly's face, though I can't say I blame her.

LILLY: "Hello Hisao, Hanako. Do we have much time before the flight leaves?"

I give a quick glance at my watch. Taking the trip to the airport into account, there's a good ten, maybe fifteen minutes left while still allowing for contingencies.

HISAO: "Yeah, we still have a few minutes to kill. I wouldn't worry about missing it yet."

CLASSMATE: "Ah, is this Hanako?"

Uh oh. I think we've just inadvertently become entangled in Lilly's social web. The girl is probably part of the legally-blind faction of the class like Kenji, given her almost windowpane-like spectacles. Her short, roughly-cut hair gives her a look that fits her excitable expression.

HANAKO: "H-hello... um..."

She takes Hanako's hand and pulls it up and down enthusiastically. I really don't get how girls can be so social to someone they only know as the friend of a friend. While Hanako exchanges nervous greetings, I look around the room for my short and overdressed next-door neighbor. Try as I might, he seems to have slipped out of the classroom without anyone noticing. For a moment I try to think of possible career paths that could reasonably benefit from his single skill, before putting my mind to more pertinent matters. Lilly seems pleased, if somewhat guarded, about the enthusiasm Hanako's suddenly excited from those around her. She might not see it, but Hanako's much less panicked about the affair than I'd anticipated.

Shuffling my way through the gaggle of classmates, I eventually manage to reach her.

HISAO: "Don't worry, Hanako's fine."

LILLY: "Thank you. I thought she might be overwhelmed by them."

CLASSMATE: "Don't worry, we'll be gentle!"

Both of us grimace in unison. Hanako's nervous grin stays plastered on her face as another couple of girls moves in to meet her. It's kind of amazing that even just a month ago she'd never have been able to cope with a situation such as this. Even when I first met her, the two of us completely alone, she sprinted from the library.

HISAO: "So, got everything you need?"

LILLY: "It's all packed. I just have to go by my room to pick it up on the way, and Hanako and I need to change."

HISAO: "I guess we'd better get going, then. Hanako?"

Hanako's head flicks up towards us in a flash, her face rather unmistakably appreciating the chance to extricate herself from the small group gathered around her.

HANAKO: "C-coming!"

Katawa Shoujo OST - Afternoon

The long taxi ride to the airport is surprisingly pleasant, despite the three of us being rather squashed together to fit in the small back seat. On the other hand, maybe �despite� isn't the right word. Lilly pays the fare to the driver as we file out, Hanako's eyes flittering left and right. Thankfully there aren't too many people around, most of them being inside the main building rather than milling around outside.

It isn't hard to spot Akira and Hideaki leaning against a fence while talking to pass the time. A large black travel bag, complete with wheels and travel handle, leans against the fence alongside them. Hideaki's the first to notice us, pointing us out to Akira who gives an overenthusiastic wave.

AKIRA: "Hey! He~y!"

I grab Lilly's travel bag for her as we go to meet the two, earning a nod of appreciation.

AKIRA: "I've got all my stuff here, you got yours? Plane ticket as well?"

LILLY: "Don't worry, I have everything. You?"

AKIRA: "Yep. All ready to go."

HIDEAKI: "Not without some problems along the way, I might add."

The snide remark has his head roughly dragged around by a very firmly clamped-on hand.

AKIRA: "Haha yeah, I kinda sorta forgot it was in my trousers' pocket. Trousers that I'd put in the wash..."

LILLY: "Oh no..."

AKIRA: "Don't worry, don't worry. Did you know you can print out tickets if you order online nowadays? It's really cool."

Hideaki's pained expression says that this wasn't a solution found quickly. It could have been worse, I guess.

LILLY: "We'd better start off then. Check-in would be ready by now."

AKIRA: "Yeah, you're right."

(Silence)

There's a certain amount of wistfulness in both their voices. To say nothing of the people left behind, meeting their family again after all these years would be big for them.

Katawa Shoujo OST - Lullaby of Open Eyes

HANAKO: "Lilly..."

Hanako wraps Lilly in a gentle hug to say goodbye, one which is warmly reciprocated. Lilly and I share a brief hug afterward, each of us saying our goodbyes. Beside us, Akira and Hideaki break off from a small hug and a word or two between them. It would probably look quite nice if not for the almost comical height difference between the two. Lilly takes a hold of her sister's arm once all that needs to be said in farewells is said, the two walking past the huge glass doors.

LILLY: "Goodbye Hisao, Hanako!"

AKIRA: "Seeya! Don't do anything stupid, Shortie!"

We wave at them until they disappear from sight in the throng of people moving about inside. And then... we're alone.

HISAO: "Well... that's that."

I turn to see Hideaki already beginning to walk off.

HISAO: "Seeya."

He throws a hand into the air, in a manner I'd expect of Akira. In the end, it's just Hanako and I left standing outside. I rest my hand on her shoulder. She absentmindedly gazes towards the front doors of the building, as if she might catch a glimpse of either of the two before they disappear.

HISAO: "Don't worry, the time'll pass fast."

She hesitates for a moment, but eventually nods. With the scorching heat of the summer sun beaming down on us, we make our way to the nearby bus stop.

It's strange, really. Just when I'd begun to see Lilly differently, she leaves on what almost feels like a pilgrimage to the past. In a way, though, that's just what I've been doing since coming to Yamaku. As much as I may reflect on everything that's happened to me, I really am hardly unique. Everyone has their own circumstances and separate paths to get where they are now. Yet I still can't really work out how I should proceed. My life may have practically been reset, and I still can't find anything that satisfactorily fills the hole I still feel in myself.

Maybe Lilly's leaving will be a good thing for me. Without her to lean on, I'll need to do more for myself. I'll have to be there for Hanako as well. It feels strange to have so much changing so quickly after my months in that hospital that seemed to exist so separately from reality, but that's all the more reason for me to keep focused. I can't let any opportunity slip out of my fingers in my attempt to rebuild my life.

END OF ACT 2

# ? Jan 24, 2022 16:06

Antistar01: Oct 20, 2013

Falconier111 posted:

(Picture description: Hanako, Lilly, Emi and Rin standing together.)

Is this the only time we see all four main female characters together?

:shizune:

"Five main female characters?" Nope, don't know what you could possibly be referring to.

# ? Jan 25, 2022 09:52

Falconier111: Jul 18, 2012; S T A R M E T A L C A S T E

Update 113: Minor Discord (Act 3, Scenes 1-3)

Katawa Shoujo OST - School Days

I rest my chin on my hand as I absentmindedly look out the window, yet another of Mutou's lectures droning on and on as if it were endless. The summer sky is almost alluring in its bright cerulean splendor. Only the odd cloud breaks up the deep blue expanse. This feeling of longing is probably the outdoors side of me yearning to escape.

MUTOU: "Nakai, could you answer this?"

That side of me's lost to the past now, though.

HISAO: "In that case... I think it would use the -ane suffix?"

MUTOU: "Correct. Moving on, the suffix for..."

As my attention towards Mutou slips once again, I spot Misha giving me an enthusiastic thumbs-up, and nod at her to settle her down. It's been a handful of days since Lilly left for Scotland, days which have passed relatively peacefully. Life largely continued as usual, in contrast to what I'd expected. While thoughts of her have danced around on the edge of my mind since she left, present events manage to subdue them. At least for the time being. So I find myself idly chatting with Hanako, as usual, when lunchtime finally rolls by.

HANAKO: "Are the later ones in the series good as well?"

HISAO: "Not really. You're probably best off just sticking to the original. His later books didn't live up to it, other than maybe �God Emperor.�"

HANAKO: "Thanks, I wasn't really sure if..."

As Hanako steps to the side, I see Shizune stride up in her typically businesslike manner, flanked by her ever-present bright-haired shadow. Try as I might, I can't read any hint of their intent from their faces. Shizune's poker face and Misha's seemingly boundless cheerfulness are a devilish combination.

HISAO: "'Morning Shizune, Misha."

HANAKO: "Um... hi."

I accentuate the greeting with a nod to Shizune in order to get the point across. She promptly and curtly returns the gesture to both of us. It's been a long while since I've really talked to either of them. For a while I thought they might be avoiding me, but I eventually came to the conclusion that Shizune really isn't the type to do so.

SHIZUNE: "..."

MISHA: "'Morning~! Shicchan says that Mutou wants to see you sometime."

Because of this statement, my face contorts as if I'd just eaten spoiled food, giving Misha no end of amusement.

MISHA: "Wahahaha~! Anyone'd think you were in trouble, Hicchan!"

SHIZUNE: "..."

MISHA: "You may not be aware of it, but you have the least to worry about out of anyone in the class."

What an unexpected vote of confidence. Even Hanako nods hesitantly to affirm the point.

HISAO: "Thanks, I'll keep that in mind. There was something I wanted to ask you, though."

SHIZUNE: "..."

MISHA: "And what might that be, Hicchan?"

I have a feeling this won't go over well, but here goes...

HISAO: "Is there any reason why you and Lilly don't get along? It seems like even a little civility would help you both in your duties."

Shizune's cold stare after Misha happily signs the words stops me in my tracks. In hindsight, I really could have worded that better. Out of the corner of my eye, I'm sure I see Hanako move back. Just a little. Thankfully, Shizune notices this and lets her temper dissipate as she forcefully runs her hand through her hair to let off steam. Perfectly on cue, Misha begins interpreting the second Shizune's arms begin to move.

SHIZUNE: "..."

MISHA: "I would say that such matters aren't relevant to you, but since you seem to have befriended Lilly..."

She pauses to adjust her glasses, evidently attempting to articulate her point in the best possible manner.

SHIZUNE: "..."

MISHA: "While I assume the same of her, I cannot call my own views on the matter unbiased. Suffice to say, we were closer before than we are now."

Shizune makes a quick gesture to Misha to stop her from interpreting, then has a quick meeting with her before proceeding. The fact that the two can communicate so easily yet so secretly right in front of us is slightly disconcerting. Hanako seems to share my curiosity at the proceedings, looking on with thinly-masked interest. As they finish their opaque conversation, Misha looks slightly deflated. I guess her opinion on the matter wasn't followed.

MISHA: "Shicchan says you should ask Lilly about it, as she doesn't want to be the one that gets you involved."

Ah well. I'll just have to ask her after she gets back. At least I got some information out of Shizune; the two having been on close terms means that they weren't always at each other's throats, or at least not quite to this extent.

HISAO: "I understand. Thanks anyway."

(Silence)

With a nod and a farewell the two break away and walk out the door, no doubt headed straight for the student council room.

HISAO: "...Could have gone worse, I suppose."

Hanako lets out a long breath, relieved at the confrontation's resolution. I can't say I blame her.

HANAKO: "I'll see you later, then?"

HISAO: "Yeah, I'll meet you in the tea room. Seeya."

With that, she waves and joins the trickle of students leaving the classroom.

MUTOU: "Nakai, could I speak with you for a moment?"

Delivered in his typical monotone manner. He apparently decided that I need a reminder to see him already. Eventually I finish packing up my things. By the time I reach his desk the classroom is close to empty.

HISAO: "Uh... yes, sir?"

Katawa Shoujo OST - Fripperies

He looks up, taking measure of my face before giving an awkward, rather obviously acted, chuckle.

MUTOU: "No need to feel guilty, you're not in any trouble. I just want to ask you something I've asked a few of the other students so far."

That's something at least. For a moment, I'd thought my maxim of keeping my head down and pen up had failed me.

HISAO: "So what did you want to talk about?"

MUTOU: "To start with, what do you think of your progress in this class, so far? Good? Bad?"

I detest that kind of question. For a fair amount of time I try to think of a response that is neither pathetically humble, nor cocky.

HISAO: "I'd say I'm doing okay. The work doesn't seem too hard, and I'm doing better on the tests than I thought I would."

MUTOU: "That's a good answer. A correct one, too."

I give a mental sigh of relief at his satisfaction. To say that I don't gain a little pride from his comment would be a blatant lie. In the maelstrom of thoughts clouding my mind after learning that I'd be transferring to Yamaku, my school grades seemed utterly unimportant. Being entirely clueless as to what skill level would be assumed of me, once I actually got here I was hugely relieved when I found out that I understood well enough the schoolwork we'd be doing.

MUTOU: "I know your circumstances might have thrown a wrench in the works, but have you given any thought to your future?"

HISAO: "My future?"

MUTOU: "What you'd like to do as a profession. Do you have any thoughts of where you'd like to be in ten or twenty years' time? I wouldn't be surprised if you covered this ground in your previous school, but I don't have any record of it if you have."

I suppose the last year of high school is the time when students would need to be thinking about such things. To be honest, I really haven't lent it much thought, compared to my immediate situation. Catching on to my thinking, Mutou speaks up.

MUTOU: "It's okay if you haven't decided on anything specific yet. I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of your classmates were still undecided, after all. Maybe pursue one of your talents?"

He's rather obviously trying to squeeze an answer out of me, and something about his previous wording makes me suspicious. He didn't seem to be intent on asking everybody like this, so he must have some kind of selection criteria. At a guess, our marks in his class.

HISAO: "Well, something in science might be the path of least resistance."

His face brightens, no doubt pleased at the thought of a prized student following his subject as a career path.

MUTOU: "Good. Having a general idea is the first step. I would advise you to think on it, though."

HISAO: "I will. Things are kinda settling down, which will help."

MUTOU: "Good to hear. Oh, and I've noticed that Ikezawa's attendance and marks have improved since you came to be friends. I'd like to thank you for that."

HISAO: "I'm surprised you noticed we knew each other."

He gives a chuckle as awkward as his smile. This guy really has no idea how to properly act around others. Every facial movement seems like an act of careful but misdirected choreography.

MUTOU: "You could say that having a general idea of who knows whom is part of a teacher's job."

Catching himself before he goes off on a tangent, he loudly coughs into his hand.

MUTOU: "I'm sure you have things to do, though, so I'll stop there. Please do think about where you're headed from here, as you don't have long to go before you finish high school."

HISAO: "I will. Thanks."

(Silence)

The brief talk ended, I take my leave. He goes back to fussing with the teaching materials on his desk. This is one of the times I'm envious of Lilly, almost maddeningly so. To have one's future so clear and so assured, yet working towards it from such a young age... It's an idea so utterly irreconcilable with my own thoughts, mired in the present day just as they've always been.

Katawa Shoujo OST ~ Passing of Time

(Silence)

Walking through the lobby to the cafeteria, I silently rue my daily routine having been completely thrown off. It had seemed like a normal day; I arrived in class before most, due to waking early and having become quite adept at chucking down my pills without choking as I get ready for the day. But as students trickled in, one never materialized.

Hanako.

(Silence, Crowd Sounds)

I step inside, my eyes scanning the expanse of the cafeteria in search of a suitable place to take a seat. It's a task made more difficult by the groups of students moving about and busily talking.

HISAO: "Geh!"

A hand pounds my back hard a couple of times, severely winding me. I couldn't care less about the culprit as I focus my thoughts on my chest in a near-automatic reaction.

(Silence, Heartbeats, Crowd Sounds Stop)

My hand instinctively tightens on my breast, and I start going through the steps I rehearse in my mind every other day. Breathe steadily... in... and out... With a measure of relief, I can slowly feel my chest becoming less tense.

(Silence, Heartbeats Stop, Crowd Sounds)

By the time I look back up, my face is covered in sweat from the experience.

KENJI: "Hey... man, are you okay?"

HISAO: "GODDAMNIT! Don't do that, you idiot!"

He retreats back, an expression of unease written on his face. In hindsight, I probably shouldn't have barked at him, considering he had no way to know. I give a sigh and right myself with some difficulty.

HISAO: "Sorry. I just have some... chest problems. Sharp knocks aren't good."

It seems strange to see him so upset. The fact that I can't do anything about it irritates me.

HISAO: "Let's get lunch."

KENJI: "Okay. It's good to have some company, for once."

We start off to the serving line. One good thing is that Kenji and I can make small talk nowadays, as opposed to my only interaction with him being anti-feminist lectures.

HISAO: "Seems like it'd be hard to find an empty table."

KENJI: "There's a few people I wouldn't mind sitting with. Nobody's like you, though."

(Sudden Silence)

I feel a shiver run through my spine.

HISAO: "Clarify that now."

Katawa Shoujo OST - Out of the Loop

KENJI: "They don't listen. Their minds are closed. It's the media, man, the Goddamn brainwashing mainstream feminist Fascist media."

He takes a breath, and I savor the second of silence.

KENJI: "drat, they control everything. Everything but you and me."

I relax a little while we grab our food and drink.

Katawa Shoujo OST - Out of the Loop (Crowd Sounds)

KENJI: "So, what've you got for me?"

HISAO: "Huh?"

KENJI: "Come on, you've been hanging around Satou and that other chick for ages now. Rumors are all over my class, and probably some of the others too."

HISAO: "Eavesdropping isn't a good habit."

KENJI: "Let me guess, you never do it? Not even when you're bored? Really?"

HISAO: "Well... I... uh... Fine. Point taken."

Both of us stop to have soup ladled into a couple of small bowls and placed onto our trays. The concoction that lands into the bowl looks pretty questionable, but at least it smells reasonably good.

Katawa Shoujo OST - Out of the Loop (Crowd Sounds Stop)

As we take our seats at a miraculously free table, I try to think of something that would actually interest him at all. I hope I can come up with an acceptable topic.

HISAO: "I found an answer to that question you asked a couple of weeks back. Where Lilly's non-Japanese half comes from, that is."

KENJI: "Good man. It's Russia, right? Totally Russia."

HISAO: "Scotland."

He's visibly stopped in his tracks.

KENJI: "...Scotland?"

HISAO: "Yeah, that was my reaction too. She can speak English fluently and everything."

KENJI: "...drat it! Do you realize what this means? How terrifying this news is to me?"

"I think he's hyperventilating. Passing out for a little while would probably make him more relaxed than he normally is.

>Humor him.
>Ignore his insane ramblings.

Let�s cut this off at the pass. :eng101:

>Ignore his insane ramblings.

I dig into my food, hoping he'll take the hint from my silence.

KENJI: "I just lost 1000 yen, man! 1000 yen! drat, this is the worst day ever."

No such luck.

:eng101:

Just kidding, he keeps talking no matter what you do. :eng101:

KENJI: "One of the dudes in my class was bugging me about it. I gave him some of my wisdom, and he had the audacity to say my logic was wrong."

HISAO: "So what did he think?"

KENJI: "Eh, Germany or something. It doesn't matter. What matters is my 1000 yen. drat, this day is ruined thanks to her. What a bitch."

He looks utterly devastated as he wolfs down several clumps of his soggy soy-soaked rice. It only takes a few mouthfuls before he pokes his chopsticks at me, stabbing the air repeatedly in revelation.

KENJI: "Why... mm... mm... would... mm..."

HISAO: "Didn't your mother ever tell you not to speak with your mouth full?"

He gives me a dirty look before choking down the rest of the food left in his mouth and taking a gulp of juice. It's rather unsightly. Remembering my own food sitting in front of me, I decide to get the task of eating the cafeteria food over and done with as fast as possible. The sooner I do so, the sooner the experience will be over.

KENJI: "So as I was saying, Why would anyone want to live in that place anyway? I mean, what is there to see? Grassy plains. That's it. Lots and lots of grassy plains. And men in kilts."

I'm not sure which is worse, this food or his world view. I can feel my face being dragged down by their combined weight. Not that he'd notice, or care.

HISAO: "It's not that bad. Why do you care about her so much anyway? She's just your class representative, after all."

He gives a malevolent chuckle. Were this anyone but Kenji, I'd feel uneasy at how he sounds.

KENJI: "I finally found the chink in the feminist legion's armor. It took a while, but I'm confident that this is going to be how we can bring down the whole system. I'm about to blow your mind. Are you ready?"

(Silence)

I tune out his rambling for a moment as I finish my rice and start on the unappetizing soup. One taste is enough to confirm that it's cold.

HISAO: "Ready as I'll ever be."

KENJI: "I confirmed that Lilly is in the Mafia."

Katawa Shoujo OST - Out of the Loop

KENJI: "I confirmed that Lilly is in the Mafia."

HISAO: "What."

KENJI: "All right, stay with me for a second here, and I'll describe the scene."

I wish I could do otherwise.

KENJI: "Lilly's there, walking down the street after school."

HISAO: "You're not stalking her, are you?"

KENJI: "No! drat man, I do have some sense of self-preservation."

But not dignity, or morals, or social standards...

KENJI: "Anyway, as I was saying. This car pulls up next to her, and guess who steps out? A man in a pinstripe suit. Waves her in, then the two leave just like that. I tell you man, she's under protection. Under. Protection."

A man in a... oh. I can see where this is going now. It takes effort not to sigh in exasperation.

HISAO: "Let me guess; this man was about average height, had a slightly slender build, had blonde hair, looked foreign, and smiled a lot?"

He looks positively stunned. I take advantage of the moment of quiet to quickly gulp a mouthful of cold soup.

KENJI: "It seems you're more observant than I thought. Yes, I have chosen well."

He giggles a little, and nods to himself so dramatically that it looks comical. I can't tell whether that's intentional or not, and that fact makes me frown.

KENJI: "This has important ramifications, you know. If she really is connected to people like them, and we're smart about what we do with this information, we could turn this into our greatest weapon against the Student Council."

Once he starts rambling into conspiracy territory, my juice suddenly becomes of much more importance. Only half-listening to his pontifications, my mind drifts to the matter of Lilly and her antipathy for Shizune. The past between them is steadily becoming more coherent, but I'm not even sure if I should be learning of her past this way. Indeed, even if I do work out what went on, it really doesn't seem like my business to go and interfere.

...drat, not having Lilly around is making my thoughts wander. I'm noticeably more bored and sullen without her company, and the same goes for Hanako. All we do during lunch any more is eat and play chess. Come to think of it, I need to go check on Hanako after school, too. Considering her much improved attendance, I'm guessing she's come down with something.

(Silence)

MUTOU: "Oh, Nakai?"

I stop as I'm about to leave the classroom, turning on the ball of my heel to meet Mutou. He's holding out to me a couple of the worksheets we'd worked on during the day with his long, lanky arm.

MUTOU: "Would you mind giving these to Ikezawa? I'd normally ask one of the girls to do it, but I assume you'll be checking on her."

For a moment I briefly consider the possibility of that being more than an innocent prediction. I quickly discard the idea though, as it's hard to think of him acting in such a Machiavellian way. It's not in his nature.

HISAO: "Sure, no problem."

Katawa Shoujo OST - Nocturne

Walking up the hallway of the girl's dormitory, several ideas of why Hanako's been absent float around my head. The most obvious of them is just a simple cold. That said, she may not even be sick at all. It's been almost a week since Lilly left, and despite her at least appearing to be normal, I've suspected she's somewhat more insecure about it than she's letting on. Eventually I come to Hanako's dormitory room, its simple brown door separating us. Her room's position next to Lilly's is extremely convenient, and probably a large contributor to their meeting in the first place. Grimacing slightly at the prospect of her being sick, I rap my knuckles on the door.

...Silence. I listen intently for any sound of shuffling coming from inside, but I can't hear a thing. I knock on the door again, slightly harder. till no answer. How strange. A door opens behind me. A freckled and somewhat scrawny underclassman I don't recognize comes out and is briefly taken off guard by my presence.

GIRL: "Uh... hi."

>Ask about Hanako.
>Keep it to myself.

:eng101:

We�re here for a reason. :eng101:

>Ask about Hanako.

Actually, this may be a rather fortuitous meeting.

HISAO: "Hey. Excuse me, do you know if Hanako's come out of her room today or not? She doesn't seem to be answering."

GIRL: "Ikezawa is Ikezawa. Her not answering the door is totally normal. That tall foreign girl's the only person she'll ever talk to, after all."

She gives a shrug before walking off down the hallway, having much more important matters to attend to than Hanako or I. Her dismissive attitude annoys me. Hanako must have a reputation as a hermit; a reputation that doesn't seem outright undeserved, at least in the time before we'd met

Scratching my head, I make one last attempt at getting Hanako to answer as I knock on the door one final time.

HISAO: "Hanako, it's just me. Mutou said to give you some stuff."

For a while, the attempt seems just as unsuccessful as the last. Just before I slip the sheets under her door, though, I can hear the handle rattling.

As the door opens halfway, I do my best to look Hanako over as quickly as possible. It's a task made somewhat more difficult by her oversized gown hiding so much of her body. She doesn't look sick, or at least not immediately so. To be honest, I'd have preferred that to her expression right now.

HISAO: "Hi, Hanako. Mutou wanted me to give you these since you weren't in class today."

I hold out the loose sheets, which she tentatively takes in her hands. The way she moves is weird, devoid of thought, as if she's some kind of mechanical automaton rather than a living being.

HISAO: "Are you... okay? If you're feeling sick or anything, I could get the nurse."

It feels almost pitiful to put on such a routine �get well soon� act. I can't think of anything else I could possibly do for her, though. She seems to collect herself a little at the notion... but only a little.

HANAKO: "I'm fine."

HISAO: "Okay."

An awkward silence follows, eventually ended by her nodding solemnly in farewell and closing the door. The entire experience feels surreal. More than a little put off, I wander back to my room and hope that she'll be better by tomorrow, despite not knowing exactly what's wrong with her.

Katawa Shoujo OST ~ Passing of Time

(Silence)

Once again, I find myself in front of Hanako's door after another of her unexplained absences from class.

...

...

Nothing. Considering this is the second day in a row she's been like this, I'm starting to worry about her. Summoning my willpower, I decide to try one last way to get her to respond.

HISAO: "Hanako, if you don't say anything I'll go get the nurse for you."

HANAKO: "...Go away."

Katawa Shoujo OST - Painful History

Wh... what? It's hard to tell whether her tone's one of depression, anger, or both. What in the world can I actually do to help her, if she doesn't even want help? The message is clear enough. I can't just leave her like this, though; just sitting in her room for days on end. Rubbing my temples in thought, I withdraw to my own room to think about how to proceed. Rationality is what's needed here, as an overreaction may just make matters worse.

I dig around drawer after drawer of my desk, looking for where I put that damned piece of paper. Before she left, Lilly told me the number to call her on while in Scotland and I wrote it down. Now that I need it though, the damned thing is� Ah. Here. I probably should have just entered it directly into my cell phone, come to think of it. Without further ado, I enter the numbers and anxiously press the call button. The fact the phone rings at all shows that I got the prefix for a call to Scotland right at least. I've never made an international call before, so that's some comfort.

Eventually the phone picks up, a feminine voice I don't recognize on the other end. It's probably Lilly's mother.

???: ">Good morning. This is Karla Satou. May I help you?<"

English? Suddenly finding myself unprepared, I realize I can't understand a word she says, either due to my limited vocabulary or her heavy accent. I should have anticipated this, since according to Lilly, her mother is a native Scot. I soldier on in the hope that she must know some Japanese, considering it's her daughter's native language.

HISAO: "Um, it's Hisao Nakai... speaking..."

An enthusiastic sound of realization can be heard as she recognizes the language. My feeling of relief is immense.

MRS. SATOU: "Ah, you must be one of Lilly's friends from school, correct?"

Even so, her accent means I have to concentrate to work out what she's saying.

HISAO: "Yes, that's right. Pleased to speak to you, Mrs. Satou."

MRS. SATOU: "It's so nice of her to find someone so polite! Lilly dear, it's for you!"

Her mother seems nice, if a little overenthusiastic given the mundane situation. There's a small silence as Lilly takes her time getting to the phone. In the distance, I can just make out her mother scolding her playfully for just getting up.

LILLY: "Hello, Lilly speaking."

HISAO: "You sound awful."

She makes a sound somewhere between a dying animal and a yawn. The one thing I did remember to check before calling was the time zone. It'd be pretty late in the morning over there, so she really has no excuse.

HISAO: "Not feeling well?"

LILLY: "Just tired. What time is it there?"

HISAO: "Late afternoon. School finished for the day not long ago. You're really not a morning person, are you?"

LILLY: "I don't need you making fun of it as well..."

It takes me a measure of restraint not to laugh at her pained groan. Poor girl.

HISAO: "How're you doing over there then, bar the mornings?"

LILLY: "It's been enjoyable. After not meeting them for so long, just having a meal together with my parents is nice. Though the pool and the sheer size of the house might have something to do with that as well."

Even if they're not in Japan, from the way it sounds her family must be pretty wealthy to live so luxuriously.

LILLY: "Are things all right with you and Hanako?"

(Sudden Silence)

drat, I was hoping that wouldn't be brought up quite so quickly. I take a moment to try and sort out exactly how to describe the situation without causing her undue worry, but she picks up on that without a word being said.

Katawa Shoujo OST - Breathlessly

LILLY: "Hanako's not well, is she?"

HISAO: "How did you know?"

LILLY: "Because today is her birthday.�

# ? Jan 26, 2022 18:19

Falconier111: Jul 18, 2012; S T A R M E T A L C A S T E

I went ahead and deleted the Our Stories backup. Maintenance was too complex and ethically fraught so :shrug:

# ? Jan 27, 2022 00:43

Thunk: Oct 15, 2007

EDIT: Removed for potential spoilers. I'll bring this up again later in the route.

Thunk fucked around with this message at 21:59 on Jan 27, 2022

# ? Jan 27, 2022 05:16

SerthVarnee: Mar 13, 2011; It has been ~~two~~ zero days since last incident.; Big Super Slapstick Hunk

Falconier111 posted:

I went ahead and deleted the Our Stories backup. Maintenance was too complex and ethically fraught so .

Was that the offsite backup that was made during the dark days of Lowtax's fall from "grace"?

# ? Jan 27, 2022 09:59

Falconier111: Jul 18, 2012; S T A R M E T A L C A S T E

SerthVarnee posted:

Was that the offsite backup that was made during the dark days of Lowtax's fall from "grace"?

No, that all went down earlier. I was there, in the Fatal and Friends thread, when the news first broke. I remember chaos, anxiety, outrage. People left for good. People resolved to stay to the very end. Somebody got banned for spamming threads trying to draw refugees to his forum. CSPAM�s spin-off socialist forum boomed and busted. I saw someone post a Titanic band gif.

Those were brave times.

# ? Jan 27, 2022 22:46

Falconier111: Jul 18, 2012; S T A R M E T A L C A S T E

Update 114: A World Away (Act 3, Scenes 3-5)

Katawa Shoujo OST - Breathlessly

LILLY: I'd hoped she might have gotten at least a little better after coming to know you, but... How is she right now?"

HISAO: "She missed school yesterday and seemed out of sorts when I checked up on her. Today she missed school again, and just told me to go away. I've really got no idea what to make of it. Has this happened in the past? Is it related to her scarring in some way?"

LILLY: "Unfortunately so. Roughly the same thing happened last year when her birthday came up. As far as I can tell, it's because her parents died in the accident that caused her scarring, and Hanako blames herself for their deaths."

What she says does seem to make sense. If she's blaming herself on her birthday, she may well be ruing that she was ever born. The fact that Lilly seems so in the dark about it though, almost to the extent that I am, is a surprise.

HISAO: "So that's why she lives in the student dormitories, as well. Has she told you any more about the accident?"

LILLY: "As close as we've come... she's very barely told me anything about what happened. What I know about it is largely conjecture."

She sounds depressed, almost defeated. Considering the trauma Hanako must have gone through, I really can't fault Lilly for not knowing. Nevertheless, she still seems to consider it a personal failing.

HISAO: "Don't blame yourself, Lilly. With everything she's gone through..."

LILLY: "I know. Thank you, Hisao. I'm sorry I can't be of more help to you."

HISAO: "It's fine, I'll just give it some more thought. Thanks, and have a good time in Scotland."

LILLY: "Um, I..."

HISAO: "Hmm?"

LILLY: "It's nothing. Thank you for taking care of Hanako."

HISAO: "...Okay. Bye."

LILLY: "Goodbye."

(Silence)

And with that, the line goes silent. Amid the seemingly only increased number of questions I can't answer, the most immediate is what Lilly was going to say.

Oh. Oh no. I'm an idiot. She must have thought I was calling to talk with her, but I only asked for help with Hanako. Even more shameful than that thought is the fact that such an appraisal would be largely correct.

Well... first things first. For now, I need to at least sort out Hanako and make sure that she's actually eating okay.

The occasional passing students give badly hidden glances at the plate of food I carry to the female dormitories. It's hardly a meal to be proud of, only being an instant microwave meal from the convenience store, but it should at least fill her up. Eventually I arrive outside of her room, after having to ward off a couple of girls who jokingly tried to pilfer the food I'd taken so long to procure. I decide to forgo knocking, since it was proven to be an utterly useless measure and it's somewhat difficult to do with my hands full.

HISAO: "Hanako, it's Hisao. I know you're listening. I got some food for you."

Silence. As I expected.

HISAO: "I'll leave it beside your door. Please eat it at least, okay?"

"There. I've said my piece. Now it's up to her. Putting the plate down, I walk back to my own room to eat my dinner. By the time I return to Hanako's dormitory, a good hour's passed. Thankfully, there isn't anything to be seen beside her door. I walk back at least somewhat happier that she's eating. If she intends to get through this by herself, then being able to help, even if it's just in such a small way, is at least something.

Katawa Shoujo OST ~ Passing of Time

Katawa Shoujo OST - Stride

I sit reading in the library after school, turning page after page, barely registering the words written on each out of sheer boredom. With my cheek resting in my hand, I can't help noticing the slightly rough feeling against my palm. It won't be long before I'll need to get a razor. Giving up on reading, I simply let my head drop onto the book in front of me.

Things have quieted down considerably since Hanako began attending school again. When she first returned to class, nothing was said nor done that wasn't part of the usual routine, and it's been the same way since. Neither of us desired to bring up her accident, so there simply wasn't any point in pursuing it. Thus a few days went by, the daily grind continuing just as it had before. It's only natural that my mind would wander to other places, and more importantly, other people. The Lilly-shaped hole in the daily life of Hanako and I has been pretty noticeable for a while now. I'd be pleased to say that this has allowed me time to refine just what my thoughts on her exactly are, but alas, I've had no such luck. It doesn't help that many attempts to do so have led to the troublesome topic of Iwanako. Every time my thoughts drift into that direction, I reflexively try to think about something else.

HISAO: "Why did this have to happen now..."

"Um..."

I turn and look up to the source of the tentative voice coming from behind me.

HISAO: "Ah, sorry. I didn't mean to disturb anyone."

"That's... not it."

HISAO: "Ah..."

I glance around the orange-tinted room, quickly realizing how silly my apology must have sounded. In the time I've spent thinking and lazing about in here, everyone's well and truly left.

HISAO: "Library closing?"

"If you don't want to go, I could keep it open a bit longer. It's no trouble at all."

HISAO: "Don't worry, I should get going anyway. Thanks."

As I get up and begin to move off, I feel Yuuko's eyes drilling into my back.

HISAO: "Is there something wrong?"

"You look depressed. Are you okay?"

Yuuko nervously twists her fingers as she says this, unsure whether she's overstepping her boundaries or not. I really can't tell if she's more worried about my mood or about bothering me. Normally I'd just shrug it off and assure her that I'm fine, but my reflective mood gets the better of me. Despite being staff, she really doesn't feel as much like an authority figure as the others.

HISAO: "It's just... I guess the best term for it would be relationship problems."

"Oh. I'm... not too good with that kind of thing. My only relationship ended a bit abruptly. But if you want to talk about it, I mean, I could listen. I think."

Now I feel kind of bad for bringing it up. She's not that old, though, so at least she has a good chance of finding another partner.

HISAO: "It isn't like we're in a bad situation right now. We have spent many days together as friends, sometimes going out to do stuff... that kind of thing. But I'm starting to want to do more for her, learn more about her, and be with her more. I'm not sure whether it's actually love or not, though, and our friendship as it stands is enjoyable.

"You shouldn't let that stop you! Ah... sorry. How to say this... um... I think that it's nice that you have a good friendship, but school is going to eventually end. Do you think you'll be fine with not knowing if it could have gone further after you've graduated?"

HISAO: "I guess that's the crux of the problem. I really have no idea what the answer to that question is."

"Well, I can't really help there. What your true feelings are is something you have to decide for yourself. But I think that if you do love her, you should definitely say something. After thinking about it really hard, I decided that even though my relationship didn't work out, it's still better that way than never knowing if it might have or not."

I never expected Yuuko to sound so wise. It only makes sense that, with more life experience than I, she'd have a better idea about this. While I suppose not very much was actually answered, talking to her has helped get it off my chest, and I have no doubt that I should confess if I really do like Lilly. I give a slightly frustrated sigh.

HISAO: "If only reading so much actually helped when it comes to situations like this."

She gives a girlish giggle, which only reinforces my view of her as being different from the usual staff here.

(Silence)

In the end, it all comes down to what will happen after school finishes once again. Considering what happened before I came to Yamaku, it feels like being asked to keep up with a field of runners despite having started from a dozen yards behind them. It's just one more motive to move on from the past. The last thing I need right now is to get too caught up in that and getting homesick while I'm at it.

Once again, I find myself calling Lilly. My phone bill is going to be horrific, considering this is international. But it's worth it. I don't only want to smooth over her feelings from the last time I called, I genuinely want to talk to her again. When the phone finally picks up, I easily recognize the voice on the other end.

HISAO: "<Hello, Mrs. Satou. May I... uh... speak...>"

drat. I've forgotten how the rest is supposed to go. It's not encouraging to forget such a small amount of words, even if I didn't spend that long trying to memorize them.

HISAO: "May I speak with Lilly, please?"

MRS. SATOU: "Hello again, Hisao. Are you teaching yourself English?"

HISAO: "Just a little. I don't think I'm too good at languages in general."

MRS. SATOU: "Oh, don't say that. Your pronunciation was good! I'll get Lilly for you, just wait a moment."

I obediently wait as she goes off in search of Lilly, the other end going silent. Eventually a much more awake-sounding Lilly than last time answers, the time over there being past noon by now.

Katawa Shoujo OST - Comfort

LILLY: "Hisao, are you there?"

HISAO: "Yeah, I'm here. Hi."

LILLY: "Good afternoon. Sorry for taking so long, I was outside in the garden."

HISAO: "Gardening?"

LILLY: "Unfortunately I've found I'm no good at it, so I just smell the flowers. I think my fingers appreciate it more. I take it Hanako's recovered a bit?"

HISAO: "Yeah. I just made sure she was eating, and eventually she righted herself. Thanks for the help the other day."

LILLY: "I don't think I was really that much help. The main thing is that she's better, though."

HISAO: "True. How's life over there, then? It sounds like you've been living in nothing short of a mansion."

LILLY: "I wouldn't call it a mansion..."

�But it is rather large� is obviously what she wants to say, though modesty stops her. I'm a little envious, but it is her holiday.

LILLY: "It's a nice house to stay in, though. There's a beach near here too, which Akira's especially fond of."

HISAO: "She's a swimmer?"

LILLY: "She's constantly dragging me there to have swimming competitions. Which she wins. Every time."

Lilly doesn't strike me as very athletic at all, so not being adept at swimming seems logical enough. The fastest I've ever seen her move is her understandably relaxed pace during her walks to and from the suburbs down the hill from the school. It makes the image of her swimming hard to imagine.

HISAO: "The beaches there must look nice. They'd be less crowded than the ones around here at least."

LILLY: "Indeed, Akira says the area around here looks beautiful because it's so far outside the city."

I only realize what I've said after I say it, but it doesn't bother her at all. It's still easy to forget that she can't see when she's not around, despite the time we've been friends.

LILLY: "That said, the local accent sometimes makes communication a bit hard. It's a constant reminder that this isn't home."

While the fact that she doesn't consider her parents' residence to be her home makes good sense, it makes me realize that I can't really answer whether the same goes for me. Graduation from Yamaku is distant enough to be difficult to view objectively, and I've spent so much time in this small room. I've come to accept the dormitory as my new home surprisingly quickly.

HISAO: "I guess that would be hard to deal with. Is your knowledge of English holding up?"

LILLY: "Thankfully. I may be fluent, but being in a position where I have to use it often helps in curbing my Japanese accent, so it's been useful practice. I hear you're trying to teach yourself English?"

HISAO: "More like memorizing a few lines, and failing at even that much. I'm really not cut out for learning another language."

My admission of defeat draws an amused giggle.

LILLY: "I believe that there are things one chooses to do in life, and also things that are chosen for one to do in life. You can take comfort in the fact you're better than me in science and math, at least."

HISAO: "All that's helped in is making me Mutou's star student..."

LILLY: "I wouldn't worry about it. They're useful skills for many jobs, right?"

HISAO: "That's what he tells me. His face veritably lit up when I said I'd probably go into a career involving either."

We both share a warm laugh at the events that have befallen each other on opposite ends of the world. It's nice, and reminds me of our simple smalltalk that I've been missing since she left. As each of us waits for the other to begin speaking, I decide to push ahead with my feelings. I can feel my throat tightening slightly.

HISAO: "We... um, I... miss you."

The silence on the other end of the phone tells me she's given the words their due weight, but as it goes on I can't help feeling more and more apprehensive. Thankfully the silence ends, almost as quickly as it had begun.

LILLY: "I miss you too, Hisao. Goodbye."

HISAO: "Goodbye, Lilly."

Once again, the phone is hung up; simply and without any further ado.

(Silence)

That light, tentative, almost shy voice. Her warm and soft tone... I'd simply be lying to myself if I were to say that I don't recognize this feeling for what it is. With thoughts of Lilly dancing on my mind, I start anticipating her return.

Today has been a most excellent day.

Katawa Shoujo OST ~ Passing of Time

(Silence)

I sit listening to another of Mutou's long-winded lectures, my mind wandering far from the scribbles on the dirty blackboard.

Katawa Shoujo OST - Afternoon

Since I called Lilly, my mind's been drawn in two directions. Both, roughly, lead to the same conclusion; I've started to feel oddly detached from my past life. It's only been a month and a half since I arrived here, yet this school's become a second home. I've gained new friends and contacts, managed to get to grips with the school's lifestyle and culture, and become accustomed to the quirks of my classmates. To become used to a school where disabilities are the norm, rather than the rare exception, still catches me off guard sometimes when I think on it. The same school that's populated by burn victims, amputees, the blind, the deaf and all manner of disabilities inbetween. If someone had described this school to me before I'd come, I'd have shrugged it off as an overactive imagination. Even when I first arrived I felt like the Dutch, coming to this strange new land for the first time. It's amazing how quickly one becomes used to the environment they're forced to live in, really.

And now I've even found someone that's got me entirely smitten. What a strange life.

Before my mind can wander any further, though, I find a page of lined paper slipped under my distracted face. The garish, bright pink ink has no doubt been penned by Misha.

Misha�s note posted:

Don't look so bored, Hicchan! School's nearly over! Three-day holiday!

Oh, right, we get Saturday and Monday off. Can't complain about having less school, I suppose. I uncap my pen and scribble on the page before covertly passing it back to her, flicking my eyes to the front of the class every now and then. Mutou continues scrawling away arcane equations and formulas on the board.

Note posted:

I'm guessing you have something planned?

Misha takes the paper back and hunches over it comically, even for her, with her tongue poking through the side of her mouth. Did she misinterpret my expression as depressed, and is she trying to cheer me up?

Misha�s note posted:

Student council work with Shicchan, of course.

Note posted:

You're not still brooding over that, surely?

Misha�s note posted:

But Hicchan could have helped us poor, lonely girls.

Note posted:

I'd lend you a hand for today if I weren't going to be busy.

Misha�s note posted:

Ooh, naughty naughty Hicchan!

Note posted:

I'm just going to meet Lilly with Hanako. I don't know what you've got going through your head.

Misha�s note posted:

So Lilly's back?

Note posted:

Yeah, she's coming on the evening flight with her sister, so she'll be back in school next week.

(Silence)

She suddenly stops writing as his tall figure casts an impossibly long shadow over the page.

MISHA: "Ah... I..."

He silently takes the piece of paper from her and begins to read. Sweating bullets, I quickly glance around the class, noting their complete silence. Of course, it would just have to be the one thing that actually gets their attention during the lesson. After a scant few seconds examining the page, he rolls the paper up into a small tube and lightly bops Misha over the head with it.

MUTOU: "Half an hour until you can hop off to the Student Council. I think you can hold on until then."

Katawa Shoujo OST - Ease

Misha's face cracks as the entire class erupts into laughter. He might well be awkward, but he knows how to handle her excellently. I'd probably feel sorry for her if I weren't as busy stifling my own laughter.

HANAKO: "Hisao, is that one it?"

HISAO: "No, I think that's some foreign airline."

And so, the third aircraft they're not on comes in to land. For the past half hour we've been whiling away the time with small snippets of pointless chatter. Lilly and Akira's flight has been delayed, and at this rate it'll probably be dark before their plane arrives.

HANAKO: "Is that one it?"

HISAO: "No, the company colors are wrong."

Hanako's eyes flutter left and right, following the trickle of people in and out of the huge glass doors ahead of us. Fortunately nobody pays her much heed, their attention apparently directed towards greater things.

HANAKO: "Maybe that one is it?"

HISAO: "No, I think that's... hold on a minute, I think that one might be it after all."

It takes still some more time before the billboard changes their flight's status to �disembarking.� A loud yawn sneaks up on me, not allowing enough time to stifle it. My sleep patterns have, once again, been all over the place; likely due to a mix of worrying about Hanako and the side-effects of my medications.

HANAKO: "Hisao, over there..."

I look to Hanako, then follow her gaze to the airport door.

AKIRA: "Hmm? Oh, Lilly, they're here!"

LILLY: "Really?"

We all call out to each other in greeting, quickly shuffling over to the side to avoid blocking the passage of others.

HANAKO: "Lilly!"

Hanako jumps forward to hug Lilly, a wide smile on her face being all that's needed to see her happiness at Lilly's return. Lilly simply smiles in return, her voice soft.

LILLY: "It's wonderful to meet you again, Hanako."

As the two give each other a hug, well deserved after all that's happened while she was gone, I turn to Akira.

AKIRA: "Yo."

HISAO: "You're pretty late."

AKIRA: "Yeah, there was a really bad storm over the airport. We got drenched just going from the car to the door."

HISAO: "I guess you'll appreciate the weather here more, then. Welcome back to you too, Lilly."

Hanako breaks off from Lilly as I speak.

(Silence)

For a long time, neither of us says a word. Contrary to what I'd thought her homecoming would be like, the atmosphere feels awkward, almost stifling. Both of us try to guess each other's feelings, not quite sure about what should be said.

drat. This is exactly what I feared when I'd thought of trying to move things forward between us. Lilly runs her hand through her fair hair and awkwardly twirls one of her bangs in her fingers, clearly trying to think of how best to react. Eventually, thankfully, Lilly gives a small sigh and breaks the silence.

Katawa Shoujo OST - Concord (Lilly�s Theme)

LILLY: "Thank you, Hisao. It's nice to be back."

HANAKO: "Are you okay? You look tired."

Evidently not recollecting herself all that well, she quickly waves her hand in front of her face to stave off any concern Hanako may have over her.

LILLY: "I'm okay, really. It's just a bit of jet lag."

AKIRA: "Weak."

HISAO: "You don't have any?"

She simply gives a big grin, puffing out her modest chest.

AKIRA: "I feel absolutely fine!"

LILLY: "That's not fair..."

AKIRA: "Haha, ah well. Ya shouldn't take too long to get rid of it."

LILLY: "Ah! That's right, Hisao?"

HISAO: "Yeah?"

LILLY: "Don't we have a holiday from school soon?"

# ? Jan 28, 2022 15:44

Dareon: Apr 6, 2009; by vyelkin

Falconier111 posted:

While Hanako exchanges nervous greetings, I look around the room for my short and overdressed next-door neighbor. Try as I might, he seems to have slipped out of the classroom without anyone noticing. For a moment I try to think of possible career paths that could reasonably benefit from his single skill, before putting my mind to more pertinent matters.

Middle manager.

# ? Jan 29, 2022 01:20

Cobalt-60: Oct 11, 2016; by Azathoth

So we accidentally dodged a problem, having Hanako's not-birthday party early.

# ? Jan 29, 2022 07:55

Falconier111: Jul 18, 2012; S T A R M E T A L C A S T E

Disability Corner: Right Temporoparietal Junction Underlies Avoidance of Moral Transgression in Autism Spectrum Disorder

I�m working on a disability corner on medical ableism right now, but that�s a massive topic that takes time. It was also getting kinda long, so I decided to split part of it off to look at it independently: it�s been too long since we�ve had one of these, anyway.

I�ve talked in the past about ableism in the sciences and how it twists research, especially back in the euphemism disability corner. I could talk about evolving theories of mentation or bias in the scientific establishment or how the medical establishment shuts out the communities it tries to help. Lots to cover. But I�m staring out my window at a melting snowdrift and I have very specific feelings about this time of year. So instead, let�s take a look at this study, and this article dissecting it (as linked by thread stalwart Dareon). Long story short, two groups of participants (one autistic, one not) were put in a room with brainscanning machinery and an audience and asked a couple questions: would you give money to support an initiative helping children in need, or would you accept money for supporting an initiative that kills random animals? The amounts involved and the size of the audience varied from person to person. Each participant got to choose whether to go for one, both, or neither proposition in front of the audience, then to answer those same questions in private; they were told one set of answers would be selected at random and that money would actually be distributed. The scientists got plenty of data from it, but they focused on the fact that while non-autistic participants often changed their minds about supporting the negative cause in private, autistic participants almost never did. The scientists then ran the data they got by scanning participants� brains during the process through some cognitive modeling software and found those decisions were probably made in a specific part of the brain, hinting at differences in how that area functions in autistic and non-autistic people. From what I can tell, it�s a fine study � aside from how it frames the entire thing as an exercise in measuring morality (by name) like their analysis is objective.

Yeah, helping kids and hurting animals are pretty clearly good and bad respectively, but they still don�t justify why they used those choices � and �it seems pretty clear� isn�t a good basis for scientific investigation. I scoured that article: the authors never define �moral�. They cite plenty of OTHER papers that measure morality in autistic people, but most of those don�t justify how they define it either. It�s not like people haven�t been debating what is and isn�t moral for thousands of years to the tune of intercontinental warfare, you can�t get by not defining such an inherently controversial term if you plan on using it in your analysis. That goes double for when you�re talking about any oppressed group, since as horrible as it is you�ll find people arguing against any moral behavior towards that group. It goes triple if that term is fundamental to your study � and it IS fundamental: the word �moral� shows up just about every time the paper wants to make a point or describe a key concept. But there�s nothing. The authors are content to imply they�re morally objective.

This probably seems like a relatively small thing to seize on like this. It�s just a word, right? Plus, they call on like half a dozen other peer-reviewed papers talking about morality, which means even if they didn�t directly define what they thought of as moral, their drawing on the work of people who did and got tested by their peers for it. And it�s not like the morality involved is terribly complicated. If the rest of the paper wasn�t morally questionable, that would be believable. The language immediately jumps out, ranging from labeling non-autistic participants �healthy controls� and consistently referring to autistic behavior as �atypical�. Double points for calling every example of autistic moral decision-making that differed from the norm �atypical morality�. That was surface level. I want to go deeper.

Right Temporoparietal Junction Underlies Avoidance of Moral Transgression in Autism Spectrum Disorder posted:

However, it should be noted that evidence also exists, revealing that ASD individuals may preserve some degree of ToM [Theory of Mind] ability to guide their intent-based moral judgments.

Theory of mind, by the way, describes the ability to envision what other people are thinking, basically to conceive of them as separate people. Man, I hope we preserve some theory of mind, otherwise that�s like a quarter of the thread out the window. This paper was published in 2021, by the way, and it kicks off its first sentence by identifying a deficient theory of mind as a core component of autism spectrum disorder. The latest evidence this paper had of anyone directly pushing that narrative was from 2011, based on a hypothesis forwarded in 1985. It has since been disproven. Twice. This is not a slow-moving field! Why are you basing your analysis on something out of date? That�s a recurring problem in this paper: it draws on plenty of research from the last few years, but the theories it uses the frame that research all date before 2013. Possibly coincidentally, that�s when people actually started doing studies that treated autistic people as participants instead of voiceless test subjects. No acknowledgment of that concept here, not in theory of mind or any number of other assumptions. The paper is incredibly disdainful of the people it�s trying to study. It consistently treats its subjects like puppets of moral instincts as much as independent actors, constrained by the bounds of their programming to avoid actions they would otherwise take.

The end result? Here�s how they end their significance statement:

Right Temporoparietal Junction Underlies Avoidance of Moral Transgression in Autism Spectrum Disorder posted:

Here, we show that ASD individuals are more inflexible when following a moral rule although an immoral action can benefit themselves, and experience an increased concern about their ill-gotten gains and the moral cost. Moreover, a selectively reduced rTPJ representation of information concerning moral rules was observed in ASD participants. These findings deepen our understanding of the neurobiological roots that underlie atypical moral behaviors in ASD individuals.

Did you catch how it describes �inflexible when following a moral rule� as �atypical moral behavior�? That�s not a statement you can just leave hanging, guys, it�s a hornet�s nest of implications you need to take into account. Is this paper really trying to imply that autistic people are inherently morally superior to the general population? That�s the kind of value judgment I thought science was trying to get out of the business of making (and it isn�t one I agree with), but that�s what the data here says. This is the kind of study people use out of context to fight the culture wars with, but its authors completely missed that because they were too busy pathologizing autism. It exclusively framed the decisions of its autistic participants as negative without accounting for what those negative decisions actually mean, stopping the moment it dubbed that behavior atypical. Once it was deemed atypical, that behavior was directly assigned to dysfunction in the part of the brain where the decisions were made. And so, the paper implies not only that moral integrity is due to brain dysfunction, but recommends investigation into that part of the brain in order to suppress it.

See, I mentioned in a previous disability corner that ableism can turn scientific research into a spectacle, and this is what I mean: by not checking their biases and just following them to their natural conclusion, these scientists managed to recommend making their patients worse people. That�s an Onion headline, not sober scientific analysis. Hell, this is a Big Pharma conspiracy theorist�s holy grail, isn�t it? It identifies moral behavior, portrays it negatively, and recommends research into �correcting� it. If you wanted prove medical science was out to control people, it would make natural ammunition. Like, I don�t want to overstate what this paper recommends: it says �this is where in the brain these decisions happen, we should consider more research� and stops. Nobody�s promoting lobotomies here. They aren�t even recommending treatment, really, they�re just pointing out a difference in brain function between a group of neurodivergents and neurotypicals. The issue, and the spectacle, comes in how they portray that conclusion.

By not defining the concept in anything but the broadest of terms, the people who ran this study must have thought they were staying as objective as possible when it came to something both as fuzzy and as important as morality. That�s fair. They also picked causes that they felt wouldn�t be to up for debate; maybe you could argue the foundation helping kids was corrupt, maybe you could argue the foundation killing animals was performing a tragic but necessary service somehow, but you can bet on those objections being too rare to interfere with what you�re actually after. They didn�t realize the real moral issues they were about to tangle with lay somewhere else entirely.

I don�t know if they all missed all those publications or were too lazy to double check or were just searingly ableist, but nobody running this thing understood their biases. No consideration of evolving understandings around autism and empathy. No engagement with the literature that disputed the very basis of their analysis � I�m not talking them dismissing it, I mean they literally did not mention disagreement on the topic existed in their article. No attempt to run this by anyone who could tell how screamingly bizarre parts of their analysis were. There are two comments on the paper in the journal�s website: the first is from an autistic person a month before it was published that lays out everything I said here, and one from the editors saying �concerns had been raised� and promising revisions before release. I found a Twitter thread reacting to an early version and had to go down 30 replies before I found something that wasn�t �this paper is saying being good is bad if you�re autistic, isn�t it?� It was still published in its current form less than a year ago, and since then it�s been cited in five other papers. There�s no pushback, there�s no acknowledgment that anything is wrong. The disconnect is complete.

# ? Jan 29, 2022 23:37

SimplyUnknown1: Aug 18, 2017; Cat Cat Cat

Morality is something I find more palatable in fiction than in real life. In fiction, it's usually really interesting to have people with various moralities clashing and trying to work together. It can even create some really interesting antagonists who feel they're doing the morally correct thing and thus see themselves as heroic to our protagonist's villainy. But in real life, it just tends to cause a lot of problems. The thing about morals is that while people can say that killing is wrong, there can always be a situation where killing someone could be considered justified. Like, if a man is about to set off a bomb that will kill a lot of people and the only option is to kill him to save those people, I could understand someone taking a shot.

There's always going to be someone who takes a statement someone makes and twists it around until they find a situation that forces the speaker to think really hard about their own morals, even if it's something that's almost completely unlikely to happen. As for the paper itself...I'm just not sure why they were researching this topic in the first place. Like, the first thing I'm not looking at is the moral choice. What I'm seeing is that neuroatypical people are apparently less likely to provide different answers to questions regardless of how public/private their answer will be and neurotypical people apparently are more affected by stuff like that. Or maybe there's something else entirely going on that I'm not seeing! Who knows?

In all honesty, that paper just made me mad. They take something that sounds good and then twist it to make it horrible.

# ? Jan 30, 2022 04:10

Tulip: Jun 3, 2008; yeah thats pretty good

SimplyUnknown1 posted:

The thing about morals is that while people can say that killing is wrong, there can always be a situation where killing someone could be considered justified. Like, if a man is about to set off a bomb that will kill a lot of people and the only option is to kill him to save those people, I could understand someone taking a shot.

I mean, there's a reason that moral philosophy is a tradition that is literally as old as writing (which implies to me that it is older than writing) and has never conclusively abandoned fundamental questions. Is it killing is wrong, or is it the number of people killed that determines the wrongness? What if you go more fine grained and start calculating how long the people killed might live? What about their quality of life? Or back up - is inaction morally distinct from action, like is letting a person drown morally equivalent to actively drowning them or is it totally different?

I'm not bringing this up because I have answers about those questions in general (I have opinions but I am not confident that I could move somebody else's opinion), but to highlight the intellectual failing on display. Because stripped of the moral angle, what that paper is discussing is that people with ASD have lower variation in their stated behavior than neurotypical subjects with change in degree of observation. I am not a psychologist so I cannot tell you if that qualifies as interesting or novel, but it's something and I'm not going to contest whether or not its a real observation.

The morality element is...truly weird. They're making two totally different types of moral claim. They have one approach to morality, that taking moneys to hurt animals bad and giving money to help children good. This is done entirely on intuitive grounds, and taken as rules. It is a good moral rule to help the innocent, it is a bad moral rule to enrich yourself at the expense of innocents. They expect that their audience accepts that these are moral claims that do not need to be interrogated.

Later on is where they produce a problem so basic that functionally everyone notices. They make the actual moral argument, that being less variant is bad. More directly, their argument is that being further from the "average" behavior is bad. Put another way, they tested subjects on morality in a rules-based universe, and then advanced their arguments in a popularity-based universe. They, and their presumptive audience, are thus placed in a totally different moral realm from their test subjects (neurotypical or not).

Which is basically why this paper jut kind of instantly raises the hackles of so many people: they collected data on behavior and some stuff on brain patterns, and then made two different types of moral philosophy argument. It's a mess and to me speaks to the just outrageous hubris that is so typical of scientistic thinking.

# ? Jan 30, 2022 05:38

Karia: Mar 27, 2013; Self-portrait, Snake on a Plane
Oil painting, c. 1482-1484
Leonardo DaVinci (1452-1591)

Reading through this paper, I'm utterly baffled. Yeah, the conclusions and language are poo poo as has already been discussed, but the analysis choices and study design seem... questionable? To be fair, I'm in engineering so I'm not familiar with neuroscience modelling: maybe this is entirely reasonable. But I have both published in and reviewed papers for peer-reviewed journals, and to me it looks like they're performing some extremely complex analysis on a limited data set drawn from a fairly small number of participants. They then present those analyses in a way that obfuscates the actual data. And all of that is on top of a couple of frankly baffling study design decisions.

Please take all the following with a grain of salt. Again, this is not my field of study: while I can critique obvious errors in scientific method I am not qualified to make fun of them for anything neuroscience related. It's also getting absurdly late, I'm tired, and this post scope-creeped out of control. I also want to emphasize that regardless of everything I am about to say the paper is bullshit. As has already been discussed: it's neurocentric, it's obviously biased, it's based on old and disproven research. Analyzing every single sentence and figure is not necessary: you can safely ignore it (and the entire rest of this post) without losing anything of value. But with all of that said: I am severely unimpressed with this paper's scientific rigor.

First, how are the study participants presented with the choice? Well, the whole point of the study is to evaluate how moral choices differ in public or private, so presumably they'll do one test while the person's alone and another while they're in front of the test organizers, right? Nope. At the beginning of the test, the participant is introduced to an "independent observer" who they are told will be observing from the control room during the Public condition trials. During the trial, the test participant is presented with one of these four images (with money values filled in randomly: more on this in a second). The eyes indicate it's a Public trial, while the lock indicates a Private trial. After they select an option, there's also a slight difference: if it's a Public trial, the chosen option gets highlighted to emphasize it and reinforce the idea of a witness, but in a Private trial, there's no visible feedback. Then it jiggles the screen around for a couple seconds to signal that the trial is over.

... Huh. I have questions. So, just to start with, a question: are the study participants actually alone? Is there a lab tech in the room monitoring the MRI? That's not specified. Nor is it specified if the control room is visible to participants, if there's a window that they can see the observer through, if there's a visible camera watching them, or so on. Again, I'm a layperson in this field, but it seems like there are a lot of alternative hypotheses which the authors probably should have falsified, such as:
* Participants with ASD may feel social pressure to make the "moral" choice because of the lab tech's presence, even though they are not explicitly observing them.
* If there isn't a lab tech in the room, then participants with ASD may not trust the independent observer not to watch them during the private trials, and thus feel social pressure regardless.
* Participants with ASD feel no pressure whatsoever from a remote observer, and thus their behavior is unchanged regardless of whether they're in a public or private trial.
* ASD renders participants incapable of noticing small jpeg images of eyes and locks so they couldn't tell if the test was supposed to be public or private.

Any one of those could fit the data, and the onus is on the authors to falsify those hypotheses. They cite a couple studies which say that this study design (using subtle cues to demarcate public/private situations) is effective and acceptable, but neither of their sources looked at people with ASD. Given that the whole point of the study is to prove that people with ASD behave differently in public/private situations than people without ASD, maybe they should have started by proving that the people with ASD actually noticed the difference!

Ok, that was a bit harsh. They actually collected a lot more data than just if the participants accepted or rejected the proposal, maybe there's something there that really justifies what they're trying to do. First, they measured the amount of time that participants took to reach a conclusion. So maybe something showed up there that really helps prove their point (spoiler: I don't think there is: the data do not look conclusive). They also did MRI analysis to study a couple parts of the brain and see where decisions were getting made. That's where the paper title comes from, and sure, maybe there's something there, I know nothing about MRIs and can't provide any interpretation there. But the one I want to talk about is how they they varied the amount of money they offer to participants and the organizations, with a total of 8 options for each. Between all Moral Contexts (helping children/killing kittens) and Audiences (public/private), that means there were a total of 256 different options. But wait! They only had 48 total participants, of which 20 had ASD! And four of those (two ASD, two control) were omitted from the analysis (for reasons that seem valid. I won't ding them for that. But that's 8% of their dataset down the drain!) So how could they have 256 options? Simple: each participant did every single one of those 256 options, broken up into four 35 minute sessions, with each session looking at one of the four combinations of Moral Context and Audience. The order of the sessions, and the order of the questions in the session was randomized. Participants were told that the money given to them and the organizations would be based on one randomly-selected choice per session: the other 63 sessions would be ignored.

Yup. Each participant spent more than two hours at the computer getting presented with random combinations of prices and saying whether they'd take the deal, and were specifically told that 63 of the 64 answers they'd give were irrelevant. This... doesn't seem like good science. It seems like a way to generate a very large dataset very quickly without needing to think about it too hard. Which is what the authors did. They then fed that data set into a dizzying array of different mathematical analyses (sure, I get doing ANOVA and regression analysis. But what the hell are you doing with Bayesian updating using MCMC?) in order to draw conclusions. What conclusions? Well, given the sheer number of different analysis methods they tried, I suspect they could get drat well any conclusion they want. All based on a total of 48 people staring at this for two hours each.

I can try to dive more into the data and analytical methods if people want. They're bad (one of the figures has an obvious scale error which makes it nigh-upon uninterpretable), and it could be mildly amusing. But given how utterly morally and scientifically bankrupt this paper is on the face of it, it doesn't really seem necessary to "debunk" it. Again, I'm a layperson: I study engineering, not neuroscience, and maybe this is just how poo poo is done there. It got accepted through peer-review, after all! But in my judgement: this isn't good science, and there isn't a compelling need to engage with it on a scientific level.

Except maybe there is. As Falconier noted, it's gotten eight citations it's gotten so far:
* One is critical of this work.
* One is a book I don't have access to and can't check.
* One is a personal work of creative non-fiction, which was published in a peer-reviewed journal, which seems slightly incredulous about the results.
* One's some sort of report on a genomics project? I doubt it's been peer-reviewed.
* One examines the impediments that ASD causes by interviewing people with ASD. They cite Hu et al in the intro mostly to say "hey, the lab research on how ASD affects people is pretty mixed. Why not ask them about their experiences?"
* The other three are large review papers that cite a bunch of recent research. These are dangerous not because they trumpet the results (they each give maybe a sentence to it), but because these sorts of review papers are how researchers stay up-to-date. Some new grad student is going to see one of these review papers and find the Right Temporoparietal Junction blah blah blah paper, and then try to build off of it.

So maybe there's some danger of this thing getting traction. Or maybe it already has. I'm not familiar with this area of study, but papers rarely stand alone: they usually build on existing research, and there are generally multiple researchers moving in the same direction at the same time. Falconier noted that this was building on an awful debunked theory: maybe there's more out there. That's a depressing thought. This was more than I was intending to write. I need to go to bed.

# ? Jan 30, 2022 08:45

HomestarCanter: Oct 21, 2008; Strong Bad,
you're a horse's twees.

Falconier111 posted:

RIN: "The butterfly is her accomplice."

HISAO: "The butter..."

As I glance around, sure enough, a small yellow butterfly floats across my field of vision.

HISAO: "So tell me, how did this butterfly help Lilly �steal� this spot?"

RIN: "It scouted out our conversation and told her."

I should've known better than to expect sound reasoning from Rin. Regardless, I guess it wouldn't hurt to play along.

HISAO: "You're telling me she can talk to butterflies?"

RIN: "There are people who can talk to horses, called horse whisperers. Lilly must be a butterfly whisperer."

I bury my head in my hands as Emi rounds on her strange companion. She doesn't seem to share Rin's sense of humor.

Shut up and embrace the absurdity already!

Falconier111 posted:

Hanako withers noticeably when exposed to the din being made around Lilly. Try as she might, I doubt she'll ever completely get over her social anxiety.

And try as you might, I doubt you'll ever completely get over your heart condition.

I know he's still learning and getting used to this kind of thing, but it still bothers me when he says and thinks this kind of thing

Falconier111 posted:

HISAO: "In that case... I think it would use the -ane suffix?"

Someone's studying organic chemistry!

Want to hear the shortest org chem joke? "Methene."
Thank you, I'm here all week.

# ? Jan 30, 2022 17:47

Falconier111: Jul 18, 2012; S T A R M E T A L C A S T E

Karia posted:

Reading through this paper, I'm utterly baffled. Yeah, the conclusions and language are poo poo as has already been discussed, but the analysis choices and study design seem... questionable? To be fair, I'm in engineering so I'm not familiar with neuroscience modelling: maybe this is entirely reasonable. But I have both published in and reviewed papers for peer-reviewed journals, and to me it looks like they're performing some extremely complex analysis on a limited data set drawn from a fairly small number of participants. They then present those analyses in a way that obfuscates the actual data. And all of that is on top of a couple of frankly baffling study design decisions.

So maybe there's some danger of this thing getting traction. Or maybe it already has. I'm not familiar with this area of study, but papers rarely stand alone: they usually build on existing research, and there are generally multiple researchers moving in the same direction at the same time. Falconier noted that this was building on an awful debunked theory: maybe there's more out there. That's a depressing thought. This was more than I was intending to write. I need to go to bed.

While research around disability is kind of shaky in general, I picked an autism study because the situation is particularly abysmal: it�s highly politicized, most influential organizations in the field back outdated theories, and there�s so much shoddy science in the history of autism research just to start with standards are lower. The massive for-profit industry around wild autism treatments like applied behavioral analysis and militant autism mommy subculture don�t help either. Basically, to conduct research on autism you have to either throw in with some group (which will expect certain results from you) or try to stay above the fray entirely (which is what this paper tried to do). Trouble is, standards are so low and hunger for certain kinds of research is so high you can rush through hack jobs like this and sell them to journals that know autism research will move copy. I�m not saying there isn�t good autism research out there, there is, but it takes a lot of investigation to separate that from this garbage from something that says ABA has long-term positive effects on children�s mental health.

# ? Jan 30, 2022 21:58

Falconier111: Jul 18, 2012; S T A R M E T A L C A S T E

Update 115: Prelude (Act 3, Scenes 5-6)

Katawa Shoujo OST - Ease

HISAO: "I'd have forgotten if Misha hadn't reminded me this morning. We've got a three-day weekend starting from tomorrow."

Akira playfully bumps her elbow lightly into Lilly's side, grinning.

AKIRA: "Told ya you wouldn't miss it."

HISAO: "You have something planned?"

LILLY: "If neither you nor Hanako are busy..."

HISAO: "I've got no plans, so something to do would be appreciated. Hanako?"

HANAKO: "No, nothing."

LILLY: "That's good. I was thinking we could go to my family's summerhouse for a bit of quiet over the break. We've rarely used it recently, though, so we'd have to dust things off a little while we're there."

HISAO: "Oh? Where is it?"

AKIRA: "Up north, in Hokkaido. The place is practically deserted, so it should be a nice quiet break for you guys."

HISAO: "You're not coming?"

AKIRA: "Nah. Got a little holiday of my own set up with my boyfriend."

I lower my eyes at her, suspicious of her intentions.

HISAO: "It sounds like we're just cleaning up the summerhouse for you."

LILLY: "That's... perhaps a valid conclusion..."

Both of us zero in on Akira, her face somewhat evasive. Looks like we were right.

AKIRA: "That's just a convenient bonus. Really. Me and the guy left it in pretty good condition last we were there, I promise. Now then, I'm outta here."

LILLY: "Already? Akira..."

She quickly turns and walks away, her hand held high.

AKIRA: "See ya in a few days, guys."

Lilly and I can only sigh at her hasty retreat.

HANAKO: "It does sound like it would be a nice place to go."

Lilly gives an enthusiastic nod, taking her carry bag in one hand and placing her other on Hanako's shoulder for guidance as we begin to make our way to the taxi area. After the fracas of the past few days, spending a weekend in the country alone with her and Hanako sounds like a dream.

The more I think about it, the more sure I am. This will be the right time and place to confess my feelings to her.

Katawa Shoujo OST ~ Passing of Time

Katawa Shoujo OST - Daylight

The morning chill wraps itself around my shivering body. I huff into my cupped hands to desperately try and stave off the cold as we mill about on the station platform. Lilly's clothing looks rather ill-suited for the temperature around us. I can only hope it's indicative of what she expects the weather to be like at our destination.

HISAO: "Dammit, Lilly, why'd we have to get here so early?"

LILLY: "Unfortunately the train schedule is against us. The next train to Hokkaido is at two in the afternoon."

HISAO: "Great. Just great."

I pause a moment to wipe some sleep out of my eyes, and Lilly promptly takes advantage of the opening.

LILLY: "Cheer up, Hisao. Once we get there it'll be much warmer."

HISAO: "Why not just take the bullet train? A normal train's going to take hours to get us there, so we may as well take the Shinkansen line as far north as it goes, and just switch at the end."

LILLY: "There's a certain charm to older trains, wouldn't you agree?"

HISAO: "I'd agree if I weren't freezing in the morning cold because we decided to take one."

HANAKO: "I'm... sorry, Hisao."

HISAO: "Sorry? What for?"

HANAKO: "I was... the one who suggested taking a normal train."

Way to make me feel guilty. All I can do is sigh and cover my face with my hand.

HISAO: "It's fine, I'm just grumbling."

LILLY: "My my, Hanako, you needn't shoulder all the blame yourself. Even without your suggestion, I'd still have opted for the same thing."

Thankful for the quick interception from Lilly, I take a quick gander around the station. Aside from us, the train platform's all but deserted, the morning dew settling on the empty benches. I guess no one else was masochistic enough to brave the very early morning. Though if someone was, they'd more than notice the huge bags both Lilly and Hanako brought with them.

HISAO: "Just what did you have to pack into those things, anyway?"

LILLY: "The bags? Hmm..."

She pauses a moment and tilts her head in thought.

LILLY: "A change of clothing, raincoat, underwear, sleepwear, a number of books... I think that's most of it."

HISAO: "You make it sound as if I'm unprepared."

LILLY: "You brought less?"

HISAO: "Underwear and a pack of cards. That's it."

And my pills, but never mind that.

LILLY: "No pajamas?"

HISAO: "drat. I knew I forgot something."

As I ruffle my hair in frustration, Lilly sighs.

LILLY: "There'd be clothes you could use there. Akira still occasionally goes there, after all, and I think some of our parents' clothing is still in storage. I don't think there'll be any problem with you borrowing a set of pajamas, if need be."

HISAO: "Thanks. Still, I don't mind just sleeping in my normal clothing."

LILLY: "For two days?"

HISAO: "Good point."

Not really. Though two days would be borderline, it's more that looking even a little like a slob would be unacceptable while in the presence of two girls. As we leisurely talk on the station platform an announcement sounds from the loudspeakers, loudly heralding our ride's arrival. Looking past Lilly and Hanako, though, the train's still well out of sight. A quick check of my watch is enough to see that it's the one we'll be taking.

HISAO: "The five-thirty train was ours, right?"

LILLY: "Correct."

HISAO: "Either of you want me to take your bags? Mine's not exactly heavy."

LILLY: "My my, that's very gentlemanly of you, Hisao."

HISAO: "Don't accept too reluctantly, now."

As I bend down to pick up Lilly's large bag, I look up to see Hanako picking up hers.

HISAO: "You fine with that?"

A silent nod's the only answer. I'm starting to get the feeling that by the trip's end, I'll be able to count every sentence she said on one hand.

(Silence, Train Sounds)

Lilly and Hanako bob gently in the frame with the rest of the visible train car; the greenery speeds by in the window right to left. :eng101:

With the morning landscape passing by the window and the occasional rattle of the train bumping the carriage around, I try to focus my attention on the aging playing cards held in my hands.

HISAO: "I'll raise you five."

HANAKO: "Um... I..."

She scrunches her face up and leans over to Lilly conspiratorially, the two exchanging a few whispered words. Considering how often this has happened so far, I'm coming to doubt Hanako's grasp of how to play poker. It doesn't seem to disturb Lilly's reading though, her hands flitting over each page with only occasional corrections to account for the train's bumping and rocking. My collection of chess pieces that we're using as chips is steadily growing anyway, so it doesn't really bother me.

Looking around us, our carriage is almost as empty as the station platform we'd waited for the train itself on. Only a handful of people can be seen, looking mostly like tourists and couples on holiday. While the two continue their less than clandestine strategizing, a small boy looks over the seat and stares at me. Hoping he doesn't begin to stare at Hanako, I simply give him a wave and a smile. Thankfully, he retreats back to his seat after finding me far too boring to waste his attention on.

HANAKO: "I'll see you and raise you... another five."

HISAO: "drat, you got me. I fold."

I've been bluffing, and she's caught me. Hanging my head, I push over a large portion of my winnings.

Hanako looks absolutely delighted, and even if Lilly keeps her attention focused on her reading material, I can see the smirk on her face. They're both extremely pleased. For a moment I try to work out what Lilly's reading, but the cover is too faded to read beyond the fact that Roman letters are on it. A pity I can't read the Braille above the printed title.

HISAO: "What're you reading, Lilly? The title looks like it's in English."

LILLY: "That's right. It's �And Then There Were None�, an old British story. I could read it to you if you'd like."

She extends the offer with a grin, obviously in jest.

HISAO: "I think I'll pass, thanks."

Katawa Shoujo OST - Afternoon

After a seemingly endless trip, we finally reach the promised land of the Satou summerhouse. Even after the train trip, the walk up seemed to take forever. Despite my grumblings though, I'd have never guessed the sight that would be in store for us once we traveled that long, deserted road. It looks more like a farmhouse than the everyday house I'd imagined, small in size and surrounded by trees and bushes. An empty expanse of wheat fields and farming land can be seen as we walk up, the fencing only consisting of rickety old wooden planks. It really drives home how far we are from the major cities, and is a sight that feels antithetical to the environment I grew up in. The only thing that doesn't surprise me is its Western styling.

HISAO: "Wow, it's amazing out here..."

HANAKO: "Mm, it's wonderful."

LILLY: "That's nice to hear. While Akira may have said that she's kept the house in reasonable condition, I was worried that we might have different standards of �reasonable.�"

HISAO: "It looks like there isn't another soul for miles. I thought Akira would be the type to keep to the city."

Lilly furrows her brow in thought, seemingly recalling almost forgotten knowledge.

LILLY: "Hmm, from memory there's a small town not too far ahead. Other than that though, this is largely just old farmland. Akira and I stayed in our parents' house which was in the nearest city for a while, but after they left we decided to move into a smaller, more easily maintainable, house."

HISAO: "To find a place like this in Japan nowadays... it's kind of anachronistic."

LILLY: "Well, this town does have quite a bit of history."

I look down the street one last time before getting back to the task at hand.

HISAO: "Shall we go in, then? I'm parched."

HANAKO: "It was a long walk to get here."

Lilly gives an enthusiastic nod, the three of us lugging our bags into the house.

As soon as we set foot inside, Hanako and I start looking around, taking in every detail of where we'll be staying for the next few days. All the artifacts of another's life stopped mid-motion are around the house, such as the television guide lying beside the counter it was on, and pans in the adjoining kitchen still sitting on the stove. It's a strange feeling, really; as if we were stepping into Akira's life for a brief moment, before leaving in a couple of days just as we'd come. Of course, the more mundane reality is that she just hasn't cleaned up after herself that well.

HISAO: "Where should we put our bags?"

LILLY: "I'll show Hanako our bedroom. You can put yours here, if you like."

HISAO: "You mean I don't have the same bedroom as you two?"

Hanako flowers into a full blush as Lilly takes her cheek in her hand.

LILLY: "Oh my, how bold."

You two...

HISAO: "Hold on, if I'm to leave my bags here, where will I be sleeping?"

LILLY: "Well, seeing as we lack a guest bedroom..."

HISAO: "The convertible futon, huh?"

LILLY: "Sorry, Hisao."

I sigh, lamenting my place on the bottom rung of sleeping location priorities.

HISAO: "I guess there's no other choice."

(Silence)

Lilly leaves to show Hanako to their bedroom, so I take a small tour of my surroundings after I drop my bag on the floor. The kitchen, just like the living room, is fairly modest. The rustic nature of the wooden furnishings drives home just how far we are from civilization. Returning to the living room, I decide to try out the television until they get back. With a touch of the remote it immediately flickers to life, apparently set to a news channel. Almost flopping down from exhaustion rather than sitting, I lay back and watch.

And watch.

And watch...

HANAKO: "Hisao..."

(Silence, Night Sounds)

I quickly blink to wake myself up, Lilly and Hanako having returned minus their bags. From the Hokkaido night sky visible outside the windows, it looks like I drifted off to sleep. Looking to the wall-mounted clock, it's already ten.

LILLY: "You've found the television, then."

HISAO: "Yeah. It really does feel nice and homey, here."

LILLY: "I'm glad you like it. You were already out like a light when we came back after unpacking our things, so we didn't have the heart to wake you sooner."

Judging from her giggle, I must sound funny when I sleep. I swiftly decide not to inquire.

HANAKO: "There's some dinner waiting for you in the kitchen..."

Hanako gives a deep yawn, only just remembering to cover her mouth at the last second.

LILLY: "My my, are you tired?"

HANAKO: "Ah, mm. I didn't get much sleep last night."

HISAO: "I'm pretty tired too. It was a long walk up here, and it's getting late."

LILLY: "If that's the case, I suppose we should retire for the night. Good night, Hisao."

HANAKO: "Good night."

HISAO: "'Night."

With that, they quietly turn and walk back to their bedroom. Rubbing my eyes, I sigh. I wonder if I'll be able to get back to sleep after being woken up. I suppose I'll eat something and watch some more TV quietly before going to bed.

Katawa Shoujo OST ~ Passing of Time

(Silence)

HANAKO: "Is he still sleeping?"

LILLY: "I think so."

I'm not. I am, however, incredibly tired.

HANAKO: "It's getting late in the morning..."

I know that.

LILLY: "He likely stayed up to watch television. I could hear it from our bedroom."

Only because I couldn't get to sleep.

HANAKO: "Should we wake him?"

Don't do that, Hanako. Please.

LILLY: "No, we should leave him. I doubt he'd want to be woken early if he didn't get much sleep during the night."

Thank you, Lilly.

LILLY: "Besides, he sounds so peaceful. It would be a shame to wake him when he's like this."

Keep a straight face, Hisao. It is nice she cares so much, though.

HANAKO: "Um..."

LILLY: "Hanako, could you go to the fridge and fish out what's needed to make lunch?"

HANAKO: "All right, just the vegetables and rice?"

LILLY: "Mm, that should be enough. We only need something simple, as we can eat in town later."

Hanako's footsteps on the carpeted floor can be heard, moving away from the living room. As they do, I feel Lilly's hand gently rest on my chest. It takes a titanic effort not to react, but something about her makes me think she knows I'm awake. A long silence passes. The only thought in my mind is of that gentle, outstretched hand laying upon my chest. After an indiscernible amount of time, Lilly withdraws her hand.

LILLY: "Good morning, Hisao."

Katawa Shoujo OST - Raindrops and Puddles

Conceding defeat all too easily, I prop myself up and rub my eyes.

HISAO: "How'd you know?"

LILLY: "Your breathing was off."

While that makes sense, she couldn't have needed that long to work it out. Knowing her hearing, she likely knew before laying her hand on me.

LILLY: "If you want to sleep more, you should really go to bed earlier. I heard the television going long into the night."

HISAO: "Sorry about that. My medications have been interfering with my sleep for a while now. Even if I'm tired I have trouble actually sleeping."

LILLY: "I'm... sorry for bringing it up, Hisao."

I sigh. This is exactly the kind of thing I wish others wouldn't do.

>Address it.
>Wave her off.

:eng101:

I can�t help but feel like Hanako must have at various points on her route. Up to now, most of the times a disability has come up in a choice, it was about someone else. Now, it�s about us. Now Hisao gets to feel what it�s like for someone to fuss over him, and he sure isn�t a fan. We�ve learned over and over again that not addressing and respecting these issues leads to disaster, that owning and acknowledging them is how we get to our happy endings. So let�s do that.

=>Address it.

HISAO: �Come on, you worry about me more than I do at times. It just means I have to sleep a bit longer, that's all."

LILLY: "But still..."

HISAO: "I'd say that I look absolutely fine, but I guess that wouldn't have a lot of meaning for you."

She gives a sigh of consternation before trailing off with an amused chuckle, giving up the point.

LILLY: "If you say so. Please do take care of yourself, Hisao."

HISAO: "Go on, Hanako could use some help."

She moves to protest, but reluctantly acquiesces and disappears into the kitchen, her hand running along the smooth white walls as she slowly walks.

For a while I sit and watch television in an attempt to wake myself a little more, but it's futile. I don't have anything better to do, so I follow Lilly's lead.

As I round the corner, I see Hanako and Lilly, backs turned, quietly cutting food on the granite-colored counter. I am temporarily engrossed as I watch Lilly guiding the knife down carefully with a finger on the cabbage she's cutting, each slice delivered slowly but with precision. She seems a little slow, but considering that she can't see what she's doing it's a small wonder she can cook at all, let alone for both her and Hanako.

HISAO: "Hi Hanako, Lilly. Want any help?"

(Sudden Silence)

LILLY: "Is that Hisa� ah!"

HANAKO: "Oh, 'morning Hisao."

Lilly jerks back in surprise before turning around, her yelp immediately drawing Hanako and I to her side.

HISAO: "What's... ah."

A small trickle of scarlet falls downward from her pale fingertip, the knife having cut just deep enough to draw blood. With the television's sound masking my footsteps, she must not have noticed me coming. To compensate for having to use touch to guide everything she does during cooking, she must need to pay extra attention.

Katawa Shoujo OST - Raindrops and Puddles

HANAKO: "Lilly!"

LILLY: "Don't worry, Hanako. It's just a small wound."

HISAO: "You should still get a band-aid on it, at least until it stops bleeding. First aid stuff would be in the bathroom, right?"

LILLY: "I think so. Will you be okay here, Hanako?"

I frown at how little heed she's paying to herself as Hanako gives a quick, almost automatic, nod.

HANAKO: "It's fine, I can keep making lunch."

An awkward silence reigns as I set the bottle of antiseptic and box of band-aids on the side of the sink, Lilly's finger held out for me to treat. The lid of the bottle comes off with a minimum of resistance, and the small ball of cotton I soak in the liquid stains a pale green.

HISAO: "Okay, hold still. This'll probably hurt a bit."

She gives a small nod as I take hold of her hand to steady it. With all the tenderness I can muster, I gently bring the dampened wad to the small red line.

LILLY: "Ah!"

HISAO: "What? I've barely touched it."

LILLY: "Sorry..."

I give a sigh, both at her reaction and to settle my own nerves. Her pain tolerance is startlingly low.

HISAO: "I would tell you to man up, but I can't really do that."

As she gives a small giggle, I take advantage of her momentary distraction and gently press the cotton against her finger a few times. Thankfully, it's enough to do the job. We both settle somewhat as I bring the band-aid over the tip of her finger, covering the wound while making sure not to get it stuck to her fingernail.

HISAO: "There, finished. You can move now."

Taking her hand from mine, she gently clasps it in the other.

LILLY: "Thank you."

HISAO: "It's no problem. It's the least I can do after causing you to hurt yourself, after all."

She lowers her head slightly at the apology, absentmindedly rubbing her hand in what seems to be embarrassment.

LILLY: "I really don't mind."

(Silence)

Her answer doesn't seem to make much sense, given that what happened is pretty clearly my fault. I can't help grimacing at her, despite the fact that her dainty smile still holds. She must not like being reminded of the limitations her lack of sight imposes on her. It's something I can't possibly fault her for. I've fallen prey to the same kind of feelings before, despite my condition not being nearly as ubiquitous in my life. Neither of us any the happier, we head back to the various smells of cooking food coming from the kitchen.

# ? Jan 31, 2022 16:16

SoundwaveAU: Apr 17, 2018

I really like the group dynamic here. It feels even friendlier than the one from the Hanako route. Just nice and wholesome all around. At least for now, that may change as we get into some kind of drama.

# ? Jan 31, 2022 18:48

Falconier111: Jul 18, 2012; S T A R M E T A L C A S T E

SoundwaveAU posted:

I really like the group dynamic here. It feels even friendlier than the one from the Hanako route. Just nice and wholesome all around. At least for now, that may change as we get into some kind of drama.

I think it�s had more time to develop. I don�t know if anyone ever clarifies how long each route lasts, but I get the impression Hanako�s route took place over less time than Lilly�s.

# ? Feb 1, 2022 18:32

Zore: Sep 21, 2010; willfully illiterate, aggressively miserable sourpuss whose sole raison d�etre is to put other people down for liking the wrong things

Falconier111 posted:

I think it�s had more time to develop. I don�t know if anyone ever clarifies how long each route lasts, but I get the impression Hanako�s route took place over less time than Lilly�s.

You have some events that happen in both that sort of help narrow it down. Like Hanako's birthday and Lilly going on the trip to Scotland which happen much later relatively in Hanako's route than Lilly's but the timeline seems to be intentionally a bit vague.

# ? Feb 1, 2022 18:46

YaketySass: Jan 15, 2019; Blind Idiot Dog

Falconier111 posted:

I think it�s had more time to develop. I don�t know if anyone ever clarifies how long each route lasts, but I get the impression Hanako�s route took place over less time than Lilly�s.

Hanako's route ends while Lilly is still in Scotland. OTOH there are some inconsistencies between some routes (such as when Hisao receives the letter, or when Tanabata is said to take place), so an all-encompassing timeline is more problematic.

# ? Feb 1, 2022 18:51

Falconier111: Jul 18, 2012; S T A R M E T A L C A S T E

YaketySass posted:

Hanako's route ends while Lilly is still in Scotland. OTOH there are some inconsistencies between some routes (such as when Hisao receives the letter, or when Tanabata is said to take place), so an all-encompassing timeline is more problematic.

I remember reading somewhere the entirety of Hanako�s route took place over 6 weeks.

# ? Feb 2, 2022 01:34

Cobalt-60: Oct 11, 2016; by Azathoth

I wonder if this is the same weekend Hisao spent at Shizune's house in her route.

quote:

I can�t help but feel like Hanako must have at various points on her route. Up to now, most of the times a disability has come up in a choice, it was about someone else. Now, it�s about us. Now Hisao gets to feel what it�s like for someone to fuss over him, and he sure isn�t a fan.

That's what feels so different about this route. Hisao hasn't actually done anything, really.

# ? Feb 2, 2022 10:15

Falconier111: Jul 18, 2012; S T A R M E T A L C A S T E

Hot News: another set of job openings in the neurodiversity hiring program have come available. These ones are in Finance (the minimum experience level they�re shooting for is on the level of more than one semester of economics courses in college, and I mean that literally). If you�re interested, shoot me a PM or leave some kind of contact method (i.e. Discord) I can use to reach you in the thread. Edit: I basically dug this out of somewhere that normally wouldn�t approach me, so timing is limited; send me just a confirmation message today or early tomorrow.

Also, somebody post something so I don�t end up posting another update at the bottom of this monstrosity of a page.

Falconier111 fucked around with this message at 18:27 on Feb 2, 2022

# ? Feb 2, 2022 18:02

Tulip: Jun 3, 2008; yeah thats pretty good

OK sure why not. Good luck to goons looking for a finance job!

# ? Feb 2, 2022 18:23

Sindai: Jan 24, 2007; i want to achieve immortality through not dying

Jobs good

LP good

New page good

# ? Feb 2, 2022 18:29

ZevGun: Sep 6, 2011

Falconier111 posted:

Hot News: another set of job openings in the neurodiversity hiring program have come available. These ones are in Finance (the minimum experience level they�re shooting for is on the level of more than one semester of economics courses in college, and I mean that literally). If you�re interested, shoot me a PM or leave some kind of contact method (i.e. Discord) I can use to reach you in the thread. Edit: I basically dug this out of somewhere that normally wouldn�t approach me, so timing is limited; send me just a confirmation message today or early tomorrow.

Is there any sort of location requirement for this one, or is fully remote an option? Cause I might know someone I can pass this along to if remote is viable.

# ? Feb 2, 2022 19:01

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 26, 2024 15:17

Falconier111: Jul 18, 2012; S T A R M E T A L C A S T E

ZevGun posted:

Is there any sort of location requirement for this one, or is fully remote an option? Cause I might know someone I can pass this along to if remote is viable.

Normally, fully remote wouldn�t work. Right now, there�s enough wiggle room that I may be able to swing it. I�ll ask around. Expect an answer in� Two hours?

# ? Feb 2, 2022 19:16

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Let's Play! > 4chan Disability Sensitivity Training: Let's Play Katawa Shoujo!

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