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That question of temporariness is kinda unknowable. My father has to "temporarily" use a walking aid for several years now, and I assume that is the normal progression for people who aren't born disabled.
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Dec 14, 2021 18:37
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I imagine a good word for the temporary form might be "impaired", but that opens another can of worms. Either way, I enjoy the documentary updates a lot and look forward to more. I'd follow a whole thread of it if you kept going after the LP proper.
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Dec 14, 2021 20:57
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Tulip posted:It's a couple reasons ranging from water management to construction but for my money the best reason is car/pedestrian segregation. Cars are already enough of a menace. Yeah, there are a couple no curb roads in my neighborhood, you would not believe how many stupid asshats I see outright drive up on the grass to park for some reason. Gee, thanks for tearing the lawn up for basically no reason, geniuses.
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Dec 14, 2021 22:13
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Falconier111 posted:The interesting question is whether or not they could fairly identity as disabled, knowing they wouldn’t be in a short while. I know a lot of disabled people who’d react negatively to the concept That's fair on the identity front. Usually you'd say something like they are "recovering" rather than "disabled" in the case of an injury/surgery that causes temporary disability that will eventually go away to some degree.
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Dec 15, 2021 04:09
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Y'know, reading threads like this, you almost get the impression that our method of categorizing humans is just a load of bullshit we made up so our monkey brains wouldn't have to confront the fact that each of the billions of people wandering around our planet is just as much a unique, complex individual as we are. Good thing that couldn't possibly be true, because drat would that be a scary world to live in.
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Dec 15, 2021 04:18
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There may be more to it than that - I've found a lot of (well, okay, a small bit, which is probably all I'm capable of) self-worth in a sense of community by discovering people who share with me the parts of myself that isolate me from other people. I can see some people feeling that the broader the group is, and the less similar to themselves people in that group are, the less sense of community they would find. If a label fits me, then other people's identities don't affect me, but there seem to be many people who want to distance themselves from other people by not sharing labels with them. Categories are simultaneously grouping elements and separating elements.
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Dec 15, 2021 05:19
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This is completely unrelated to the current conversation, but I do think it's relevant to the thread in general, so I hope you'll forgive the digression. I just reread the "Murderbot Diaries" sci-fi novels. The protagonist is a "SecUnit", a manufactured android/cyborg that's rented out to serve as off-the-shelf security for people doing various dangerous things. Its self-deprecating inner monologue refers to itself as Murderbot, hence the series title, even though it is extremely diligent and devoted to its job. And I use "it" to match the story text -- Murderbot is asexual, and generally finds biology gross and distressing (and its own biology is not exempt). It also has severe social anxiety, which isn't helped any by the many in-universe stories that paint SecUnits as monsters that only really exist to go on narratively convenient murderous rampages. The fact that its clients are all aware of the reputation that SecUnits have doesn't help matters. Really, all that Murderbot professes to want to do is be left alone so it can watch media; it especially loves long and implausible soap operas. The Rise and Fall of Sanctuary Moon is its favorite series, with something over 400 episodes. Murderbot also has trouble processing its own emotions, and likes to obliquely reference emotional reactions by stating things like "my efficiency rating dropped 2%". It uses its media (especially rewatching Sanctuary Moon) as a way to help it stabilize when it's been pushed off-balance by something. It also has trouble believing that it has any value. SecUnits are supposed to be disposable, and are not considered to be people by most of society, so this is understandable, but it does lead to some cognitive dissonance when Murderbot starts encountering people who think it's a person instead of an appliance. I don't really have a thesis here, but I found the books to be charming and supporting, and I recommend them.
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Dec 15, 2021 05:22
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I don't know if I'm just contrary, but for my part, I semi-consciously walk around curb-cuts (or "kerb ramps", they're called here) a lot of the time. It's possible that it's a habit that's come out of giving space to everyone else around that's using the kerb ramps? I was the kind of kid though (and admittedly I'm still kind of like this) that would jump fences rather than walk ten metres to go through a gate - I didn't care that it was more effort, as long as it was faster. If I'm crossing the road, I do tend to gravitate near to kerb ramps, though - since semi-consciously again, I consider those to be designating places that are safer to cross. ... Usually. There's a weirdly-placed kerb ramp near where I live that's on a busy road, doesn't have a corresponding kerb ramp in the traffic island, and not only does it not have a kerb ramp on the other side of the road, it actually instead has a metal barrier.  I might be the exception that proves the rule when it comes to captions/subtitles, too; generally I don't like them, since they obscure the visuals and can mess with the pacing of dialogue since it's usually easy to read a line much faster than an actor can deliver it. In computer games (mainly in first-person ones), I also find that subtitles put a bit of a dampener on immersion. This all changes if the spoken language isn't English though, in which case... Subs not dubs. 
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Dec 15, 2021 06:20
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Subtitles are also great for watching something in a second language, subtitles don't have unfamiliar accents or slurred words.
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Dec 15, 2021 07:14
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They're also just good, disabilities aside! Maybe you need them or maybe they're just convenient, maybe because accent proves to be a barrier. No matter what the circumstance, having an alternative method to ingest information is nothing but a positive. I won't contribute to the subs vs dubs argument past that.
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Dec 15, 2021 08:30
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MadDogMike posted:Yeah, there are a couple no curb roads in my neighborhood, you would not believe how many stupid asshats I see outright drive up on the grass to park for some reason. Gee, thanks for tearing the lawn up for basically no reason, geniuses. TooMuchAbstraction posted:This is completely unrelated to the current conversation, but I do think it's relevant to the thread in general, so I hope you'll forgive the digression. I just reread the "Murderbot Diaries" sci-fi novels. The protagonist is a "SecUnit", a manufactured android/cyborg that's rented out to serve as off-the-shelf security for people doing various dangerous things. Its self-deprecating inner monologue refers to itself as Murderbot, hence the series title, even though it is extremely diligent and devoted to its job. And I use "it" to match the story text -- Murderbot is asexual, and generally finds biology gross and distressing (and its own biology is not exempt). They're great books and all Hugo finalists/winners.
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Dec 15, 2021 11:32
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Subs are good because they helped me a lot when I was learning English. Also on my neck of the woods the dub mixing is atrocious more often than not, so.
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Dec 15, 2021 15:09
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A lot of TV shows seem to have very quiet dialogue but very loud explosions so I started using subtitles as the alternatives were 1) not being able the hear what was going on or 2) waking up the house.
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Dec 15, 2021 15:14
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Update 94: Six Meters Closer to Heaven (Act 2, Scenes 13-15) This update doesn’t contain a sex scene, but it does show just enough skin for me to mark it as not safe for work and spoiler it. PG-13, but I definitely wouldn’t let your boss see you’re reading it. (Silence) What does one do on a lunch break if not eat? It turns out that, between the two of us, we don't really know. Fortunately, passing time is an activity that manages itself just fine. Even though there's no conversation to fill the silence between the passing seconds, no pointless activities like cloud-gazing to spend upon the minutes between now and then, time marches on relentlessly. I keep checking the time on my watch, then decide it's a dumb thing to do. Instead, I try to hold out for as long as possible before I check it again. Maybe I can hold out for six or seven minutes. Rin remains silent, idly looking up at the cerulean expanse above us. I wonder why, more often than not, we don't speak much. She said that she doesn't like speaking because of her perceived difficulties with expressing herself properly. As for me, I think I just got sucked into the habit at the hospital, where I spent such a long stretch of time never really talking to anyone. Most of the time I feel comfortable about this quiet mood. And even when I get the feeling that I have to break the silence, it's always so difficult to come up with something to talk about when it's with Rin. She and I are on such different wavelengths that nothing seems to be on common ground.  HISAO: "What is that you like about the sky so much?" She turns to me, her eyes dark and serious.  RIN: "Sky is the only thing that is perfect. I know it. You could say I'm an expert of sky if you wanted. And I am even if you didn't want to. A sky expert. It's always different, but it's always perfect also when it's different." I follow her gaze up into the boundless blue expanse, thinking of her words. HISAO: "Have you ever wanted to be something different?" RIN: "It wouldn't be so bad to be the sky." HISAO: "No, I mean, someone else, someone different. To go to a normal school like everyone else, not have to worry about stuff..." RIN: "What stuff?" I try to find the right words for a moment, but can't manage to form a sentence that I'd be comfortable with actually using. HISAO: "Man, I don't really want to say it aloud." RIN: "Try. I'm not so good at mind reading." HISAO: "Don't you ever want to not be disabled?" She thinks about this and then shakes her head, frowning. RIN: "That's a hard question. I don't know what to say." HISAO: "It's okay if you don't say anything. For some reason, I'm just so unsatisfied with who I am right now that I'm constantly thinking stuff like that. It's pretty hard to admit, but there it is." Honestly, I feel relieved about finally saying it aloud to someone, even if it's just Rin. Katawa Shoujo OST - Lullaby of Open Eyes .png) RIN: "I think I want to be different, sometimes. I've thought about changing myself lately, but it's a bit scary, like walking backwards with your eyes closed. The difficult part is to know where your toes are not pointing at. I mean, directions. Even if I don't do anything, I would never stay the same. It's like my old paintings. They are different than what I paint now, because I'm different, but they are still my paintings so there's something same. That's really strange. I am different every day, but I'm still me every day. Who am I then?" HISAO: "Is that a riddle?" RIN: "If you want it to be. I don't know the right answer though, so you have to come up with it yourself." HISAO: "Well, it's the sky, isn't it? Going by your definition just now." I actually manage to surprise her by that. Maybe she had already forgotten about it. RIN: "That's right! But I was thinking about myself when I said that. Very strange. Could it be that I actually am the sky?" HISAO: "I don't think that's possible. Your logic's a bit off somewhere." She looks down and shuts up and I can see she's quickly going over the deduction mentally, seemingly unhappy with the result she finally arrives at. RIN: "Yeah, maybe I'm not the sky. Would make sense, I have a hard time knowing what kind of a person I am." HISAO: "You're not the only one." RIN: "It's like my mind is in some other place than the rest of me." HISAO: "Underwater." RIN: "Yeah. I wonder how it got there." I have no answer, so a brief silence falls between us for a moment. .png) I shift my gaze back to the sky above us. The last time I really paid much attention to the sky was... I guess it must've been at the hospital. I could only see a thin strip of sky from the window of my room. If I walked up to the windows and pressed my face against the cold glass, the strip became bigger, but not by much. That sky made me feel sad and lonely, a reminder of the world on the other side. I wonder if there's another world beyond the sky we see from up here on the school's roof, as well. I can't stop comparing life at Yamaku to my hospitalization, but I really should. I'm not there any more. The narrow sky from the window of my hospital room, the faces of the doctors, the faces of my parents. The off-white walls everywhere. Iwanako's letter, echoing the words she never said. They're things of the past now. I wish I could forget everything up until now and that time would stop completely. There would be only me, Rin, and the sky, an eternal lunch break on this rooftop. Perfect, unchanging, and forever. HISAO: "I'm not sure if I like or hate this school." RIN: "I could have gone to a normal school if I wanted, but I chose to come here." HISAO: "Why?" RIN: "I just decided I would. Kind of like melon or plum jelly." HISAO: "Do you think it was a good idea? I mean, there are a lot of good things about this school, but I think there are a few bad things also." RIN: "I know. I kind of collect people, because they are interesting. People here really are amazing. Most of them. But not all. Some people can't take it. They hurt too much. It gets really bad sometimes, you know. They hurt. I wonder if you're like that too? I hope not. I don't like things like that." HISAO: "Hey, I'm not your case study. And I'm not going to give up and die or anything. Anyway, I meant more that this place is too distant from the real world." RIN: "What's the real world?" HISAO: "Everything out there. Real people, with normal everyday lives that fit together like a puzzle." RIN: "You don't think we aren't like that? Real people?" HISAO: "Maybe we aren't. Well, no, we are. I just meant that it feels more like we're the leftover pieces." Rin thinks for a while, her almond-shaped eyes narrowing as she bites her lip a little bit, like a child. RIN: "Is it hard to be disabled?" Her question earns a dry chuckle from me. HISAO: "You tell me. You've been in this business a lot longer than I have." She thinks about that for another while. RIN: "I don't really feel that disabled. I mean I do pretty much everything differently, but it's not that hard. I can always practice.” .png) RIN: "I've started to practice food things this year. I think I'd want to learn to cook in a real kitchen someday." HISAO: "That's admirable, but I don't think it's just a state of mind." RIN: "Maybe not to you." I have no good counter to that, so I concede by falling silent. The situation is making me more and more confused. I know what I want, but don't know how to reach it. Rin seems to believe she can simply will herself into the shape she thinks she needs to be, but can't decide whether she wants to be a bird or a butterfly. RIN: "I think, in the end I'm not really that happy with who I am either, but that doesn't mean I regret being who I am.” (Sudden Silence) RIN: "That's the thing that's wrong with you, Hisao." (Shuffling Sound) .png) I've only started to process that rather blunt statement before Rin suddenly hugs me. HISAO: "What are you doing?" I've never been hugged by a girl with no arms before. To be honest, it doesn't really, physically feel like a hug. The awkward way she presses her body against mine and the lack of embracing arms makes it feel like she fell on top of me. But the warmth of a real hug is still there, and that's how I recognize it for what it is. RIN: "I'm hugging you, Hisao." HISAO: "I know that, but..." Katawa Shoujo OST - Comfort RIN: "Is it wrong? I thought this is what you're supposed to do. I'm not really used to this kind of thing. The first time Emi hugged me I got surprised and kicked her in the stomach. I can kick pretty hard so she hasn't been hugging me an awful lot after that." HISAO: "It's not wrong. Just, no, it's just me... things are a bit hard for me, for the time being. I can't seem to react properly to anything." .png) RIN: "Really? So it is hard being disabled after all?" I guess she has me cornered there. I don't have the energy to start arguing against it, but I feel like I have to get something out. HISAO: "Well, I... no, it's not hard. I think it's just me overthinking things. I really wish I didn't feel so sorry for myself all the time." I wonder if I always was this fragile or if I became this way after my incident. Nothing had ever truly shaken my world like that before, so there's no telling. Rin presses her cheek against me tightly. I can feel the warmth of her body close against me. Her body temperature feels really high, as if she had absorbed the sunlight into herself and was now sharing it with me. Or perhaps it's a natural state for her. It's the most comforting thing I've felt in a long, long time. RIN: "Wow, your heartbeat really does sound really weird. It's like a drunken percussion orchestra." HISAO: "Please don't say stuff like that. I get very uncomfortable." I laugh at her comment anyway, in an attempt to ease the tension. It sounds a little bit too forced. HISAO: "Man, I'm sorry I'm such a mess." RIN: "It's okay. It's the best part of you." HISAO: "Hearing that doesn't make me happy." She breaks off the hug and settles down. An awkward silence falls upon us like a blanket; me feeling embarrassed about myself and Rin trying to arrange her expression to something she likes. One last time, I glance upwards. HISAO: "This rooftop is really great. It's like I'm just a little bit closer to the sky." RIN: "I know a better place, but we can't go there on lunch break. I can take you there sometime if you want." The bells ring for the beginning of the afternoon classes and Rin stands up to make her way downstairs. I don't hurry after her, deciding to stay up here for just a little while longer. HISAO: "Thanks for the hug." RIN: "Thanks for not kicking me." After Rin leaves I finally let tears roll down my cheeks and cry for my condition for the first and only time in my life. Then I cast away that hollow person lying on the hospital bed, forever. Katawa Shoujo OST ~ Passing of Time .png) (Silence) Two days later, I'm feeling less miserable. I even go for a long, brisk, healthy walk like the nurse recommended, something which I had avoided and dodged with all sorts of excuses earlier. I feel more active in class as well, delighting our science/homeroom teacher, Mr. Mutou, with correct and promptly delivered answers. The break right now between the two morning classes is too short for any sort of meaningful activity, but too long to just spend it sitting in the classroom and doing nothing. (Crowd Sounds) Going out into the hallway isn't much better, but flexing my stiffened muscles is a better use of time than letting them get even stiffer by staying seated. The door of the neighboring classroom door opens and the students of 3-4 emerge to further fill up the already semi-crowded hallway. It seems their teacher kept them in for a few extra minutes. Emi is among them. Katawa Shoujo OST - Standing Tall (Emi’s Theme) (Crowd Sounds Continue) .png) She notices me noticing her, which almost makes me look away on reflex. I don't, however, and Emi smiles at me as she happily skips towards me past the other students. Emi looks pretty energetic, showing no sign of illness whatsoever. It seems she recovered from the cold.  EMI: "Hey! Good morning!" HISAO: "Nice to see you back on your feet. Feeling better now?" She looks fine to me, but I still feel compelled to ask. EMI: "Thanks! And yeah, I do. It was just a cold, nothing serious." Emi laughs confidently, as if to emphasize her condition. I wonder for a moment what would count as serious in Emi's book. She seems to be eager to put the topic aside, though. HISAO: "Where are you going?" EMI: "Off to Rin's room to see if she's awake yet." HISAO: "Oh? She skipped the morning class?" A sheepish smile emerges on Emi's face and she gets slightly flustered. EMI: "Err... not exactly. It seems that she caught the cold that I had." HISAO: "Sorry to hear that. Well, she was out in the rain on Sunday with us, after all. I saw her on Monday and she was feeling a bit under the weather back then too." EMI: "Yeah. Anyway, I'll ask the nurse for some cold medication to give her if she doesn't get better soon." (Silence, Crowd Sounds Continue) She leaves for the girls' dorm. I want to go with her to wish Rin well. I want to tell her that I'm better now too, but it doesn't feel appropriate. An unspecified feeling diverts my thoughts away. Somehow I just can't summon the resolve to go in there. Is this what Iwanako went through when she tried to tell me what she felt? Katawa Shoujo OST ~ Passing of Time .png) (Silence) Even though I'm feeling more energetic, I'm still hesitant about going over there to talk to Rin. It's not until two days later, on Friday, that I finally gather enough courage to enter the girls' dorm. I ask the first person I meet inside for directions to Rin's room. I knock on Rin's unmarked door and wait. After a few seconds of silence I hear something rustling inside the room. I start wondering if maybe I should've brought something for her, like a can of warm coffee or some oranges. I could have peeled them for her. Well, too late now. The door opens soundlessly - it was already unlocked - and I find myself staring at Rin, who stares back at me. She looks like she just got out of bed, with her hair all messed up. ...and barely any clothes on. … .png) RIN: "Hellooooo." Katawa Shoujo OST - Parity (Rin’s Theme) There is a strange, stupid-looking smile on Rin's face. I'm not exactly sure why. Rin smiles so rarely that it seems to be out of place every time. Especially so now, given her partially undressed state. Said state makes me feel extremely conflicted about whether or not this was a good idea. Her cheeks are flushed rose-red, contrasting with the milky-pale complexion of a person who doesn't get enough sunlight. Her forehead looks sweaty, as though she might have a fever. HISAO: "Um, hi." Now what? I didn't plan anything further than this, and Rin is staring at me with those expectant eyes of hers again. Something about this situation gives me very strange vibes. Her eyes are even more vacant than usual and she seems to have a hard time focusing them on anything. The lack of clothing is disturbing, but since she herself doesn't seem to be bothered, why should I be? I keep telling myself that. HISAO: "Err, I thought I'd pay you a visit since you haven't been at the art club... and I wanted to talk with you and wish you well." Rin doesn't show any sign of recognizing what I just said, making me wonder if she actually understood my words, or if she even heard them. Maybe it's the fever making her groggy; she might've actually been asleep before I came over. RIN: "Okay." She turns on her heel and withdraws from the door, walking back inside the small room. From the doorway I can see her walk to her bed and half fall down, half sit down on the messy pile of bedsheets. The open doorway seems to be more of an obstacle in my mind than the closed door was, but since Rin doesn't say anything else, I step through it, and into her room. .png) Rin is on her bed leaning against the wall, leaving the only chair in the room for me. She keeps quiet even after I sit down, so maybe she meant to invite me in but just forgot to say so aloud? An implied invitation, as it were. RIN: "Very exciting. Nobody has visited me before." The breaking of the silence draws my attention from the room to its inhabitant, who currently seems to be in the middle of a very profound thought process. RIN: "Actually that was not true. About visiting. But Emi doesn't count even if she visits. She always pampers me too much. I think she's having too much fun. I think I've forgot how to put a bra on by myself." She looks groggily down at her chest. RIN: "Which is probably why I don't have one on, now that I think about it." I haven't failed to notice that Rin doesn't have her shirt buttoned up either, but I try to keep my eyes strictly locked on hers. It's rather evident that she's not a very body-conscious person. My own body, however, is quite conscious of hers right now. RIN: "She came to wake me up at half past seven today! Can you imagine that?" She pauses for a while and glances up at my dumbfounded face. RIN: "On second thought, you probably can. It's not like that reverse rainbow fish I tried to imagine earlier. That was hard." HISAO: "Well yes, that seems like a pretty normal time to wake up if you want to go to class in the morning." I'm trying to sound as reasonable as possible to counteract Rin's unreasonable annoyance. RIN: "Told her to sod off. She gave me these meds and told me to take them." I follow her eyes to the night table and then to the pill bottle sitting on top of it. .png) I pick it up and turn it around to look at the label so I can see what kind of medication Emi brought. Active ingredient... codeine? HISAO: "You took all of these?" RIN: "No. Yes. I've been eating some since there's so many of them. Seem to make this thing not so bad. Actually... I think I'm feeling just fine." Her head lolls round and round, making it look like she is either trying to stretch her neck muscles or possibly pass out. She took several of these pills? Can that be safe? At least it's bound to have some side effects... which I'm afraid I am witnessing right now. RIN: "I am feeling just fine... I am fine... just someone take this buzzing away from my head. I can't think straight." The annoyed expression returns to Rin's face. RIN: "It's like many of those insect things... or one really big insect thing. With lots of wings. Very much color and everything. What's the word for those? Oh, never mind. I remembered. It's butterflies." She smiles slightly at her last observation. The small pause in her monologue is not long enough for me to dare saying something that could potentially, but not likely, salvage this discussion. RIN: "I love butterflies. They are the best animal. Did you see any on your way here? Hisao." She utters my name as an afterthought, possibly to make clear that she is now addressing me instead of just speaking her mind to whoever might be listening. This odd situation has left me speechless more or less since the moment Rin first opened her mouth. Now that she herself doesn't seem to have anything else to add, silence fills the small room. It makes me glance around again in an attempt to find something to talk about. Rin's room is about as small as mine. The big window, which takes up most of the wall furthest from the door, opens to the east just like mine. It looks very normal, which strikes me as strange. I expected something more... different. About a dozen paintings - most of them in Rin's signature abstract style - and a few art posters are taking up almost all of the available wall space, but that's about the only real difference between her room and mine. The room is not exactly ascetic, but it doesn't look like what I'd expected from a girl's room, either. A faint smell of art... of paint and paper is floating in the air. It's the same smell the art room has. Rin isn't too concerned about being tidy, it seems; everything she owns seems to be arranged in various piles around her room. HISAO: "Your room looks nice." It's an empty sentence one uses to fill empty spaces in conversations, but my wits are failing me pretty hard right now. RIN: "Yeah. Would you like me to show you the places?" She looks down at her half-open shirt quizzically, making me inadvertently follow her gaze to her chest. RIN: "Oh... I guess I already did." I can't deny that, no matter how hard I tried to act properly. RIN: "It is very nice that you came to see me. It makes me feel very... what's that word... you know, the one about things and stuff. Anyway, you came." Rin's rambling makes me remember that I actually came here for a reason. (Silence) HISAO: "Hey, about what we talked on Monday. On the rooftop, remember?" RIN: "Hmmm?" Rin doesn't seem to be exactly attentive right now, not that she ever is. I plow ahead and get it off my chest anyway. HISAO: "I just wanted to tell you that I'm going to be better from now on, I guess. I hate being pathetic, so I decided that I'm not going to be, any more. I guess... that's all." RIN: "Okay. Isn't that good?" The blurry words flow out of her lips slowly and uncontrollably. RIN: "I'm happy for you I think. That's what I think. You shouldn't look so sad all the time. I mean, looking sad is fine if you are not sad, but you look sad like you actually sad. That's no good. Are you going on some training camp where they make men out of boys? Or mountaintop meditation?" HISAO: "No, I don't think so." Katawa Shoujo OST - Parity (Rin’s Theme) RIN: "Oh. I guess that's fine too." The sentences come out of her mouth, and probably her brain, one at a time with a small pause between each, making her gibberish hard to understand. RIN: "I just think it seemed like a good idea. Maybe it's not." Rin finishes with one more line, getting to say the last word over herself, an impressive display of what I can only describe as mental shadowboxing. HISAO: "While I'm embarrassing myself, might as well tell you that I'm sorry that I said some stupid things to you last week. It's your own business to decide what you're going to do." She seems to not register my words first, but then understanding lights in her eyes and she waves her head around in a way that could be interpreted as anything. RIN: "It's OK. I probably said stupid things too. It's just sometimes a bit hard to keep my thoughts the way I like them. They are not very straight, at least most of the time. Not that I want to have them straight... I just wish they were at least in some shape. Round is fine too. But I need more definition. My thoughts are very messy. Messy." .png) She repeats the word melancholically, then flops lying down on her bed and nuzzles her head against her pillow, shutting her eyes. RIN: "Enough. Tired. You should go. I'm going to sleep again." .png) She opens one of her eyes to look at me. RIN: "Was it you who likes to look at sleeping girls? Or someone else? Maybe there were many of those. I can't remember. You can stay if you want." HISAO: "No no, I'll leave. I have to... do homework anyway." (Silence) RIN: "Wait." Her request stops me in my tracks, not that I intended to scoot off right away. .png) I look over my shoulder at the girl lying on her bed, again with the strangest kind of smile on her features. She should smile more often. RIN: "I can walk you to the door. It's the least a gentleman can do." Rin giggles like a little kid, making me beyond absolutely certain that she took far too much of her cold medication today. RIN: "I have always wanted to say that." Slowly and with difficulty, Rin first rises to a sitting position again, then she stands up with even more difficulty and more slowly still. As if guided by some masculine automation, my eyes instantly lower to the curve of her thighs and the striped panties, at which point my manners force me to lift my gaze back to Rin's eye level. It's getting almost too hard to do that. Rin is standing, although barely. It looks like she has trouble keeping her usually decent balance; again, probably a side effect of the medicine. She takes an unsteady step towards me, then another smaller one as she notices that it's not a good idea to try to take big steps. I feel my muscles tense as I prepare to catch Rin if she falls down. Katawa Shoujo OST - Aria De l’Etoile .png) She manages to take two more steps before she falls against me. To my surprise, neither her downwards momentum nor our slight height difference are able to stop Rin from pressing her heart-shaped lips squarely against mine. As our lips part after a confusing moment of nothing but the taste of... Rin, I look down at her, trying to find some explanation for this bewildering event. The euphoric smile of a madman broadens on Rin's lips again and— RIN: "I wonder if I will remember this tomorrow." I am absolutely stumped on how to respond. Rin takes a step backwards, separating her body from mine, and making me only now realize that they were even connected in the first place. The second step is actually a fall backwards, luckily straight onto her bed. The soft thud Rin's thin body makes against the mattress breaks the silence. I move quickly over to her to see if she hurt herself, only to be met with the peaceful face of dreaming. Rin sleeps. She is lying diagonally across the bed, somehow managing to have simultaneously fallen asleep while standing up, and fallen down in a way that she didn't injure herself. Fool's luck. .png) I tuck Rin in, covering her with the sheets as well as I can. She feels very light, even though I am not that strong. I stand up to look at her, the oval-shaped face, the dark eyelashes shut against the feverish cheeks, the slender body covered with the pale sheets. Rin sleeps. A conflict - no. Conflicts, plural, churn inside of me. I think about calling a nurse to keep an eye on her, but decide against it. After taking one more glance at her peaceful face, I decide that she'll be fine. I do pocket the remaining pills, though. (Silence) I exit the room, and close the door soundlessly behind me. I exhale deeply, only now realizing I had held my breath for the better part of a minute. Taking a moment to relax, I try to calm down my heart, racing like a jackrabbit.
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Dec 15, 2021 15:21
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On the topic of city street design: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mh-GTlvf0w
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Dec 15, 2021 18:22
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...Are we to conclude that Rin is at her Rinniest when hopped up on goofballs?
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Dec 15, 2021 19:27
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drat if this isn't the best update this thread has seen so far.
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Dec 15, 2021 19:51
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Funktor posted:...Are we to conclude that Rin is at her Rinniest when hopped up on goofballs? Not just "goofballs". Codeine is an opiate, and opiates (along with the self-destruction they entail) have long been associated with artists of various stripes, whether one thinks of nineteenth-century Bohemians and opium, or modern artists (especially musicians) and heroin. I don't imagine this was an accidental association on the part of Rin's writer.
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Dec 15, 2021 22:16
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How the hell did Emi get that stuff for Rin? Surely even Nurse isn't so unprofessional as to just hand her a bottle of codeine medicine for a friend. Wouldn't he at least need to prescribe it? Oh my god, did she swipe it from his office?
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Dec 16, 2021 03:17
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Thunk posted:How the hell did Emi get that stuff for Rin? Surely even Nurse isn't so unprofessional as to just hand her a bottle of codeine medicine for a friend. Wouldn't he at least need to prescribe it? That wouldn't be the first time he had to yell at her, but drat. Space Kablooey posted:On the topic of city street design: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mh-GTlvf0w  That's a good one!
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Dec 16, 2021 04:31
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Quick googling indicates you can't get codeine OTC in Japan, so it's prescription. Don't know how commonly it's prescribed. Since Rin has needed assistance (how much, I don't know) her whole life getting dressed, I assume she has a low nudity taboo.
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Dec 16, 2021 05:20
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Thunk posted:How the hell did Emi get that stuff for Rin? Surely even Nurse isn't so unprofessional as to just hand her a bottle of codeine medicine for a friend. Wouldn't he at least need to prescribe it? It sounds like the nurse gave Emi some medication for Emi's cold. Emi got over her cold, but Rin then came down with one. Emi then gave Rin her leftover medication.
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Dec 16, 2021 06:09
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Dirk the Average posted:It sounds like the nurse gave Emi some medication for Emi's cold. Emi got over her cold, but Rin then came down with one. Emi then gave Rin her leftover medication. Anyone who prescribed codeine for a cold would lose their license so fast they'd make Dr. Kevorkian look like C. Everett Coop.
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Dec 16, 2021 06:14
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In Australia you could get cold medicine with a small amount of codeine in it over-the-counter a while back and presumably still by prescription. So codeine probably isn't the only active ingredient, just the one that jumped out to Hisao.
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Dec 16, 2021 06:30
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EclecticTastes posted:Anyone who prescribed codeine for a cold would lose their license so fast they'd make Dr. Kevorkian look like C. Everett Coop. Codeine is a fairly common cough syrup component, and was more so years ago. You're not getting painkiller-level doses, but there's enough there to make you loopy - lean, purple drank etc. are all commonly based on codeine from cough syrups.
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Dec 16, 2021 10:36
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TitanG posted:Codeine is a fairly common cough syrup component, and was more so years ago. You're not getting painkiller-level doses, but there's enough there to make you loopy - lean, purple drank etc. are all commonly based on codeine from cough syrups. Codeine has been illegal to use in OTC cough syrups in the United States since the 1970s. The narcotic cough syrups mostly use dextromethorphan or promethazine. To get anything with codeine, you need a prescription.
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Dec 16, 2021 11:55
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EclecticTastes posted:Codeine has been illegal to use in OTC cough syrups in the United States since the 1970s. The narcotic cough syrups mostly use dextromethorphan or promethazine. To get anything with codeine, you need a prescription.
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Dec 16, 2021 12:16
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Friar John posted:Codeine is available over the counter in Japan today. Point taken, though it's still pretty troubling that Emi would just give her best friend a bunch of it.
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Dec 16, 2021 12:19
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And that Rin apparently just took a handful and is currently "overdosing" on them to some extent.
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Dec 16, 2021 12:29
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Poil posted:And that Rin apparently just took a handful and is currently "overdosing" on them to some extent. Hisao: "Eh, she'll sleep it off" Now I'm having flashbacks to when a friend of mine had back surgery and the hospital accidently overdosed her with Hydromorphone. I had to sit there for seven hours while she hovered between 12 and 10 breaths a minute. If she dropped to six, I was supposed to shake her. Falling asleep is the worst thing to do with a narcotics overdose.
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Dec 16, 2021 14:28
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Yeah, the narrative is playing it off but my immediate response to "girl takes too many cold pills" is not "cute drowsy hijinks", it's "call the drat nurse". I think there's some cultural and personal bias there, though; I'm the type that carefully sets alarms to time my ibuprofen and paracetamol* doses when I'm sick. *tylenol, I think the US calls it?
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Dec 16, 2021 15:12
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mycelia posted:*tylenol, I think the US calls it? Tylenol is a brand name, the chemical is called acetaminophen. no idea why it's different.
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Dec 16, 2021 15:16
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Tylenol is acetaminophen
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Dec 16, 2021 16:06
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Chloe Jessica posted:Tylenol is a brand name, the chemical is called acetaminophen. no idea why it's different. They're both shortened versions of the full chemical name, different ones just caught on in various places. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paracetamol posted:Both paracetamol and acetaminophen are contractions of para-acetylaminophenol, a chemical name for the compound. The initialism APAP used by dispensing pharmacists in the United States comes from the alternative chemical name [N-]acetyl-para-aminophenol
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Dec 16, 2021 16:27
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Yeah, it's a cute and important moment but it's another example of the game eschewing realistic medical decisions in favor of tropes. I'm not sure though, were there earlier hints of her being interested in Hisao like in Hanako's route? The physical contact is the only thing that jumps out to me but with Rin it's a bit difficult to tell.
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Dec 16, 2021 17:13
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Explopyro posted:They're both shortened versions of the full chemical name, different ones just caught on in various places. I learned that the hard way that in my very first LP  Incidentally, I looked up codeine overdoses and they DON’T look like what Rin’s going through here: no tiny pupils, no blue tint or trouble breathing, she doesn’t seem confused as much as even spacier than usual, speaks clearly (if not exactly coherently) instead of choking or trying to talk and failing, can apparently wake up without much difficulty if she really was asleep until Hisao knocked on her door. She’s still sick as balls and on codeine without any kind of supervision or reason to think she knows how to use opiates, though, and that’s not a great thing. YaketySass posted:Yeah, it's a cute and important moment but it's another example of the game eschewing realistic medical decisions in favor of tropes. Have we ever seen her interact with someone not Emi, Nomiya, or Hisao for more than one scene? She definitely doesn’t have the social experience necessary to make her attraction clear. Hell, Hisao may be the first person she’s ever been attracted to, or at least the first person she’s been close enough to for that to be a factor.
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Dec 16, 2021 18:03
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Update 95: Dandelions (Act 2, Scene 16) Katawa Shoujo OST ~ Passing of Time .png) Katawa Shoujo OST - Stride I had trouble getting to sleep that night, so the next morning finds me exceptionally groggy. I briefly consider skipping class but remind myself that I was supposed to be a stronger person now. I get up like a good boy and put on my uniform, then make my way to the main school building without eating breakfast. I sit in my seat in classroom 3-3, waving a greeting to Misha and Shizune like I do every morning, and let the day wash over me. The afternoon classes are always longer than those in the morning. This is true regardless of whether I count it by the minute or by the number of doodles drawn in my notebooks. Today I'm especially distracted, as I keep thinking about Rin. Did I manage to properly tell her that I want to get better? Did she understand a word of what I was saying? I think about the kiss we shared and what it means. She was so out of her mind, maybe it means nothing. But we've been getting closer lately. What does that mean? I think about Rin more and more nowadays. I wonder if she thinks about me. The ringing of bells makes me flinch, and then realize that I haven't been paying attention during the latter half of class at all. I look at the assortment of sketches traveling up and down the margins of my notebook, the only thing I got done in the last hour. Feeling vaguely disappointed in myself, I pack up and get to the hallway. (Sudden Silence) Rin is standing right outside the door, her presence stopping me in my tracks as soon as I spot her. Her posture is relaxed as always, but I suddenly feel like I just ate a crowbar. I'm having a hard time meeting her gaze. She doesn't seem to have any trouble looking at me, but those dark eyes are making me feel flustered for no reason. It's hard to look straight at her so I turn my face away a little. I don't know what one should say in this kind of situation. Then again, I rarely know what to say to Rin in any given situation. Katawa Shoujo OST - Stride .png) HISAO: "Err... hi." RIN: "Hello." I try to get rid of the awkwardness in my voice and invoke a more natural way of speaking. I suddenly worry about where I should put my hands; it feels like they're in the way somehow. HISAO: "How are you feeling? You were pretty out of it yesterday." RIN: "I'm okay. What do you mean yesterday?" HISAO: "You don't remember?" .png) She tilts her head to the side like a bird, looking somewhat confused. RIN: "Remember what? I have a pretty bad memory." HISAO: "About yesterday." RIN: "What about yesterday?" HISAO: "I came to see you and..." RIN: "I don't remember that kind of thing happening." She really doesn't remember? I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing, but I feel disheartened all the same. RIN: "I remember that I promised to show you one place, though. Did that happen for real? Maybe I just think that I remember that and I really don't." HISAO: "No, that was real too." RIN: "Okay. Do you want to go?" HISAO: "Now?" RIN: "Yeah." HISAO: "Well, sure, why not. Is it far?" RIN: "It's not." Together, we walk downstairs and then outside. The usual summer day, whirring cicadas and all, greets us. It's immensely hot, and without the air conditioning the classrooms offer, I start sweating immediately. We start along the tree-lined pathway that leads towards the dorms. The cherry trees offer shade, with the sunlight blinking through the holes in the canopy. The light creates a chaotic pattern of shadows dappled with bright places where the beams hit the pavement. Rin's eyes are wandering in every direction but mine. I get the feeling that it's intentional. She leads me to the back gate once again, taking us through it and into the forest beyond. As before, the dropping temperature and the drastically reduced levels of light make it feel like the forest is swallowing us into its cavernous belly. We head uphill along the same path as last time, snaking around trees and boulders, over roots and rocks, past wild undergrowth. Birds sing somewhere in the woods, soloists for the humming background music of the treetops. We go past the small clearing with the big maple that is now called the Worry Tree. The climb steepens, then becomes easier again. I have to stop a few times to catch my breath, then hurry after Rin who doesn't stop to wait for me. Soon, I'm out of breath again. Katawa Shoujo OST - Stride (Muffled) .png) Suddenly the trees end, and we emerge from the forest. The boundary of the woods is sharp and abrupt, as though a line had been drawn to mark it. The hill continues to climb up a little further ahead, but from here to the top it's a rocky meadow, patches of grass and small bushes that look like they are growing straight from the rock. .png) (Silence, Birdsong) We soon reach the highest point, with the forest behind us and the view to every direction opening in front of our eyes. The city lies far below and away, lazily reveling in the quiet afternoon mood. You can see pretty far from here, and the vista is beautiful. I wonder how high up we are. I breathe the fresh air and feel my heart rate slowly going back down. I think I might've overdone it a bit; a higher pulse is dangerous for me. I'm feeling fine right now, though. The wind picks up, ruffling my hair and causing the trees below us to sway. It makes the grass undulate in waves as the breeze sweeps across the hilltop. Sun shines from the open skies upon us, a few clouds passing by to shadow it. What was painful heat before is now gentle warmth. I take a good look around. The hilltop is pretty in the way nature often is, unplanned harmony found in the natural arrangement of things. The most striking feature is the abundance of small yellow flowers. They're literally everywhere in this small meadow. I can't help commenting on it. HISAO: "Wow. A lot of flowers." RIN: "Yeah. Do you know this kind? They will fly away." HISAO: "Yeah. Dandelions." RIN: "There are not many of them at the school, because they cut the grass so often. Nobody cuts grass up here." The fragile-looking flowers will soon turn white and fluffy like cotton, and the wind will carry their seeds away. .png) I crouch down to look at one tiny yellow flower, silently basking in the sunlight. There's not a hint of white yet, so it's still waiting for its time to be fulfilled. I brush my fingers against the delicate yellow petals, feel the soft texture in my fingertips. It feels nostalgic somehow. I hear Rin approaching from behind and stand back up to face her. She has a weird look on her face. HISAO: "Something on your mind?" RIN: "I don't know. It's just..." Katawa Shoujo OST - Parity (Rin’s Theme) (Birdsong Stops) .png) RIN: "You just look so sad all the time and become upset so easily and it makes me confused and I really don't remember much about yesterday except that you came to my room and that's why it might be because of me so if it's because of me I think that I know why, it's because people don't really like talking to me and you might be the same and that would be sad I know that people and I'm talking about others than Emi too always say that I'm strange and that I talk strange things so I thought I'd try not to say strange things but that just makes me think more and new and strange and colorful that was not a good word but maybe you understand anyway and odd things so if I want to say something I don't really know how and then the words are not the same as the thoughts because something goes wrong on the way out but it's not like the thoughts are really the thing I should be saying it's more like the idea of the thought or the feeling of the idea or the idea of the feeling but it's not really any of those either because there is no word for it unless I invent a new one which is not really useful so I've been thinking if doing things is better than saying so maybe because yesterday I took those pills and I was feeling a little strange I might have done something that I shouldn't besides I don't even know if it would be any better if I just could say the thought there is no telepathy that's real telepathy isn't there I think it'd be terrible and useful at the same time but right now I wouldn't mind because misunderstanding is so easy but understanding is not and I thought—" (Sudden Silence) I grasp her shoulder and squeeze hard to make her stop. I don't have the capacity to take all that in at once. Rin shuts up instantly. HISAO: "Take a breath. I'm not upset. Why would I be? I'm just a little confused, but it's all right." I wonder if I was making a face she doesn't like again. I guess I've been thinking about yesterday all the time. Maybe I looked weird. I wish I had a mirror with me at all times. HISAO: "No need to get it all said at once. I'll listen, even if you talk slower." RIN: "It just came out. Sorry. I'm okay now. I just wanted to say something. I didn't mean that much. It's weird, isn't it?" Katawa Shoujo OST - Innocence She looks at me with a surprisingly timid expression, one that I haven't seen before. I can't help but laugh a little. HISAO: "Yeah. It's weird. You are a pretty weird person but there's nothing wrong with that. Thanks for being worried about me, but I'm going to get better. I told you that yesterday, but I guess you don't remember that either." RIN: "I don't. I wonder what else I forgot. Hopefully nothing important like my own name. That'd be terrible." HISAO: "Well, you kissed me." RIN: "I did?" HISAO: "Yeah, you did. On the lips." I try to sound as matter-of-fact as I can, but I worry that I might be blushing again. RIN: "Did you kick me?" HISAO: "No! Why would I do that?" RIN: "Then it's all good, right? It's okay, right? I didn't forget my name." HISAO: "Yeah, it's okay." I wish I was more suave so that I could come up with a better follow-up to that, but nothing comes to mind. It's a good thing that Rin has more to say. It makes me feel relieved somehow. RIN: "I think I should say sorry. I'm really bad with people. Some things are hard to understand - like jellyfish. Do you understand jellyfish?" HISAO: "I... I guess not." RIN: "People are like jellyfish to me. I don't understand." .png) Now it's her turn to make a face I don't really like seeing. RIN: "I've never really had friends." We get a choice here, a chance to bring up either us or Emi. I went with Emi without a vote because it has significantly more content.HISAO: "What about Emi?" She pauses for a while, as if having to consider the possibility came unexpected to her. RIN: "Emi... takes care of me. I don't really know why. But I can't really talk to her, not in that way. It's like her head is made of soap foam and marshmallows. Or maybe it's just me. I like her though." HISAO: "She's really nice, isn't she?" RIN: "Yeah." HISAO: "I want to be your friend too. I'll listen to you if you want to talk. If you don't, then I can just sit quietly next to you. And I want to tell you about what I think too. It goes both ways. We should definitely be friends." RIN: "It's really nice of you to say that. I have always been able to tell everything to pencils and paints and paper. They are my best friends. It is harder with people. I have to use words, that is hard for me." HISAO: "Yeah I know, you told me. About how you forget." Rin nods at me wordlessly and I dare to attempt showing her a little, encouraging smile. I hope I do it properly. She doesn't reply in any way. I feel really glad. The distance Rin puts between herself and everything else has made me feel really uneasy ever since I met her. If we become real friends, I'm sure I could understand her more. I'm sure that this way, we can close the gap of understanding between us. My thoughts don't transmit to Rin. She seems lost deep in thought, wandering amidst the sea of yellow flowers covering the grassy hilltop. It's just as well. Katawa Shoujo OST - Innocence (Birdsong) .png) Time passes, the breeze making the taller grass sway gently in time with the wind. Rin hums a little song to herself so quietly that I can't tell what it is, if it's even anything at all. A stronger gust sweeps over the hilltop, and the sound of the trees in the wind buries the song away. I check my watch, more out of habit more than anything else. It's 4:30 right now, on this Saturday afternoon. .png) RIN: "You are going to become better, right?" HISAO: "Sure." RIN: "Me too, you know. I'm going to talk to that friend of the teacher and ask her to put my stuff in her place and work hard to get all that done. I decided that just now, you know. But I think I knew it all along. I've had this feeling for a long time now, that I am going to change. Even if I hate it and don't want it, even if I wanted to, I would change. Like I am not enough the way I am. I think this could be a good way to do it because it's like a straight line. Like I've learned all the things in my life so far just for this. It's just art, and it's the only thing I really know. I know what I'm going to do, so it's good. I'm not afraid at all. I feel like I always do. Is that weird?" HISAO: "No. Not at all." .png) I close my eyes, and give in to the irresistible sensation that has been growing inside me all week long. I float up, towards the surface of my own life. The pressure of being underwater slowly diminishes, the weightless sensation becomes stronger. I break the surface of the water, lifting my head into the sunlight and inhale deeply, breathing in fresh air as if for the first time in a long, long while. My lungs fill with oxygen, and I open my eyes to see Rin's peaceful, determined face. We walk down the slope carefully and slowly to avoid falling down, Rin in the lead and me a few steps behind. Rin surely can do this. Even if she can't, she's going to pull through. I'm sure that I can keep my head above water too, from now on. The sun sets behind our backs, setting the world ablaze in its orange glow. I keep watching the back of the red-headed girl descending the path a few steps ahead of me. If it's only this much... this distance between us is definitely within my reach. END OF ACT 2
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Dec 17, 2021 16:20
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Falconier111 posted:
THIS. THIS. THIS. OH MY GOD THIS. This is me. This is my girlfriend. This is my roommates. People who I want to exist in proximity to. We've gone from my least favorite route to my most favorite (so far). Although up until this update, I was slightly bugged by Hisao calling what Rin was saying "a completely different wavelength", or criticizing her logic instead of asking her to elaborate or ask productive questions. I mean, I understand Rin completely, and can't fathom why other's wouldn't. And that's a mental trigger (not trauma, just a practiced response to a situation) for me to remind myself that just because I think a certain way, that doesn't make it a universal constant. This realization completely opened up my perception, allowing me to model people with one key attribute: what if their knowledge, beliefs, or experiences differ from mine? This modelling makes me very good (and here I mentally trigger to remind myself that the Dunning-Kruger Effect is a thing) at seeing why two people are disagreeing or misunderstanding each other. It's made me very aware of words that have subtle but important differences in connotation. I notice when one person uses "theory" to mean "well-tested model of reality" and another to mean "unproven hypothesis". It makes me unreasonably (or perhaps it is reasonable?) annoyed at poorly constructed or overly stretched analogies. Unfortunately, this can lead to me over-explaining. As I feel I may be doing now. *ahem* Uh, carry on 
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Dec 17, 2021 20:52
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Update 96: 22nd Corner (Act 3, Scene 1) A very short update uploaded early because of a very short last update. .png) (Silence) .png)  MUTOU: "I asked you a question, Nakai." Katawa Shoujo OST - Fripperies HISAO: "Ah, sorry. I wasn't paying attention." MUTOU: "What's the distance between... never mind, different question: Why are you here, in this class?" HISAO: "To, err... learn about physics." MUTOU: "Yes! Well, no, but that's the answer I wanted to hear. To acquire knowledge is the secondary reason for you being in the school. The primary one is to learn the rules of society, the norms and ethics that govern your everyday life. You don't come to school for the classes, you come to interact with the other people there, your classmates who are your equals and the teachers who are your superiors. You learn how to form social contacts and maintain them; in other words, how to be a part of society. The school itself is a microcosm of the entire society. Locke was the one who realized that, you know? School's not just a place for learning, and of all the kids your age, you guys should know that better than anyone else." He pauses for a moment and lets his eyes sweep over the class to see if the message sunk in. At the very least, it shut everyone up and got them to focus on him, captivated either by his voice or the sudden change of topic from physics to the philosophy of education. However, my classes - as you so aptly put - are a place for learning about physics. He points at me with the piece of chalk he's holding. MUTOU: "So, no sleeping during class. Got it, Nakai?" HISAO: "Yes, sir." From the corner of my eye I catch Shizune's scowl and Misha's barely contained giggle. I sink deeper into my seat. (Silence) After classes end, I'm the last one to leave the classroom. I close the door behind me and quietly make my way to the art room. .png) Club time passes in relative peace and quiet. I sit in my usual seat next to Rin, but she doesn't seem to be in a talkative mood. She's even more distant than usual. Today we are going to draw still life, and get to choose from either a vase full of fake flowers or an arrangement of rocks, sticks and canvas. The teacher encourages us to gather around the preferred motif, emphasizing perspective, texture and lighting as the key points of this exercise. I look at Rin to see if she prefers one of the subjects over the other, but she just tilts her head, signifying nothing. The club members quickly shuffle their chairs around the classroom to get closer to either the vase or the clutter. Rin and I both pick the flower vase, but only one of us seems to do any work. She's ignoring Nomiya's assignment just like she's suddenly started ignoring me, and has begun doodling something idly with her foot, not really even looking at what she's drawing. I try to catch her gaze, but she's looking out the window. It's making me uneasy. Rin almost looks like she's asleep with the way she's leaning back against the chair with her legs resting easily on the desk. She's now completely given up on the drawing. The more I try to relax, ignore her, and just be myself, the more it feels like I should ask if something's wrong. Katawa Shoujo OST - Daylight .png) After club activities are over and others have filed out, Rin gets up from her seat and marches over to Nomiya with unusual determination. RIN: "I will do it." Nomiya, who was humming to himself while sorting a box of pencils by hardness, turns around with a mixed expression of friendliness and incomprehension on his face.  NOMIYA: "Hmm? What will you do, my girl?" RIN: "The gallery person. I can talk with that person. At least yesterday I thought I could. And today too. I think. I want to try it. I'm going to go all the way." The widest smile I've ever seen on any person's face lights up the teacher's features. He is almost literally beaming. NOMIYA: "Oh, wonderful! I had almost lost hope! Such a hardheaded girl, you are! But I knew that sooner or later you'd understand, as well! I will call my good friend Saionji and arrange a meeting. You'll need to show her your work so she can estimate it. I've told her about you, but obviously you should talk face-to-face. This is so exciting, isn't it?" Nomiya is talking more to himself than to us and walking in circles around his desk, waving his hands around wildly all the while. He picks up his cell phone from the breast pocket of his jacket and flips it open with a stylish movement, starting to look for the number to call. While he searches, he notices me staring and gives me a beaming thumbs-up. I shrug back at him, doing my best to not look smug. Nomiya finds the number and makes the call, turning away from us and lowering his voice once it goes through. Even so, I can hear his excited tone. The call doesn't last long. NOMIYA: "Fabulous! Sae is at the gallery right now, and she said we could stop by right away if that's fine. This is most excellent!" HISAO: "Do you have some kind of portfolio to show, Rin?" She just shakes her head at the question. NOMIYA: "Never fear, I've taken some photos of your paintings. We can bring those and maybe a couple originals with us. Those will be quite sufficient for now. There should be some recent ones around here in the back, right?" He pulls out a folder full of photos out of a desk drawer, then charges towards the back where there's a small storage room and extra cabinets for all the materials and tools the art classes and club use. He soon finds what he was looking for and crudely wraps two of Rin's paintings in some brown packing paper. NOMIYA: "Nakai, would you carry these to my car?" I pick up the two oil paintings. They aren't heavy, but they do make navigation somewhat cumbersome as I follow Nomiya and Rin to the parking lot. .png) Nomiya has a pretty nice car, not something I'd expect a high school teacher to drive. I wonder what kind of salaries they earn at Yamaku. The canvases are stuffed into the trunk, where they just barely fit. At the teacher's overenthusiastic prompting, I get in the car along with them. Rin answers my questioning stare with a confirming nod and a nonchalant shrug. I guess I've become some sort of assistant for her now. (Silence, Street Noises) .png) Nomiya doesn't go light on the pedal. The smooth ride takes just about 10 minutes to bring us to the city center, where we pull into a tiny parking lot and get out of the car. I pick up the paintings again, looking around. It's just like any city in Japan, really. Same style of buildings, people hurrying here and there, office workers sweating in their suits in the summer heat. Wide, tree-lined streets aren't something you see everywhere though. Maybe they are this city's specialty. It definitely has that feel of a city, which I thought I had already forgotten. I feel immediately comfortable walking around. HISAO: "I haven't actually been here before." NOMIYA: "No? In that case, it's about time. It's a great city! Lots of wonderful folk around here. And most important of all, a vibrant cultural life. Ah, Sae's place is just around the corner." .png) After turning around three more corners, Nomiya stops in front of a door. There is a nameplate in big, red letters over it: “22nd Corner.” RIN: "Is this really the twenty-second corner?" HISAO: "Of what?" RIN: "That's bothering me too. I mean, where to start counting, and which way do you count?" Rin gets worked up over the strangest things. Unlike me, Nomiya ignores her completely and pushes the door open. Katawa Shoujo OST - Air Guitar The gallery is very clean-looking, and the air conditioning makes it cool and very comfortable. The white walls and big windows facing onto the busy street make the whole place feel airy and bright. There's nobody around whom I can see, however. Most of the floor space is empty, with only a few large tables and a counter for furniture. There are paintings too, of course. A poster advertises an exhibition for an artist I've never heard of. Most of his works seem to be portraits or landscapes done in a more traditional style than Rin's abstraction. .png) Summoned by the bell on the door, a lady who looks maybe around Nomiya's age comes from around the corner. She's dressed in a sharp suit, her straight dark hair in a perfect ponytail behind her head. A pair of flashy, expensive-looking eyeglasses frame her eyes. On second glance, I'm not so sure of her age any more. She looks old and yet... not actually old. NOMIYA: "Sae, hello!" She clearly recognizes the teacher, greeting him warmly.  SAIONJI: "Oh there you are, Shinichi, and so quickly. I take it that these two are your students?" NOMIYA: "Indeed, let me introduce you. This is Rin Tezuka, the one I spoke to you about, and the healthy-looking lad over there is Hisao Nakai." She takes a long, hard look at both of us, especially Rin. It feels like we're being evaluated, that a worth of some abstract kind is being calculated for us. Her eyes linger for a long time on Rin, on her eyes, her empty sleeves tied in knots, her posture. Sae takes her first impression of Rin with an intensity I've not seen used by anyone else before. Once finished, she smiles amiably. SAIONJI: "Pleased to meet you both. My name is Sae Saionji, and I'm the owner of this gallery. Could I maybe offer you some tea?" NOMIYA: "Oh, no thank you, we're fine. Let's get down to business." I lay the paintings on a tabletop to give the gallery owner a better view and Nomiya pulls out his folder of photos. The old lady studies Rin's works carefully, absentmindedly brushing her cheek with her fingers while letting her gaze sweep over the paintings. Her eyes remind me of a bird of prey of some sort. They're so sharp and somehow, very calculating. She takes her time, slowly going over the paintings in order without uttering a single word. Even the teacher looks very nervous. He tries to point out certain details and other things about Rin's work, but it seems like she's not listening. While Nomiya and I keep looking at Sae, trying to look for some hint of a reaction on the gallery owner's face, Rin lets her gaze wander around the gallery space. Suddenly, she pipes up. RIN: "Is this really the twenty-second corner?" Sae raises her gaze from the paintings to look at Rin, but doesn't answer. It's probably for the best. She takes stock of Rin's slouchy posture and her dreamy eyes that are again moving restlessly about. The way Rin seems to be detached from a situation that's supposed to be very important for her annoys me just a little. I'm practically holding my breath here. After Sae has gone through all of Nomiya's photos and inspected the two oil paintings I hauled here, she goes through all the material again, this time at a quicker pace. Finally, she gives her verdict. .png) SAIONJI: "I like it. Though, if you don't mind me saying, you're still a bit immature. Searching for your own direction, perhaps?" She picks up one of the photos. SAIONJI: "Still, just look at this. I just can't take my eyes off it. Like a little kitten playing around. That's what your art makes me feel, young lady." RIN: "Thank you. I think. Nobody has ever said that before. I think." That's all that Rin has to say. Something about what the gallery owner says and how she says it makes it sound patronizing to me, but I hold my tongue. NOMIYA: "Krhm, anyway... What a wonderful imagination, though, isn't it? I've always said that Tezuka has great eye for composition and color harmony. And technique! Remember, all these are done with her feet! Of course we'd need to put some of the simpler ones on display too, for the laypeople, right Sae?" The teacher snorts derisively. NOMIYA: "You know how those philistines are. What do they understand about real art? They'd just be at a loss with the abstractions and themes here! But it'll generate more publicity, and that's good, isn't it?" Sae smiles gently at Nomiya's remark and turns back to the paintings. SAIONJI: "I wonder... To tell you the truth, I just don't know if all this makes an exhibition. Even if I like it, I don't get the feel of a theme, of cohesion. There is no oeuvre, and really, who would expect such from a young artist like the kitten here?" NOMIYA: "Oh no no no! It's definitely doable, especially if we get a few new pieces and touch up some old ones." RIN: "I don't mind painting more. I'll do anything." SAIONJI: "It's a bit of a stretch." NOMIYA: "Trust me. I wouldn't have come to you if I didn't believe Tezuka was ready. You can see it too, can't you? I know exactly what her kind is capable of. And you know too." (Silence) Those words give the gallerist lady a pause. A hollow, bottomless look takes over her eyes for a moment, as if she was looking through or maybe past Nomiya. She says nothing, but her mouth becomes a tight, flat line, as if stretched. Finally, the moment passes." SAIONJI: "Is that what you're saying?" NOMIYA: "That's what I'm saying." Sae sighs and takes a few steps, walking in a circle as if to help organize her thoughts. She takes another look at a photo of the painting she particularly liked, the one that made her call Rin a kitten. She places her hand over her mouth, lost for words. After a few moments, she shakes her head. SAIONJI: "I don't know what to say. After seeing you, dear, and these paintings of yours... would you excuse us for a moment? I want to talk to your teacher in private for a bit." Sae draws the art teacher aside, and they talk in hushed tones for awhile. I can't hear what they are saying, but over her shoulder, I can see the lines around the corners of her mouth tighten as she motions with her hands in time with her words. The expression on her face is... what kind of expression is it? I couldn't say. Once they're done discussing whatever they had to discuss, they give one another a serious look. I feel something that goes beyond mere words transpiring there.
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Dec 18, 2021 17:34
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| # ? Apr 24, 2024 13:34 |
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I like the Thinker/Venus reference in the chapter splash page. Although it seems like Rin is doing the heavy lifting when it comes to overthinking here.
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Dec 18, 2021 17:50
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