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Poohs Packin
Jan 13, 2019

My god, Winston, is that infernal sun still giving my buttocks that entirely too cool smirk?!


There is a sign right there. You are the reason for the sign. You are a Jerk. It says don't eat on the train. I know you want Doritos RIGHT NOW but you're probably going to drop at least a few bits. What about the dust on your hands? I swear I just saw you wipe it on the seat. Am I going to say anything? No. I don't talk to people on the train I don't know as a matter of principal. I am a polite and decent train commuter. Now its peak hour and there are no seats left except for the one with weird orange dust all over it.

You gave your kid GUMMY BEARS. ON THE TRAIN. You absolute monster. I get that parenting is hard. Well not really because I don't have kids. But for fucks sake if I walk into a meeting with a client with a fuzzy piece of high fructose corn syrup on my jacket I'm going to flip the motherfucking switch.

Oh, you must have been thirsty! I see your Big Gulp is riding shotgun next to you just gently rocking back and forth with the sway of the train. I sure as gently caress hope you take that thing and its contents with you when your sloppy rear end disembarks. There are literally rubbish bins conveniently located throughout the entire public transit system, despite the fact that YOURE NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE FOOD OR DRINK ON THE TRAIN. That ice is going to melt, and then the cup is going to tip over. Then there is going to be a giant sticky wet Mountain Dew colored stain all over the seat and floor. You absolute piece of poo poo.

Holy. poo poo. Jesus. You absolute legend. You managed to bring a HOT MEAL onto the train. It looks to be chicken, possibly fried. Is that Jamaican jerk seasoning I smell? Mad respect. I love Jamaican jerk chicken. But its SEVEN IN THE GODDAMN MORNING. The three things I want to smell are:

1. Black Coffee;
2. The smoke I blow up my own rear end to steel me against another day in the capitalist machine; and
3. The semi-neutral sanitized smell of a clean morning train.

Jerk chicken isn't on the list. But Fried Jerk just might be when I suplex your inconsiderate rear end onto the third rail for eating on the train.

DONT EAT ON THE TRAIN.

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MyChemicalImbalance
Sep 15, 2007

Keep on smilin'





What about rear end OP can we eat rear end on your train

Poohs Packin
Jan 13, 2019

My god, Winston, is that infernal sun still giving my buttocks that entirely too cool smirk?!


MyChemicalImbalance posted:

What about rear end OP can we eat rear end on your train

Its not my train its everyones think about it in those terms and then ask yourself the question again

GEEKABALL
May 30, 2011

Throw out your hands!!
Stick out your tush!!
Hands on your hips
Give them a push!!


Fun Shoe

HEY YOU KIDS, GET OFF OPíS TRAIN!

staberind
Feb 20, 2008

Klomping endlessly thru the gray void...




Fun Shoe

The number 29 bus in london is a wild ride, especially as the same route turns into a night bus as well, I'm sure there is a time of day when relatively normal people ride it, but every time I'm on one its been interesting, we really like to get drunk here and eat kebab's with all the different sauces.

Revins
Nov 2, 2007

the stars are strange and this isn't home



BE A WORKER ROBOT BEEP BOOP CHARGE YOURSELF AT HOME NO REPLENISHMENT WHILE ON THE GO

goatface
Dec 5, 2007

I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.




Grimey Drawer

Wtf is there a buffet car then?

bitterandtwisted
Sep 4, 2006






sir this is the dining carriage

deedee megadoodoo
Sep 28, 2000
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I, I took the one to Flavortown, and that has made all the difference.




Oven Wrangler

no

bitterandtwisted
Sep 4, 2006






Love to have a few tinnies on the train 🍺

Maximum Sexy Pigeon
Jun 5, 2008

We must never speak of this!

No, gently caress you.

June 4 2021
Jun 4, 2021

by Pragmatica


Hate having some dick eating their stinky food on the train or bus, stinking the place up with what smells like boiled uterus or pisscakes.

Im just trying to get home from work!

Also dont get into a confined space with others and think yess this is the best time to have a loud phone conversation. Or play music from your lovely phone speakers.

Oh Don Piano
Nov 4, 2009




looks like we got another non work crapper situation here

my dog died im sad
Jun 29, 2015


Oh no! I'm spilling my soup everywhere!

June 4 2021
Jun 4, 2021

by Pragmatica


*guy who's sink is full of dishes with mold, doesnt own earphones and is wearing the same underwear for two days*

I'll eat wherever I want! *yelling on phone* sorry honey, I cant look after the kids this weekend, I have the podcast with the guys...no...no...it got 36 likes this month bitch

my dog died im sad
Jun 29, 2015


Why did I try to eat cioppino on the train!? I'm getting clams everywhere!!

satanic splash-back
Jan 28, 2009



I'm the guy eating vindaloo and blasting rear end.

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

First world problems thread

June 4 2021
Jun 4, 2021

by Pragmatica


Colonel Cancer posted:

First world problems thread

Are you saying non "first world" a really lovely term to use to begin with, are all annoying people?

My Spirit Otter
Jun 15, 2006


CANADA DOESN'T GET PENS LIKE THIS

SKILCRAFT KREW Reppin' Quality Blind Made American Products. Bitch.

im gonna make it a point to eat messier, smellier foods on public transit now. thanks for the help, op!

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

June 4 2021 posted:

Are you saying non "first world" a really lovely term to use to begin with, are all annoying people?

On this train you're supposed to make sense, friendo.

von Braun
Oct 30, 2009


Broder Daniel Forever

don't talk on the phone either!!!

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

My Spirit Otter posted:

im gonna make it a point to eat messier, smellier foods on public transit now. thanks for the help, op!

Wanna share my garlic-anchovy pizza? It's ok we can just rest the box on these 2 seats, dig in.

My Spirit Otter
Jun 15, 2006


CANADA DOESN'T GET PENS LIKE THIS

SKILCRAFT KREW Reppin' Quality Blind Made American Products. Bitch.

von Braun posted:

don't talk on the phone either!!!

personally, i dont answer the phone, but i think people dont like this one because you cant hear the other side of the conversation.

people dont get mad when 2 people have a conversation on public transit, but as soon as you cant hear the other side of the conversation, people go rabid.

Colonel Cancer posted:

Wanna share my garlic-anchovy pizza? It's ok we can just rest the box on these 2 seats, dig in.

i have some head cheese, if you want dessert

Saalkin
Jun 29, 2008

GREAT RACK



Always be eating. Can't stop. Won't stop.

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

You shouldn't sit quietly and stare at the floor like a shameful goon. Grimace at people, always maintain eye contact and speak loudly on the phone. Don't forget to keep those knees spread, a little knee on knee contact with strangers won't make you straight.

June 4 2021
Jun 4, 2021

by Pragmatica


Get on, flip out your dick and piss a perimeter line around you that you will defend its crossing with violence.

low key sex master
May 27, 2004

The human face is, after all, nothing more nor less than a mask.


So we have one thread where some guy won't let you poo poo at work and now you waltz in like some kind of jerk demanding we don't eat on trains? You two are perfect for each other go forth and marry and have weird babies whom you teach to do NOTHING because that's ALL YOU ARE

June 4 2021
Jun 4, 2021

by Pragmatica


deedee megadoodoo
Sep 28, 2000
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I, I took the one to Flavortown, and that has made all the difference.




Oven Wrangler

I will never stop eating Italian hoagies on the train.

kntfkr
Feb 11, 2019

GOOSE FUCKER


low key sex master posted:

So we have one thread where some guy won't let you poo poo at work and now you waltz in like some kind of jerk demanding we don't eat on trains? You two are perfect for each other go forth and marry and have weird babies whom you teach to do NOTHING because that's ALL YOU ARE

Yeah!!

*throws dorito at OP*

Mooey Cow
Jan 27, 2018



Pillbug

I'll eat my fondue wherever i goddamn please, OP

bitterandtwisted
Sep 4, 2006






One time I bought a sandwich and beer from the onboard shop and the guy let it go through the till as two sandwiches so I could claim on expenses. A true hero of the service industry.

The Walrus
Jul 9, 2002




I still feel bad about that time I brought pad thai onto a plane and only ate like a third of it before leaving it under my seat the rest of the flight.

Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006

What is Dungeons and Dragons?


There's two things I love more than anything else in this world. Eating on the bus, and then making GBS threads at work.

gleebster
Dec 16, 2006

Only a howler

Pillbug

As long as you don't poo poo on the bus, I guess we can call it a victory.

Ventral EggSac
Dec 3, 2019



I wish I had a train I couldn't eat on

Flergatron 3000
May 8, 2008

you look like a fool with those buns!

Last time I went on a train a girl sat across me, opened a large bottle of wine and chugged it in one go. It was a wild ride.

Yvershek
Nov 15, 2000

and there are no
diamonds in the
mine


I will now evolve a retractable mouth just for my train riding. I will find a center seat and then two fist handfuls of food into my gaping maw.

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Poohs Packin
Jan 13, 2019

My god, Winston, is that infernal sun still giving my buttocks that entirely too cool smirk?!


Colonel Cancer posted:

First world problems thread

trains are everywhere you internet having bitch

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