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Bicyclops
Aug 27, 2004

ah, welcome. in life, you saved over your brother's file in final fantasy 6. we hope you'll enjoy getting his file back to where it was in this custom port we've made just for you... with the Steam artwork and the Playstation load times!! Uweeee-hee-hee!

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Fungah!
Apr 30, 2011

Pablo Nergigante
Apr 16, 2002


Bicyclops
Aug 27, 2004

it's E3 all year long here in Hell, but if you're waiting for the Nintendo Direct, well... let's just say you'll be waiting a loooooooooong time!

Arrhythmia
Jul 22, 2011
Midway upon the journey of our save
I found myself within a dark forum,
For the unhacked PS5 had been lost.

elf help book
Aug 5, 2004

Though the battle might be endless, I will never give up
one trophy short of the platinum, all thats left is finding that one collectable you missed in your playthrough

Pablo Nergigante
Apr 16, 2002

Press F to Abandon Hope

Fungah!
Apr 30, 2011

Pablo Nergigante posted:

Press F to Abandon Hope

Bicyclops
Aug 27, 2004

why yes, you can leave any time you like. all you have to do is beat miracle johnson in a dance contest

Daikatana Ritsu
Aug 1, 2008

elf help book posted:

one trophy short of the platinum, all thats left is finding that one collectable you missed in your playthrough

Brutal Legend. I'll never forgive Jack Black or Tim Burton (I forget his name but he's the Tim Burton of gaming) for that.

Fungah!
Apr 30, 2011

see that light? that's gamer heaven. all you have to do is climb there...up this:

Pablo Nergigante
Apr 16, 2002

DEMON: So you like JRPGS, huh?
HOMER: Uh huh.
DEMON: Well then, have all the JRPGS in the world!!!
*time jump to Homer happily playing Trails of Cold Steel XVIII*
DEMON: I don't understand it. Tim Rogers went mad after 15 minutes.

Bicyclops
Aug 27, 2004

Did I make it? I see my custom controller, a beautiful CRT monitor, a pristine GameCube... This must be Gamer Heaven. Wait, did I press Z? I could have sworn it was R. And my opponent, why do his moves feel so familiar?

Leffen: Welcome, hax. We've been waiting for you.

Bicyclops
Aug 27, 2004

Pablo Nergigante posted:

DEMON: So you like JRPGS, huh?
HOMER: Uh huh.
DEMON: Well then, have all the JRPGS in the world!!!
*time jump to Homer happily playing Trails of Cold Steel XVIII*
DEMON: I don't understand it. Tim Rogers went mad after 15 minutes.

lol

Daikatana Ritsu
Aug 1, 2008

Always choosing the wrong path in a dungeon, seeing a treasure that's down the other path, then finding out the path you were originally on leads to a dead end anyway.

Fungah!
Apr 30, 2011

every treasure chest in gamer hell has a piece of gear that you just spent all your cash on in the previous town

Pablo Nergigante
Apr 16, 2002

Hell is: afterlife; torture-grade eternal punishment; sin-blended, multi-mode competitive suffering; meta-growth, no choice + epic demon Heroes!

Fungah!
Apr 30, 2011

Pablo Nergigante posted:

Hell is: afterlife; torture-grade eternal punishment; sin-blended, multi-mode competitive suffering; meta-growth, no choice + epic demon Heroes!

lmao

Average Bear
Apr 4, 2010

Pablo Nergigante posted:

Hell is: afterlife; torture-grade eternal punishment; sin-blended, multi-mode competitive suffering; meta-growth, no choice + epic demon Heroes!

Lmao

Kongming
Aug 30, 2005

The exit that leads to heaven is right there but there's a three foot tall barrier in the way...and you can't jump or climb :twisted:

Plebian Parasite
Oct 12, 2012

Keep having to restart the Boulder Escort mission.

Rabid Boar
Apr 16, 2020

Soon, all of you will feel my hate, and suffer as I have suffered!
All your favorite games are remastered by a developer you've never heard of that hosed up all the parts you liked and completely changed characters' personalities.

That Little Demon
Dec 3, 2020
Every chest is a mimick that gives no items or experience

That Little Demon
Dec 3, 2020
Numbers pop out of every enemy you attack

Bicyclops
Aug 27, 2004

Rabid Boar posted:

All your favorite games are remastered by a developer you've never heard of that hosed up all the parts you liked and completely changed characters' personalities.

wait a minute...

Fungah!
Apr 30, 2011

Bicyclops posted:

wait a minute...



lol

Pablo Nergigante
Apr 16, 2002

The ending of Ghost but all the shadow demons that drag the bad guy to hell look like Ubisoft characters

That Little Demon
Dec 3, 2020
In gamer hell, every rock band and guitar hero co troller has that wobbly strum bar and sticky buttons like someone poured coke directly on it

herculon
Sep 7, 2018

All the handhelds are Game Gears and all the AA batteries turn to ash when you touch them

That Little Demon
Dec 3, 2020
Every DS has a broken hinge in gamer hell

Plebian Parasite
Oct 12, 2012

Claptrap has been added to every single game

That Little Demon
Dec 3, 2020

Plebian Parasite posted:

Claptrap has been added to every single game

It’s called gamer hell dipshit

Pablo Nergigante
Apr 16, 2002

Arrhythmia
Jul 22, 2011

DooM? Well, don't mind if I d-- wait, no, no!

Plebian Parasite
Oct 12, 2012

Claptrap has been removed from every game

symbolic
Nov 2, 2014

you're allowed to do anything you want but every action is always preceded by a QTE...with no way of hitting the button

Bicyclops
Aug 27, 2004

the Witcher 3: All Shallow Water edition

Pablo Nergigante
Apr 16, 2002

Gamer hell is a slow walk and talk cutscene that never ends

Fungah!
Apr 30, 2011

hell is other gamers

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Lumpy the Cook
Feb 4, 2011

Drippy-goo-yay, mother-gunker!
Hell is where everyone else moves too fast for you to keep up with while walking, but too slow to keep up with while running

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