Fungah! posted:

Chuck Buried Treasure posted:

Your soul has just been damned no matter what religion you are!

elf help book posted:

Game Controllers only Future Repenters Used

Chuck Buried Treasure posted:

In Gamer Hell:

Static horse testicles, they don’t shrink in cold weather
You can’t name your horse
You can’t scold or praise your horse
Whistle radius doesn’t grow when the horse bond grows
Horse equipment isn’t fully customizable, not even the saddle that has golden pins or the hair
A Dutch preview said they couldn’t put dreadlocks in the hair of their horse
Horses don’t poo poo dynamically
You can’t walk your horse around
Your horse won’t jump onto a moving train
Brush your horses. Arthur makes remarks about the horse without regard to the horses gender
You can’t store horses in stables so you have no backup horses
Horses die but can be resurrected
Tell a horse to stay to end it's life
Horses can’t kick behind them. In no preview have they ever killed a man
Horses don’t have personalities
Horses can’t move sideways
Horses can’t learn tricks

FactsAreUseless posted:

Sober playing Oblivion

Bolverkur posted:

Geryon, a demonic beast with the face of an honest man and the tail of a scorpion, as it carries me to the Eighth Circle of Hell: Me and my friends made a game where you kill mutants by skateboarding

GorfZaplen posted:

Trash Ops posted:

you can only get bad endings in p4g

GorfZaplen posted:

-Jesus, The Harrowing of Hell

Hiraeth posted:

hey, yeah!! let's play!!

*two hours later

hey! What's the big idea here? Why does it feel like i'm watching a movie and not playing a g- wait a minute....i think i've just descended from gamer hell into the darkest depths of CUTSCENE HELL!!!! NO!!!!!!!!

*i break down uncontrollably sobbing and pound my fists into the ground (which burn upon impact because gamer hell is very Hot)

Lunchmeat Larry posted:

you think yourself in gamer heaven, playing the latest fire emblem game. only when you realise that you are recruiting the characters in the wrong order do you turn in horror, just in time to hear the faint hiss of gas flooding the room

Bicyclops posted:

the playstation 3 has not been hacked, not on any firmware, not ever.

Jenny Agutter posted:

Matthewtheman: wouldst thou like to recruit revers'edly?

Fungah! posted:

everyone's av when they're posting from gamer hell

That Little Demon posted:

someone sped this up....

ol yeller posted:

"You think that's a joystick you're using?" cackles the hooded tormenter moments before revealing his identity as Motherfucker Mike Matei all along

Sub-Actuality posted:

in gamer hell Morrowind’s alchemy, enchantment, and spellmaking systems are meticulously balanced to give the player character a marginal increase in power