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net work error
Feb 26, 2011

Ura!

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S.W.O.R.D. Agent
Apr 30, 2012

Shiroc posted:

He's not hurt just old as hell, right?

Khizan posted:

He’s 38, yeah.
But #1 in my heart!

pseudodragon
Jun 16, 2007


Shiroc posted:

He's not hurt just old as hell, right?

He is old as hell, but this is also sumo so I assume he's also always hurt after 15 years of wear and tear.

Fluffdaddy
Jan 3, 2009

Man all of my guys look like poo poo and I am on the cusp of falling way down the list.

This tournament in general has been some spectacularly bad sumo :/

Log082
Nov 8, 2008


Upper ranked sumo is an intense sport with intelligent, skilled athletes.

Lower ranked sumo, is, well: https://clips.twitch.tv/CreativeBillowingTruffleTBTacoRight-OU8TGPRibXeHVvpP

Thauros
Jan 29, 2003

Log082 posted:

Upper ranked sumo is an intense sport with intelligent, skilled athletes.

Lower ranked sumo, is, well: https://clips.twitch.tv/CreativeBillowingTruffleTBTacoRight-OU8TGPRibXeHVvpP

i thought kenho (on right if you can't read hirgana) was akiseyama for a sec. those dudes are both 33 btw which shocked me. kenho's listed at 204 kg and urutora at 60

some kinda jackal
Feb 25, 2003

 
 
I, uh.. I think my entire team laid an egg today.

Not good, guys.

Do better :|

Firebatgyro
Dec 3, 2010

Log082 posted:

Upper ranked sumo is an intense sport with intelligent, skilled athletes.

Lower ranked sumo, is, well: https://clips.twitch.tv/CreativeBillowingTruffleTBTacoRight-OU8TGPRibXeHVvpP

I always find it so weird that dudes like this have been doing sumo for a decade+ and never thought hmm.... maybe I would have more success if I actually worked out.

ullerrm
Dec 31, 2012

Oh, the network slogan is true -- "watch FOX and be damned for all eternity!"

Firebatgyro posted:

I always find it so weird that dudes like this have been doing sumo for a decade+ and never thought hmm.... maybe I would have more success if I actually worked out.

He's from Shikihide stable -- they will take on anyone who wants to live the sumo lifestyle, regardless of ability. (e.g. Hattorizakura)

Shiroc
May 16, 2009

Sorry I'm late
The guy on the right looks like he's solely in it for the chonko nabe.

Its been interesting learning how so many of the top ranked guys aren't sumo-caricature fat vs heavy and ultra muscular. Like Hakuho wasn't bodybuilder jacked but he was clearly strong as hell. Tochinoshin was pretty ripped looking when he was on his Ozeki run for reasons that I'm going to pretend were solely from quality weight training. Takakeisho's decline started alongside getting too big. Hopefully the new wave of stables like Nishonoseki can help rikishi find the balance between size and performance.

Archenteron
Nov 3, 2006

:marc:
For those who don't watch the mid-card, a late Makushita match today (Osanai v Hikarifuji) was quite something.

e: Someone clipped it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IlWy4OCK7X0

Archenteron fucked around with this message at 13:01 on May 19, 2022

Shiroc
May 16, 2009

Sorry I'm late
I want to see someone bring back the Kotoshogiku hip pumping belly attack

Kenning
Jan 11, 2009

I really want to post goatse. Instead I only have these🍄.



Another basho with a lot of dudes hovering around the .500 mark. I this is an insane field for the yusho.

Day 11 standings:

Makuuchi
code:
39	Skjorte
38	Firebatgyro
37	Banana Canada
37	bessantj
35	Jobbo_Fett
35	Khizan
33.5	Thauros
33	MyChemicalImbalance
33	Tochiazuma
33	whats for dinner
32.5	Eli949
32	anakha
32	bartolimu
32	sivad
31	Everyones Favorite Poster
31	Kenning
31	Neodoomium
31	Takuan
31	Tiny Bug Child
30.5	Marching Powder
30	NuclearPotato
30	QuasiQuack
30	some kinda jackal
29.5	scripterror
29	Ice Phisherman
29	pseudodragon
29	Teddybear
28.5	captainblastum
28	Iron Chef Nex
27	Chinook
27	jmzero
27	Lid
26.5	GoatSeeGuy
26.5	Lexorin
25.5	Charles Gnarwin
25.5	Vargatron
24	Communist Thoughts
23.5	Netsky
22.5	MalarkeyToboggan
21.5	Crusty Nutsack
19.5	Fluffdaddy
7	Beeswax
Juryo
code:
37	Saturnine Aberrance
35.5	ullerrm
32	ilmucche
32	S.W.O.R.D. Agent
31.5	Pakled
31	Flinger
31	Robviously
30.5	KungFu Grip
29	Log082
29	Maigius
29	Scythe
28.5	Gaghskull
28	Brut
28	Kuros
28	ratmosphere
27.5	Liquid Communism
27.5	Shiroc
26.5	Boogalo
25.5	LlamaTrauma
25.5	Mode 7
23.5	Spokes
22.5	Biosys
22.5	Helianthus Annuus

KungFu Grip
Jun 18, 2008

the shimpans fixing it for shodai at every turn

Lid
Feb 18, 2005

And the mercy seat is awaiting,
And I think my head is burning,
And in a way I'm yearning,
To be done with all this measuring of proof.
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth,
And anyway I told the truth,
And I'm not afraid to die.
YOU THOUGHT IT WAS SHODAI, BUT IT WAS ME TAKAKEISHO ALL ALONG

bessantj
Jul 27, 2004



He is everything that is good and right in the world.

whats for dinner
Sep 25, 2006

IT TURN OUT METAL FOR DINNER!

Ura vs Takakeisho lol

Takayasu vs Takarafuji might legit be one of the worst matches this basho

bessantj posted:

He is everything that is good and right in the world.

:hmmyes:

some kinda jackal
Feb 25, 2003

 
 
Tobizaru robbed.

This is such a fix.

whats for dinner
Sep 25, 2006

IT TURN OUT METAL FOR DINNER!

some kinda jackal posted:

Tobizaru robbed.

This is such a fix.


was the argument just that the tops of Tobizaru's toes touched the dohyo around the same time shodai hit the clay? 'cause that's hilarious if so

bessantj
Jul 27, 2004


Archenteron posted:

For those who don't watch the mid-card, a late Makushita match today (Osanai v Hikarifuji) was quite something.

e: Someone clipped it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IlWy4OCK7X0

:chanpop:

Also what had Shodai done to deserve such loyalty!

Skjorte
Jul 5, 2010

whats for dinner posted:

was the argument just that the tops of Tobizaru's toes touched the dohyo around the same time shodai hit the clay? 'cause that's hilarious if so

I thought it was a blatant robbery on first watch, but yeah, this has to be the case. And it's a completely legitimate argument. They actually got that one right.

Thauros
Jan 29, 2003

Shiroc posted:

The guy on the right looks like he's solely in it for the chonko nabe.

Its been interesting learning how so many of the top ranked guys aren't sumo-caricature fat vs heavy and ultra muscular. Like Hakuho wasn't bodybuilder jacked but he was clearly strong as hell. Tochinoshin was pretty ripped looking when he was on his Ozeki run for reasons that I'm going to pretend were solely from quality weight training. Takakeisho's decline started alongside getting too big. Hopefully the new wave of stables like Nishonoseki can help rikishi find the balance between size and performance.

there was an '80s yokuzuna named chiyonofuji who was jacked. only learned about him in a prior incarnation of this threat but one of the greatest in history too, his 31 yusho are third most all time behind only hakuho and taiho.



Marching Powder
Mar 8, 2008



stop the fucking fight, cornerman, your dude is fucking done and is about to be killed.
Steroids really are incredible.

Kuros
Sep 13, 2010

Oh look, the consequences of my prior actions are finally catching up to me.

Thauros posted:

there was an '80s yokuzuna named chiyonofuji who was jacked. only learned about him in a prior incarnation of this threat but one of the greatest in history too, his 31 yusho are third most all time behind only hakuho and taiho.





He looks like the inspiration for E.Honda with how jacked he is.

Dead Goon
Dec 13, 2002

No Obvious Flaws



I think I missed Tochinoshin in his prime, but his upper body / shoulders still look pretty awesome even today.

I like Tochinoshin :D

Liquid Communism
Mar 9, 2004


Out here, everything hurts.




Toci has one good knee and will still pick a 350lb dude up and politely set him outside the dohyo.

Super happy both Tochi and Big Dan got their KKs today. Takayasu is still stinking up my team but my boy Tochi is gonna go back up the ranks again. :unsmith:

Jobbo_Fett
Mar 7, 2014

Slava Ukrayini

Clapping Larry
Tochinoshin is the best current foreigner

Thauros
Jan 29, 2003

Kuros posted:

He looks like the inspiration for E.Honda with how jacked he is.

like most american children i had basically 0 knowledge of sumo when i first played the game so something that just hit me now is that i wonder why a rikishi character in a japanese developed game ended up with the name “edmond honda” instead of a shikona styled one?

edit: i bet the rules of sumo is at least part of the reason why ring outs are a common method of victory in other fighting games now that i think about it

Marching Powder
Mar 8, 2008



stop the fucking fight, cornerman, your dude is fucking done and is about to be killed.
i am generally against steroids in combat sports since the cheating allows you to perform super human damage to your opponent. things aren't as clear cut in sumo as the most damage riskishi receive is when someone does a mortal combat stage fatality on them which is almost unavoidable with that stupid elevated dohyo. additionally, the injuries and the ridiculous schedule make ped's almost a necessity.

i wish i understood the japanese culture better because it's always seemed weird to me that rikishi can't use twitter and can't wear western style clothes but they absolutely can put a needle full of superman juice into their asses. it was the same in pride where it was in the loving contracts that the athletes will not be tested for ped's. can anyone shed some light on this?

Vargatron
Apr 19, 2008

MRAZZLE DAZZLE


Marching Powder posted:

i am generally against steroids in combat sports since the cheating allows you to perform super human damage to your opponent. things aren't as clear cut in sumo as the most damage riskishi receive is when someone does a mortal combat stage fatality on them which is almost unavoidable with that stupid elevated dohyo. additionally, the injuries and the ridiculous schedule make ped's almost a necessity.

i wish i understood the japanese culture better because it's always seemed weird to me that rikishi can't use twitter and can't wear western style clothes but they absolutely can put a needle full of superman juice into their asses. it was the same in pride where it was in the loving contracts that the athletes will not be tested for ped's. can anyone shed some light on this?

I don't think it's 100% accepted, because Kotooshu's stablemaster got reprimanded for giving him insulin in an attempt to increase Kotooshu's appetite so he would gain weight.

Shiroc
May 16, 2009

Sorry I'm late
Kotooshu had the ozeki career that Shodai would dream of. 8 year long wall of 8 and 9 wins with kadobans and the rare 10s.

Marching Powder
Mar 8, 2008



stop the fucking fight, cornerman, your dude is fucking done and is about to be killed.

Vargatron posted:

I don't think it's 100% accepted, because Kotooshu's stablemaster got reprimanded for giving him insulin in an attempt to increase Kotooshu's appetite so he would gain weight.

see this poo poo is wild to me. a reprimand for facilitating the acquisition and use of off-label pharmaceuticals to someone you hold direct power over seems insanely light to me.

Boogalo
Jul 8, 2012

Meep Meep




AFAIK rikishi used to have their own social medias but it was banned because of some poo poo Abi pulled.

Shiroc
May 16, 2009

Sorry I'm late
I assume Abi got the entire sumo association put in horny jail

Thauros
Jan 29, 2003

https://twitter.com/KaraOnza/status/1519003867702198273?s=20&t=VNEhzWQqJNWG1RpBUh7hPQ


i can't speak to how prevalent or acceptable steroids are in sumo but i can say as a fan of japanese pro wrestling they're certainly very commonplace there tho usage usually isn't overtly stated. there's a gym that's sponsored many wrestlers that is known for that, there's a wrestler that named a move of his superdrol, etc....

Thauros fucked around with this message at 20:29 on May 19, 2022

Marching Powder
Mar 8, 2008



stop the fucking fight, cornerman, your dude is fucking done and is about to be killed.
Pride mma used to have in the loving contracts that they don't test for ped's. It seems to be this huge blind spot and it's fascinating.

Apraxin
Feb 22, 2006

General-Admiral

Firebatgyro posted:

I always find it so weird that dudes like this have been doing sumo for a decade+ and never thought hmm.... maybe I would have more success if I actually worked out.
it's real sad, Urutora there (formerly Oshio) was even scrawnier when he joined, but just so agile and capable of pulling off some amazing stuff, everyone hoped he could pull a Takanoyama and make it up the top divisions :smith:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HfS0iin-Hvk&t=37s

Shiroc
May 16, 2009

Sorry I'm late

Reading this it is hard to tell if it was a joke, hazing, or a little light bondage play between boys.

Apraxin
Feb 22, 2006

General-Admiral
Epic bro prank, i think.
https://twitter.com/SumoFollower/status/1192494838928809986

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KungFu Grip
Jun 18, 2008

so just some dumb frat boy poo poo duct taping each other

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