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Literally A Person
May 17, 2017


I am confused and disoriented,
but now I have and this wonderful avatar


and as you go to blot it up with some toilet paper you notice every time you push down then let up on the padding it soaks up a little bit of your pee. No matter what you do this thing is just sort of slowly filling with piss and you know, JUST KNOW, the next person who puts their body weight on it is going to squeeze out all the piss you've now incorporated into the padding. They'll know you're a seat pisser and they'll tell everyone. EVERYONE. EVERYONE.

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Arrrthritis
May 31, 2007



i'm going to poo poo in the sink as a distraction.

William Henry Hairytaint
Oct 29, 2011



Thank god i don't know the people who live here

Literally A Person
May 17, 2017


I am confused and disoriented,
but now I have and this wonderful avatar


Arrrthritis posted:

i'm going to poo poo in the sink as a distraction.

Rather be a sink dooker than a seat pisser.

Spinz
Jan 7, 2020



The bathrooms in hell are carpeted

Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD

It's their fault for having a padded toilet seat and I did it on purpose to teach them a lesson about absorbency.

dee eight
Dec 18, 2002

The Spirit
of Maynard



toilet seat? bathroom?

lol u must think i'm rich

Nigmaetcetera
Nov 17, 2004

Sorry guys, I'm just a donut.



Lol I did it on purpose.

ikanreed
Sep 25, 2009

Rise and shine, master leprechaun.





Oh no, accidentally subjecting an unwilling person to my urine isn't nearly as hot.

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013


DO NOT REPLY TO MY POSTS

DO NOT PROVOKE ME

I AM A DANGER TO MYSELF

AND I NEED HELP



This is why none of my toilets have seats, op

Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

~*Suck My Balls*~

Fun Shoe

Nooner
Mar 26, 2007

an A+ poster (:

i had a roommate in college who bought one of those seats for the downstairs bathroom because he thought girls would like it and like i dont know be impressed by the comfortable toilet seat he bought and the want to sleep with him? anyway all the girls that came over laughed about it and said it sucked and that we were weird for having the weird toilet seat and the rest of us living there all made fun of him about it a bunch. that is my padded toilet seat story.

Mozi
Apr 4, 2004


here he comes
and he's gone again


Nap Ghost

when you leave the restroom casually mention how wet the seat was already when you got in there

The Bloop
Jul 5, 2004




Ultra Carp

This is why I pee sitting down, OP

Pinche Rudo
Feb 8, 2005



I pee in the mouthwash bottle when I'm visiting other people's homes

BIG TIT LIL NIP
Oct 5, 2005






The Bloop posted:

This is why I pee sitting down, OP

sitting to pee is just one of many steps towards enlightenment

Literally A Person
May 17, 2017


I am confused and disoriented,
but now I have and this wonderful avatar


Mozi posted:

when you leave the restroom casually mention how wet the seat was already when you got in there

Casually but also really loud to make sure everyone heard you.

Chief McHeath
Apr 23, 2002



oh no i have pissed all over the padded toilet seat

oh no i have pissed all over op's mouth

oh no i have pissed all over the combination padded toilet seat and op's mouth

Literally A Person
May 17, 2017


I am confused and disoriented,
but now I have and this wonderful avatar


Chief McHeath posted:

oh no i have pissed all over the padded toilet seat

oh no i have pissed all over op's mouth

oh no i have pissed all over the combination padded toilet seat and op's mouth

Well, it's got a beat and I can dance to it..............

Private Cumshoe
Feb 15, 2019


Literally the entire loving world is covered in piss and poo poo op

Literally A Person
May 17, 2017


I am confused and disoriented,
but now I have and this wonderful avatar


Private Cumshoe posted:

Literally the entire loving world is covered in piss and poo poo op

I say this to myself every time I brush my teeth.

Really makes it an experience.

BigBadSteve
Apr 29, 2009

Self Defense
Nil Satanus carborundum

Yeshua akbar!
(Xtian anarchisto, no bombo)


*Slashes the padded seat with a knife, then puts my dick the slit and pisses hard*

AHH F/UGH
May 25, 2002



https://twitter.com/immrdoom/status/1406475928851599360?s=20

POV: Padded toilet seat owner with fingernail nubs responds to grooming sex pest

Literally A Person
May 17, 2017


I am confused and disoriented,
but now I have and this wonderful avatar


AHH F/UGH posted:

https://twitter.com/immrdoom/status/1406475928851599360?s=20

POV: Padded toilet seat owner with fingernail nubs responds to grooming sex pest

You can see the brown rim around the bottom of the pad. It is rimmed with human poo poo. WHY?

Nigmaetcetera
Nov 17, 2004

Sorry guys, I'm just a donut.



Literally A Person posted:

You can see the brown rim around the bottom of the pad. It is rimmed with human poo poo. WHY?

Grandma’s eyesight is failing, and she lost her sense of smell some time around Super Bowl Sunday, 1995.

Das Boo
Jun 9, 2011

There was a GHOST here. It's gone now.




*Stares at the padding, willing it to absorb*

Full Metal Jackass
Jan 22, 2001

Rabid bats are welcome in my home


A mattress but it's made out of padded toilet seat material

Literally A Person
May 17, 2017


I am confused and disoriented,
but now I have and this wonderful avatar


Full Metal Jackass posted:

A mattress but it's made out of padded toilet seat material

NO!

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

Spreading your urine shows dominance

Fritz the Horse
Dec 26, 2019

... of course!

wtf who has padded toilet seats. thats weird

seems unhygienic

also I feel like... if the seat is padded and comfortable what if I fall asleep taking a poo poo?? just doze off droppin a deuce

Literally A Person
May 17, 2017


I am confused and disoriented,
but now I have and this wonderful avatar


Fritz the Horse posted:

wtf who has padded toilet seats. thats weird

seems unhygienic

also I feel like... if the seat is padded and comfortable what if I fall asleep taking a poo poo?? just doze off droppin a deuce

That just sounds relaxing

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

You know what's warm, soft and relaxing?! Pants! Why else do you think is pooping your pants the new sensation taking over the nation?!?

Das Boo
Jun 9, 2011

There was a GHOST here. It's gone now.




I have glued crystals to my toilet seat so I can capture the energy of my pee as hydropower. I then use the crystals as batteries for my j/o crystal, since this pandemic has affected us all.

Literally A Person
May 17, 2017


I am confused and disoriented,
but now I have and this wonderful avatar


Das Boo posted:

I have glued crystals to my toilet seat so I can capture the energy of my pee as hydropower. I then use the crystals as batteries for my j/o crystal, since this pandemic has affected us all.

Some.....uh.....some more than others....

Fritz the Horse
Dec 26, 2019

... of course!

Literally A Person posted:

That just sounds relaxing

my head nods. once. twice. three times

my eyelashes flutter, my eyes struggling to stay open. the padded seat gently yet firmly supports my buttocks.

i drift to sleep, blissfully chasing lavatory dreams.

plop.

Full Metal Jackass
Jan 22, 2001

Rabid bats are welcome in my home


A padded toilet seat kind of feels like the bottom mat of a ball pit and maybe that's why they're always filled with piss.

Nigmaetcetera
Nov 17, 2004

Sorry guys, I'm just a donut.



Das Boo posted:

I have glued crystals to my toilet seat so I can capture the energy of my pee as hydropower. I then use the crystals as batteries for my j/o crystal, since this pandemic has affected us all.

I thought you said you were ace once.

poo poo guess that outs me as a creep who keeps track of strangers sexual orientations

SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001

Havin' a roni


I got diarrhea all over the padded seat OP. What do I do?

Literally A Person
May 17, 2017


I am confused and disoriented,
but now I have and this wonderful avatar


SLICK GOKU BABY posted:

I got diarrhea all over the padded seat OP. What do I do?

Just loving run, goon. There's nothing you can do. RUN. NOW!

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Das Boo
Jun 9, 2011

There was a GHOST here. It's gone now.




Nigmaetcetera posted:

I thought you said you were ace once.

poo poo guess that outs me as a creep who keeps track of strangers sexual orientations

I did. I am. But gently caress entropy, you know? Sometimes literally.

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