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Turn 14 - “This army consists of mainly Arms Dealers.” I’ve been trying for that joke for a few turns.  No battles today! This is good. If boring. And Madoka is already getting to work, healing that disease off Furiosa Wannabe plus an affliction off.. I think Growl? More on that in a moment.  Nya.  [04:33] j. (villain): consider that it has been six turns since my prophet died [04:33] BOT The Thing (1945): far cry 5 real???????????? [04:34] j. (villain): and hence i have needed to procure a new cat image [04:34] j. (villain): which will be revealed as soon as the turn ticks  Okay, now you’re just grabbing things from the fridge. Jokes aside, I will absolutely take this over the grenades. Regeneration is nice and this’ll do great on Growl.  Scales event, I don’t care. Maybe it’ll lead to something nice next turn from that luck, but default Dominions 5 luck scales don’t affect very much.  Ugggghhh. At least I still have enough for a lab this turn! Barely.  Which is good, because the fort is done. Right on time! Cassia was starting to unnerve me, and the effigy of war finally made itself obvious this turn.  As obvious as the Drebin convention can be, anyway. Back to growl! It turns out… resummoning units with the spells also leaves them with their afflictions. Oh dear.  But he didn’t really need that arm anyway. I’ll send Madoka along with him, hopefully she can find a new one in her pack or something. For now he’s getting the carrot and sent along to The Wetlands, along with the rest of my normal forces. Full of Hot Chicks, Honest is returning to my capital while Fio, Eri, Perche and Marco move to The Wetlands as well. I’m a little nervous about this, but frankly if this stack can’t beat the full enemy army nothing else will.  Their scripting is simple enough. The Metal Slugs are set to fire archers alongside the main force, Growl is set to fire and keep distance so he can keep shooting, and.. Wait. Eri, why are you riding an ostrich?  This is the promotion I mentioned earlier. Fun stuff! 5 AP19 attacks per round at a long range. She can’t use the pistol right now because she’s carrying that sceptre of Authority, but that’s no big loss. Going to refactor the scripting a little though.  Fire and Keep Distance should keep them from being obliterated by metal slugs should the enemy get close enough.  And I’ve altered placement to ensure that the main gunline gets the bulk of the enemy melee and everyone else flanks. Kinda. I still like forward placement, simply because it gets me more reliable turns of shooting and a chance of getting into range of the enemy mages. Furiosa Wannabe is taking all of my remaining recruits and moving to Bhamot behind them, where she can hopefully hold the line if some sort of weird sneak attack happens. And if it doesn’t, that’s still three more PD. Oh, and Tarma is taking another crack at Worldsteeth. I hate that place.  He has both metal slugs, and that should be enough firepower to clear it out with “Fire and Keep Distance” enabled. Recruitment and Forging is limited this turn. Bradley Bunch is forging a MOBS Guard, a nice little summon item that only costs fire gems.  And I’m recruiting one FCV and one Prisoner of War from my Capital and my Throne, respectively. Once I’ve gotten a lab up Isurian will only be making Hydromancers though.  Last up, our current situation. Note the Dedarag starting army still stuck up there. They've got a big capital stack, but I think I can take it! Probably. Every mage at once could be troublesome. Next time: War! Again. Bonus: [00:57] j. (villain): if my cats had hands i would definitely be buying grenades [00:58] Lukas: Can't you give them copper arms for that [00:59] j. (villain): a weapon to surpass metal gear... [00:59] nurpleDCLXVI: A cat with a copper arm could pet itself. Think of the possibilities. [01:20] Arcvasti: honestly a surprisingly large amount of the cats can shapeshift to have hands [01:21] JonJoe: Terrifying [01:21] Arcvasti: I mean it doesn't surprise me because I made them that way, but it's probably surprising in the abstract [01:22] j. (villain): yes, but then they're human-shaped beings throwing grenades as opposed to cats hurling grenades with their mouths and/or their magic copper arms [01:22] j. (villain): and whats the point of that
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Jul 20, 2021 00:51
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| # ? Apr 19, 2024 05:18 |
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A weapon to surpass metal slug would be a better joke.
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Jul 20, 2021 02:34
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this army consists of mainly estebans
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Jul 20, 2021 06:01
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Araganzar posted:this army consists of mainly estebans I'm not sure if this would be funny or not, considering the nature of esteban
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Jul 20, 2021 06:29
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Araganzar posted:this army consists of mainly estebans A tragedy of Estebans.
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Jul 20, 2021 09:18
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Araganzar posted:this army consists of mainly estebans Jesus Christ, how horrifying. I miss Esteban but he died in a funny and pathetic way, which feels like peak Esteban. He was finally funny. After he was eaten by British people.
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Jul 20, 2021 13:30
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I appreciate that the dwarf army is still stranded after its bump with Lemnos.
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Jul 21, 2021 02:17
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Night10194 posted:Jesus Christ, how horrifying. sadly they died in battle to an army consisting of manly estebans
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Jul 21, 2021 05:20
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Bonus I forgot to include in the last post: Artist's rendition of a cat with a copper arm. Ramc posted:I appreciate that the dwarf army is still stranded after its bump with Lemnos. I checked back a few turns and found out why. That's a bear tribe province.  To explain for everyone who doesn't have the independent recruitment list memorised - Each province lets you recruit units from it, generally the ones defending it. This also includes a generic commander type (and sometimes priest/mage). Some of the nonstandard poplation types will replace the generic Commander with something else, like a barbarian or mounted commander. Bear tribe doesn't get commanders, only Shamans - which require a temple and a lab. He literally cannot recruit a commander there to pick the army up. He'd have to get one there from another province.
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Jul 21, 2021 18:26
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Turn 15 - No witty title for once Things are going well! Better than expected. I’m not quite sure what Dedarag is doing. It’s making me nervous.  Construction 6! Lots of new tasty items. Which I likely won’t be using for a while. Biggest one of note to me besides the outpost kit is the third +100 research one, which I might actually make. Also a third and final summon, which I won’t be using immediately. I can’t afford it.  This is notable because it’ll trigger events. Good ones, too! Swarmhive's god is doing a service to us all.  We had a lot of guns and we flattened them. Weirdly the Soldiers focused on the enemy archers instead of the infantry running at them. Not quite sure why. Nobody died, nothing bad happened, and all is right with the world!  Except for the poor province defence. They're having a bad time. This battle had trouble rendering on my Laptop, so I’m swapping to wireframe mode for big battles from now on. Sorry for the lack of background. Future Lukas note: Expect this to vary a lot. This laptop does struggle with Dom5 a fair bit, but I quickly learned that I can re-enable backgrounds for a shot and disable it again. Most swapping will be to ensure everything is properly visible.  At least it makes Growl’s battle sprite stand out!  This battle was mostly just a formality. I was expecting actual resistance, though.. Weird. And the undead province has finally been conquered!  Stupid skeletons. The battle itself isn’t very interesting, I just clipped the mound king with a shot and the rest of the skeletons disintegrated while being blown to bits.   This is nice! It’s not huge, but it’s a cute little effect that helps me out in the long run. Arms Dealer number one gave me a rocket launcher, and I guess Drebin is busy because he didn’t give me one. Maybe it takes a turn after the lab is built.  Still silence from the Dwarves. This is.. Unsettling. Especially with that cap stack. So I’m going to force the issue. Furiosa Wannabe is going on a suicide run, heading to the Wetlands this turn and Dedarag, their capital, the turn after with everyone else. This should intercept any counterattacks, while the main force conquers Pack Woods and leaves this area of the map under my control. The more I look at his scales the more I’m convinced Cobald went for an imprisoned god, so I don’t have to worry about that. Just about being able to kill his main force.  Rumi is also going up to meet them, and she’s bringing presents!  She’s also set to Move, because otherwise the MOBS won’t spawn. But she’s under orders to stay behind troops and hopefully won’t do anything dumb. The effigy is also there for the fun of it. Next turn she’ll be leaving again, but right now she’s coming along to deliver that rocket launcher to Fio. After that she’ll leave, and maybe pop up again to bring more weapons in a turn or two. Marco is moving into the Range of Shadow again, bringing up the rear and able to intercept any little surprises. Back at home, recruitment is almost completely stalled.  Drebin is building a fortress in Isurian on top of the Palisade and my last 150 gold is spent on beginning to make a hydromancer. This means I’m not building anything in my capital this turn, for a good reason.  Base forts (Palisades) only get one commander point a turn. Recruiting a hydromancer takes four, and thus four turns. The upgraded Fortress has two, and will recruit in half the time. Because building the fort takes two turns, recruiting the hydromancer will take three - the turn the fort upgrades he gets to use both points to instantly finish. Every turn is important, and having him sooner means I can start making water bottles. Future note: I think this shot was taken before I cancelled FCV recruitment in the cap? Forging this turn is a fun one. A Crown of the Titans, which will provide some extra protection and let me lead 75 troops to an untimely death in a foreign land.  Madoka is returning home early to pick this one up, and it’ll let me use all my available forces to siege down the Dwarven fortress. Oh, and note my gem income.  I’m seriously contemplating just alchemising all those air gems, but I get a 4:1 ratio to turn them into earth gems. Bleh. Maybe pearls? Speaking of Pearls… I’ve altered my research after noticing something horrifying.  Something horror marked Madoka when I wasn’t looking. She literally teleports, so it has to be in the Wetlands. I’m not sending anyone named there again for the time being, and I’m researching a couple of levels in evocation so I can probe it. Because some horror mark sites are actually quite good and most are astral. Might not find anything… but what the hell, it’s worth a shot. Next time: Maybe the Dwarves will finally do something? Bonus - Oceania is going hard down under the sea. Ryugo Joe is not long for this world.  Oh, and Vespika and Lemnos are officially picking a fight! Although neither has talked to me about it yet ingame. Does explain why he hasn't attacked the dwarves yet. [13:34] AfroSquirrel: oh, cats and ants are at war? [13:40] BaronOhShi: cants
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Jul 21, 2021 18:52
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LukasR23 posted:To explain for everyone who doesn't have the independent recruitment list memorised - Each province lets you recruit units from it, generally the ones defending it. This also includes a generic commander type (and sometimes priest/mage). Some of the nonstandard poplation types will replace the generic Commander with something else, like a barbarian or mounted commander. That sounds like a serious pain in the rear end. And, well, probably everywhere else too, since it apparently means he can't actually use those guys for anything.
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Jul 21, 2021 18:56
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CptWedgie posted:That sounds like a serious pain in the rear end. And, well, probably everywhere else too, since it apparently means he can't actually use those guys for anything. He could have recruited another commander - or used that mage - and walked them up there at any point in the last few turns and gotten them out. At least, until I cut them off. Now they’re useless unless he somehow delivers a commander to them. Of course I don’t know this in the past. So expect more paranoia.
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Jul 21, 2021 19:00
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LukasR23 posted:Turn 15 bad news for beardbeard's one fan
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Jul 21, 2021 19:07
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Nice horrormark you have there on your vital unique unit.
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Jul 21, 2021 19:29
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LukasR23 posted:Oh, and Vespika and Lemnos are officially picking a fight! Although neither has talked to me about it yet ingame. Does explain why he hasn't attacked the dwarves yet. I polled the channel on whether to be aggressive or not, everyone said yes. Then I snagged the throne in Lemnos' cap circle. He grumbled about wanting me to surrender it, I said maybe. A turn passed. He mentioned a possible price for it. I said possibly! A turn passed. He started saying it would be war if I did not give it over. I said that would worry me. A turn passed. Then on the next turn the fort would finish, so I said: "Ehhhh, no go, man." And now he had to deal with me having a FORTED throne in his cap circle. Also, yeah, enemies who don't smack talk always worry me. What's a good war without a bit of dissing?
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Jul 21, 2021 20:38
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PurpleXVI posted:I polled the channel on whether to be aggressive or not, everyone said yes. Then I snagged the throne in Lemnos' cap circle. He grumbled about wanting me to surrender it, I said maybe. A turn passed. He mentioned a possible price for it. I said possibly! A turn passed. He started saying it would be war if I did not give it over. I said that would worry me. A turn passed. [22:43] nurpleDCLXVI: I guess a big decision like that shouldn't be made alone. [22:43] nurpleDCLXVI: What say my neighbours? Should I be aggressive? [22:46] Ramc: checks and confirms he is not next to purple what could go wrong, sure [22:46] Lukas: ^ [22:46] nurpleDCLXVI: I'm sure no one would just go on the internet and pretend to be my neighbour, so dang, that's two votes in favour. [22:46] Ramc: you cant lie on the internet [22:46] Ramc: its impossible [22:47] Ramc: go ahead and try There's a fine line between smack talk and "Revealing your plans by accident". So I try not to partake in it too much because I tend to accidentally do that a lot. Also I was told this was a backstab but all this juicy info makes it a lot funnier. But I'm fairly sure that fort hasn't actually finished yet, so I'll hold off on my impression of what happened until it comes up in my turn posts. Suffice to say I was keeping an interested eye on it at the time, because I'd originally hoped for a catstab before he got mired in all this.
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Jul 22, 2021 01:01
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LukasR23 posted:There's a fine line between smack talk and "Revealing your plans by accident". So I try not to partake in it too much because I tend to accidentally do that a lot. It's a fine line, but a good villainous scheme is just missing something if it isn't preceded by a lot of sinister cackling and implying that you have a plan of some sort underway. I'd rather risk tipping people off than denying my plans their full dramatic impact.
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Jul 22, 2021 01:11
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gonadic io posted:bad news for beardbeard's one fan waaaait...these guys have centaurs....they have a hell bless....their commanders are priests....you mentioned sacreds and cap-only sacreds...is this, like, underwater Pangea? Pangea Under the Sea-Ah? Should we be scared? also hey a month or so after this LP starts and I finally get the thread title go brain go
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Jul 22, 2021 08:01
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Araganzar posted:waaaait...these guys have centaurs....they have a hell bless....their commanders are priests....you mentioned sacreds and cap-only sacreds...is this, like, underwater Pangea? Pangea Under the Sea-Ah? Should we be scared? It is mod underwater pan, oceania has ALWAYS been UW pan, just in standard game they don't exist past MA because of 
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Jul 22, 2021 12:28
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Do they have good endgame or is there hope?
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Jul 22, 2021 12:34
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Life underneath the waves corresponds in many ways to that on dry land.
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Jul 22, 2021 17:06
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AtomikKrab posted:It is mod underwater pan, oceania has ALWAYS been UW pan, just in standard game they don't exist past MA because of man how have I not heard of them you LP Oceania players need to step up your game, maybe kill someone's pretender with underwater turkeys so I will remember you next time
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Jul 22, 2021 17:32
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Araganzar posted:man how have I not heard of them you LP Oceania players need to step up your game, maybe kill someone's pretender with underwater turkeys so I will remember you next time Underwater Turkeys would be like... sharks maybe?
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Jul 22, 2021 17:58
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MA and EA Oceania are pretty forgettable and sort of boring to play. MA barely even has sacreds and you just end up massing lots of uw hoplites who are not even great on land because poor amphibian. The Sirens are a little funny I guess.
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Jul 22, 2021 19:37
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are you able to seduce commanders with a seagull because if so that's pretty funny
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Jul 23, 2021 00:35
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Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:are you able to seduce commanders with a seagull because if so that's pretty funny Better. 
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Jul 23, 2021 00:45
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LukasR23 posted:Better. Yikes.
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Jul 23, 2021 10:00
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Wow, kept their fish tail on land and banned them from the sea. Took away their arms and gave them bat wings that don't even have claws. And what the hell, just so they don't get cocky being armless legless freaks, let's turn their hair into snakes too. is kind of a dick
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Jul 23, 2021 10:02
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Don't insult the inderdimensional god of dreams and madness just because you don't understand their ideals of beauty.
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Jul 23, 2021 10:46
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Turn 16 - Do something, damnit! Our huge research gets us the first two levels outright, and we’ll have the third before long.  That’s a boring name. Boo this god! The unit’s pretty meh too. Just another commander. Onto the battle!  Future Lukas: I think I just cancelled a THIRD fort? God drat. Runic Captains are Mage/Priests with S1, so it could have made all the key parts. Which is sadly uneventful, but there are units here! For some reason. I’ll show a few bits off, because this is our first time seeing the MOBS!   That’s honestly not great. But at the same time another shot is another shot and it’s only an accessory slot for what it gives us. On an ethereal air shield unit with 15 defence skill, so it can tank decently well. Future Lukas Edit: BaronOhShi posted:This might shock you, but that tiny satellite is not supposed to be armed with a 100m cannon and the secondary effect of a different weapon (for the Invaders aliens you may guess). I blame BeardBeard.  Unsurprisingly, most losses came from a single dwarf making it to my front line and getting obliterated by metal slugs. The other two PD there died on their own from being stabbed before the slugs shot.  The MOBS hit three times and did 0 damage all three times. It's not useful against Dwarves. Oh well! The Arms dealers have finally answered my prayers and stopped giving me grenade boxes. Another carrot and a medal of service, useful stuff!  Oh, and some bureaucrat lost his records. That -5 is permanent, but it’s not the end of the world. Or really that important in the grand scheme of things. Other than that? It’s time to march on Dedarag’s capital.  Fuirosa Wannabe is on 60% HP and thus will not survive to return to my own capital, but her sacrifice will be remembered. Fio’s been given a rocket launcher and Eri the MOBS and Effigy of War, and Madoka is also showing up to deliver the Crown Of Titans next turn - plus that medal and carrot I just had provided to me. She’s set to hide and retreat though, because I’m not bringing her to the fight proper.  80 infantry. Five Metal Slugs. If they’ve got all their mages patrolling this will go badly, but otherwise I’m honestly pretty confident. After this turn I’ll be heading to Hamane instead, leaving one unit behind to maintain and see if they’re going to breach with anything interesting. Bradley bunch is forging me a Nanobot Vial, which is the other accessory summon. I think its like a tiny air elemental? Future Lukas Note: Why the hell did I have Fio still set to cast? Oop.  Recruitment is three metal slugs and another FCV, and research will unlock Evocation 3 next turn before moving onto Construction again. Oh, and I made my first trade. We’ll see if this comes back to bite me. A turn or two earlier... 15:40] Lukas: Oh right in the spirit of neigbourliness you get first takings: wanna buy some grenades? [15:41] Lukas:<Grenade Stats> [15:50] Ramc: doesnt even look at stats i mean i do [15:53] Ramc: sometimes used in melee lmao [15:53] Ramc: hahah these are an incredible liability [15:53] Lukas: I've had one of my heroes dual-wield them and she's not dead yet [15:54] Ramc: does she have fire res [15:54] Ramc: does have FSR... [15:54] Ramc: anyway, v funny item [15:54] Lukas: 5 fire res, yes [15:55] Lukas: I've got a surplus of the drat things between the arms dealer and random spawns it's funny but obnoxious I'd absolutely be using them if I'd chosen to fight you or the cats or something but against high prot they're lol 15:56] Ramc: anyway what do you want for one [15:56] Ramc: too bad it is not a misc [15:57] Ramc: could give it to the bee [15:57] Lukas: 6E or equivalent in anything except blood slaves Because they're ten gem items and I need the earth for laser beams [15:57] Ramc: when i gin up enough spare earth will let you know then, finally site searching [15:57] Lukas: noted I'll reserve one for you but be aware I'm sending the offer out globally as of this turn too [04:16] Ramc: sending 6e for grenades [04:16] Ramc: assuming sale is still on [04:16] Lukas: It is! [04:17] Lukas: I will send you the grenade this turn seeing as we've got all weekend [04:17] Ramc: ok  Next time: Capital Sieging! Bonus excerpt from my chats with ramc: [23:22] Lukas: I think the funniest part about my mod in particular is that most nations have your jank be recruitable [23:22] Lukas: mine can be sold [23:25] Ramc: perhaps there is some commentary here [23:25] Ramc: entire metal gear solid sidechat about DARPA and poo poo [23:25] Lukas: only problem is that this is metal slug Not metal gear Having SOP on the stuff I sold would be some poo poo though [23:26] Lukas: but I think dominions code would utterly break if you tried to code remotely turning off magic items into it [23:26] Ramc: Yeah [23:26] Ramc: I can actually sell my novelty items but they are not THAT potent LukasR23 fucked around with this message at 14:25 on Jul 23, 2021 |
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Jul 23, 2021 13:55
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This might shock you, but that tiny satellite is not supposed to be armed with a 100m cannon and the secondary effect of a different weapon (for the Invaders aliens you may guess). Happily this is fine on my end and is clearly a domingler problem and not my fault.
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Jul 23, 2021 14:20
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BaronOhShi posted:This might shock you, but that tiny satellite is not supposed to be armed with a 100m cannon and the secondary effect of a different weapon (for the Invaders aliens you may guess). What is it SUPPOSED to be armed with then?
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Jul 23, 2021 14:25
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AtomikKrab posted:What is it SUPPOSED to be armed with then? An Ion cannon and the filler weapon "Harsh Language", the Ion cannon is just a weak rapid fire electric gun. Harsh Languages exists because if a unit does not have a melee attack, and is not immobile (In-game this usually happens when a unit loses an arm and can't carry its own weapons) in dominions, the game will automatically assign them the weapon "Useless Kick" an attack which does not make sense for some units in this mod, it also funnier.
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Jul 23, 2021 14:34
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BaronOhShi posted:An Ion cannon and the filler weapon "Harsh Language", the Ion cannon is just a weak rapid fire electric gun. Can any Harsh Language users cuss enemies out hard enough to kill them? (Would not put it past a mod to do this...) And those dwarves are NOT having a good game, are they? Every time they try to fortify, in come the anachronistic gunmen and tanks to shoot their mages to pieces.
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Jul 23, 2021 14:44
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CptWedgie posted:Can any Harsh Language users cuss enemies out hard enough to kill them? (Would not put it past a mod to do this...) How quickly people forget 
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Jul 23, 2021 14:50
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gonadic io posted:How quickly people forget And how could I forget something I never knew to begin with? Remember, I don't have this game, and can thus be reasonably assumed to know nothing about it.
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Jul 23, 2021 16:55
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CptWedgie posted:And how could I forget something I never knew to begin with? Remember, I don't have this game, and can thus be reasonably assumed to know nothing about it. Not to steal Lukas' thunder, but if you're interested in another modded dominions sslp between updates of this one, consider checking out: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3902681 E: that unit, who wields Cruel Jokes in battle, is from the nation in that lp. gonadic io fucked around with this message at 17:35 on Jul 23, 2021 |
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Jul 23, 2021 17:10
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... what???
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Jul 23, 2021 17:10
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Pladdicus posted:... clowns.dm is a work of art in the truest of senses
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Jul 23, 2021 18:41
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q: why wasn't the commander afraid of the armless woman? a: she didn't have any armies
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Jul 23, 2021 20:07
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