Genesplicer posted:

If I do this, can I teach Alchemy along with chemistry in my science class? That'd be great!

Scald posted:

Divination is something of a specialty of mine, but it's really not hard to get into. Look into the I-Ching, but I'll warn you that there's more than one way to perform the ritual. There's an easy way, where you just use coins and get a reading, and that works. There's another ritual, where you start with 50 sticks, take one away, and then remove 4 at a time until you've built your shape. I did that one once, after having found true north with my nautical compass, set-up my altar, and lit incense. I was also smoking meth. I got REALLY into the ritual, and I found that my hands started to dance in the discarded pile of sticks, creating new shapes that weren't in the book, and when I made the last one, I felt something...

I tried to interpret the runes and the reading on my own, and with the book, but they both left me feeling unresolved. The day after the ritual was Good Friday, and I was broke, so I went to the Mustard Seed for dinner. I wound up getting there an hour earlier, so I sat at a table next to a couple of elderly Asian men. After a little while< I showed one of them a drawing I had made out of the discard rune -- he recognized it for what it was, and asked me what the reading had been. He then looked on his phone at some sites in Chinese, and ultimately produced a translation of the meaning.

There was a lot in it, but the line that stuck out to me was "the young fox with the wet tail will know only grief". I immediately thought of my sister, and so I went home, and I wrote her a letter, and then asked my little brother for her address. He told me that her child had just died, the night before, and I still to this day wonder if I had something to do with it.

Genesplicer posted:

I would so do that. Seriously. I actually do mention alchemy in class. When we study the history of chemistry, we look at alchemy and how it led to our current understanding in chemistry. I'd have the students wear wizard hats during this lesson, if we could do that.

Das Boo posted:

Can I be a girl wizard or is this gender-locked on my skill tree?

syntaxfunction posted:

Where do Bards stand in the realm of wizardry? Cause Bards are the best and we all know it.

DeadFatDuckFat posted:

I am the Inquisition. So who here again has magical powers?

Colonel Cancer posted:

*flicks a lighter* behold my mastery of fire!

But seriously, fellow wizards, is a skeleton golem a construct or undead?!?

PookBear posted:

nuclear transmutation is basically alchemy

Internetjack posted:

Why are wizard hats always pointy on top? I get the wide brim; it keeps the sun off your ears and back of your neck when you're wandering the countryside on a hot and sunny day. But why the cone?

low key sex master posted:

Real talk this is why I love these forums because five minutes ago I never knew this and now some rando poster comes in and is like "oh yeah this is why"

I paid $10 17 years ago and got a Bezos level investment in return

super macho dude posted:

Furiously masturbating onto a post-it note with the words "hot socialist goth gf" mashed together into a sigil, while envisioning myself surrounded by a purple crystalline energy merkaba.

Yeah, I'm a Wizard

Ror posted:

The term chaos magic is really dumb. It's entirely based on achieving specific results with your magic using unique sigils or symbols. So... where's the chaos? Shouldn't chaos magic be completely unpredictable and subject to wild changes?

Diogenes is the true pioneer of chaos magic. I practice chaos magic by furiously masturbating in public while singing Wesley Willis songs.

Yaldabaoth posted:

That's dumb, a true embodiment of chaos would murder the gods and topple their thrones.

Fur20 posted:

to be quite honest with you a lot of magic terminology is seriously outdated. it would be like if we never came up with new names for standardized measurements and just called meters staves or some poo poo. in actuality it has to do with managing quantum states and poo poo. light from the sun for example is a type of naturally occurring chaos magic

Lobotomy Bob posted:

I've been doing the abramelin for a really long time now. I'm pretty much out of rice and I don't think it's working. Suggestions?

McGavin posted:

SilvergunSuperman posted:

can someone break down sorcerer vs wizard vs magician for me?

Blurry Gray Thing posted:

The Magi are Zoroastrians. Zoroastrianism was never a very big faith, so they're not the ones who wrote the things that had such a big influence on modern western society. So that means they're a very strange group of people with very strange traditions and secret knowledge they totally aren't sharing with the public. Magic. But also they never caused much trouble, so they're not necessarily bad. They gave Jesus some gold and incense.

Ror posted:

sex magic AND bust

Weka posted:

What if I just like pointy hats? What then, smart guy? Should I let my calling define my headwear? What else should I subsume to your ideas about what I should be? My very soul?



E: Mage?! I thought you said a maga.

quote:

In response, the Wizard described his ex-employees at Christchurch council as a “bunch of bureaucrats who have no imagination.”

The Wizard of New Zealand is being removed from the public payroll after over two decades providing “acts of wizardry and other wizard-like services” to Christchurch, at a cost of $368,000.

Christchurch Council’s decision to terminate their contract with the Wizard, Ian Brackenbury Channell, 88, brings a close to his 23-year employment, costing them $16,000 a year.

Council assistant chief executive Lynn McClelland told Stuff: “The council has met with The Wizard and sent him a letter thanking him for his services to Christchurch over the past decades, and informing him that we are bringing our formal contractual arrangement to a close.

Deki posted:

That's a steal for Wizarding services.

Snowglobe of Doom posted:

Here's Alf's Imperial Army defending Oamaru's harbourside park from a Martian tripod invasion back in 2007:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IugKi9BEcZ4