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google THIS

nut posted:

Johnson and Johnson oops all tears baby shampoo

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FutonForensic

Code Jockey posted:

*gruff, stocky security guard guides my son into the small security office at the back of the store by his shoulder, instructing him to sit down*

I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but we caught your son shoplifting a movie. We're seeing this more and more with kids his age. Just desperate to participate in this... culture... any way they can.

*guard slides a shrinkwrapped copy of Marley and Me onto his desk*

Escape From Noise

Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. Doctor says, "Treatment is simple. Great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go and see him. That should pick you up." Man bursts into tears. Says, "But doctor...I am Pagliacci.” Doctor says, "Oh wow! You are so cool! I'm a huge fan! Have been for ages, but in person? Wow! Even cooler!"



Thank you Pot Smoke Pheonnix for this Kickin' Rad sig

Escape From Noise

Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. Doctor says, "Treatment is simple. Great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go and see him. That should pick you up." Man bursts into tears. Says, "But doctor...I am Pagliacci.” Doctor says, "Oh wow! You are so cool! I'm a huge fan! Have been for ages, but in person? Wow! Even cooler!"



Thank you Pot Smoke Pheonnix for this Kickin' Rad sig

barfdog



no woman, more cry


https://i.imgur.com/FLpAnfS.mp4

google THIS

Big girls don't cry, no wonder kids think their parents are lame

Uria aalge

Chi-la-la-la-lax
I was crying every other day at the drop of a hat before it was cool

you might even say I started the trend


Thank you for the winter sig, Heather Papps!


Thanks for the summer sig, ChubbyChecker!

"Nobody owns life, but everyone who can pick up a frying pan owns death" - Kurt Cobain

Percy Teatwillow

let us go out this evening for pleasure, for the night is still young

Uria aalge posted:

I was crying every other day at the drop of a hat before it was cool

you might even say I started the trend

the Ray J of crying, perhaps


THANK U Heather Papps !!

Gluehead posted:

i met snow at a restaurant once and i was like 'man, informer is a really good song!' and he just looked up from the bowl of french onion soup he was eating, mouthed the words 'gently caress off' and then he gave me the finger twice with boths hands, then crossed the two fingers to make a cross and aimed it at me
nut

Escape From Noise posted:

Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. Doctor says, "Treatment is simple. Great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go and see him. That should pick you up." Man bursts into tears. Says, "But doctor...I am Pagliacci.” Doctor says, "Oh wow! You are so cool! I'm a huge fan! Have been for ages, but in person? Wow! Even cooler!"

Code Jockey

69420 basic bytes free
*my hip and cool son comes down stairs wearing a The Cure tour shirt, his C R Y L I F E finger tattoos visible as he runs his hand down the stair rail*

"Morning son! Boo hoo hoo, am I right? Sure am sad today!" I exclaim, while I flip the french toast I'm making for us. He rolls his eyes

bad guy

it's so embarrassing when my dad cries, it's like, jesus dad, you're not cool, stop trying to be cool

Code Jockey

69420 basic bytes free
*I walk in the living room*

Dad: Oh, hello son! Check this out!

*dad pushes play on record player, the melancholy sounds of Bauhaus drift through our home*

Dad: Pretty great, right? I think I feel a cry coming on! Want to join me?

Me: oh my god dad

Code Jockey

69420 basic bytes free
*later at the mall, meeting up with my friends in the Cards for Death of Family section in the Hallmark store*

Sorry I'm late guys. My dad was being so crynge. So cryhard, you know?

nut

Code Jockey posted:

*later at the mall, meeting up with my friends in the Cards for Death of Family section in the Hallmark store*

Sorry I'm late guys. My dad was being so crynge. So cryhard, you know?

PostsYouCanDanceTo

biosterous posted:

don't cry for me, argentina, i want to be the coolest one here, please do not take this away from me

Code Jockey

69420 basic bytes free
Joe Camel depicted smoking at a neon lit funeral, leaning against a gravestone that says THE COMPETITION

a single tobacco-tinted tear escapes his sunglasses

take the moon

by sebmojo

Escape From Noise posted:

Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. Doctor says, "Treatment is simple. Great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go and see him. That should pick you up." Man bursts into tears. Says, "But doctor...I am Pagliacci.” Doctor says, "Oh wow! You are so cool! I'm a huge fan! Have been for ages, but in person? Wow! Even cooler!"

& also lol at this whole thread

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN


I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.


Bursting into tears at the very apex of a skateboard jump

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN


I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.


I'm here to kick rear end and cry myself to sleep, and I'm all out of sleep

Buttchocks

No, I like my hat, thanks.
Finding a bunch of wadded up tissues next to my son's bed:
"He's just practice crying. A lot."

Code Jockey

69420 basic bytes free

Buttchocks posted:

Finding a bunch of wadded up tissues next to my son's bed:
"He's just practice crying. A lot."

a worn and dog-eared copy of Playboohoo sticks out from the corner of his mattress

Escape From Noise

Well, if you're so cool, why don't you cry about it???

Escape From Noise fucked around with this message at 15:16 on Jul 24, 2021

Code Jockey

69420 basic bytes free
Thread premise, except in the 30s instead of now:

Instead of soda jerks, we have tear jerks, who for a nickel will tell you a tale of how they had to put their beloved family dog down due to rabies

"We got all kindsa cryin' heeeeah!" is the call that rings out over the Boardwalk on a cool Saturday afternoon, "we got dead pets, we got poverty, we got a guy who has a blind daughter who loves drawing pictures, and the pictures look nothing like what they should, but he tells her they're beautiful anyway! Come on in ladies and gentlemen, young and old, one cry for a nickel, three for a dime!"

SeaGoatSupreme
Ask me about fixed-gear bikes (aka "fixies")
Im finally cool thank u

google THIS

Code Jockey posted:

*later at the mall, meeting up with my friends in the Cards for Death of Family section in the Hallmark store*

Sorry I'm late guys. My dad was being so crynge. So cryhard, you know?

Buttchocks

No, I like my hat, thanks.
National Lament's SAD Magazine

Escape From Noise

Budweiser's new ad campaign featuring a night out with The Boys watching The Big Game and crying into their beers (Buds)

This Bud's for you, if you ever need a shoulder to cry on.

Escape From Noise

Miller fighting back with an ad featuring Cat's In the Cradle and lonely dads drinking Miller as they sob so hard their bodies shake.

"If you need a cry, we've got the beer Miller Beer" sung in a bleak dirge brings the ad to an end.

Code Jockey

69420 basic bytes free

Buttchocks posted:

National Lament's SAD Magazine

Areola Grande

it's a free country u pervs
pro tip: there are over 200 reaction videos to Sinead O'Connor's Nothing Compares 2 u on YouTube. use this power discretely in order 2 gain power and friends

Escape From Noise

Yeah, she's a huge crying influencer, but she got tear duct enlargement surgery, so it's all fake.

Areola Grande

it's a free country u pervs
pwned again :negative:



tyvm Justa Dandelion and Ravenous Scoot

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Code Jockey

69420 basic bytes free

Escape From Noise posted:

Yeah, she's a huge crying influencer, but she got tear duct enlargement surgery, so it's all fake.

what the gently caress

*throws away autographed kleenex box*

never have heroes, folks

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