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vanisher



New policy for serving staff: sing the "chicken crispers" song as the plates are delivered.

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vanisher



Chicken crispers are shaken in a cocktail shaker to allure the other customers to order them



Sig images courtesy of the talented Luvcow, Tiny Myers, & Death Sext

vanisher



New chicken crispers flavors:

- Ranch Fiesta
- Habanero Margareta
- Flame-broiled spice



Sig images courtesy of the talented Luvcow, Tiny Myers, & Death Sext

nut


removing all the other chicken dishes besides "soggy chicken"

https://giant.gfycat.com/MixedImportantIsabellinewheatear.webm
gb vanisher for summer

Luvcow




right wing darling pornstar brandi love casually walking by my table after i've noticed her doing the same for the other tables near me, "those chicken crispers make me as horny as my stepdaughter and her boyfriend made me in my brazzers 'startling stepbang' video from season 2 episode 7"

she drops a coupon for %50 off a brazzers membership on my table

Luvcow




frazzled and sweaty manager named todd looking at a walk in overly stacked with chicken crispers

nut


the stats are in boss, ur not gonna be happy, people are loving the soggy chicken

https://giant.gfycat.com/MixedImportantIsabellinewheatear.webm
gb vanisher for summer

Luvcow




nut posted:

the stats are in boss, ur not gonna be happy, people are loving the soggy chicken

darren just pm'ed me and said he wanted to tell you it's abhorrent that you're making a post related to the murder and consumption of a bird but he's trying to reach out and understand you so he supports you in your effort. seems like a hell of a good and understanding stepdad. maybe reach out to him and try to cultivate a relationship.

Areola Grande



garcon, 3 of ur soggiest boys pls. chop chop :wotwot:



autumn sig by Tiny Myers™

Areola Grande



Luvcow posted:

darren just pm'ed me and said he wanted to tell you it's abhorrent that you're making a post related to the murder and consumption of a bird but he's trying to reach out and understand you so he supports you in your effort. seems like a hell of a good and understanding stepdad. maybe reach out to him and try to cultivate a relationship.

uh, scratch that garcon. I'll have what he's having ^^^

nut


i've collated all of the customer feedback reports and they just demand the chicken be more slippery and they are mad that some of the breading stayed on

https://giant.gfycat.com/MixedImportantIsabellinewheatear.webm
gb vanisher for summer

vanisher



nut posted:

i've collated all of the customer feedback reports and they just demand the chicken be more slippery and they are mad that some of the breading stayed on



Sig images courtesy of the talented Luvcow, Tiny Myers, & Death Sext

vanisher



Just utter rage behind the 1 way glass as yet another blind taste tester chooses a non crisper based chicken as the better dish



Sig images courtesy of the talented Luvcow, Tiny Myers, & Death Sext

vanisher



Sam from marketing tears his shirt off and throws ashes on his head when a child chooses the mac & cheese



Sig images courtesy of the talented Luvcow, Tiny Myers, & Death Sext

Frances Nurples



just huck em at customers as they walk by. if they engage in any way, charge them for the crispers. we're not running a charity here.

How Wonderful!


I only have excellent ideas.


Chicken Slickers®: "Catch the Flap", select locations only

https://giant.gfycat.com/OddWellgroomedIndianringneckparakeet.webm
https://giant.gfycat.com/HairyCarefreeDachshund.webm



-sigs by Manafisto, Heather Papps and vanisher! goblin by Khanstant! News by deep dish peat moss!

Code Jockey

you can call
but I seldom answer after all




*it's 3 am, I'm sitting in a Chili's R&D lab alone, the only light in the room coming from my monitor; on it is a Wordpad document that says "CRISPERS: How to make better?" in 72pt red font*

*I bury my head in my hands, and mutter to myself, "think, drat you, think..."*

nut


Frances Nurples posted:

just huck em at customers as they walk by. if they engage in any way, charge them for the crispers. we're not running a charity here.

put them behind parked cars wheels hey u break em u bought em

https://giant.gfycat.com/MixedImportantIsabellinewheatear.webm
gb vanisher for summer

Code Jockey

you can call
but I seldom answer after all




*it's 4:31 am and suddenly I raise my head from my hands, gasping to myself, scrambling out of the chair so fast I nearly fall out*

*I run to the whiteboard and furiously begin scrawling on it, my eyes open wide and heart racing*

"Oh my god..."

*I throw open the lab door and run down to the prototyping facility,, and the camera pans to the whiteboard, where I've written "CHICKEN CRISPERS CUT INTO DINOSAUR SHAPES" in red and circled it repeatedly*

FutonForensic



Luvcow posted:

right wing darling pornstar brandi love casually walking by my table after i've noticed her doing the same for the other tables near me, "those chicken crispers make me as horny as my stepdaughter and her boyfriend made me in my brazzers 'startling stepbang' video from season 2 episode 7"

she drops a coupon for %50 off a brazzers membership on my table

Manifisto




to waitstaff: okay they are now "boneless baby back ribs." they were never called crispers and they were never made of chicken.

vanisher



Chilis sponsored reality TV show called crispvivor where contestants are trapped in a Chilis and compete in challenges. The losers are kicked out and the winners earn crispmunity. The prize is some chicken crispers.

vanisher



Country singer Garth Brooks makes a return to music with his new hit "Crisper Love," a track commissioned by Chilis for the new movie "Crispman," about a young man who gains superpowers by eating chicken crispers



Sig images courtesy of the talented Luvcow, Tiny Myers, & Death Sext

Khanstant

:d::s::h::c::d::h::s::c::d::h::c::s::d:

hey chilis,,, you want me back at your restaurant

step 1) unban me you cowards

step 2( get em wet, sick of them dry hot checken scrips, i want em wet n cold bnaby

nut


*shaping chicken crispers into the structure of a blooming onion*

https://giant.gfycat.com/MixedImportantIsabellinewheatear.webm
gb vanisher for summer

Luvcow




making a netflix series thats a rip off of stranger things except the weird girl loves chicken crispers and most of the action tales place around a chilis restaurant

Escape From Noise

Would an advertising executive
Understand where the homeless live?
Would he know about the bubbles in his glass?
Would the bubbles in his glass
Understand what the man's golf cart is?
Do they know you can die frozen underneath an overpass?


Chilis starts a campaign to convince people that the crisper drawer in their refrigerator is for extra chicken crispers and that you should stock up on enough chicken crispers to keep it full at all times.

Escape From Noise

Would an advertising executive
Understand where the homeless live?
Would he know about the bubbles in his glass?
Would the bubbles in his glass
Understand what the man's golf cart is?
Do they know you can die frozen underneath an overpass?


Trying to move Chicken Crispers for breakfast with Chicken Crispers topped with a fried egg any way you like it, a three cheese blend, honey mustard Hollandaise, Chicken Crispers tossed in their honey-chipotle sauce, topped with a fried egg any way you like it, pepper jack cheese, and the hearty habanero ranch Queso Mornay, or the Crispy Chicken Crispers topped with an egg any way you like it, mozzarella cheese, the Breakfast BBQ Bechamel sauce, and crispy bacon bits. But the customers keep ordering the Xtra Steamed Chicken Limpers topped with soft boiled eggs, and steamed spinach drowned in lemon juice.

Escape From Noise fucked around with this message at 05:09 on Jul 25, 2021

Displeased Moo Cow

The Journey BeginsTM


nut posted:

*shaping chicken crispers into the structure of a blooming onion*

ALWAYS remember, EVERYTHING tastes like chicken.



THE HEATHER PAPPS

https://giant.gfycat.com/WellgroomedImperfectHaddock.webm the vanisher

Code Jockey

you can call
but I seldom answer after all




*sitting in boardroom at Chilis HQ, staring at whiteboard that says CHICKEN CRISPERS in big bold letters, tapping my pen on my notepad*

come on man, think

we can save this

*spins chair around to gaze out windows at sprawling city below*

what do you need from your chicken crisper, world...

Buttchocks

No, I like my hat, thanks.


The Horse Whisperer inspired our hearts, but have you let the Chicken Crisper harden yours? Let's go crisper chickens, America.

Escape From Noise

Would an advertising executive
Understand where the homeless live?
Would he know about the bubbles in his glass?
Would the bubbles in his glass
Understand what the man's golf cart is?
Do they know you can die frozen underneath an overpass?


Chili's food scientist: But sir! These crispers are already dangerously crispy as is! I cannot, in good conscience make them any crispier! I'm already in danger of being called before an ethics board as is!

Mr. Chili Jr. CEO (grabbing food scientist by their lapels): Coward! People don't eat at my restaurants for the safety! They crave excitement! They crave adventure! They crave the danger of our Chicken Crispers! Now do what I tell you to or you'll never work in the food sciences again!

Code Jockey

you can call
but I seldom answer after all




the super bowl ad is a chicken playing Careless Whisper on a sax standing in the middle of a family size table at Chilis, really just getting into it

zoom out to show the daughter capturing it on her phone, the son jamming out, the dad looking befuddled and mom playfully rolling her eyes

mom: I ordered chicken crispers, not chicken whispers!

this commercial cost $10 million to make and $30 million to air

Escape From Noise

Would an advertising executive
Understand where the homeless live?
Would he know about the bubbles in his glass?
Would the bubbles in his glass
Understand what the man's golf cart is?
Do they know you can die frozen underneath an overpass?


A-B-C. A... Always, B... Be, C... Crispy. Always be crispy. ALWAYS BE CRISPY! A-I-D-A. Appetizers, Interest, Deep-fried, Action. Appetizers: Do you want appetizers? Interest: Are you interested? I know you are, 'cause it's cluck or walk. You crisp or you hit the bricks. Deep-fried: Have you deep fried those crispers? And action. A-I-D-A. Get out there! You've got the customers coming in. You think they came in here to get a green salad? A guy don't walk into a Chili's lest he wants to gorge. They're sitting out there waiting to give you their money. Are you gonna take it? Are you man enough to take it?

Luvcow




Code Jockey posted:

the super bowl ad is a chicken playing Careless Whisper on a sax standing in the middle of a family size table at Chilis, really just getting into it

zoom out to show the daughter capturing it on her phone, the son jamming out, the dad looking befuddled and mom playfully rolling her eyes

mom: I ordered chicken crispers, not chicken whispers!

this commercial cost $10 million to make and $30 million to air

Escape From Noise

Would an advertising executive
Understand where the homeless live?
Would he know about the bubbles in his glass?
Would the bubbles in his glass
Understand what the man's golf cart is?
Do they know you can die frozen underneath an overpass?


Code Jockey posted:

the super bowl ad is a chicken playing Careless Whisper on a sax standing in the middle of a family size table at Chilis, really just getting into it

zoom out to show the daughter capturing it on her phone, the son jamming out, the dad looking befuddled and mom playfully rolling her eyes

mom: I ordered chicken crispers, not chicken whispers!

this commercial cost $10 million to make and $30 million to air

frump truck

hello... again!



i did some research and there are chicken crispers but also there are crispy chicken crispers. chilis is really out there pushing taxonomy to new frontiers

frump truck fucked around with this message at 15:13 on Jul 25, 2021

frump truck

hello... again!



hi this is chilis. you can have chicken crispers or crispy chicken crispers. you can have hamburger or beef burger ham burger. choose wisely.

frump truck fucked around with this message at 15:14 on Jul 25, 2021

frump truck

hello... again!



ok so chilis marketing dept is just one guy who recently had a stroke

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frump truck

hello... again!



chilis host: there's about a 20 minute wait for seating in our bar area, which is the area directly around the salad bar. while you wait, we could seat you in our Bartender Bar and set you up with one of our signature Whiskey on the Rocks, which is a jack & coke

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