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Feels Villeneuve
Oct 7, 2007

Kanye West - Touch the Sky


bike

for people who don't know bikes

good nations to cheer for: france, belgium, italy, netherlands, kazakhstan, denmark, germany, slovenia

awful nations, boo and hiss at them: britain, australia, new Zealand, the US, any country which speaks English

the two types of bike races are indoors and outdoors. the outdoor races are good, the indoor ones are fake and only people from non bike countries like the UK care about them.

i think there's something where they race bikes on mountains. seems wild but im not sure if it's a real thing.

one term in a bike race is "peloton". it means "platoon" and refers to the army of dope testers which will hopefully be massing outside the Team GB riders' rooms after the road race


in all seriousness if you want an actual preview of the road race by an actual good writer check this out.

https://inrng.com/2021/07/tokyo-olympics-mens-road-race-preview/

the road race is notably hilly this year to the extent that it's liable to favor "GC riders", aka riders who would also compete for the overall win at a grand tour like the Tour de France. notably the fresh TDF champ Tadej Pogacar (Slovenia) is the likely favorite for the Men's road race, with Richard Carapaz (Ecuador) a close second

that said, it's not a mountaintop finish tour de france stage-some of the climber "classics riders" (guys who specialize in one day races, many which feature a large number of smaller climbs, rather than a few big mountain passes) may be able to handle the course if they've good legs. Wout van Aert of Belgium who is the most insanely talented fucker, is a big shot for this, as is Remco Evenopoel who is the most insanely talented fucker at everything except "going downhill without crashing" which maybe Quick Step should have fixed before they sent him on GC duties at the Giro d'italia

There's a woman's road race. Woman's cycling is cool as hell but the Dutch will win it because they always do.

Feels Villeneuve fucked around with this message at 05:29 on Jul 24, 2021

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Feels Villeneuve
Oct 7, 2007

Kanye West - Touch the Sky


also in all seriousness bike racing is a deeply weird sport despite "the winner is the first bike over the finish line" being the simplest thing ever so if you don't know what the bike riders are doing and why they're all chilling 15 minutes behind a group of leaders just ask

Lutha Mahtin
Oct 10, 2010

Your brokebrain sin is absolved...go and shitpost no more!


velodromes are cool

My Shark Waifuu
Dec 9, 2012





do the dudes shave their legs? they just did a close up of pedaling and those legs looked suspiciously smooth

Feels Villeneuve
Oct 7, 2007

Kanye West - Touch the Sky


My Shark Waifuu posted:

do the dudes shave their legs? they just did a close up of pedaling and those legs looked suspiciously smooth

yes

Feels Villeneuve
Oct 7, 2007

Kanye West - Touch the Sky


by the way the next climb should be interesting because the main tactic of this race is to avoid getting to the final climb with Pogacar in the leading group if at all possible. if any major players want to shake the tree this is a good opportunity (as is the descent)

Lucavi
May 12, 2002

Lookin' cute
Feelin' cute


always boo britain

Fragrag
Aug 3, 2007
The Worst Admin Ever bashes You in the head with his banhammer. It is smashed into the body, an unrecognizable mass! You have been struck down.

will belgium ride in front for the whole race only to choke in the final 30km again? probably

Coasterphreak
May 29, 2007
I like cookies.

why is it that just watching this makes my bad knee scream in pain

ElTacoGato
Oct 11, 2012


Do they ever crash into the cars?

There's just a lot of cars and they're all trying to grab stuff from the cars while they're moving and there's cars everywhere in this bike race and it's making me nervous for them.

No. 1 ANIME HATER
Aug 8, 2009

Did you know I hate anime please bring it up so I can tell you how much I hate it I HATE IT, please bring it up! I hate it so much!! I just hate that dang anime so much!!! I hate those anime cartoons from Japan! I hate em! Please let me tell you about it!

Team USA is god and life but also

Lucavi posted:

always boo britain

Fragrag
Aug 3, 2007
The Worst Admin Ever bashes You in the head with his banhammer. It is smashed into the body, an unrecognizable mass! You have been struck down.

doesnt happen much but it has occurred. I think a rider rear ended a car last year and flew through the rear windshield without much injury

Pantsmaster Bill
May 7, 2007



ElTacoGato posted:

Do they ever crash into the cars?

There's just a lot of cars and they're all trying to grab stuff from the cars while they're moving and there's cars everywhere in this bike race and it's making me nervous for them.

Sometimes the cars crash into them!

https://twitter.com/gcntweet/status/1393158997415444483?s=20

ElTacoGato
Oct 11, 2012


Fragrag posted:

doesnt happen much but it has occurred. I think a rider rear ended a car last year and flew through the rear windshield without much injury

Oh geez.

Pantsmaster Bill posted:

Sometimes the cars crash into them!


OH GEEZ.

These bike folks made of tough stuff, apparently.

serious gaylord
Sep 16, 2007

what.


ElTacoGato posted:

Oh geez.

OH GEEZ.

These bike folks made of tough stuff, apparently.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VHF9RRCuhPU

Coasterphreak
May 29, 2007
I like cookies.

i suspect the cyclists that don't figure out how to dodge cars never make it as far as the olympics

SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001

Havin' a roni


Peloton is a bunch of lazy fuckers trying to leach off of leaders.

ElTacoGato
Oct 11, 2012



:stare:

That guy seemed like he was going incredibly fast for approaching a turn like that.

(I hope he was OK in the end. :ohdear: )

SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001

Havin' a roni


ElTacoGato posted:

:stare:

That guy seemed like he was going incredibly fast for approaching a turn like that.

(I hope he was OK in the end. :ohdear: )

I don't know much about cycling, but seems like some crazy poo poo going on there. I guess he was probably reacting the car, but the drat near the entire shot his back tire is off the ground as he's slowing for the corner / car... Pretty sure he'd end up in the trees if he didn't hit the car though. :confused:

Also there should be separate medals for the drivers of the cars completing the stage the fastest. Combine cycling and rally racing (maybe with a speed limit) into one track.

Bip Roberts
Mar 29, 2005
One of those Mexican ladies was built like a full plate of mashed potatoes


Equator dude seems cool and it's cool for new countries to win things.

bvj191jgl7bBsqF5m
Apr 16, 2017

Í̝̰ ͓̯̖̫̹̯̤A҉m̺̩͝ ͇̬A̡̮̞̠͚͉̱̫ K̶e͓ǵ.̻̱̪͖̹̟̕



I"m the guy in the car the cyclist smacked into who pulled over and rushed over to move the bike out of the way

No. 1 ANIME HATER
Aug 8, 2009

Did you know I hate anime please bring it up so I can tell you how much I hate it I HATE IT, please bring it up! I hate it so much!! I just hate that dang anime so much!!! I hate those anime cartoons from Japan! I hate em! Please let me tell you about it!

bvj191jgl7bBsqF5m posted:

I"m the guy in the car the cyclist smacked into who pulled over and rushed over to move the bike out of the way

He's probably not a medic, so preventing there being fewer patients he can't handle was better than shrugging at the cyclist he can't help.

harperdc
Jul 24, 2007



Feels Villeneuve posted:

the road race is notably hilly this year to the extent that it's liable to favor "GC riders", aka riders who would also compete for the overall win at a grand tour like the Tour de France. notably the fresh TDF champ Tadej Pogacar (Slovenia) is the likely favorite for the Men's road race, with Richard Carapaz (Ecuador) a close second

Good work calling that shot

pretty dramatic final 10-20 kms of the race too, and was fun to see where it finished up. Women's course cuts out some of the extra loops tomorrow but still goes by the lake and winds up at the same finishing point.

Deptfordx
Dec 23, 2013



Bip Roberts posted:

Equator dude seems cool and it's cool for new countries to win things.

That race looked absolutely brutal.

Bip Roberts
Mar 29, 2005
One of those Mexican ladies was built like a full plate of mashed potatoes


Deptfordx posted:

That race looked absolutely brutal.

Most of my summer Japanese experience is walking from a hotel to an office like 2 miles and being drenched in sweat when I arrive. A 6 hour bike ride that casually involves going halfway up mt Fuji seems horrible.

SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001

Havin' a roni


I'm pretty sure doing a 1,000+ meter climb on a bike would loving kill me before I got a quarter way up.

PostNouveau
Sep 3, 2011

VY till I die


Grimey Drawer

I can't ride a bike

SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001

Havin' a roni


The smart money is on the guys on the motorized bikes.

Lutha Mahtin
Oct 10, 2010

Your brokebrain sin is absolved...go and shitpost no more!


im pretty sure i just saw a polish racer eat a burrito during the race. she just wolfed it down somehow using one hand to unwrap the foil

ElTacoGato
Oct 11, 2012


I enjoyed watching bikes yesterday. I am now here for more bikes.

Lutha Mahtin posted:

im pretty sure i just saw a polish racer eat a burrito during the race. she just wolfed it down somehow using one hand to unwrap the foil

I know who I'm cheering for now.

No. 1 ANIME HATER
Aug 8, 2009

Did you know I hate anime please bring it up so I can tell you how much I hate it I HATE IT, please bring it up! I hate it so much!! I just hate that dang anime so much!!! I hate those anime cartoons from Japan! I hate em! Please let me tell you about it!

Lutha Mahtin posted:

im pretty sure i just saw a polish racer eat a burrito during the race. she just wolfed it down somehow using one hand to unwrap the foil

Peak athleticism

Rarity
Oct 21, 2010






Lutha Mahtin posted:

im pretty sure i just saw a polish racer eat a burrito during the race. she just wolfed it down somehow using one hand to unwrap the foil

Give her a gold medal. It doesn't have to be for this race, just take it from one of the sports that doesn't count like shooting

No. 1 ANIME HATER
Aug 8, 2009

Did you know I hate anime please bring it up so I can tell you how much I hate it I HATE IT, please bring it up! I hate it so much!! I just hate that dang anime so much!!! I hate those anime cartoons from Japan! I hate em! Please let me tell you about it!

Give the dressage medals and water polo medals to our extremely powerful Polish queen

SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001

Havin' a roni


How many bottles of water do the team cars have for a race? They have like 4 riders on a team and it seems they are trading out like 3-4 bottles of water at a time... Do the team cars also have a stash of burritos?

Nooner
Mar 26, 2007

an A+ poster (:

Biking is how people with DUIs get around, not a spot lol

SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001

Havin' a roni


Nooner posted:

Biking is how people with DUIs get around, not a spot lol

What type of bike do you use?

Rarity
Oct 21, 2010






For these long road races I gather the bikers have cars at the back behind the peloton they can drop to for picking food/water but what happens to the people who break away and lead? Are they just hosed if they need to re-up on water?

Socialized
Oct 27, 2010


I reckon they take that into consideration. Dont break away if youre not capable of being without support.

No. 1 ANIME HATER
Aug 8, 2009

Did you know I hate anime please bring it up so I can tell you how much I hate it I HATE IT, please bring it up! I hate it so much!! I just hate that dang anime so much!!! I hate those anime cartoons from Japan! I hate em! Please let me tell you about it!

Rarity posted:

For these long road races I gather the bikers have cars at the back behind the peloton they can drop to for picking food/water but what happens to the people who break away and lead? Are they just hosed if they need to re-up on water?

No one holds 1st the whole time. And you'd straight up die trying to. You absolutely have to fall back for recovery no matter what.

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serious gaylord
Sep 16, 2007

what.


Rarity posted:

For these long road races I gather the bikers have cars at the back behind the peloton they can drop to for picking food/water but what happens to the people who break away and lead? Are they just hosed if they need to re-up on water?

Theres 2 cars per team and one of them will go up the road to follow the breakaway. Also the teams have staff on the side of the road at various points of the course to hand out food and water, and theres an official water bike.

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