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xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

Kraken should have named themselves something far more tame and innocent to fit their drafting style. Like the Seattle Krill or maybe Seatle Seaweed. Not otters because otters are cute and cool.

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xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

eXXon posted:

The Blackhawks need to change their name to something less offensive but maintain the cadence, like Black Hockey Team.

They don't even need to change the name. Put the space back in the name and change the crest to a literal black hawk.

The issue has always been the Native American imagery.

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

Chicago is a great place to earn a living but a terrible place to live. There is gently caress all to do here.

There's a reason we all invade Wisconsin every holiday.

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

grack posted:

Jack Eichel will continually force trades until he finds a team that lets him get that surgery. He will eventually be traded through every team until he ends up back on the Sabres just as the season starts.

Then end his career as a cap dumping ground on LTIR when the surgery leaves him suffering from boneitis.

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

Corporation only has control because he signed a contract that both parties agreed to. I'm sure he could break the contract if he really felt this was the one true surgery and it was worth whatever penalties the early exit comes with.

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

Jamwad Hilder posted:

Kinda find it hard to believe the guy leading his team in scoring was tanking games, plus the fact that a winger (even a very good one) isn't going to have that much of an impact on a game. On the other hand, if you tell me he convinced Martin Jones to forget how to stop to puck...now we're getting somewhere

Does this mean we get to rename the team to the San Jose Sox?

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

Well people with a gambling addiction aren't exactly known for their sound reasoning.

Has he ever gotten help for his problems? Or is everyone around him just kinda rolling their eyes at another dumb athlete.

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

FBS posted:

https://twitter.com/frank_seravalli/status/1421857250503712768?s=20

So this makes them what, a bubble team? maybe? if they get Good Fleury?

They just need to choose a backup that doesn't turn into a pumpkin in high pressure playoff games.

Not that they're getting to the playoffs. But if they did, MAF ain't the guy you want steering the ship.

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

This is the true cost of the salary cap era, GMs are forced to reveal their inability to perform basic math to the world.

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

Send Kane to vegas and watch him completely self destruct.

(but not really no, he needs help)

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

I've kind of had my finger off the pulse of things the past couple weeks.

Did Seattle's attempt at playing fifth dimension chess ever develop into anything good for them, or are they gonna be a shitter team with poo poo management? (perfect fit for the west coast)

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

Ginette Reno posted:

Regular box jumps are rough. I can't imagine doing these.

When looking up hockey workouts, I recently discovered that knee jumps are a thing and I tried to do it, failed miserably.

Not only do you have to be strong and fast, but you got to rewire your brain to convince your muscles that this is a motion that's possible. After a couple weeks I was sorta kinda able to pull one off but it's pretty abysmal how bad it looks.

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

Gomez and Jamal Mayers might be lost brothers.

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

Advertising is the real pandemic.

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

They're probably fuming that they didn't get more space to sell ads.

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

Zaroff posted:

I’d heard something about him not wanting to be on the cover.

He's waiting for NHL 87.

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

Watch Bettman work his HOCKEY MUST SURVIVE IN THE SOUTH magic and get a new arena built by next September.

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

Zat posted:

A thorough story on the jersey ads:

https://www.espn.com/nhl/insider/story/_/id/32049771/inside-nhl-decision-put-ads-jerseys

Notably the NHL is adamant there won't be more than one jersey ad because of "diminishing returns", and it was what the teams wished. As one would expect, fans can buy jerseys with or without ads as they choose.

Everyone make sure to bookmark this story so we can look back and laugh in five years when NHL players look like Times Square.

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

deoju posted:

The NBA has had single ads on jerseys since 2017.

But I'm still not convinced the NHL will hold out on multiple sponsors.

Yeah, but the NBA pulls in 3 billion more a year than the NHL. The NHL is the runt of professional sports and will always be scrambling for money.

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

They had to, 4K doesn't have enough resolution to render the razor thin structure of his actual stache.

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

That says to me someone in the Leafs organization has been watching Ted Lasso like it's a documentary.

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

It is pretty rare for a story like that to be 12 hours old and no outlet has come up with any specifics. Says to me the family is going the "leave us the gently caress alone while we process" route.

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

He's got some serious mental health issues so the guy needs help, but that doesn't mean I'm a fan of him. Past a certain point you gotta sever from the people that refuse to try to get better.

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

I like how both pieces of his red hot evidence is the same loving story, but one of them is in dark mode. Fuckin slam dunk right there, genius.

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

14 was also a major engine rewrite. Which I'm pretty sure is the one they're still bolting crap onto today. But at the time it was pretty swanky.

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

Be a Pro and spending the entire game blasting assholes through the glass is the only fun part of EA NHL games.

It didn't help that I never did figure out how to score, poo poo's more convoluted than real world hockey.

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

His entire tweet history is promoting conspiracy poo poo, they should ban him completely.

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

NES hockey, get on my level scrubs.


And it's modern remake which is what we all wish the orignal was: Super Blood Hockey.

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009


I hated that game because my best friend loved it due to being "so real!!"

And all I wanted was the simple good times of NES hockey.

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

The last time an apology got me out of trouble free and clear was kindergarten.

I guess that says something about the intelligence level of the NHL.

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

Ergo Propter Hog posted:

I think i will someday eventually possibly maybe consider apologizing to the person I tormented repeatedly.

The victim of the only bullying I ever did died of cancer some years later so I get to carry that guilt around forever!

Other than that I was the one that got bullied and no one has ever tried to apologize so maybe that's the standard for these issues. Stop being a wimp, boys being boys, etc, etc.

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

Sure would be nice if the NHL actually showed some backbone. Sure they'll talk big about being against bigotry or abuse, but when it actually happens all you can hear is crickets chirping.

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

Jamwad Hilder posted:

It's a junior hockey team in Nebraska I don't see why the NHL should be involved. It's the USHL or maybe USA Hockey's job.

Oh I had missed that his drafting had been renounced. So yeah I guess there's not much for the NHL to do. Except maybe get involved with all the bigot/abuse poo poo that has happened by active players.

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

Coyotes are the cockroaches of the NHL, when the rest of the league is gone because climate change regulations have made it illegal to maintain ice rinks, they'll still be in Glendale paying off LTIR contracts and losing their lease every other year.

Bettman's head in a jar will make sure of it.

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

Spelling Mitsake posted:

Tim Hortons Field also has no parking, so you have to pay someone 10-20 bucks to park on their lawn. It's great!

This is what owners mean when they say building a stadium will be great for the local economy.

Pretty sure parking fees keep Speedway, IN from being a ghost town.

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

Isn't that coach Jeremy's kid? Of youtube fame.


edit - if I'm an idiot that ruined a hilarious joke, sorry

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

I can't un-see that gif being Kessel with a mic on.

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

The problem with "religious exemptions" in the US is us yanks are absurdly litigious and there is a lot of momentum with the religious institutions. If you don't allow the exemption the chance of a stupid lawsuit goes way up. Even if you win it's less painful to let the idiots have their way.

And don't forget the public backlash, you piss off the Jesus freaks and they're gonna throw a tantrum about being persecuted and stop buying tickets.

xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

Why can't all jerseys be that cool. Modern product design is too conservative. :colbert:

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xzzy
Mar 5, 2009

Next CBA should have a clause of no twitter accounts for hockey players.

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