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Hell Yeah
Dec 25, 2012



Hi I just wanted to say that if your coworkers are making fun of you for hoverhanding a hot girl you work with in a picture, and saying things like i'm afraid i might touch a woman in this picture, that actually you should get a pass on this hoverhand because if you touch a girl at work you could get sent to human resources for sensitivity training.

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Hell Yeah
Dec 25, 2012



first post is reserved for respecting women

Schlong Connery
Jan 20, 2014

Pika-Chew


hoverhand everyone. do not touch others.

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015



Ppl should hoverwipe their rear end too. :shuckyes:

bird with big dick
Oct 21, 2015




FYI OP not only do you not have to touch people youíre standing next to you donít have to pretend to touch people standing next to you either you can just stand there with your arms at your sides or behind you or clasped in front of you or with your thumbs jammed up your own rear end or whatever you like really

Chrs
Sep 21, 2015



I have a rare condition where I can only hover hand. If I try to put my arm around a woman a force holds me back similar to if you tried to put two magnets together. Please respect my medical condition OP

DarkSoulsTantrum
Apr 6, 2011

this kills the crab

Sure, they're visually impressive, but a lot of posters find large avatars physically uncomfortable. Furthermore, the owners of large avatars often rely on their size alone and don't bother to develop more refined posting techniques.






bird with big dick posted:

FYI OP not only do you not have to touch people youíre standing next to you donít have to pretend to touch people standing next to you either you can just stand there with your arms at your sides or behind you or clasped in front of you or with your thumbs jammed up your own rear end or whatever you like really

Smugworth
Apr 18, 2003

Well, I've got brain damage on the side of my brain, and I don't know which side, left or right, where I huffed gasoline for ten long years.




But why did my mom hoverhand me in all the family photos :confused:

Schweinhund
Oct 23, 2004

:derp:   :kayak:                                     


wear an oven mitt, then you're allowed to touch

Inexplicable Humblebrag
Sep 20, 2003




op just made this comic as a thread

Zeluth
May 12, 2001



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkFGaJMSQyU

a hot gujju bhabhi
Apr 5, 2007

BOY DO I SURE ENJOY TRASH. THERE'S NOTHING MORE I LOVE THAN TO SIT DOWN IN FRONT OF THE BIG SCREEN AND EAT A BIIIIG STEAMY BOWL OF SHIT. WARNER BROS CAN COME OVER TO MY HOUSE AND ASSFUCK MY MOM WHILE I WATCH AND I WOULD CERTIFY IT FRESH, NO QUESTION

Smugworth posted:

But why did my mom hoverhand me in all the family photos :confused:

Why did my mum jam her thumbs up her own rear end in every family photo op

Elburroman
Dec 27, 2012


Chrs posted:

I have a rare condition where I can only hover hand. If I try to put my arm around a woman a force holds me back similar to if you tried to put two magnets together. Please respect my medical condition OP

(Flimsily maintaining a handstand, hover-gliding across a floor of perplexed volunteers) ďI, I prefer this! We could make this into a car or something!Ē

DeadFatDuckFat
Oct 29, 2012

This avatar brought to you by the 'save our dead gay forums' foundation.


This is why you always give the double thumbs up in photos

dr.acula
May 9, 2009

Billions and billions of fat clouds



Grab rear end and jam those fingers up in there regardless of gender

dr.acula
May 9, 2009

Billions and billions of fat clouds



Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:

op just made this comic as a thread



gently caress maybe I gotta start reading One Piece

Blooster
Dec 5, 2014

Yeah, right on. Bloody zoos, who needs them?


Keanu Reeves hover hands (Google it). It's fine OP

Pladdicus
Aug 13, 2010

"Sometimes life is too uncertain to have regrets."

never touch anyone.

DarkSoulsTantrum
Apr 6, 2011

this kills the crab

Sure, they're visually impressive, but a lot of posters find large avatars physically uncomfortable. Furthermore, the owners of large avatars often rely on their size alone and don't bother to develop more refined posting techniques.






Pladdicus posted:

never touch anyone.

Not even yourself.

I hoverhand my own dick when tuggin.

Yaldabaoth
Oct 9, 2012


Hell Yeah posted:

Hi I just wanted to say that if your coworkers are making fun of you for hoverhanding a hot girl you work with in a picture, and saying things like i'm afraid i might touch a woman in this picture, that actually you should get a pass on this hoverhand because if you touch a girl at work you could get sent to human resources for sensitivity training.

You got it backwards. Guys who hoverhand are not respecting women at all, they're trying to cop a feel without actually touching the woman.

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

IN THE GRIM BARKNESS
OF THE FUTURE
THERE ARE ONLY DOGS



Nap Ghost

I used to hoverhand in my awkward youth but after learning how cringe it was I stopped. If someone is willing to stand close to you in a photo that means they are probably okay with limited and respectful personal contact. I have put my hand on the shoulders of several coworkers while posing for photos over the years and have suffered no negative consequences.

runnypoops
Mar 26, 2016

been there. done that. prove yourself to me.

Hoverhand my dick

zedprime
Jun 9, 2007

yospos


Yaldabaoth posted:

You got it backwards. Guys who hoverhand are not respecting women at all, they're trying to cop a feel without actually touching the woman.
Because of that once you start hover handing you can't go back. Now everyone knows you get off on touching women because you try to restrain yourself without anybody noticing.

OP should probably just shove his thumb up his rear end so everyone wins.

Robin Williams
Aug 11, 2018

by Fluffdaddy


Never hoverhanded you can touch people non-sexually, who knows what your problem is

Robin Williams fucked around with this message at 14:51 on Jul 27, 2021

DarkSoulsTantrum
Apr 6, 2011

this kills the crab

Sure, they're visually impressive, but a lot of posters find large avatars physically uncomfortable. Furthermore, the owners of large avatars often rely on their size alone and don't bother to develop more refined posting techniques.






Just grab em by the pussy, dick, whatever they got, the rules donít apply anymore and everything sucks.

Ventral EggSac
Dec 3, 2019



Hover handing people is unlicensed reiki, you're loving up their chakras

Lascivious Sloth
Apr 26, 2008



I like to hover dick my balls

Robin Williams
Aug 11, 2018

by Fluffdaddy


Ventral EggSac posted:

Hover handing people is unlicensed reiki, you're loving up their chakras

I thought Jarred was jut a pedophile but hes also a Chakra leach

Common western phrase

Brother Tadger
Feb 15, 2012

I'm accidentally a suicide bomber!


I learned how to hover hand from David Blaine. He called it ďlevitationĒ or some other PC bullshit but I think we are all mature enough here to read between the lines

vyst
Aug 25, 2009





I think its gross to be in enough proximity of another person to have to make this decision

DeadFatDuckFat
Oct 29, 2012

This avatar brought to you by the 'save our dead gay forums' foundation.


If theres more than 2 people in the photo you don't need to touch anyone. Just drag a third coworker into your photos

DickParasite
Dec 2, 2004




Slippery Tilde

Never touch anyone at work. Maintain formality at all costs. Better to be thought of as aloof than to listen to your co-worker drone on about their personal life. Take your lunches at your desk, with your headphones on. Fill your Outlook Calendar with fake meetings so it looks like you're always busy. If someone invites you out to drinks, tell them you have church. Always church.

Robin Williams
Aug 11, 2018

by Fluffdaddy


Imagine touching a person and they were repulsed

MOST people seem to know how not to do that and still touch people because they are normal

Brother Tadger
Feb 15, 2012

I'm accidentally a suicide bomber!


Robin Williams posted:

Imagine touching a person and they were repulsed

MOST people seem to know how not to do that and still touch people because they are normal

We are still repulsed, we just donít let you know because we are worried you will retaliate against us. Hth

Robin Williams
Aug 11, 2018

by Fluffdaddy


1redflag posted:

We are still repulsed, we just donít let you know because we are worried you will retaliate against us. Hth

Im pretty sure I know my friends, but thanks for being over-reactive and lovely about it.

Strategic Tea
Sep 1, 2012

It's not the red form anymore.
Incidental bones can file under the greens.


MAINTAIN SOCIAL DISTANCING op you are so irresponsible i can't believe some people just can't make the smallest sacrifices i haven't left my house since march when jayden and maylee had to go to the doctor and...

Yaldabaoth
Oct 9, 2012


DarkSoulsTantrum posted:

Just grab em by the pussy, dick, whatever they got, the rules donít apply anymore and everything sucks.

Correction: Everything sucks because the rules say things are suppose to suck and trying to change things is an abomination.

Saalkin
Jun 29, 2008




DeadFatDuckFat posted:

This is why you always give the double thumbs up in photos

Double shocker instead.

Brother Tadger
Feb 15, 2012

I'm accidentally a suicide bomber!


Robin Williams posted:

Im pretty sure I know my friends, but thanks for being over-reactive and lovely about it.

:ironicat:

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Smugworth
Apr 18, 2003

Well, I've got brain damage on the side of my brain, and I don't know which side, left or right, where I huffed gasoline for ten long years.




DarkSoulsTantrum posted:

Just grab em by the pussy, dick, whatever they got, the rules don’t apply anymore and everything sucks.

*grabs your gonopods and milks them tenderly for the camera*

Say cheese!

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