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Man, I'm trying to keep my axes sharp but with all this humidity rust is a constant issue!
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Jul 30, 2021 06:44
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Someone keeps eating my lunch from the breakroom fridge. Lookin’ at you, gelatinous cube.
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Jul 30, 2021 06:57
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I keep mistyping Turbop in the Terbp threads because of my hideous monster paws and now everyone is copying it to mock me 
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Jul 30, 2021 07:11
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anyone else ever notice that none of the dungeon police live in the dungeon?
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Jul 30, 2021 08:44
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I need fresh pigs balls for my potions, anyone got some fresh pigs balls for me?
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Jul 30, 2021 08:52
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Can we send out some maps to attract wizard adventurers? All these brains taste like bro.
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Jul 30, 2021 09:00
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Lascivious Sloth posted:I need fresh pigs balls for my potions, anyone got some fresh pigs balls for me? They breed quickly down there in the dark...
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Jul 30, 2021 09:02
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I know you guys love killing and eating adventurers, but leave some for the rest of us. Some monsters are turning to eating other monsters, like some kind of savages, because there's not enough adventurers making it past the lobby.
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Jul 30, 2021 09:15
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Giraffe posted:The last wizard I encountered was a huge perv and he cast a “dick hydra” spell on me. Now I have way too many dicks. Does anyone know a “only one dick please” spell? Hey guys I’ve also noticed that there are too many godamn dicks down here. What if we start charging 10 gold to let people in?
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Jul 30, 2021 09:21
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I guard that room with the cursed skull that has giant mangosteens embedded in the eye sockets.
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Jul 30, 2021 09:42
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I stand guard at the threshold to my master's domain. Your thief fails his roll and I catch him in the shadows attempting to sneak past me into my master's domain. I hold up my enormous marble golem's palm. "Bitch behave." I bellow. I point down the threshold into the waiting darkness and intone "Might just let you meet Ye."
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Jul 30, 2021 09:49
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Geemer posted:I know you guys love killing and eating adventurers, but leave some for the rest of us. That's just the result of charm spells, noob.
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Jul 30, 2021 10:01
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*tugs*
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Jul 30, 2021 10:06
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Two goons guard two doors: One leads further into the dungeon and the other to certain death. One goon tells only the truth while the other tells only lies. You may ask but one question. Adventurer: What's that smell? Goon 1: I don't smell anything. Goon 2: He poo poo his pants. Funky See Funky Do fucked around with this message at 10:19 on Jul 30, 2021 |
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Jul 30, 2021 10:16
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I NEED FRIGN PIGS BALLS FOR MY POTIONS
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Jul 30, 2021 10:18
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kill self
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Jul 30, 2021 10:22
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Hi, level eight and a half Goblin Beetlemancer here. I got a question, sir. Where are the loving toilets in this dungeon?!? Seriously, this is the sixth dungeon I am gainfully employed in and on no plan did I ever see a single restroom? That's hosed up, dungeon masters! Also! What's up with all the bloody traps? If I have to go outside during the night to take a poo poo in the woods (see the previous question), how am I supposed to remember that the sixty-eight cracked floor panel in the labyrinth of fate section releases a stream of angry bees that are on fire and that the door handle to the crystalorium of doom ~which I have to pass through for no discernable reason~ shoots poisonous darts into my eyeballs ... and regular balls. I have been cursed twice already by washing my swollen balls in the pool of reflection, which of course is trapped on days starting with M, S and Q. This is not ok! Tarquinn fucked around with this message at 11:56 on Jul 30, 2021 |
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Jul 30, 2021 10:30
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Hey boss, I'm a friggin ghoul, why do i have to carry these gold pieces on me? There aren't even any shops in this dungeon! Adventurers already beat me up for the XP, there's no need add a financial incentive too
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Jul 30, 2021 10:38
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Does nobody read the memos? Those are not gold pieces those are bathroom tokens that you need to have on your person at all times because a certain beetlemancer complained to the dungeon master about the toilet situation. Everyone else was happy to just poo poo their pants while on duty but apparently some monsters feel that they're too good for that. So, that's why you need to carry them around.
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Jul 30, 2021 10:45
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Well I hope heroes like making GBS threads because they now have 25 tokens and I have a sword in my face
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Jul 30, 2021 11:03
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Can we get some swag with team colors? Like some nice cotton jersey polos and maybe pants? These loincloth things are both chafing and demeaning.
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Jul 30, 2021 11:07
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i am a slime. i move one cell north.
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Jul 30, 2021 11:19
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eye of the pee holder
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Jul 30, 2021 11:27
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Gasmask posted:i am a slime. i move one cell north. Dude! Occupado! I'm trying to poop while on the clock here!
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Jul 30, 2021 11:32
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Hell Yeah posted:eye of the pee holder  ah yes, the eyeball
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Jul 30, 2021 11:37
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Guys, can we please have some respect for our fellow monsters. Yes, I am a Vampire who happens to have a crack addiction, this does not make me a "Crackula". On an unrelated note, does anybody have any crack?
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Jul 30, 2021 11:37
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I'm not racist okay? Some of my best friends are ox-headed demons. They're good and reliable enforcers. But I'm just saying. Ox-headed demons, okay? It's like they've never loving even heard of germs. I've never once seen any of those fuckers wash their hands ... cloven hand-appendages, like at all. Ever.
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Jul 30, 2021 11:39
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jazzyhattrick posted:Guys, can we please have some respect for our fellow monsters. 8-balls, ah ah ah
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Jul 30, 2021 12:01
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Giraffe posted:The last wizard I encountered was a huge perv and he cast a “dick hydra” spell on me. Now I have way too many dicks. Does anyone know a “only one dick please” spell? Casts dick shrivel on u, very carefully
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Jul 30, 2021 12:12
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We should go and tighten the fit on the doors in this place so adventurers can't just piton them shut. Oh did anyone see that guy with the whip? Haha, I'm gonna go kill him while he gently tickles me.
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Jul 30, 2021 12:24
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i am the scrunt
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Jul 30, 2021 12:36
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Can we get some real cleaning equipment? Every God drat thing in the janitor's closet is a loving mimic and they keep biting me. We can't leave this place a mess after an adventurer passes by, it isn't a loving barn.
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Jul 30, 2021 12:37
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Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:i am the scrunt *Emerges from the FTL chamber visibly dishevelled* it's longer than you think dad! Longer than you think! *Pisses into a bucket like Christopher meloni on Oz then dies*
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Jul 30, 2021 12:47
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Saalkin posted:Can we get some real cleaning equipment? Every God drat thing in the janitor's closet is a loving mimic and they keep biting me. We can't leave this place a mess after an adventurer passes by, it isn't a loving barn. Don't tell the boss but I just chuck all my trash into that sphere of annihilation we have.
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Jul 30, 2021 12:52
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As a skeleton, i really just love rattling my bones!
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Jul 30, 2021 12:56
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i am the scrunt
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Jul 30, 2021 12:58
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PSA. While on duty don't keep valuable possessions such as gems, potions and gold coin on your person unless strictly needed for your posted task or station. We all trust and know each other here in the sewers but marauding adventurers are far less principled and have come to associate team members with their possessions. More and more frequent attacks are happening, lethal muggings are reported. In the jaundiced parlance of adventurers many of them simply see us as walking loot waiting to drop. Leave valuables at home. Don't invite crime. Keep yourself and your workmates safe.
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Jul 30, 2021 13:08
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I am The Collector. I collect the body armor and swords from those who have been vanquished by the various creatures that lurk within this cavernous dungeon. *melts down armor and swords into high quality fleshlights and butt plugs to sell in the dungeon gift shop*
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Jul 30, 2021 13:13
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i am the scrunt
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Jul 30, 2021 13:19
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FECK
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Jul 30, 2021 13:24
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