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Shima Honnou
Dec 1, 2010

The Once And Future King Of Dicetroit



College Slice

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vr3hflUHuog

July chat etc.

Somebody fucked around with this message at 17:47 on Aug 2, 2021

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Captain Log
Oct 2, 2006

Captain Log posted:

"I AINT DYING! Choo choo motherfucker!"
:toot::birddrugs::toot:



Serra see a new thread Serra ATTAC!

Captain Log
Oct 2, 2006

Captain Log posted:

"I AINT DYING! Choo choo motherfucker!"
:toot::birddrugs::toot:



By the way - could someone unban Action-Bastard for using the wrong thread tag, please?
---
As I've mentioned before, we live in a semi-lovely part of town. While it's got high crime compared to the rest of the city, it still doesn't feel downright unsafe. There are spots in Nashville you wouldn't drive through in broad daylight. Portland isn't like that. (I'm near Division and 148th, for reference to Portland Goons.)

Driving home from an errand today with my Pops, saw something I cannot unsee.

Disclaimer - I am not making fun of this person

On a busy stretch of road with about a 30mph speed limit, there was a woman at the roadside. She looked fifty-five, but could have been a lot younger. Had the haggard complexion of a person who has spent a lot of years homeless, along with being ungodly skinny. She was wearing a dress that ended above her rear end. I don't know if it got pulled up, or if it was too small, but it didn't cover anything. The woman appeared to be fighting a tarp next to the cars parked on the streets, bending over as she did so. She was graphically bending over and flashing the her parts at everyone. I've been to a lot of big cities, and seen a lot of gnarly things, but that one takes the cake.

Quickly had the conversation with my Dad of, "Should we call someone? That woman looks like she is having a freak out and is probably giving a lot of Sunday drivers a show they don't want. Then we quickly realized that in a Post-Reagan USA, the people who get a call about a mental health episode have badges and guns. We ended up just getting quiet for a minute, letting it sink in that a situation like that has the option of -

- Let person continue having some sort of breakdown while graphically flashing everyone. If she is dangerous to others or herself, you just walk away from it.
- Call the cops, and possibly get her shot/tasered/beaten

Man, gently caress mental healthcare in this country.

(Two days ago, I saw an old woman flattened out at an intersection, with some people gathered around her but no emergency medical. Everyone just looked scared. I know a neck injury doesn't get moved, but everyone had deer-in-the-headlights look. I began to pull over, then realized I'd be a problem without the ability to get onto my knees and back up. Not a big fan of just driving by an emergency. It's been a weird weekend for pedestrians.)

Cyrano4747
Sep 25, 2006

Behind every great engineer is someone just hoping the "genius" doesn't bankrupt everyone.



Captain Log posted:

By the way - could someone unban Action-Bastard for using the wrong thread tag, please?
---


Lol its been a long time since Ive seen someone fall into the autoban tags.

You good to go action bastard? Or do I need to go rustle up an admin?

tarlibone
Aug 1, 2014

Am I a... bad person?
AM I??





Fun Shoe

Dammit!

I got an email from Brownells. My primers missed me. They'll try again tomorrow.

How did I not get this delivery when I was at home? Well, the doorbell never rang. I seriously don't know how often I've gotten deliveries, or missed them, and the deliveryperson just ever so lightly raps their knuckles across my front porch door. How easy is that to hear? Not. It's not easy to hear.

What can Brown do for me? IT CAN USE THE loving DOORBELL, that's what Brown can do for me.

It's not like I'm in the middle of reloading right this second and desperately need these things right now, or anything like that. But it means that tomorrow, I have to be hyper-vigilant, hang a sign on my porch door, etc. I may have to get one of those doorbell cameras, too, but I don't want one that requires a subscription service. I have to ask my sister in law what brand hers is, because she managed to find one that doesn't require you to pay someone money for a camera and then pay them more all the time forever for the "right" to actually use the camera.



Edit: OK, Brownells makes it a little opaque for some reason, but I have verified that this was FedEx.

So... well, there's no "What can FedEx do for you" routine I can make fun of, so... whatever. Ring the loving doorbell, FedEx.

tarlibone fucked around with this message at 17:40 on Aug 2, 2021

Trillhouse
Dec 31, 2000



I went to the indoor range yesterday and there was bullet in the glass that separates the shooting lanes from the lobby. Someone managed to shoot almost exactly 180 away from the target.

New FK BRNO PSD is a lot of fun. Big 'ol fireballs.

stealie72
Jan 10, 2007

Their eyes locked and suddenly there was the sound of breaking glass.


Trillhouse posted:

I went to the indoor range yesterday and there was bullet in the glass that separates the shooting lanes from the lobby. Someone managed to shoot almost exactly 180 away from the target.
I'm getting increasingly freaked the gently caress out by my indoor range having floor to ceiling plywood lane dividers, because I have no idea what jackassery is happening next to me. Even with the dude who runs the place having a big glass window to look at all of us, I know he's gotta still work the register and talk to customers and is only watching at best 2/3 of the time.

I mitigate this by leaving my range bag on the table along the back wall so I have an excuse to walk back and fiddle with things to keep an eye on people around me a bit, but as that video of a dude putting a bullet through both of his cheeks because he got brass down his shirt and jerked around like a moron very clearly demonstrated, it only takes a second.

Nipponophile
Apr 8, 2009


tarlibone posted:

What can Brown do for me? IT CAN USE THE loving DOORBELL, that's what Brown can do for me.

This is my absolute biggest pet peeve that has been brought to the forefront by recent overreliance on delivery services. I guess Amazon and FedEx expect us to be happy that they're not simply speeding past our houses firing packages at the doors with pneumatic cannons, but that's the next logical step in this progression.

A couple months ago, I ordered a pizza. After an hour and a half of wondering where the hell my pizza was, I thought I heard a car and opened the front door. It had been sitting on the ground for who knows how long without a ring or a knock and was now completely covered in ants. I had been sitting no more than ten feet from my front door the whole time. They must have tiptoed up the walk.

Captain Log
Oct 2, 2006

Captain Log posted:

"I AINT DYING! Choo choo motherfucker!"
:toot::birddrugs::toot:



Nipponophile posted:

This is my absolute biggest pet peeve that has been brought to the forefront by recent overreliance on delivery services. I guess Amazon and FedEx expect us to be happy that they're not simply speeding past our houses firing packages at the doors with pneumatic cannons, but that's the next logical step in this progression.

A couple months ago, I ordered a pizza. After an hour and a half of wondering where the hell my pizza was, I thought I heard a car and opened the front door. It had been sitting on the ground for who knows how long without a ring or a knock and was now completely covered in ants. I had been sitting no more than ten feet from my front door the whole time. They must have tiptoed up the walk.

I think the whole "Contactless Delivery" theme of the pandemic only made this worse. It gives the crap delivery people an excuse to do bad jobs. most of our delivery people are great, but there are a few wing nuts.

poeticoddity
Jan 14, 2007
"How nice - to feel nothing and still get full credit for being alive." - Kurt Vonnegut Jr. - Slaughterhouse Five

Trillhouse posted:

I went to the indoor range yesterday and there was bullet in the glass that separates the shooting lanes from the lobby. Someone managed to shoot almost exactly 180° away from the target.

New FK BRNO PSD is a lot of fun. Big 'ol fireballs.

My gun club has a covered section over every set of ranges and I believe every one of them has at least one bullet hole in it.

I Demand Food
Nov 17, 2002


I haven't been to a range in an obscenely long time and all of the horror stories I've heard about them recently just discourage me further.

In other news, a manager here Got Mad that "nobody told" her that we had a new hire starting today. Not only was she out all of last week on PTO, not only does the new hire does not report to her in any way, but also what set her off today was an e-mail from HR introducing the new hire to the team.

This is apparently "yet another in a long line of failures to communicate important information properly and I will be taking my concerns to ownership".

You've been communicated with. We can't communicate any more communicatively.

...It's gonna be a long week.

Frankie
Feb 22, 2006





poeticoddity posted:

My gun club has a covered section over every set of ranges and I believe every one of them has at least one bullet hole in it.

My favorite bullet hole is the one with "This is why we can't have nice things" written next to it.

NerdyMcNerdNerd
Aug 3, 2004

Lol.i halbve already saod i inferno circstances wanttpgback


https://twitter.com/lions_by/status/1422272686722469911?s=20

Captain Log
Oct 2, 2006

Captain Log posted:

"I AINT DYING! Choo choo motherfucker!"
:toot::birddrugs::toot:




:hmmyes:


I Demand Food posted:

I haven't been to a range in an obscenely long time and all of the horror stories I've heard about them recently just discourage me further.

:( :respek: :(

I would have fixed that by now if it wasn't for ammo being asinine. I'm planning to pay for a legit range membership, but my option is either shelling out a lot for a "Lifetime" or a third of that for a year. If I end up doing a year, I want to start it when I can loving find ammo at a semi-sane price.

NerdyMcNerdNerd
Aug 3, 2004

Lol.i halbve already saod i inferno circstances wanttpgback


If I shot regularly at a public range that had any kind of traffic I'd be the weirdo with the plate carrier and the ballistic helmet on. Not to be tactical, but because I had zero faith in the people around me.

Chillyrabbit
Oct 24, 2012

The only sword wielding rabbit on the internet




Ultra Carp

Most of the subscription cameras (Ring, Nest, Wyze) have a free service where it still works showing you Live camera footage and sends notifications. But it lacks the storage/recording feature you would probably want if you want to look at past footage considering you aren't glued to a screen all day.

Eufy which I just found doesn't require a subscription but not sure how to rank it's usability as the one review I found has it pretty dumb in detecting stuff to record. But it does do all the recording stuff locally so you don't need a subscription.

I Demand Food
Nov 17, 2002


The last time I was at an outdoor rifle range for a group shoot, a guy whose day job is being an armed guard rolled up in his Level IIIA vest.

For some reason, the RSO singled him out for special attention.

Mambo No. 5
Feb 24, 2009

Admiral Parry "Terror" Sornis,
Dead Birds Society



If all goes well, I should be joining a range this month. Maybe even get to shoot at it.

Shima Honnou
Dec 1, 2010

The Once And Future King Of Dicetroit



College Slice


Make a waifu version.

Dip Viscous
Sep 17, 2019




tarlibone posted:

What can Brown do for me? IT CAN USE THE loving DOORBELL, that's what Brown can do for me.

One of my dad's friends used to work for UPS and he told me that the timetables they get put on are literally impossible, so they fill out the "We missed you!" notices as they drive and don't even stop at some houses. If they come up to your door and the ring the bell they will get fired.

tarlibone
Aug 1, 2014

Am I a... bad person?
AM I??





Fun Shoe

Dip Viscous posted:

One of my dad's friends used to work for UPS and he told me that the timetables they get put on are literally impossible, so they fill out the "We missed you!" notices as they drive and don't even stop at some houses. If they come up to your door and the ring the bell they will get fired.

Wow. The worst thing I knew about them was that the "ADULT SIGNATURE REQUIRED!!!" nonsense usually just means "If we see a grownup somewhere around your house, we'll set the package on your doorstep."

Anyway...

... tell me, fellow Goons who listened to, or perhaps even played, nu-metal roughly 15 - 20 years ago... did you ever wonder... get curious about... or otherwise set your mind to finding out.. .what ever happened to the lead singer for Staind?

Here's the rule: watch the video. Take a drink every time you have the urge to say, "Jesus Christ." Take two drinks when you can't stop yourself from saying it. When you add "loving" to it, take three drinks.

tarlibone fucked around with this message at 02:06 on Aug 3, 2021

Fearless
Sep 3, 2003

DRINK MORE MOXIE




Shima Honnou posted:

Make a waifu version.

What, you mean like printed on a body pillow?

Action-Bastard
Jan 1, 2008



Fearless posted:

What, you mean like printed on a body pillow?

I think they want an anthropomorphized anime waifu Rhodesia being burned alive.


(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

canyoneer
Sep 13, 2005


I only have canyoneyes for you


https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3975259&pagenumber=1&perpage=40

Cool thread in DIY about repairing/restoring old, mechanically interesting things (cameras, tools, etc)
Very relevant to this forum, collectors of often old, often interesting things.

infrared35
Jan 12, 2005

border patrol qt


Plaster Town Cop

Shima Honnou posted:

Make a waifu version.

This. Make those panty-shaped magazine pulls.

Capn Beeb
Jun 29, 2003

Enter the woods, find a friend!


tarlibone posted:

Wow. The worst thing I knew about them was that the "ADULT SIGNATURE REQUIRED!!!" nonsense usually just means "If we see a grownup somewhere around your house, we'll set the package on your doorstep."

Anyway...

... tell me, fellow Goons who listened to, or perhaps even played, nu-metal roughly 15 - 20 years ago... did you ever wonder... get curious about... or otherwise set your mind to finding out.. .what ever happened to the lead singer for Staind?

Here's the rule: watch the video. Take a drink every time you have the urge to say, "Jesus Christ." Take two drinks when you can't stop yourself from saying it. When you add "loving" to it, take three drinks.

This checks out, a lot of the people I went to school with grew up to be absolute shitheads that openly post about how they want to hunt queer people (not that for many of them that's a new development, mama mia) were also the biggest customer for burned copies of Staind.

Other nu metal groups? Largely alright people.
Afroman? Everyone wanted that.
Staind? 100% exclusive domain of fascists.

tarlibone
Aug 1, 2014

Am I a... bad person?
AM I??





Fun Shoe

Wow, I had no idea. I was never a big Staind fan, because while I do like the occasional, dirge-like sadness ballad, and I give extra points for baritone guitar keys, the more Staind I heard, the sadder and whinier it got. It was almost self-parody.

I still like "Home," though. Nice melody in the chorus. Also, I have a signed poster that they were handing out at the Extreme Radio (#104.1 on your FM dial, #1 in your heart) Hoedown back in 1999. Man... that was a great show. Saw a bunch of bands before they got really big.

Good thing I don't have that poster up anymore.

Somebody Awful
Nov 27, 2011

BORN TO DIE
HAIG IS A FUCK
Kill Em All 1917
I am trench man
410,757,864,530 SHELLS FIRED




I had never heard of that guy or his former band and after watching the video I wish I still hadn't.

Shima Honnou
Dec 1, 2010

The Once And Future King Of Dicetroit



College Slice

Because life can't just be okay for a little while, the dog's missing gone missing. Checked the house, checked outside, a bit of the neighborhood. She's vanished. Possibly wandered off, possibly taken since dog fighting at least used to be a thing out here, who the gently caress knows. I love that little dog, she helps me sleep a little better when she gets in bed with me.

BeAuMaN
Feb 18, 2014

I'M A LEAD FARMER, MOTHERFUCKER!


Dip Viscous posted:

One of my dad's friends used to work for UPS and he told me that the timetables they get put on are literally impossible, so they fill out the "We missed you!" notices as they drive and don't even stop at some houses. If they come up to your door and the ring the bell they will get fired.
Yeah I get those. Especially since I'm out in the country. The issue I had was it was a 21+ package (Nicotine chews for my dad), so I legally had to be present for the delivery. UPS driver(s) lied all 3 attempts saying they were at my house and weren't, and the package was shipped back to the merchant. This was... last year? middle of the year? It was high pandemic days but honestly I've seen them do the same thing since. So now these days I have it sent to the closest UPS depot on will call and they'll hold it for a week, however their notification system isn't set up to say "We're holding your package and it's ready to pickup". Instead, it just informed me that it's on the way there and then radio silence.

I'd have it sent to a UPS store, but since California law says nobody under 21 can handle flavored "tobacco" (anything nicotine) products, and since a UPS store might employ someone under 21, no UPS stores accept shipments of nicotine chews.

California was also going to ban sales of flavored nicotine products from practically all physical store fronts (though that's on hold since the tobacco industry payed enough money to get enough signatures to get a referendum on the bill so that'll be on the next ballot (hooray tobacco industry... I guess?), so if that becomes a thing I'll have to always go through this rigmarole with UPS otherwise dad has to not get his fix or buy cigarettes' until I can get them. I'm sure the nicotine isn't good for him but he hasn't been smoking so all in all it's been an improvement, and previous stuff didn't work.

Edit: The thing is, regarding UPS... at this point everyone in UPS must know about this bullshit where they're inventing excuses to meet unrealistic timetables; from the bottom the the top of the chain. I mean, I'm getting non-delivery excuses along the lines of "The receiving business was closed at the time of delivery. We'll make another delivery attempt on the next business day". Uh, yeah UPS, this is a house. It's been going on long enough that upper management has to be more or less giving their unofficial blessing on this, so they're massaging the stats for just the... shareholders I guess? Or maybe each manager is stat obsessed and the only thing that matters is they meet their target, even though everyone knows the target is bullshit.

At least they're still better than Fedex, though I often have better luck with Amazon Delivery.

BeAuMaN fucked around with this message at 07:47 on Aug 3, 2021

Captain Log
Oct 2, 2006

Captain Log posted:

"I AINT DYING! Choo choo motherfucker!"
:toot::birddrugs::toot:



Shima Honnou posted:

Because life can't just be okay for a little while, the dog's missing gone missing. Checked the house, checked outside, a bit of the neighborhood. She's vanished. Possibly wandered off, possibly taken since dog fighting at least used to be a thing out here, who the gently caress knows. I love that little dog, she helps me sleep a little better when she gets in bed with me.

Aw man, that's wretched. But a lost dog finding their way home isn't out of the realm of possibility.


BeAuMaN posted:

Yeah I get those. Especially since I'm out in the country. The issue I had was it was a 21+ package (Nicotine chews for my dad), so I legally had to be present for the delivery. UPS driver(s) lied all 3 attempts saying they were at my house and weren't, and the package was shipped back to the merchant. This was... last year? middle of the year? It was high pandemic days but honestly I've seen them do the same thing since. So now these days I have it sent to the closest UPS depot on will call and they'll hold it for a week, however their notification system isn't set up to say "We're holding your package and it's ready to pickup". Instead, it just informed me that it's on the way there and then radio silence.

I'd have it sent to a UPS store, but since California law says nobody under 21 can handle flavored "tobacco" (anything nicotine) products, and since a UPS store might employ someone under 21, no UPS stores accept shipments of nicotine chews.

California was also going to ban sales of flavored nicotine products from practically all physical store fronts (though that's on hold since the tobacco industry payed enough money to get enough signatures to get a referendum on the bill so that'll be on the next ballot (hooray tobacco industry... I guess?), so if that becomes a thing I'll have to always go through this rigmarole with UPS otherwise dad has to not get his fix or buy cigarettes' until I can get them. I'm sure the nicotine isn't good for him but he hasn't been smoking so all in all it's been an improvement, and previous stuff didn't work.

As a begrudging guy who vapes in the privacy of his own home, Big Tobacco has been screeching, "THINK OF THE CHILDREN!" while bankrolling an entire loving movement to get vape poo poo outlawed. It's working, too. Oregon passed a 60% tax on anything vape related. Yet cigarette prices stayed roughly the same. Booze too.

If these chews come from a big tobacco company, I don't think you have to worry too much about them going away. If they are a little shop type of deal, you might want to start researching alternatives.

BeAuMaN
Feb 18, 2014

I'M A LEAD FARMER, MOTHERFUCKER!


Captain Log posted:

As a begrudging guy who vapes in the privacy of his own home, Big Tobacco has been screeching, "THINK OF THE CHILDREN!" while bankrolling an entire loving movement to get vape poo poo outlawed. It's working, too. Oregon passed a 60% tax on anything vape related. Yet cigarette prices stayed roughly the same. Booze too.

If these chews come from a big tobacco company, I don't think you have to worry too much about them going away. If they are a little shop type of deal, you might want to start researching alternatives.
No no, they're big tobacco, of some sort. In the Nicotine Pouch market Zyn is the major one in the nicotine pouch market (owned by Swedish Match) who's trying to lobby for some sort of semi-smoking-inhibiting status in the US last I heard, though he's on Velo right now since the supplier was limiting ZYN (they said ZYN was shorting them, ZYN said there is no shortage, :shrug:), and Velo is owned by Reynolds. All of the major tobacco companies are on the nicotine pouch train.

However, in California, while the bans on various flavored tobacco products might have stemmed from kids vaping, the laws have basically targeted anything with a flavor and nicotine in it. Hence why the tobacco lobby is backing the referendum that will be on the 2022 ballot.

I only have my experience that dad never took to the patches or gum or whatever, but took to this stuff and quit smoking... hence why I'd wish that the state would take a more nuanced approach because while it'd be better if he were on the patches, or the gum or quit nicotine cold, this is obviously an improvement. And as for the kids... I dunno, do more compliance inspections?

The new thing that I see advertised along side nicotine pouches are nicotine lozenges. They just keep coming up with new nicotine delivery systems all the time.

Shima Honnou
Dec 1, 2010

The Once And Future King Of Dicetroit



College Slice

If you're gonna vape, own it and become a vape lord, roaming the earth blowing big smoke everywhere and just generally being a nuisance.

Captain Log
Oct 2, 2006

Captain Log posted:

"I AINT DYING! Choo choo motherfucker!"
:toot::birddrugs::toot:



Shima Honnou posted:

If you're gonna vape, own it and become a vape lord, roaming the earth blowing big smoke everywhere and just generally being a nuisance.

I even have a smaller, less obvious vape for when I'm in the car.

While I think vape is addiction harm reduction turned up to eleven, I refuse to be seen doing it.

There is nothing quite as On Brand America like an infinitely less bad for you thing helping people, so it gets outlawed in the name of, "The Children."

Oh, I didn't mean to say outlawed. I meant to say taxed to become a burden to the working class while having no discernible effect on the wealthy. Because us poors just don't know any better!

Forgive me for being cranky. It has sure been a day.

Capn Beeb
Jun 29, 2003

Enter the woods, find a friend!


I hope your dog comes home safe and sound, Shima 💜

NerdyMcNerdNerd
Aug 3, 2004

Lol.i halbve already saod i inferno circstances wanttpgback


This is some of the most insane poo poo I've read and it might be of particular interest to Captain Log:

https://www.bostonglobe.com/2021/07/31/business/it-has-be-known-what-was-done-us-natick-couple-harassed-by-ebay-tell-their-story-first-time/

tl;dr eBay's security team went on a made for TV movie-worthy campaign of terror against an elderly couple for doing a newsletter that was occasionally critical of the company


Capn Beeb posted:

I hope your dog comes home safe and sound, Shima 💜

Yeah. :(

Cyrano4747
Sep 25, 2006

Behind every great engineer is someone just hoping the "genius" doesn't bankrupt everyone.



Capn Beeb posted:

I hope your dog comes home safe and sound, Shima 💜

mischief
Jun 3, 2003


Dip Viscous posted:

One of my dad's friends used to work for UPS and he told me that the timetables they get put on are literally impossible, so they fill out the "We missed you!" notices as they drive and don't even stop at some houses. If they come up to your door and the ring the bell they will get fired.

I spent almost twenty years with UPS as an hourly and a manager and the undoing of that company is going to be their reliance on metrics above common sense. Every position has been engineered all to hell and back to have measurable elements, which is great on the surface. Loaders have load rates, unloaders have label facing metrics (for increased traceability on packages), package car drivers have stops per hour... All of this is in the pursuit of improved service but it ends up being the absolute Holy Grail for management to the point that people get pushed or tempted into bending rules, skirting safety, and ultimately falsifying these metrics because at the end of the year that's literally all the employees are evaluated on.

I don't envy the package car drivers. They introduced some load planning software about a decade ago that uses zip codes to mostly automate the delivery route for these folks and they're getting dispatched with 20+ hours worth of deliveries, getting turned loose late and loaded out of order, and then expected to have it all off in an eight hour window. Since UPS had the brilliant idea to guarantee service on literally every level of shipping you've got drivers leaving the hub at 1030 with a pile of poo poo that was due for early AM by 1000, for example. When they don't get put off in time the driver, the dispatcher, and the manager involved all get their loving teeth kicked in. Once you've been on the receiving end of that it gets powerfully tempting to show those packages delivered before the driver is even off the dock - that's where you get those weird mystery attempts and bullshit excuses. You didn't hear the driver because he was never there.

On paper the relentless pressure should yield improved customer service and an exceptional delivery experience. In reality it's just grinding people's body and soul into the dirt and will eventually put that company out of business.

I got to the point with UPS Freight that I was working 80+ hours a week on salary chasing that dragon. Eventually I fell asleep on the highway going home one Friday and totalled my car. It's just not sustainable any more, and it's not just UPS. FedEx is getting just as bad if not worse with no union.

DarkHorse
Dec 13, 2006

Vroom Vroom, BEEP BEEP!

Nap Ghost

Chasing metrics has been the death of many a company.

If you can't measure something, you can't understand it or control it. So metrics are a smart way to track the things that are important to you and your success and identify problems before they become a problem.

Where people screw up is confusing control of the metric with control of the process. At the beginning this is mostly true, but because metrics are easy and "objective" there's a temptation to assume they're equivalent to performance and then tie compensation to them. But then the metric becomes the goal, not the actual performance, and they start to diverge as chasing a number drives behavior instead of what they actually want.

You see it in when the NHS tied hospital performance and compensation to how long it took to see a doctor - hospitals hired a doctor to greet the patient in the waiting room and marked that as "seeing" a doctor. Or companies doing all sorts of bizarre accounting so end-of-quarter numbers look good (and the crap on beginning of next quarter) or, in extreme cases like Enron, just completely gently caress up entire markets.

The proper way to do it is treat metrics like gauges on a car - if you see gas is low or coolant temperatures are high, your goal should be to find out why you're out of gas or your engine is hot, not tap and tilt the gauge until number gets better. If out-of-spec numbers are important enough to shut down your process, definitely don't incentivize or allow people to self-report numbers or punish them for reporting bad news.

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I Demand Food
Nov 17, 2002


Metrics are fun when you double down on them but do gently caress all to address silos.

We had a customer that had ridiculous turnover in a planning position and was constantly incurring additional charges and fees.

Turned out their purchasing team was getting bonused for cost savings and procurement cycle time, so they would place blanket orders for a couple of SKU's to get as many price breaks as they could and processed as quickly as they could.

But we supply over two dozen SKU's to this customer. When they needed a model that wasn't on their order, they'd pay rework and expedite fees.

The rework and expedite fees came out of the planning department's budget and every 3-6 months the planners would get shitcanned and replaced for trying to do their job.

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