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PostNouveau
Sep 3, 2011

VY till I die


Grimey Drawer

Michael Phelps got a bunch of medals for doing essentially the same thing over and over again. And then a bunch more for doing the same activity but, like, less efficiently. Like, there's a dumber way to swim that's not as fast so they made it a new event.

They used to high jump by just going feet-over the bar, not flopping on their backs. And then everyone in the high jump did the flop because it worked better. They didn't make a new event where some people are jumping a normal jump and others are flopping.

Either we trim down these swimming medals or we add a shitload more events across all disciplines:

- Mixed medley shot put
- Javelin but you throw it with your offhand
- Running backwards: 100 m, 200 m, 400 m, 800 m, 1500 m, 5000 m, marathon
- The equestrian jumping thing is the equestrian all-around and we have individual medals for each of the jumps

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Rarity
Oct 21, 2010






Agreed, take away all the races except breaststroke

SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001

Havin' a roni


How about downhill skateboard racing. Kind of like bobsledding, but with skateboards. Also needs to have lots of crazy jumps along the way skaters can use as short cuts.

SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001

Havin' a roni


Rarity posted:

Agreed, take away all the races except breaststroke

Mirello
Jan 29, 2006
The Nameless One


Doesnt everyone agree? the enormous amount of swim events are a backhanded way for western countries to rack up the medals. the different events don't really showcase different skills. this is obvious when you look at the most medaled athletes at an olympics, its always swimmers. I'm no expert, but events should show off different skills, even within the same discipline.

it'll never happen though because swimming bringss in the big bucks in america.

surf rock
Aug 12, 2007



Good take tbh, although I want the solution to be adding more events to other sports instead of taking away swimming events

Honestly I just want the Olympics to be several months long

Zephro
Nov 23, 2000

I suppose I could part with one and still be feared...


Cycling too. I love cycling but there's cycling on the road, cycling on the road by yourself, cycling on mud, cycling indoors, cycling indoors for laps, cycling indoors behind a motorbike, cycling indoors with your mates, cycling on tiny bikes, and doing stunts on tiny bikes

Maybe it's just a bit too much bike stuff :shrug:

SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001

Havin' a roni


Zephro posted:

Cycling too. I love cycling but there's cycling on the road, cycling on the road by yourself, cycling on mud, cycling indoors, cycling indoors for laps, cycling indoors behind a motorbike, cycling indoors with your mates, cycling on tiny bikes, and doing stunts on tiny bikes

Maybe it's just a bit too much bike stuff :shrug:

They actually need more bike events.

Zephro
Nov 23, 2000

I suppose I could part with one and still be feared...


Unicycling Osmium, Madison and Keirin in Paris 2024

Also tandem mountain-biking and two-week BMX stage races imo

PostNouveau
Sep 3, 2011

VY till I die


Grimey Drawer

surf rock posted:

Good take tbh, although I want the solution to be adding more events to other sports instead of taking away swimming events

Honestly I just want the Olympics to be several months long

Yes, either solution is fine I just want it to feel consistent.

I don't know what the deal is, but the track events don't get the same lack of parity as swimming. Like Usain Bolt won the 100 and 200 and that's it, the end. The women's silver medalist in the 100 switched from the 400 and had to completely switch, she could not focus on both, it wasn't possible.

I dunno if it's that the level of competition in track is so much higher, but there actually seems to be a big difference in those distances whereas in swimming it's like everything is basically a sprint except the 800 and 1500, so one person can win, like ... 12 loving events in a single Olympics.

Centusin
Aug 5, 2009


just do one cycling event where they see who can ride the furthest in two weeks, people decide their own breaks etc

PostNouveau
Sep 3, 2011

VY till I die


Grimey Drawer

Centusin posted:

just do one cycling event where they see who can ride the furthest in two weeks, people decide their own breaks etc

I like it. 2 cycling events: 100 m, and Bike Till You Drop

HappyCamperGL
May 18, 2014



just add more events. as long as people have fun who cares. only morons look at the medal table anyway.

there is no individual pursuit, kilo, or points race on the track. so no where near enough bike events.

Rarity
Oct 21, 2010






I'm petitioning the IOC for another 30 BMX events as we speak

Loving Africa Chaps
Dec 3, 2007


We had not left it yet, but when I would wake in the night, I would lie, listening, homesick for it already.



Zephro posted:

Cycling too. I love cycling but there's cycling on the road, cycling on the road by yourself, cycling on mud, cycling indoors, cycling indoors for laps, cycling indoors behind a motorbike, cycling indoors with your mates, cycling on tiny bikes, and doing stunts on tiny bikes

Maybe it's just a bit too much bike stuff :shrug:

You'd have an argument except it's different people winning all those events. If you had Jason Kenny winning the road race, TT, Sprint and Team pursuit that would be one thing but we've lost interesting cycling events because the UCI wants to cut down on athletes and meanwhile there's over 9000 swimmers who are seemingly untouchable.

Tsaedje
May 11, 2007

ASK ME ABOUT BEING A JOYLESS CURMUDGEON WHO CANNOT ENJOY LIFE'S SIMPLY PLEASURES LIKE EATING AN ICE CREAM WHILST HAVING A SHIT


Allowing the superstars to sit out the opening rounds of the relays and then sub in for the final is particularly bullshit.

And 50m is a nonsense distance

Ralph Crammed In
May 11, 2007

Let's get clean and smart



HappyCamperGL posted:

just add more events. as long as people have fun who cares. only morons look at the medal table anyway.


Bring back tug of war, architecture, and pelota.

dex_sda
Oct 11, 2012




wasn't there a poetry event

Impossibly Perfect Sphere
Nov 6, 2002


olympic air guitar please

double negative
Jul 7, 2003




i'd watch the 100m backpedal

Presto
Nov 22, 2002



Here's what to do. Get rid of the breaststroke and butterfly events, because no one cares how good you are at swimming inefficiently. Maaaaybe keep the backstroke. Cut the distances down to like 100, 400, 1500. Done.

This is what will happen when my regime comes to power.

Arrhythmia
Jul 22, 2011

keep on fightin'


There aren't enough swimming medals.

PostNouveau
Sep 3, 2011

VY till I die


Grimey Drawer

dex_sda posted:

wasn't there a poetry event

The inventor of the Olympics won it in the first competition.

He claimed his pseudonyms meant it was a legit win but come on

a few DRUNK BONERS
Mar 25, 2016



They should invent more swimming strokes actually

Arrhythmia
Jul 22, 2011

keep on fightin'


a few DRUNK BONERS posted:

They should invent more swimming strokes actually

Yep.

PostNouveau
Sep 3, 2011

VY till I die


Grimey Drawer

a few DRUNK BONERS posted:

They should invent more swimming strokes actually

1500m doggypaddle

Arrhythmia
Jul 22, 2011

keep on fightin'


Here's one: front crawl with you right hand, breast stroke with your left. That'll be another 10 medals.

PostNouveau
Sep 3, 2011

VY till I die


Grimey Drawer

Skipping should be an event with team races and 8 different distances

Arrhythmia
Jul 22, 2011

keep on fightin'


PostNouveau posted:

Skipping should be an event with team races and 8 different distances

Skipping stones on water. One version where you can bring in your own stone to an indoor venue, and a second where you have to find one on a beach.

a few DRUNK BONERS
Mar 25, 2016



Backstroke but you go forwards instead of backwards

Youth Decay
Aug 17, 2015

a little too tithonic
yeah I really do think


Ralph Crammed In posted:

Bring back tug of war, architecture, and pelota.

Unironically want polo back, the horsey kind. Don't care if it's just for rich assholes. Hockey + 1000lb animals at top speed + an absurdly large field to account for those 1000lb galloping animals = fun as hell to watch.

Finger Prince
Jan 5, 2007

"I think he's watching us..."

"No, it's just the Mountain Peeks."
(Source)



HappyCamperGL posted:

just add more events. as long as people have fun who cares. only morons look at the medal table anyway.

there is no individual pursuit, kilo, or points race on the track. so no where near enough bike events.

We interrupt this cool and interesting post to watch the same 10 people attempt to qualify for a semifinal in the same swimming race they did yesteday only backwards this time. Will the Belarusian take gold in shotput? Who cares, people are swimming again.

PostNouveau
Sep 3, 2011

VY till I die


Grimey Drawer

a few DRUNK BONERS posted:

Backstroke but you go forwards instead of backwards

Ah, moonstroking

Zoran
Aug 19, 2008

I lost to you once, monster. I shall not lose again! Die now, that our future can live!


PostNouveau posted:

Skipping should be an event with team races and 8 different distances

they invented racewalking instead

PT6A
Jan 5, 2006
I am an autistic asshole that is incapable of understanding anything that isn't face value. Please consider my disability when reading my posts.

New idea: swimming hurdles. Freestyle, over one or more distances, but one of: there's giant obstacles that you have to climb over, or walls that go partway down and you have to swim under them. Or both.

And I like the multi-event things like triathlon. We should jam more sports together and see what happens. Let's make more triathlons, like: swimming, rock-climbing and mountain biking. Or BMX, skateboarding, and diving.

Rarity
Oct 21, 2010






Triathlon but at the start of the competition they put all the sports in a tumbler and pick out the three events at random

Syncopated
Oct 21, 2010


PT6A posted:

New idea: swimming hurdles. Freestyle, over one or more distances, but one of: there's giant obstacles that you have to climb over, or walls that go partway down and you have to swim under them. Or both.

And I like the multi-event things like triathlon. We should jam more sports together and see what happens. Let's make more triathlons, like: swimming, rock-climbing and mountain biking. Or BMX, skateboarding, and diving.

Iím sure obstacle runs or spartan race or whatever will be in the 2028 olympics, in place of the javelin throw and greco-roman wrestling.

Zoran
Aug 19, 2008

I lost to you once, monster. I shall not lose again! Die now, that our future can live!


There should be underwater swimming events.

Rick
Feb 23, 2004
And now the whole nation - pulpit and all - will take up the war-cry, and shout itself hoarse, and mob any honest man who ventures to open his mouth; and presently such mouths will cease to open.

I have no problem with the number of medals as long as people keep in mind that Sue Bird and Diana Taurasi potentially getting 5 gold is way more impressive. Or like Teddy Riner medaling in loving Judo in five Olympics, and those are just three people off the top of my head.

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sweek0
May 22, 2006

Let me fall out the window
With confetti in my hair
Deal out jacks or better
On a blanket by the stairs
I'll tell you all my secrets
But I lie about my past


Zoran posted:

There should be underwater swimming events.

There used to be. They then figured out it's not a great spectator sport when no one can see a thing.

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