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Percy Teatwillow

hi. my name is steven. I'm available for birthdays. here's my card...call me..


borrowing my roommateís car to run to the bank so I can turn in $12 worth of gold coins and $2 bills (originally received way back in 2011 or some poo poo as a tip for delivering pizza) in order to buy a pack of smokes

how BROKE are YOU, byob???

https://thumbs.gfycat.com/HardtofindImpossibleHoneyeater-mobile.webm
^^^special shout-out to vanisher^^^

Gluehead posted:

i met snow at a restaurant once and i was like 'man, informer is a really good song!' and he just looked up from the bowl of french onion soup he was eating, mouthed the words 'fuck off' and then he gave me the finger twice with boths hands, then crossed the two fingers to make a cross and aimed it at me
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xcheopis




Percy Teatwillow posted:

borrowing my roommateís car to run to the bank so I can turn in $12 worth of gold coins and $2 bills (originally received way back in 2011 or some poo poo as a tip for delivering pizza) in order to buy a pack of smokes

how BROKE are YOU, byob???

I'm so broke my debit card is using crutches.
I'm so broke my wallet fused from lack of use.
I'm so broke that when I found a $10 bill on the sidewalk I didn't recognize it.

See a mighty city trampled to destruction! See missiles and atom bombs powerless! See civilisation rioting with fear!

Armitag3

Forget it Jake, it's cybertown.



I opened my wallet and a moth flew out from inside of it

Nosfereefer



i'm wearing a barrel for clothes

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

How Wonderful!


I only have excellent ideas.


I have an MFA

https://giant.gfycat.com/OddWellgroomedIndianringneckparakeet.webm
https://giant.gfycat.com/HairyCarefreeDachshund.webm



-sigs by Manafisto, Heather Papps and vanisher! goblin by Khanstant! News by deep dish peat moss!

pnac attack



i view the use of currency as submission to capital

https://giant.gfycat.com/EasygoingHeartfeltBigmouthbass.mp4ty mani <3

frump truck

hello... again!



Nosfereefer posted:

i'm wearing a barrel for clothes

i never understood this trope because barrels cost much more than clothes

but still lol

frump truck

hello... again!



im wearing two oversized billboards to cover my genitals and butt. i'm rich tho

google THIS



Instead of direct deposit they have me go to the morgue to identify my paycheck

Mormon Nailer

PHANTOM QUEEN




How Wonderful! posted:

I have an MFA

We have the winner

Mormon Nailer

PHANTOM QUEEN




Last time my paycheck got deposited my bank sent me a panic notification because it's an "unusually large deposit."

Percy Teatwillow

hi. my name is steven. I'm available for birthdays. here's my card...call me..


Mormon Nailer posted:

Last time my paycheck got deposited my bank sent me a panic notification because it's an "unusually large deposit."

lol

https://thumbs.gfycat.com/HardtofindImpossibleHoneyeater-mobile.webm
^^^special shout-out to vanisher^^^

Gluehead posted:

i met snow at a restaurant once and i was like 'man, informer is a really good song!' and he just looked up from the bowl of french onion soup he was eating, mouthed the words 'fuck off' and then he gave me the finger twice with boths hands, then crossed the two fingers to make a cross and aimed it at me
your friend sk

(ヤイケス!)




oh poo poo, i'm broke but i forgot about my coin bottle! my bottle full of coins!


thank you BALLS DILDO!!


Add to your sig if you're a proud supporter of Local 69!
Check out my Retired Sig Parade!


share your shame here

Mormon Nailer

PHANTOM QUEEN




your friend sk posted:

oh poo poo, i'm broke but i forgot about my coin bottle! my bottle full of coins!

What the gently caress you have at least enough for gas, smokes and taco bell then

pnac attack



too broke to toke :o

https://giant.gfycat.com/EasygoingHeartfeltBigmouthbass.mp4ty mani <3

Mormon Nailer

PHANTOM QUEEN




When I was very, very, very broke, my favorite game was Stay Up Until Midnight When the Direct Deposit Hits, because I would inevitably be so hungry I was shaking, and would walk to the 24 hour Walmart to get groceries and would absolutely be the goblin eating a candy bar in the checkout lane. That was when I was still too proud to shoplift food and still working "too much" to qualify for most of the food distribution and EBT.

I will not lie, some of my favorite foods are only my favorite because of the dopamine I would get from having any food at all at midnight on payday.

pnac attack



shoplifting is dope as hell though?

https://giant.gfycat.com/EasygoingHeartfeltBigmouthbass.mp4ty mani <3

Mormon Nailer

PHANTOM QUEEN




pnac attack posted:

shoplifting is dope as hell though?

Right but I was dumb at the time and didn't know that

pnac attack



Mormon Nailer posted:

Right but I was dumb at the time and didn't know that

a valuable lesson

i miss being broke and sharing everything with other broke people. material wealth comes at a spiritual cost

so broke i'm free

https://giant.gfycat.com/EasygoingHeartfeltBigmouthbass.mp4ty mani <3

vanisher



cutting a thin slice off a boot for my dinner



Sig images courtesy of the talented Luvcow, Tiny Myers, & Death Sext

Code Jockey

you can call
but I seldom answer after all




vanisher posted:

cutting a thin slice off a boot for my dinner

look at richie rich here

*cuts knife into bitesize pieces with another, less edible knife*

pnac attack



Code Jockey posted:

look at richie rich here

*cuts knife into bitesize pieces with another, less edible knife*

get a load of this high-roller

*photosynthesizes*

https://giant.gfycat.com/EasygoingHeartfeltBigmouthbass.mp4ty mani <3

Ventral EggSac



I look at my debt and I see it's from learning
as my account gently weeps [guitar lick]

barnold

...but i didnt finish




while my butt gently farts

barnold

...but i didnt finish




I'm so sorry OP. I posted before reading. my bank account is fine thanks for asking

Percy Teatwillow

hi. my name is steven. I'm available for birthdays. here's my card...call me..


barnold posted:

I'm so sorry OP. I posted before reading. my bank account is fine thanks for asking

gently caress you




iím kidding iím glad your bank account is ok :-)

https://thumbs.gfycat.com/HardtofindImpossibleHoneyeater-mobile.webm
^^^special shout-out to vanisher^^^

Gluehead posted:

i met snow at a restaurant once and i was like 'man, informer is a really good song!' and he just looked up from the bowl of french onion soup he was eating, mouthed the words 'fuck off' and then he gave me the finger twice with boths hands, then crossed the two fingers to make a cross and aimed it at me
alexandriao

"What're quantum mechanics?"
"I don't know. People who repair quantums, I suppose."


pnac attack posted:

shoplifting is dope as hell though?

honestly kinda scared about getting caught tbh

alexandriao

"What're quantum mechanics?"
"I don't know. People who repair quantums, I suppose."


Be Gay, Do Crimes but im actually too scared to do any crimes

Percy Teatwillow

hi. my name is steven. I'm available for birthdays. here's my card...call me..


thatís ok just start with little crimes and work your way up to the bigger stuff

https://thumbs.gfycat.com/HardtofindImpossibleHoneyeater-mobile.webm
^^^special shout-out to vanisher^^^

Gluehead posted:

i met snow at a restaurant once and i was like 'man, informer is a really good song!' and he just looked up from the bowl of french onion soup he was eating, mouthed the words 'fuck off' and then he gave me the finger twice with boths hands, then crossed the two fingers to make a cross and aimed it at me
Percy Teatwillow

hi. my name is steven. I'm available for birthdays. here's my card...call me..


JWG Jaywalking While Gay

https://thumbs.gfycat.com/HardtofindImpossibleHoneyeater-mobile.webm
^^^special shout-out to vanisher^^^

Gluehead posted:

i met snow at a restaurant once and i was like 'man, informer is a really good song!' and he just looked up from the bowl of french onion soup he was eating, mouthed the words 'fuck off' and then he gave me the finger twice with boths hands, then crossed the two fingers to make a cross and aimed it at me
alexandriao

"What're quantum mechanics?"
"I don't know. People who repair quantums, I suppose."


Percy Teatwillow posted:

JWG Jaywalking While Gay

jaywalking isn't illegal here because it uses to be that explicitly humans always had right of way, but now they removed that line and it's just explicit in the "hard bulky fast moving metal hits soft squishy human is bad" way

pnac attack



alexandriao posted:

Be Gay, Do Crimes but im actually too scared to do any crimes

here's a good starter crime: eat some deli food while you walk around the store and then just leave

your bank account will look up with a little half-smile and wipe a tear from its eye before continuing to weep

https://giant.gfycat.com/EasygoingHeartfeltBigmouthbass.mp4ty mani <3

Percy Teatwillow

hi. my name is steven. I'm available for birthdays. here's my card...call me..


pnac attack posted:

here's a good starter crime: eat some deli food while you walk around the store and then just leave

your bank account will look up with a little half-smile and wipe a tear from its eye before continuing to weep

iíd also recommend a few grapes from the produce section. itís like a free sample

https://thumbs.gfycat.com/HardtofindImpossibleHoneyeater-mobile.webm
^^^special shout-out to vanisher^^^

Gluehead posted:

i met snow at a restaurant once and i was like 'man, informer is a really good song!' and he just looked up from the bowl of french onion soup he was eating, mouthed the words 'fuck off' and then he gave me the finger twice with boths hands, then crossed the two fingers to make a cross and aimed it at me
alexandriao

"What're quantum mechanics?"
"I don't know. People who repair quantums, I suppose."


pnac attack posted:

here's a good starter crime: eat some deli food while you walk around the store and then just leave

your bank account will look up with a little half-smile and wipe a tear from its eye before continuing to weep

carrying a spoon and fork around with me EVERYWHERE to sample the open topped self serve pizza toppings they have out

barnold

...but i didnt finish




Percy Teatwillow posted:

gently caress you




i’m kidding i’m glad your bank account is ok :-)

it wasn't always this way. but I'll allow it. you may gently caress me

vanisher



I'm the fine bank account :wmwink:



Sig images courtesy of the talented Luvcow, Tiny Myers, & Death Sext

Nosfereefer



you'll do surprisingly well on oatmeal and water, i've learned. also, calories are calories - free soda refills can keep you going quite a while. but the most important lesson is to storm the bourgeoisies' mansions and take your rightful fill.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Heather Papps


hello internet friend




i'm not broke i'm like one more sixpack away from a returnable amount of empties


i'm nuts about fall

Mormon Nailer

PHANTOM QUEEN




Nosfereefer posted:

you'll do surprisingly well on oatmeal and water, i've learned. also, calories are calories - free soda refills can keep you going quite a while. but the most important lesson is to storm the bourgeoisies' mansions and take your rightful fill.

Correct.

But also I really wish there wasn't a pandemic so I could slide by the casino and fill up my gallon water bottle full of ice cold Dr. Pepper.

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SpaghettiArmstrong

I'm not a real Armstrong, but I am a real Worm.

Armitag3 posted:

I opened my wallet and a moth flew out from inside of it

I feel so silly whenever I grab my moth's house instead of my wallet

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