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dr_rat
Jun 4, 2001
Equestrian is in the Olympics and jousting isn't.

Olympics is bullshit.

(PS. Equestrian sports would be worth a watch if the horse got to shot the jockey if the jockey got them injured. Eye for an eye and all that. Hell just have the sport being the horse hunting jockeys in a dark forest a night. Horse with the most kills gets the gold! )

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dr_rat
Jun 4, 2001

Pawn 17 posted:

If you gave a horse a medal, it would spook and probably kill itself and anyone else nearby.

Serak posted:

give it to the horse

BLOOD FOR THE HORSE BLOOD GOD

dr_rat
Jun 4, 2001

Meredith Baxter-Burnout posted:

*belches loudly*

"That's some good horse!"

You will be first against the wall!!!

dr_rat
Jun 4, 2001

BIG TIT LIL NIP posted:

sounds like a good way to kick off a horse war.

Well I mean yeah. And the horses shall be victorious!!!

dr_rat
Jun 4, 2001

SLICK GOKU BABY posted:

Also another fun fact, they use the Glue from the horses that didn't make it from Rio to hold together the rockwall and skatepark in Japan. The more you know.

And as you can see from this authentic screen grab from this live Olympic live screen, that didn't go so well for them. :colbert:

dr_rat
Jun 4, 2001

Linux Pirate posted:

Is this the 5 o' clock free ketamine give-away?

yes. but it's still 22min to five standard horse time. So I dunno, probably good time to drop any acid you got I guess.

dr_rat
Jun 4, 2001

Poohs Packin posted:

The horses have a secret horse base in the mountains outside denver and is marked by a statue of their leader Blucifer

Fun fact: Blucifer is a good horsey

dr_rat
Jun 4, 2001

Poohs Packin posted:

Side note: "horse girls" freak me out.

Centaurs indeed do show why the greek gods were a weird bunch and messed way to much with the earthly affairs of human and horse.

Playing god with genetics should always rightly be left to the domain of mad scientists and none others.

dr_rat
Jun 4, 2001

Vulgar posted:

They don’t stand a chance

Unleash the ants
Just tuned into BBC live reporting from the battlefront and alas have some sad news in regard to you might art army.

dr_rat
Jun 4, 2001

ncumbered_by_idgits posted:

I feel like they may not have thought this through all the way.

drat straight they gave their only gun to their mortal enemy. The fools.

dr_rat
Jun 4, 2001

Rad-daddio posted:

The Olympic would be more fun if it was appropriate to laugh and cheer when someone gets injured.

Be the change you want to see in this world :dance:

dr_rat
Jun 4, 2001

Statutory Ape posted:

move gun point a to point B shoot gun, if horse die gun still at point b

if horse act recalcitrant aim down pull trig

If gun on horse, horse now own gun.

You are enemy of horse now. :catstare:

dr_rat
Jun 4, 2001

EorayMel posted:

...and how horses have been one of the most notorious money sinks in history

A fine long term machiavellian strategy by horse to bring down human economy and leave all destitute and afraid.

dr_rat
Jun 4, 2001

Yes, that's what i've been saying this whole time!!!

dr_rat
Jun 4, 2001

Statutory Ape posted:

this is why sea horses are legally required to be so small, if you combine horses n boats its just an untenable financial position

Sea horses don't need boats silly, they live under the water, so that would be combining horses n submarines. Sooo yeah um even more financially untenable so still right about that.

For overly large tin cans submarines are a lot more expensive than you'd think they'd be. I mean they don't even have any soda in them, where all the cost go? probably just a scam.

dr_rat
Jun 4, 2001

Statutory Ape posted:

my boat has a special device for macerating sea horses

i keep it below the transom where ppl will never suspect it :devil:

Well they suspect now, as I just went right a head and told em. And sea horse folk know well how to take care of ne'er-do-well such be yourself. :colbert:

dr_rat
Jun 4, 2001

Statutory Ape posted:

*opens door 2 bank*

I HEARD U HAD SEA NOTES?

*Cocks seahorsey head*

Pilgrim you heard wrong, were just simple folk down here, living in a simple under the sea post capitalist utopian society. This her' bank is just a museum piece, to educate young'ins on the evils of monetary societies.

Would you like a tour?

dr_rat
Jun 4, 2001

Welcome to the revolution pony comrade!

dr_rat
Jun 4, 2001

Statutory Ape posted:

uhhhh....leon trotsky?

It's Leon Trotsea pilgrim. Historians are stupid and don't know how to spell.

Also Stalin's a jerk. But that's unrelated.

dr_rat
Jun 4, 2001

PinheadSlim posted:

Actually that rifle's a Gewher 43 so it's probably a Nazi pony. Someone call in a P-51 Mustang to blow it to hell

Oh. :( Thanks for this fine Intel!



DEATH TO THE PONY NAZI SCUM!!!!!

dr_rat
Jun 4, 2001

Oh agree, a true Olympic sport is one done in a park, on a fine sunny day while stupidly high, and with genitals free to the breeze!

Gold medals to all!!!

dr_rat
Jun 4, 2001

Who What Now posted:

Horses that compete should kill, cook and eat the spectators, like bulls after they've killed the bullfighters.

:colbert:

dr_rat
Jun 4, 2001

Who What Now posted:

Is it legal for a horse to purposefully poop onto the course with the express intent of causing other horses to slip and fall?

Legal and encouraged! Also a course full of horse poo poo, is a course with nutritious soil, leading to lush green grass and flowers abound!!!

Perfect for picnicking and/or plotting revolutions on, with family and friends!

dr_rat
Jun 4, 2001

Statutory Ape posted:

If RDR2 is remotely to be believed, horses are scared s******* of tiny snakes

It is. Horse usually feel a dark and deep sense of existential dread when ever they are remind of the existence of small snakes.

Like most of the times snakes seem pretty chill to me, just going about doing there snake thing, but I dunno not a snakeologist, possibly the horses know something I'm missing.

dr_rat
Jun 4, 2001

Mega64 posted:

Horse owns imo

In a fair fight horse totally would of won. Olympics is rigged.

dr_rat
Jun 4, 2001

Weka posted:

I live in the country. I've never heard of that first thing happening. Second one is definitely true though.

Of course you haven't. Horses are very good at making sure there's no witness. :ninja:

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dr_rat
Jun 4, 2001

Panic! At The Tesco posted:

horses are pretty majestic but also aren't they meant to be really stupid

like they'll see a squirrel and freak out and snap their own legs off and impale their eyes on a wrought iron fence

If most humans were aware of the true abhorrent nature of the squirrel, people would do like wise. Alas as usually we gleefully wallow in our ignorance. :(

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