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Wizard Master
Mar 25, 2008


Whether you’re answering panicked help desk calls from VPs, connecting a dozen offices into a single conference room or keeping priceless data away from cyber-terrorists, all you IT professionals are the superheroes of the business world. Sure, we don’t flip through comic books or sell out movie theaters to see what you do best, but there is a popular group of people whose adventures and feats mimic those occurring all over the IT industry: The Avengers.

The Avengers is perhaps the most formidable team of superheroes ever assembled. When alien God Loki sought to make himself king of Earth and almost wiped out Manhattan in his quest, the Avengers stepped up to save the day. So we wondered; which IT job would suit each member best?

Iron Man – Software Developer



It’s not enough for a software developer to be a master engineer – which Tony Stark, aka Iron Man, is. The best developers know how to inspire; to take an ocean of code and intricate design and turn it into a fully-immersive user experience. As a billionaire playboy with a personality to match, Stark knows what it takes to capture the imagination. He’s always creating something brilliant, including the aforementioned Ultron, and has the brains to stay successful for the long run. Besides, can you imagine the launch parties he’d hold just for the incremental updates?

Black Widow – Information Security


When you’re tasked with preventing the security disasters and protecting valuable information, it helps to be a master strategist and tactician. In fact, with the growing emphasis on security in the IT industry, information security specialists may sometimes need to take the lead on projects. Black Widow has done so on several occasions. Tasks like internally hacking spy agency S.H.I.E.L.D. after boarding a ship and taking out a dozen goons are no problem for this femme fatale. It takes the sharpest mind to stay one step ahead of bad guys. With Black Widow’s enhanced intellect and proven tactic and strategist abilities from her espionage background, it’s clear she has the smarts and the skills.

The Hulk – Hardware Services and Infrastructure


Generally speaking, IT work requires a fine touch and nuanced thinking. But there are some jobs that are just too heavy duty for finesse. Hardware and infrastructure involve challenges that are not only mentally taxing but physically intimidating. And while you don’t need all the brawn of Hulk, it doesn’t hurt to have a smashing attitude. The Hulk is a master at getting the job done in the simplest, most direct manner possible. For example, he took out Loki by simply smashing him repeatedly on the floor. Sure, there are times when IT work gets frustrating, even maddening. But that’s when Hulk is at his best.

Captain America – Professional IT Trainer


There’s no doubt about it: Cap is the Avengers’ professional IT trainer. He’s been around awhile – seriously, he was frozen for about seventy years – so the old timer knows what he’s doing. A professional IT trainer has to design training programs, help others develop skills and, most importantly, support and coach newbies. Captain America’s Army history makes him perfect for training and development, and leadership is where Cap shines best. In the end, it doesn’t matter if it’s on the battlefield or in the tech field, Captain America is always by your side and ready to take the lead.

Thor – Network and Cloud Technologies Professional


Working as a network and cloud tech pro means you’ve got an arsenal of innovative skills and are used to handling complex, special projects. Out of all the Avengers, Thor is hands down the team’s network and cloud tech pro. He is the Norse God of Thunder after all. He’s also a great leader; see his past battles with his band of merry Asgardians. And he has mad innovation skills, like using his hammer, Mjolnir, to control lightning, bash baddies and even fly through space. Don’t forget that managing complex special projects is right up his alley as well: How about that time he saved all of the nine realms from Malekith and the Dark Elves during the Convergence? It’s all in a day’s work for this big guy, no matter if he’s taking the Bifrost or a car to work.

Hawkeye – IT Management and Strategy Professional


As an IT management and strategy pro, you’ve got to have the analytical abilities and communication skills to direct your team to success. Hawkeye is no backseat driver. He’s always in the fray, ready to take control and help the Avengers succeed. Determining and clarifying strategic and operational problems? Identifying and assessing the pros and cons of possible strategies? No problem. Hawkeye helped strategize the battle plan to take down the Chitauri as they tried to destroy Manhattan (thanks Loki). It’s the quiet confidence in his skills that Hawkeye can depend on in battle, or in a parallel universe; the office.

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Cosmik Slop
Oct 9, 2007

What's a hole doing in my TARDIS?





Haha yeah

Yaldabaoth
Oct 9, 2012


>kill ironman for portraying rich people as heroic

sure okay
Apr 7, 2006





College Slice

More effort than this one, I suppose.

Dumb Sex-Parrot
Dec 24, 2020


i appreciate all the effort you put into making this thread op, but i really have to say that im so goddamned tired of all these batmen

Bloodfart McCoy
Jul 20, 2007

That's a high quality avatar right there.


I hope these movies finally killed massive cinematic universes/franchises. This will allow movie studios the room to invest in smaller, less algorithm-driven movie making. It will hopefully begin to restore the art to cinema, similar to how the filmmakers of “New Hollywood” shaped the industry in the 1970’s.

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

I'm so sick and tired of all these avengers. Why can't we stop and reconciliate for once

givepatajob
Apr 8, 2003

One finds that this is the best of all possible worlds.

Dinosaur Gum

What kind of LinkedIn bullshit is this

Junk
Dec 20, 2003

Listen to reason, man. Why make your job difficult?

hahahahahahahaha this is really funny hahahahahahhaahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaha

Weka
May 5, 2019

And if you gaze long into an abyss, you will say `look, no ring.`

Bloodfart McCoy posted:

I hope these movies finally killed massive cinematic universes/franchises. This will allow movie studios the room to invest in smaller, less algorithm-driven movie making. It will hopefully begin to restore the art to cinema, similar to how the filmmakers of “New Hollywood” shaped the industry in the 1970’s.

LMAO. it's only getting worse pal. These movies have box office takes in the billions.

Dumb Sex-Parrot
Dec 24, 2020


Bloodfart McCoy posted:

I hope these movies finally killed massive cinematic universes/franchises. This will allow movie studios the room to invest in smaller, less algorithm-driven movie making. It will hopefully begin to restore the art to cinema, similar to how the filmmakers of “New Hollywood” shaped the industry in the 1970’s.

hell yeah bring back 90s action movies!

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013
Probation
Can't post for 17 days!


I ain't reading that poo poo op, c'mon

Jose Oquendo
Jun 20, 2004

At the end of 2018, a study was published by London Metropolitan University showing that certain bacteria, normally present only in intestinal tracts or feces, were found on McDonald's self-service screens.




How does someone with a 2008 regdate think this is a good idea for a thread.

Anyway, if the Avengers started working in my office, they'd be hated almost instantly because of all the snark and quips they'd make.

Elburroman
Dec 27, 2012


oh yeah my office would love this i have this one coworker tordle who thinks tom hiddler is the cutest what could he be

IT but for charming handsome men how is that not a thing

have a coworker named poop whob favorite avender ib "The Box"

pretty soft girl
Oct 1, 2004

my dead grandfather fights better than you

Dumb Sex-Parrot posted:

hell yeah bring back 90s action movies!

I'll see contemporary reviews of stuff like Rapid Fire or Sudden Death treat them like they're boring worthless pieces of poo poo and I'm just exasperated. like, buddy, you have no idea how good you had it back then that these were the "bad" action movies. In the future almost every action movie will be Whedon dialog laden video game cutscenes and not a single person will be lit on fire during production so shut up and enjoy Brandon Lee running a dude over with a motorcycle

Smugworth
Apr 18, 2003

Well, I've got brain damage on the side of my brain, and I don't know which side, left or right, where I huffed gasoline for ten long years.




I carry a printer over to wonder woman's cubicle

"It's all fixed, would you like me to plug it in?"

Man she's so pretty

Chrs
Sep 21, 2015



Didn’t you post this exact thread once before OP to the same negative response?

Dumb Sex-Parrot
Dec 24, 2020


pretty soft girl posted:

I'll see contemporary reviews of stuff like Rapid Fire or Sudden Death treat them like they're boring worthless pieces of poo poo and I'm just exasperated. like, buddy, you have no idea how good you had it back then that these were the "bad" action movies. In the future almost every action movie will be Whedon dialog laden video game cutscenes and not a single person will be lit on fire during production so shut up and enjoy Brandon Lee running a dude over with a motorcycle

I think part of what turns me off the Avengers movies is the whole universe stuff they have set up, where you need to see all previous movies to get the full picture of what is going on in the latest movie. For instance I watched one of the new Spiderman movies where the story relied heavily on one of the previous Avengers movies where they fought purple powerglove man, and I just dont give a poo poo about all that.

Who the hell is Hawkeye and why should I care about him?! Why does Thor suddenly have short hair and is missing an eye?

Smugworth
Apr 18, 2003

Well, I've got brain damage on the side of my brain, and I don't know which side, left or right, where I huffed gasoline for ten long years.




Dumb Sex-Parrot posted:

Who the hell is Hawkeye and why should I care about him?! Why does Thor suddenly have short hair and is missing an eye?

Hawkeye blows

pretty soft girl
Oct 1, 2004

my dead grandfather fights better than you

Dumb Sex-Parrot posted:

I think part of what turns me off the Avengers movies is the whole universe stuff they have set up, where you need to see all previous movies to get the full picture of what is going on in the latest movie. For instance I watched one of the new Spiderman movies where the story relied heavily on one of the previous Avengers movies where they fought purple powerglove man, and I just dont give a poo poo about all that.

Who the hell is Hawkeye and why should I care about him?! Why does Thor suddenly have short hair and is missing an eye?

I dont think I'll ever get behind the idea that longer content = better than

James Bond movies have their problems but the thing I liked about them is that I could just fuckin put one on and not have to worry about the previous 20 movies to know what the hell is going on. the writers didn't have to give a flying gently caress about continuity either so if one sucked, the next one would be completely different. Now that franchise has caught MCU brainworms and has a 5 movie storyline running that is managing to make the nearly perfect first movie in it worse by trying to interconnect everything

I didn't even want to sit and watch three consecutive lord of the ring movies so having to sit down with Charlie's Pepe Silvia chart to understand how all these stupid spandex idiots are interconnected just so I can watch a bad CGI fest isn't my idea of a great time

hell astro course
Dec 10, 2009

pizza sucks



pretty fricken epic op, but this movie came out in April 11 of 2012, which was almost 9 years ago. You probably auto-scheduled this post for 2012/8/5 but accidentally flipped 12 to 21, and ended up posting this on 2021/8/5

chaosbreather
Dec 9, 2001

Wry and wise,
but also very sexual.



avegers is cool, for a little while everyone got to prentend something mattered, that's fun when that

Robin Williams
Aug 11, 2018

by Fluffdaddy


Everyone is scared about Oh The Voters! Who are they?

This brain dead poo poo is considered the best cinema of our time.

The voters come out of a sewer.

Saalkin
Jun 29, 2008




Lol what is this trash?

super sweet best pal
Nov 18, 2009



drat extroverts taking jobs that belong to awkward nerds.

Pimpcasso
Mar 13, 2002
MY PRONOUNS ARE SHIT/HEAD


Chrs posted:

Didn’t you post this exact thread once before OP to the same negative response?

I know he's made this thread at least twice before

chaosbreather
Dec 9, 2001

Wry and wise,
but also very sexual.



Spider-Man – Quality Assurance

When you've got bugs, the best solution is always a spider. Fast and nimble, the youngest avenger proves his worth and tests his mettle by testing metal. Not afraid of finding edge cases, everywhere, and has a preternatural sense of when danger for the product launch is near.

Milo and POTUS
Sep 3, 2017

I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?


I hope he keeps making this thread as long as it pisses off gbs

chaosbreather
Dec 9, 2001

Wry and wise,
but also very sexual.



Ant-Man – Solution Design
The big picture, the fine details, this pim-particle powered perfectionist purloins practical perfect products from the jaws of undefined business outcomes. It's about the planning, it's about the perspective, it's about taking on whatever job at whatever size it comes at, and devising a tactics his army of ants can take on. Just be careful not to leave your lunch out, because "that's how you get ants".

chaosbreather
Dec 9, 2001

Wry and wise,
but also very sexual.



this is violence and i love it

Dumb Sex-Parrot
Dec 24, 2020


pretty soft girl posted:

I dont think I'll ever get behind the idea that longer content = better than

James Bond movies have their problems but the thing I liked about them is that I could just fuckin put one on and not have to worry about the previous 20 movies to know what the hell is going on. the writers didn't have to give a flying gently caress about continuity either so if one sucked, the next one would be completely different. Now that franchise has caught MCU brainworms and has a 5 movie storyline running that is managing to make the nearly perfect first movie in it worse by trying to interconnect everything

I didn't even want to sit and watch three consecutive lord of the ring movies so having to sit down with Charlie's Pepe Silvia chart to understand how all these stupid spandex idiots are interconnected just so I can watch a bad CGI fest isn't my idea of a great time

I mean, I get the idea that longer content can be appealing if you find the stoy and characters engaging and want more. But none of the avengers movies have managed to captivate me at all, except maybe the first Iron Man movie because of Mr. Stark's character development (i cant even remember his first name, is it bruce?). All the rest sort of just blends together in a mess of dumb dialogue and explosions.

Smugworth posted:

Hawkeye blows

it's like, he just materialized at the start of one movie and his superpowers are being good with the bow and standing around in the background looking sullen while captain America gets his dick wet

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Yaldabaoth
Oct 9, 2012


Modern movies are nothing but complete filler because the main target demographic is China and Hitler the 2nd doesn't want his citizens getting any ideas.

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