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Angepain
Jul 13, 2012

what keeps happening to my clothes


Things Meat Loaf Claims He Would Do For Love
  • Anything
Things Meat Loaf Claims He Would Do For Love, Like, Specifically
  • Run right into hell and back
  • Never lie to you, and that's a fact*
  • Be there till the final act
  • Take the vow
  • Seal a pact
  • Anything you've been dreaming of
  • Raise up Lorraine Crosby
  • Help down Lorraine Crosby
  • Get Lorraine Crosby right out of this godforsaken town
  • Make it all a little less cold
  • Hold Lorraine Crosby scared
  • Hole Lorraine Crosby tight
  • Colourise Lorraine Crosby's life (Note: she is so sick of black and white)
  • Make it all a little less old
  • Make Lorraine Crosby some magic with his own two hands
  • Build Lorraine Crosby an emerald city with these grains of sand
  • Give Lorraine Crosby something she can take home
  • Cater to every fantasy Lorraine Crosby has
  • Hose down Lorraine Crosby with holy water if she gets too hot, HOT
  • Take Lorraine Crosby places she has never known
Things Meat Loaf Will Not Do For Love (Times he insists he will not in brackets)
  • Forget the way you feel right now (6)
  • Forgive himself if we don't go all the way tonight (6)
  • Do it better than he does it with you, so long, so long (9)
  • Stop dreaming of you every night of his life (4)
  • See that it's time to move on (2)
  • Be screwing around after a while (4)
Things That Happen Some Days
  • It don't come easy
  • It don't come hard
  • It don't come at all (Note: these are the days that never end)
  • Meat Loaf prays for silence
  • Meat Loaf prays for soul
  • Meat Loaf prays to the God of Sex and Drums and Rock 'N Roll
Things That Happen Some Nights
  • You're breathing fire
  • You're carved in ice
  • You're like nothing Meat Loaf has ever seen before or will again
  • Meat Loaf loses the feeling
  • Meat Loaf loses control
  • Meat Loaf just loses it all when he watches you dance and the thunder rolls
Opinions Stated by Meat Loaf On Whether Things Are Crazy
  • Meat Loaf: Maybe crazy
  • Knowing You Can Save Him: It's crazy
People Who Can Save Meat Loaf
  • You
  • No one else
Time periods in which Meat Loaf Would Do Anything For Love
  • As long as the planets are turning (Estimate: 1 quadrillion years)
  • As long as the stars are burning (Estimate: 1-100 trillion years)
  • As long as your dreams are coming true, you better believe it (Unknown, depends on dreams, not specified)
  • As long as the wheels are turning (Unknown, depends on mechanism, not specified)
  • As long as the fires are burning (Estimate: >10^23 years)
  • As long as your prayers are coming true, you better believe it (Unknown, depends on prayers, not specified)
Opinions Stated by Meat Loaf On Whether Things Are Lonely
  • Meat Loaf: Maybe
Things Meat Loaf Is Qualified To Be
  • Lonely
Number Of Promises Meat Loaf Can Keep
  • One
General Observations On Meat Loaf Doing Anything For Love That Clearly Aren't Actual Things He Will Do But He Puts Them In The Part Of The Song Where Things He Will Do Are, Presumably Because He Has Run Out Of Ideas For Things He Will Do
  • You know it's true and that's a fact
  • There'll never be no turning back
Things Lorraine Crosby knows
  • After a while to forget everything, it will be judged to be a brief interlude and a midsummer night's fling
  • Meat Loaf will see that it's time to move on (disputed)
  • The territory (Source: having been around)
  • It'll all turn to dust
  • We'll all fall down
  • Sooner or later Meat Loaf will be screwing around (disputed)

*Scholars dispute whether this is a thing he will do or never do for love. Reasonable arguments exist on both sides. I argue that doing the specific action of refraining for love is slightly different to refusing to do something which he may hypothetically be induced to do for love. In this case it seems that the act of never lying is something he is actively doing for love, rather than the act of lying for love being a thing he refuses to do.

Angepain has a new favorite as of 11:46 on Aug 13, 2021

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