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the sex ghost
Sep 6, 2009




As much as we all like to say that managers have a tough old job, it's very funny when they make a complete mess of it and end up getting shown the door. Given the elbow. The old heave-ho. Binned off. Relieved of their duties. Parted by mutual consent. Whatever you call it, no Premier League boss is ever very far away from the dreaded Sack.



Maybe you're in charge of a big club who've spent a billion quid on a load of shite and you're miles off your chairman's completely realistic expectation of going 38-0-0. Maybe you're down at the pointy end of the table frantically trying to find some combination of 18 year old Chelsea loanees that will scrape together enough points to stop the EFL Reaper (whos just Neil Warnock) from tapping at the window of your office every morning and pointing at a fixture list with 800 matches on it. Doesn't matter. Chairmen are useless, fans are fickle bastards who only remember the last result and at any moment it could be all over.


With that in mind we're going to be having a bit of a contest this season, which might last for a couple of months or a couple of days depending on what mood the chairmen are in. It's the :siren:Jizz Hornkamp Premier League Sack Race 2021/22:siren:

THE RULES

The rules are straightforward enough. Simply pick which of the 20 Premier League managers currently gainfully employed will be the first one to get the boot this season. As a refresher, those managers are:

Arsenal - Mikel Arteta
Aston Villa -Dean Smith
Brentford - Thomas Frank
Brighton & Hove Albion - Graham Potter
Burnley - Sean Dyche
Chelsea - Thomas Tuchel
Crystal Palace - Patrick Vieira
Everton - Rafael Benítez
Leeds United - Marcelo Bielsa
Leicester City - Brendan Rodgers
Liverpool - Jürgen Klopp
Manchester City - Pep Guardiola
Manchester United - Ole Gunnar Solskjær
Newcastle United - Steve Bruce
Norwich City - Daniel Farke
Southampton - Ralph Hasenhüttl
Tottenham Hotspur - Nuno Espírito Santo
Watford - Xisco Muñoz
West Ham United - David Moyes
Wolverhampton Wanderers - Bruno Lage

For the purposes of this contest and because of the weaselly way clubs like to announce this stuff a 'sacking' consitutes either an outright removal from the position, a stepping down, a resignation, a parting by mutual consent etc. I'm also inclined to include leaving a club for a bigger job in another league but will leave that up to the thread to decide whether they want to allow this.

Just pick who's gonna get sacked first. You could literally pick any of them because clubs make stupid decisions all the time. A dead cert sacking candidate might cling on for months because the owners are too cheap to hire someone better trust in his long-term vision for the club.

We're gonna be working with a provisional limit of 10 posters per manager. If you want to pick your fave you'd better be fast. If you're too slow and your gaffer is already fully loaded with posters desperate for him to lose his livelhood you'll have to root for someone else.

DID YOU SAY PRIZES GET ON WITH IT

The 10 posters who successfully guess the unlucky winner will be getting this beautiful bespoke gangtag from our very own Bogan Krkic. Maybe I'll chuck in some forum upgrades as well if I can figure out the buttons.



Look at their little sad faces. It's loving brilliant.

If somehow the first manager sacked is someone nobody picked I guess we'll roll it over or something idk

Once you've made your picks feel free to post your reasonings, try and persuade other posters and wildly speculate on the actions and motivations of billionaire owners who probably don't give it a moment's thought. Good luck, get picking, and may the worst man win.

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the sex ghost
Sep 6, 2009




Arsenal - Mikel Arteta (NO MORE SPACES)
- Jose
- Blasmeister
- Akbar
- Reprisal
- Concerned Citizen
- paddyboat
- Flayer
- V. Illych L.
- Cup of Hemlock
- Dressed For Chess

Aston Villa -Dean Smith
- Shrapnig
- JunkDeluxe

Brentford - Thomas Frank

Brighton & Hove Albion - Graham Potter
- CyberPingu

Burnley - Sean Dyche
- Tortilla Maker
- the sex ghost
- ItohRespectArmy
- psyer
- ZeeBoi

Chelsea - Thomas Tuchel
- shut up blegum

Crystal Palace - Patrick Vieira
- NinpoEspiritoSanto
- trem_two
- McFlurry Fan #1
- Myssu
- emjayo
- blue footed boobie
- webmeister

Everton - Rafael Benítez

Leeds United - Marcelo Bielsa
- Eau de MacGowan
- hello i am phone

Leicester City - Brendan Rodgers

Liverpool - Jürgen Klopp
- FullLeatherJacket

Manchester City - Pep Guardiola
- Barry Shitpeas
- Grimble

Manchester United - Ole Gunnar Solskjær

Newcastle United - Steve Bruce
- KYOON GRIFFEY JR
- Tortuga

Norwich City - Daniel Farke
- Total Meatlove

Southampton - Ralph Hasenhüttl
- JingleBells
- Bogan Krkic
- Mickolution
- Gigi Galli
- ozmunkeh

Tottenham Hotspur - Nuno Espírito Santo

Watford - Xisco Muñoz
- Literally Lewis Hamilton
- sticksy
- Vyelkin
- Backdoor Delivery
- Sphyre
- UnderFreddy
- Mr Snips
- King of False Promises

West Ham United - David Moyes
- Belgend

Wolverhampton Wanderers - Bruno Lage

the sex ghost fucked around with this message at 20:30 on Sep 21, 2021

belgend
Mar 6, 2008

League: Jupiler
Cup: Croky
Trophies: None
Yep, it's Belgefoot time


My pick for this sack race will be David Moyes. I will not elaborate

NinpoEspiritoSanto
Oct 22, 2013



Vieira is my pick

Jose
Jul 24, 2007





arteta

JingleBells
Jan 7, 2007

Oh what fun it is to see the Harriers win away!


Ralph Hasenhüttl

trem_two
Oct 22, 2002

it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals

Fun Shoe

Vieira

Barry Shitpeas
Dec 17, 2003

there is no need
to be upset

Winner POTM July 2013


Pep

Literally Lewis Hamilton
Feb 22, 2005

#JusticeForBreonnaTaylor
#BlackLivesMatter
#StillIRise
#Blessed





Xisco at Watford will be the first to go, bank it

Blasmeister
Jan 15, 2012



Arteta

Tortilla Maker
Dec 13, 2005
Un Desmadre A Toda Madre


Easy. Sean Dyche

sticksy
May 26, 2004




Nap Ghost

Top, top OP.

My heart and love of Arsenal meltdowns says Arteta, but I'll go with Xisco at Watford - they love a good midseason sacking, several even.

Eau de MacGowan
May 12, 2009

Just a poor man's Park Ji Sung

Leapord

Winner, TRP Post of the Month September 2021


Bielsa's overdue a meltdown/mutual consenting

Bogan Krkic
Oct 31, 2010

Swedish style? No.
Yugoslavian style? Of course not.
It has to be Zlatan-style.



Xisco seems like the obvious pick but I think Hassenhuttl is gonna manage another 9-0 as Southampton finally go down, so he's my choice

the sex ghost
Sep 6, 2009




Tortilla Maker posted:

Easy. Sean Dyche

This would be my choice I think. Just swerved relegation last year and signed no-one in the pre season. Think dyche is finding wins harder to come by and other teams have figured them out - wouldn't be surprised to see the chairman getting rid if they lose another few games in a row. I do not have the ear of the board at Burnley though so could go either way

McFlurry Fan #1
Dec 31, 2005

He can't kill me. I'm indestructible. Everybody knows that

Viera will be out first to get in whichever of the British managers luncheon club fancies it.

Arteta probably goes at the end of the season.

Akbar
Nov 22, 2004

Hubba-
Hubba.


I'm going with Arteta

CyberPingu
Sep 15, 2013


If you're not striving to improve, you'll end up going backwards.

Graham Potter for me

Myssu
Sep 19, 2012






It has to be Vieira. Palace love to abandon an ambitious project for an established clogger at the first hurdle.

vyelkin
Jan 2, 2011

Jozy loves scoring like a fat kid loves eating cake.




I say Xisco, Watford sack their manager like three times a season.

Shrapnig
Jan 21, 2005
i've confused having some disposable income with being rich and post like i'm on 4chan in 2010 please disregard my unearned sense of superiority

Dean Smith.

Mickolution
Oct 1, 2005

Ballers...I put numbers on the boards

I was going to say Viera, but Southampton's fixtures are pretty tough, so I'll say Hasenhuttl.

FullLeatherJacket
Dec 30, 2004

Chiunque può essere Luther Blissett, semplicemente adottando il nome Luther Blissett



Jurgen Klopp

Go big or nach Hause gehen

Gigi Galli
Sep 19, 2003

and then the car turned in to fire


Based on how dire Southampton were last season and a lack of transfer news I’ll say Ralph Hasenhüttl as well.

Reprisal
Jul 20, 2001



Close call, I’ll go with Arteta

NinpoEspiritoSanto
Oct 22, 2013



So I went with Vieira because it's a big step up for him from his previous management challenges, particularly so with pretty much all Palace's experience going out the door along with Hodgson. I can absolutely see Parish sacking him the nanosecond it feels like they're headed for a relegation fight.

Concerned Citizen
Jul 22, 2007



Ramrod XTreme

arteta

sticksy
May 26, 2004




Nap Ghost

Southampton haven't bought anyone yet to replace Danny Ings aka 90% of their goals have they?

the sex ghost
Sep 6, 2009




what's the temperature like on Ole's fancy recaro seat. Is it league or bust this season with sancho and varane or will he get time if they slow down during the season or get dumped out of a cup early. Obviously the 5-1 win last saturday probably helps but i dont really know what the expectation is over there

NinpoEspiritoSanto
Oct 22, 2013



the sex ghost posted:

what's the temperature like on Ole's fancy recaro seat. Is it league or bust this season with sancho and varane or will he get time if they slow down during the season or get dumped out of a cup early. Obviously the 5-1 win last saturday probably helps but i dont really know what the expectation is over there

Expected to challenge, absolutely not a disaster if we match last season/close the gap on first place. Fans will be agitating if there's another potless season (I won't be one of them but I'd consider that a disappointing season and pressure on him to produce next season from a fan perspective). So long as Ole's securing CL football the Glazers won't touch him, he won't be allowed to go backwards if it affects the bottom line.

These signings are with the aim of keeping United in a stronger position to stay in the top four spots, anything else beyond that is on Ole. He wants to win trophies I have no doubt, however if that was the Glazers real intent then we'd have addressed the McFred issue as well as securing the Varane and Sancho transfers. They have however also realised that you still have to properly invest in the squad to stay in those champions league spots because all the other teams around you will spend to get in there and you can easily end up going without for a number of seasons as United did post Ferguson.

e: tbh I'd say he's one of the safest managers on the list alongside klopp

NinpoEspiritoSanto fucked around with this message at 22:33 on Aug 17, 2021

Jose
Jul 24, 2007





i went with arteta mostly because arsenal's next 2 matches are chelsea and city lol

sticksy
May 26, 2004




Nap Ghost

The Ings thing intrigued me so looked up some Advanced Stats:
  • In 19/20, Ings played in all 38 games (!), scoring 22 of Southampton's 51 total goals or 43%.
  • Last season he scored 12 of their 47 goals (26%), playing in 29 games but there was more contribution from others, with Che Adams scoring 9 in 36.
  • However, they scored less overall goals last year (51 vs 47) while conceding 8 more - their GD went from -9 to -21.
  • That GD is not quite nailed on relegation, but trending in the wrong direction and puts them solidly in the 15-17 range where they'll be battling it most of the season.
  • The average GD of the relegated teams the past 3 seasons was 36, 34, and 45 (lol, Huddersfield with 54 in 2018/19, only team worse this century was Derby in 07/08 with -69 nice ).
/DZ SiBoT

ozmunkeh
Feb 28, 2008

hey guys what is happening in this thread


Put me down for a Hasenhuttl, please. Weren’t Southampton in a Europa league spot at Christmas before completely making GBS threads the bed in the second half of last season? If it wasn’t for that crazy purple patch they’d have been relegated in March.

Concerned Citizen
Jul 22, 2007



Ramrod XTreme

Jose posted:

i went with arteta mostly because arsenal's next 2 matches are chelsea and city lol

2 points out of the first six games and then a sack if you ask me

paddyboat
Feb 20, 2013

Maxi, Maxi Rodriguez
Run down the wing for me

micky farteta

emjayo
Apr 11, 2013

PWM POTM WINNER
April 2014


Vieira.

Got a feeling Arteta will hold on for grim death.

McFlurry Fan #1
Dec 31, 2005

He can't kill me. I'm indestructible. Everybody knows that

sticksy posted:

Southampton haven't bought anyone yet to replace Danny Ings aka 90% of their goals have they?

They bought Adam Armstrong from Blackburn who is decent but not a proven prem striker - as Che Adams was at the time.

Flayer
Sep 13, 2003

Enjoyment and excitement



Buglord

Mikel Arteta

He's clearly out of his depth. He's putting out Wenger era League-Cup-3rd-round-against-Scunthorpe teams and expecting results.

Grimble
Jul 7, 2002

He will build a castle with garden on an island called Cheshire, and he is permitted to breed.


The bald fraud

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hello i am phone
Nov 24, 2005
¿donde estoy?


My vote goes to Bielsa leaving because someone cut the training field grass 2mm too short.

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