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Ehud
Sep 19, 2003


Sexy Beasts is a new dating show where real-life singles sport elaborate makeup and prosthetics to put true blind-date chemistry to the test.



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fartknocker
Oct 28, 2012

Damn it, this always happens. I think I'm gonna score, and then I never score. It's not fair.




Wedge Regret

Thursday night NFC East Clownball, but sadly, no Fitzmagic to push it over the edge :smith:

mastershakeman
Oct 28, 2008

No sense of smell? No problem! Just take one dose of Dr. Weinstein's miracle cure and you'll feel right as rain!

bengals better watch out for the Andy Dalton revenge game

Ja'Marr Chase is gonna have like 250 yards and 3tds though against this secondary

shyduck
Oct 3, 2003




https://twitter.com/ProFootballTalk/status/1437723729874796550?s=19

quote:

On second down from the Baltimore 26-yard-line, Raiders head coach Jon Gruden called for the field goal unit to come on to attempt a game-winning kick. The transition from offense to special teams took longer than usual and the Raiders had already used their timeouts, which led to the penalty once kicker Daniel Carlson and company were on the field.

“Our kicker was warming up in the net,” Gruden said, via Frank Schwab of Yahoo Sports. “No one could find him.”

Pimpcasso
Mar 13, 2002
MY PRONOUNS ARE SHIT/HEAD


Russell Wilson bullshit going to gently caress us up

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001




Quick Reads highlights with a bit about Allen Robinson having one of the saddest histories of most targets on god-awful offenses: https://www.footballoutsiders.com/quick-reads/2021/qr-week-1-will-allen-robinson-ever-get-good-qb

quote:

3. Jalen Hurts - Hurts' average pass only traveled 3.8 yards beyond the line of scrimmage, fewest of any qualifying quarterback ... but that's OK, because he had the best DYAR on throws to receivers at or behind the line of scrimmage. He threw 14 of those passes, completing 13 of them for 97 yards and a touchdown.

10. Tyrod Taylor - One reason the Texans offense was so surprisingly effective was that they stayed on schedule. Taylor's average pass came with 6.2 yards to go for a first down, least of any qualified passer this week.

18. Joe Burrow - Burrow was a monster in the second quarter, but only in the second quarter. He did not throw for a first down in the first quarter, and only had five in the second half and overtime, but he had eight in the second quarter, when all nine of his throws resulted in completions or DPIs for a total of 145 yards. (He was also sacked once.)

26. Andy Dalton - With about a minute to go in the third quarter, the Bears had the ball at their own 21, down 27-14ónot an ideal situation, but not a lost cause either. From that point forward, Dalton picked up only one first down, going 7-of-13 for 55 yards with a pair of sacks. That actually wasn't his worst part of the gameóhe had the worst DYAR in the first quarter (7-of-10 for 50 yards with one sack, one fumble, and one interception). He was also the league's worst passer on third/fourth downs (6-of-11 for 45 yards with three conversions, two sacks, one interception, and a fumble) and on deep balls, though that comes with an asterisk. Officially, Dalton only threw one deep pass in this game, and it was intercepted. But even that pass only went deep because it was tipped by a different defender 5 yards downfield. Meanwhile, Justin Fields had -1 DYAR passing (2-for-2 for 10 yards, with neither throw picking up a first down) and 9 DYAR rushing (one carry for a 3-yard touchdown).

32. Ryan Tannehill - Tannehill did not complete a pass for a first down until the Titans were down 17-0 in the second quarter. Up to that point, he had gone 3-of-6 for 15 yards, with three sacks that lost a total of 28 yards. Really, Tannehill's six sacks (and his two fumbles on those plays) are the biggest reason he's in last place. Take all sacks away from all quarterbacks and seven players fall behind him in the rankings. They were not the only problem, however. On throws down the middle, Tannehill went 7-of-13 for only 61 yards with one touchdown and one interception.

sirtommygunn
Mar 7, 2013






Is the net not the first place you look for the kicker?

Impossibly Perfect Sphere
Nov 6, 2002


You probably expect your kicker to be paying some attention to the game in that situation.

DariusLikewise
Oct 4, 2008

You wore that on Halloween?


Kalli posted:

Quick Reads highlights with a bit about Allen Robinson having one of the saddest histories of most targets on god-awful offenses: https://www.footballoutsiders.com/quick-reads/2021/qr-week-1-will-allen-robinson-ever-get-good-qb

4 of the top 8 QBs are NFC West

sharknado slashfic
Jun 24, 2011



If you think about it last night's game doesn't count because the regular season is supposed to be 16 games

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001




More nerd crap:

https://twitter.com/benbbaldwin/status/1437790527479484426

Vengarr
Jun 17, 2010

Smashed before noon


Impossibly Perfect Sphere posted:

You probably expect your kicker to be paying some attention to the game in that situation.

Kicking a field goal on second down with plenty of time left is not exactly ďstandard operating procedureĒ.

Impossibly Perfect Sphere
Nov 6, 2002


Vengarr posted:

Kicking a field goal on second down with plenty of time left is not exactly ďstandard operating procedureĒ.

Weren't they in OT at the 26? Seems like you'd know a game winning FG attempt is imminent.

Guze
Oct 10, 2007

Regular Human Bartender



At the kicking net seems like a logical place for the kicker to be

sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, MAD-2R World


Today I discovered that Peyton Manning is hawking $200 whiskey that tastes like vomit.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tnVzkRR6XcA

The Puppy Bowl
Jan 31, 2013

A dog, in the house.

*woof*

Impossibly Perfect Sphere posted:

Weren't they in OT at the 26? Seems like you'd know a game winning FG attempt is imminent.

Which is probably why he was getting in some practice kicks.

hifi
Jul 25, 2012



It was second down too. If they wanted to kick "whenever" they should have had a coach or waterboy stand by him to push him on the field when they wanted to kick.

CharlestheHammer
Jun 26, 2011

YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!


The net isnít in exactly a hiden place. The number of times the broadcast had cut to it during final drives when itís relevant must be in the thousands

three
Aug 9, 2007

i fantasize about ndamukong suh licking my doodoo hole

Maybe Gruden and his coaching staff are complete dipshits if they didn't check the place the kicker warms up for the kicker.

pasaluki
Feb 27, 2008

THIS WHAGON HAS NO BREAKS! I HAVE THE HEART OF THE BUUFALO the strength OF THE MOUNTAIN, THE FURY OF THE THUNDER AND MY WILL IS UNBREAKABLE! I will not surrender to KNOW ONE


sean10mm posted:

Today I discovered that Peyton Manning is hawking $200 whiskey that tastes like vomit.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tnVzkRR6XcA

I wouldn't drink whiskey from a man who thinks Papa John's pizza was some amazing delicacy.

Kull the Conqueror
Apr 8, 2006




Teddy Fourdowns is coming for the National Football League

Ort
Jul 2, 2005

Proud graduate of the Andy Reid coaching clinic.


Itíd be awesome if Teddy did really well this year. Iím not a Broncos fan but I think itís so great when someone is put into a new system that works for them and sees success. I canít imagine how many talented, high potential players saw no success due to bad coaching or management over the years.

Hot Diggity!
Apr 3, 2010

MEAN MUGGIN'




sean10mm posted:

Today I discovered that Peyton Manning is hawking $200 whiskey that tastes like vomit.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tnVzkRR6XcA

Hm badmouthing Dickel not sure if I can trust these fellas

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001




Ort posted:

Itíd be awesome if Teddy did really well this year. Iím not a Broncos fan but I think itís so great when someone is put into a new system that works for them and sees success. I canít imagine how many talented, high potential players saw no success due to bad coaching or management over the years.

Him and Tyrod just quietly making teams 'ok'

sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, MAD-2R World


Hot Diggity! posted:

Hm badmouthing Dickel not sure if I can trust these fellas

They said that if you like Dickel it's still way worse than just buying Dickel No. 12 instead of $200 piss lol

FizFashizzle
Mar 30, 2005










Darnold has embraced his new team and decided to be EXACTLY average.

Also saints have a Covid outbreak

https://twitter.com/adamschefter/status/1437821388975484928?s=21

DariusLikewise
Oct 4, 2008

You wore that on Halloween?


I hope Matthew Stafford throws a few more touchdowns this week :)

hifi
Jul 25, 2012



titans waive "the money badger", signs point to randy bullock being the replacement, currently on the PS.

CharlestheHammer
Jun 26, 2011

YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!


DariusLikewise posted:

I hope Matthew Stafford throws a few more touchdowns this week :)

I mean he will.

The only fear is the wwar and tear of the Lions doesnít catch up to him

Nodoze
Aug 17, 2006

If it's only for a night I can live without you

wonder how many teams traveling to florida will suddenly find themselves with an outbreak of their own

Nick Jr. Face
Apr 23, 2010




Broncos play in Jacksonville :ohdear:

a neat cape
Feb 22, 2007

Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!


hifi posted:

titans waive "the money badger", signs point to randy bullock being the replacement, currently on the PS.

Lol

wandler20
Nov 13, 2002

How many Championships?


https://twitter.com/MySportsUpdate/status/1437841019974848517?s=20

ozymandius1024
Mar 14, 2006

You don't yank on the Spine of God



No 7th Rounder for the Giants then.


What a loving waste of time.

Ornery and Hornery
Oct 22, 2020



Iím rooting for Teddy

Gonz
Dec 22, 2009

"Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?"


I watched Zane Gonzalez attempt kicks in Arizona for three seasons, and can confirm that he is terrible at his job.

a neat cape
Feb 22, 2007

Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!


https://twitter.com/BaldyNFL/status/1437757463512723457?s=19

Hot Diggity!
Apr 3, 2010

MEAN MUGGIN'




lol

On the broadcast there was some speculation that he got hurt and they kept zooming in on him laying on his back and wincing. Now we know why.

https://twitter.com/ByRyanWood/status/1437843784000282624

Mega64
May 23, 2008



Hot Diggity! posted:

lol

On the broadcast there was some speculation that he got hurt and they kept zooming in on him laying on his back and wincing. Now we know why.

https://twitter.com/ByRyanWood/status/1437843784000282624

Finally, we found Rodgers's one weakness: Getting kicked in the nuts.

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Forrest on Fire
Nov 23, 2012



Mega64 posted:

Finally, we found Rodgers's one weakness: Getting kicked in the nuts.

BREAKING: Chicago Bears to sign Golden State Warriors Star Draymond Green as a "Defensive Consultant"

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