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Zil

I kind of want it.
Good Enough!




https://twitter.com/domo_ocam/status/1437517974374690825

Even if this is fake, I want to discuss the implementation of a shark based religion in at least this thread if not all of BYOB



Pros:

Sharks are cute
Sharks are smooth
Sharks attack floridaman

Cons:

Can be a bit of a meanie first thing in the morning, totally not a morning person
Kills people
Not all that great of a parent since most just ditch their young first chance they get
Doesn't like the color purple

Zil fucked around with this message at 00:14 on Sep 15, 2021

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Manifisto




shark jesus makes considerably more sense than various other versions, so I'm inclined to say you're onto something. the biblical passage about jesus laying into a school of tuna, blood and guts everywhere, makes a lot more sense in this interpretation.


ty pot smoke phoenix

Zil

I kind of want it.
Good Enough!




Leviticus 26:29 makes a lot more sense if you think they mistranslated "your" for "their"

quote:

You will eat the flesh of your sons and the flesh of your daughters


Big thanks to Heather Papps for my first BYOB sig!!11!

Stoner Sloth



we're gonna need a bigger church

Zil

I kind of want it.
Good Enough!




would there be hymns sung to the sound of the jaws theme?

Areola Grande



Stoner Sloth posted:

we're gonna need a bigger church

lol

Zil

I kind of want it.
Good Enough!




Stoner Sloth posted:

we're gonna need a bigger church

Zil

I kind of want it.
Good Enough!




What would the shark pope hat look like? Also would the hat be worn on the head or the fin?

nesamdoom

nesaM killed Masen


Zil posted:

What would the shark pope hat look like? Also would the hat be worn on the head or the fin?

:emo:nesaMDoom:emo:

FutonForensic



hey, what gives. i thought they said they'd be passing fish around at this thing

shark jesus, fish bones hanging out the mouth: :sweatdrop:


by Khanstant

Zil

I kind of want it.
Good Enough!




Monty Python and The Holy Chum Bucket

Escape From Noise

Would an advertising executive
Understand where the homeless live?
Would he know about the bubbles in his glass?
Would the bubbles in his glass
Understand what the man's golf cart is?
Do they know you can die frozen underneath an overpass?


Jesus isn't a sheep, he's a shark

KaBob

return of the bird tribes

I feel like Noah's Shark is just too obvious and not funny enough.

But I do get a chuckle out of the idea of people congregating under the ministries of the Great White Church.

Escape From Noise

Would an advertising executive
Understand where the homeless live?
Would he know about the bubbles in his glass?
Would the bubbles in his glass
Understand what the man's golf cart is?
Do they know you can die frozen underneath an overpass?


KaBob posted:

I feel like Noah's Shark is just too obvious and not funny enough.

But I do get a chuckle out of the idea of people congregating under the ministries of the Great White Church.

Jesus was a hammerhead!

KaBob

return of the bird tribes

Escape From Noise posted:

Jesus was a hammerhead!

You mean Jawsus?

vanisher



KaBob posted:

You mean Jawsus?



Sig images courtesy of the talented Luvcow, Nut, & Death Sext

Drink-Mix Man

You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.



King of the Chews

Stoner Sloth



KaBob posted:

You mean Jawsus?


Drink-Mix Man posted:

King of the Chews

Stoner Sloth



walking on water still miraculous but for a different reason

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN


I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.




Noah: we're gonna need a bigger boat

Escape From Noise

Would an advertising executive
Understand where the homeless live?
Would he know about the bubbles in his glass?
Would the bubbles in his glass
Understand what the man's golf cart is?
Do they know you can die frozen underneath an overpass?


The miracle of the 5 seals and 2 chum buckets.



Thank you to forums superstar Heather Papps for this wonderful sig!

This fun image stolen from Vanisher is a contribution to my dumb thread

Thank you again Pot Smoke Pheonix for this hepcat Summer 2021 Sig!

Doctor Dogballs

driving the fuck truck from hand land to pound town without stopping at suction station


Silent bite, holy bite

----------------
"The Bad Boy of Comics"

FutonForensic



KaBob posted:

You mean Jawsus?


Drink-Mix Man posted:

King of the Chews


Doctor Dogballs posted:

Silent bite, holy bite


by Khanstant

Drink-Mix Man

You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.



Remember when there was only one set of footprints in the sand? That's when you were walking by yourself because I was asphyxiating and had to return to the ocean.

Now get in here.

Ventral EggSac



Shark Jesus wanders around preaching because he can't stop moving or he will suffocate

Drink-Mix Man

You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.



Going door to door Christmas caroling

"Baaaaby Christ!
Do do do do do do do..."

take the moon



shark jesus' big miracle is that he once walked on land but like i could do that :confused:



sig by pot smoke phoenix

sig gob by khanstant

Ventral EggSac



The Virgin Shark gave birth to several Jesus pups that had to eat each other to survive, only one made it out, that was Christ the King

Zil

I kind of want it.
Good Enough!




The breads and loaves parable is not what I remember, just shark jesus creating more and more fish for himself to devour.

Escape From Noise

Would an advertising executive
Understand where the homeless live?
Would he know about the bubbles in his glass?
Would the bubbles in his glass
Understand what the man's golf cart is?
Do they know you can die frozen underneath an overpass?


Bees kill more people annually than Jesus BTW.

Ventral EggSac



Blesséd are the shark week

Drink-Mix Man

You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.



Ventral EggSac posted:

Blesséd are the shark week

Prof. Crocodile



father shark do do do dododo
father shark do do do dododo
father shark do do do dododo
father shark

Jesus shark do do do dododo
Jesus shark do do do dododo
Jesus shark do do do dododo
Jesus shark

holy spirit shark do do do dododo
holy spirit shark do do do dododo
holy spirit shark do do do dododo
holy spirit shark

amen


thank you pot smoke phoenix for this amazing sig!

Zil

I kind of want it.
Good Enough!




Instead of saying "peace be with you" it will instead be "fish be with you"

Heather Papps


hello internet friend




the papal decree that baptisms only count if done in the ocean makes more sense now


https://thumbs.gfycat.com/FatBossyGrouper-mobile.webm
tyvm hbag and ten thousand blessings upon vanisher. an embarrassment of riches

Drink-Mix Man

You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.



From the shore you see someone getting dunked in the water for a baptism, followed by struggles and blood pooling around them

Prof. Crocodile



I’m trying to think of a shark version of the footprints in the sand parable but dang is it hard

may need lsbb to help out on this one.


thank you pot smoke phoenix for this amazing sig!

Ventral EggSac



All the lepers come to the beach to be healed and Jesus flings a seal into the air as hard as he possibly can

cruft



Prof. Crocodile posted:

I’m trying to think of a shark version of the footprints in the sand parable but dang is it hard

Drink-Mix Man posted:

Remember when there was only one set of footprints in the sand? That's when you were walking by yourself because I was asphyxiating and had to return to the ocean.

Now get in here.

LOL, by the way

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Sherbert Hoover



sorry somebody's gotta say it but i think one of the trainers hosed a shark


https://i.imgur.com/ZOIVskR.mp4ty ChubbyChecker

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