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Three Olives
Apr 10, 2005

I just wonder what the First Lady's boobs are up to!


https://twitter.com/MnDPS_DPS/status/1438584957597896711

Finally you no longer have to worry about an officer shooting you because they have requested documents for you that you keep in your wallet and glovebox. All you have to do now is put all the information required to steal your identity in a handy dandy little clear pouch and cover one of your car air vents with it. In the event of a traffic stop, clearly announce that your information is in the clear No Reach Pouch® and ask the officer to kindly not shoot you.

Another fabulous idea to protect officers, remember it's a thin blue line.

https://twitter.com/NBCNews/status/1438627772029669382

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Fucked-Up Little Dog
Aug 26, 2008

Posting live from the nightmare future of Web 3.0






Scratchmo

I already stuff my documents into handgun magazines, checkmate

BigBadSteve
Apr 29, 2009

Self Defense
Nil Satanus carborundum

Yeshua akbar!
(Xtian anarchisto, no bombo)


New market niche for handgun-sized non-translucent "license & document" wallets, don't miss the crowdfunder.

Trigger-happy cop in court: I believed the translucent pouch contained a translucent knife, so shot and killed the perp, I mean the deceased, in :neet:

Murdstone
Jun 14, 2005





You can put weed in there.

Armitag3
Mar 15, 2020

Forget it Jake, it's cybertown.



🫒🫒🫒

Bloodfart McCoy
Jul 20, 2007

That's a high quality avatar right there.


Whenever I’ve been pulled over the cop always sits in their car for like two or three minutes before even coming to the window. I usually use that time to just have my poo poo in hand for when he asks for it.

Knight
Dec 23, 2000

SPACE-A-HOLIC

Taco Defender

Murdstone posted:

You can put weed in there.
BREAKING: Officer suffers weed overdose while conducting traffic stop

Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

~*Suck My Balls*~

Fun Shoe

:d2a:

Brother Tadger
Feb 15, 2012

I'm accidentally a suicide bomber!


I keep my gun in my cellphone for these exact reasons

Murdstone
Jun 14, 2005





Bloodfart McCoy posted:

Whenever I’ve been pulled over the cop always sits in their car for like two or three minutes before even coming to the window. I usually use that time to just have my poo poo in hand for when he asks for it.
For real, that's not recommended. They see you grabbing stuff from different places and it makes them nervous and they may shoot you. You're supposed to wait for them to come to your window while keeping your hands on the wheel until they ask for something. Then you reach for things, making them nervous and then they may shoot you.

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014



if you guys would just ride a motorcycle in a bikini you wouldnt have this problem

givepatajob
Apr 8, 2003

One finds that this is the best of all possible worlds.

Dinosaur Gum

Brother Tadger posted:

I keep my gun in my cellphone for these exact reasons



Call of Duty Mobile getting crazy

Brother Tadger
Feb 15, 2012

I'm accidentally a suicide bomber!


Murdstone posted:

For real, that's not recommended. They see you grabbing stuff from different places and it makes them nervous and they may shoot you. You're supposed to wait for them to come to your window while keeping your hands on the wheel until they ask for something. Then you reach for things, making them nervous and then they may shoot you.

Honestly, if you aren’t white, the move is to stick both of your hands out the window and leave them there during the entire traffic stop until the cop tells you otherwise. When the cop tries to give you poo poo about your hands out the window, you tell them you were trying to put them at ease by offering to give them a hand job

kntfkr
Feb 11, 2019

GOOSE FUCKER



God bless Covid-19! Burn in hell pigs.

Xaintrailles
Aug 14, 2015

:hellyeah::histdowns:

its all nice on rice
Nov 12, 2006

Sweet, Salty Goodness.




Buglord

Countdown to someone getting murdered by police while reaching for one of these because there was definitely a weapon of some type underneath it.

hot cocoa on the couch
Dec 8, 2009



lmao america is so beyond hosed its unreal

Brother Tadger
Feb 15, 2012

I'm accidentally a suicide bomber!


Also lol that these people “invented” a plastic bag

old beast lunatic
Nov 2, 2004

LISTEN HERE FAT


that bag looks about the right size for a gun just sayin

drkhrs2020
Jul 22, 2007


"they could hide a razor blade in the edges and swing it like a lasso slitting an officer's throat from 10 feet away so that's why we aren't filing charges against the four cops who shot him in the back 78 times"

My Lovely Horse
Aug 21, 2010




Brother Tadger posted:

Honestly, if you aren’t white, the move is to stick both of your hands out the window and leave them there during the entire traffic stop until the cop tells you otherwise. When the cop tries to give you poo poo about your hands out the window, you tell them you were trying to put them at ease by offering to give them a hand job
Just give them the double thumbs up the whole time.

Anyway eagerly expecting the first police shooting where the cop goes free because the victim didn't own the pouch.

Three Olives
Apr 10, 2005

I just wonder what the First Lady's boobs are up to!


Coming soon: The Not-Resisting® helmet and neck brace

Lamebot
Sep 8, 2005

ロボ顔菌~♡


Cars are considered deadly weapons so they should just magdump into the car as soon as they get them to pull over.

Yaldabaoth
Oct 9, 2012


Three Olives posted:

https://twitter.com/MnDPS_DPS/status/1438584957597896711

Finally you no longer have to worry about an officer shooting you because they have requested documents for you that you keep in your wallet and glovebox. All you have to do now is put all the information required to steal your identity in a handy dandy little clear pouch and cover one of your car air vents with it. In the event of a traffic stop, clearly announce that your information is in the clear No Reach Pouch® and ask the officer to kindly not shoot you.

Another fabulous idea to protect officers, remember it's a thin blue line.

https://twitter.com/NBCNews/status/1438627772029669382

This won't solve the real reason why people get shot at a traffic stop: White cops who think black people are vicious animals that can't be reasoned with.

Lamebot
Sep 8, 2005

ロボ顔菌~♡


Also car bombs are a thing. Never know when a car will explode so we should be issuing roof mounted heat seeking missiles for every cruiser. Just to be safe.

Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006



Lamebot posted:

Cars are considered deadly weapons so they should just magdump into the car as soon as they get them to pull over.

Anyone could be a trained martial artists or some sort of cyborg Terminator so every cops needs an MP5 that they can use to unload at everyone within eyesight.

Szyznyk
Mar 4, 2008


I bought my son an over the visor organizer for this very reason. Paid for a replacement license so all three can be easily reached up for.

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

Three Olives posted:

Coming soon: The Not-Resisting® helmet and neck brace

Not-Resisting stainless steel neck gorget with matching breastplate designed to withstand 500 lbs of pressure from the back and front.

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

Alternatively one of those joke guns that pop out your documents instead of "bang" note

Sunswipe
Feb 5, 2016

by Fluffdaddy


Who What Now posted:

Anyone could be a trained martial artists or some sort of cyborg Terminator so every cops needs an MP5 that they can use to unload at everyone within eyesight.

You're not going to stop a Terminator with a piddly 9mm. Browning M2. 50 cals for all officers, unless you're some sort of commie who hates America. :911:

YeahTubaMike
Mar 24, 2005

*hic* Gotta finish thish . . .


Doctor Rope

That doesn't look like a white person face mask :confused:

sigher
Apr 22, 2008

Touch Fuzzy, get Spooky


Brother Tadger posted:

I keep my gun in my cellphone for these exact reasons



Is this real? I want one. lol

Colonel Cancer posted:

Not-Resisting stainless steel neck gorget with matching breastplate designed to withstand 500 lbs of pressure from the back and front.

I had to look up gorget and the definition says: a piece of armor for the throat. So that makes sense, then it also said: a wimple. Then I had to look up "wimple," because what the hell is that. Also people who also searched "gorget" searched up "Nazi Germany." :psyduck: Kinda makes sense in context of the thread though.

Sunswipe
Feb 5, 2016

by Fluffdaddy


sigher posted:

Is this real? I want one. lol

It is. And they make a thin blue line model, so gently caress them in the ear with an egg whisk.

runnypoops
Mar 26, 2016

been there. done that. prove yourself to me.

I keep mine in my rear end in a top hat and if the cops want em so bad they can reach up there and get em, like what am i paying axes for anyway?

deep dish peat moss
Jul 27, 2006

On a planet that increasingly resembles one huge Maximum Security prison, the only intelligent choice is to plan a jail break.



sigher posted:

Is this real? I want one. lol

I had to look up gorget and the definition says: a piece of armor for the throat. So that makes sense, then it also said: a wimple. Then I had to look up "wimple," because what the hell is that. Also people who also searched "gorget" searched up "Nazi Germany." :psyduck: Kinda makes sense in context of the thread though.

Maybe they're just big Ultima Online fans

Lamebot
Sep 8, 2005

ロボ顔菌~♡


sigher posted:

Is this real? I want one. lol

This was 100% made to help cops make even more ridiculous self defense arguments.

hell astro course
Dec 10, 2009

pizza sucks



cool to know they can light you up if you're a suspect w/o a No Reach Pouch®
I won't be getting one :unsmigghh:

ded
Oct 27, 2005

Kooler than Jesus


oh dear god. its 2021 and i clicked on a three olives thread

kntfkr
Feb 11, 2019

GOOSE FUCKER


There's a thing blue line on my nutsack. It's a vein.

And there's a thick blue line on the shaft of my penis. I drew it on with Sharpie.

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Brother Tadger
Feb 15, 2012

I'm accidentally a suicide bomber!


kntfkr posted:

And there's a thick blue line on the shaft of my penis. I drew it on with Sharpie.

The line or the penis?

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